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Halloween Kills (2021)
Worthwhile middle section of the trilogy!
I have to say that the only reason I subscribed to the Peacock app was to see HALLOWEEN KILLS (2021) at the same time it appeared in theaters (I'm still not ready to set foot in a movie theater because of Covid, even though I'm probably being nothing but a big baby). I'm very glad that I did. This is a slam-bang horror flick that doesn't skimp on the bloody kills and gives everyone a chance to shine, but if you are expecting Jamie Lee Curtis to face-off against Michael Myers here, you are going to be bitterly disappointed. Even though all the sequels to the original HALLOWEEN (1978) have been "de-canonized" (their description, not mine), you'll have loads of fun trying to recognize the sly references to nearly all the sequels that director David Gordon Green sprinkles throughout the film. The film picks up immediately after HALLOWEEN (2018) ends, after we watch Cameron Elam (Dylan Arnold), the son of original film's Lonnie Elam (played here by Robert Longstreet), finds a still-alive Officer Hawkins (Will Patton, who was stabbed in the neck in the first film), which results in a 14-minute flashback to the events in Haddonfield on Halloween Night, 1978. We see a young Tommy Doyle nearly getting killed by Michael Myers, when a young Officer Hawkins (Thomas Mann) and his partner unknowingly save him and then enter the old Myers home, where his partner is grabbed by Michael Myers. Officer Hawkins draws his weapon and tries to shoot Myers, but he accidentally shoots his partner in the neck, killing him. The police then surround the Myers home when Michael comes walking out of it, all their guns drawn. We are then back in the present, with Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) being transported to Haddonfield General Hospital by ambulance after being stabbed in the stomach by Michael. She is accompanied by her daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) when they hear fire trucks approaching Laurie's burning home. Laurie yells out, "Let it burn!", knowing that Michael Myers is trapped inside. We then see some graphic operating footage as doctors open up Laurie's stomach and fix her injuries, while the Haddonfield Fire Dept. Tries to put out the fire in her home. When one of the firemen falls through the floor into Laurie's basement, where Michael is trapped, Michael graphically kills him with the fireman's own sharp tool, escaping from the basement and killing all the firemen outside (and inside) in very graphic manners (it's a complete bloody massacre). Laurie is then put in a hospital room to recuperate, where she is joined by a recuperating Officer Hawkins. Laurie tells Hawkins that Michael is dead (she doesn't know he escaped from her burning home) and Hawkins tells Laurie that he's glad he is dead, as it was him who allowed him to live back in 1978. Another flashback shows us Dr. Loomis (played by someone to look like Donald Pleasence) is about to shoot Michael Myers in the head back in 1978, but Officer Hawkins stops him from doing it. Up to this day, Hawkins blames himself for all the deaths committed by Michael, if he only let Loomis finish Michael off. After the slaughter of the firefighters, an adult Tommy Doyle (a fantastic Anthony Michael Hall) rallies all the citizens of Haddonfield to hunt down and kill Michael Myers, forming a vigilante group to search for the killer. That's all I'm going to give away, but if you are a fan of John Carpenter's original film, you are going to find a lot to enjoy here. The blood flows freely and the gore goes way beyond what is acceptable in most other horror films with an R-Rating, but the MPA (formerly the MPAA) seems to give these films a pass when it comes to gore and extreme violence. You will see the grown up children of Haddonfield, now adults in their 40's & 50's, getting killed by Michael in various gory manners, including a knife in the eye, eyes being poked out with Michael's fingers, a scalp being torn off (poor Nancy Stephens, who returns from the 1978 original) and various stabbings using Michael's favorite weapon, the large butcher knife (there's a stabbing in the armpit that's very hard to watch). What's particularly memorable about the film is that everyone in the film is given a chance to shine. Even though Jamie Lee never leaves the hospital in this film (shades of HALLOWEEN II (1981) or even encounters Michael here (that will be the premise of the final film in the trilogy, HALLOWEEN ENDS, scheduled for an October 2022 release), she still registers as Laurie, a no-nonsense broad who doesn't suffer fools gladly. Both Judy Greer and Andi Matichak also give career defining moments, as does Anthony Michael Hall, who promises Laurie "Evil dies tonight". The sequence towards the end of the film where a group of citizens, led by Tommy, surround Michael Myers and begin shooting and battering him across the head and back with baseball bats ("Old Huckleberry" puts in an appearance) and two-by-fours is a thing of brutal beauty, but when they think he is dead, only for him to get up and kill everyone, proves that evil is something that cannot be killed so easily, if at all. The death of Cameron by Michael in front of Allyson is probably the most brutal kill in the film, as Michael knows that Allyson has feelings for Cameron, so he kills him slowly and painfully, Cameron groaning while Michael slowly approaches toward Allyson down the stairs, stopping to grab Cameron's head and twist it 180° in a sickening "snap!", proving that Michael has no humanity left in his body. The more he kills the stronger he gets. I know some people are going to complain that Laurie never even sees Michael in this film, but they art missing the point. The whole town of Haddonfield is tired of living in fear and wants Michael dead. The film ends with Laurie picking up a bloody butcher knife and saying to Officer Hawkins that it is up to her to kill Michael, even if it means her death. I guess we will have to wait until the final chapter in the trilogy to see what happens, but I think Officer Hawkins will also have a say in the matter. I have to also mention that there are a few actors here that also deserve mentions because of their roles. That would be Michael McDonald as "Little John" and Scott MacArthur as "Big John" two gay men who are now living in the refurbished Myers home. Their performances raise the film a few notches above most horror films, as does Ross Bacon as escaped mental patient "Tivoli", who has come to Haddonfield General Hospital to give himself up, only to be chased by a gang of vigilantes, who think he is Michael Myers, through the hospital, which results in him committing suicide by jumping out a hospital window. It should also be noted that Ross Bacon died before the film was released. Originally slated to be released in October 2020, it was delayed by a year due to theaters in the U. S. being shut down by the Covid-19 Pandemic. A worthwhile watch for all HALLOWEEN lovers. You know who you are.
Death Park 5 (2019)
A Great Little Independent Horror Short, Part 5 in the series.
Anyone who is a member of the Roku-only streaming channel B-Movie TV will immediately know this entire series, directed by B-Movie TV guru Ken "Ace" Brewer and written by him and Meri Gyetvey. While not rocket science by any stretch of the imagination, this is still a mighty entertaining slasher film about a killer in a Donald Trump mask (political allegory?) slashing his way through a public park with his trusty butcher knife. As a viewer who has seen all five parts of this series, Part 5 is definitely the best of the lot, as it is full of nasty kills and moves at a brisk pace. It seems much shorter than its 30-minute running time. Ace has also improved immensely as a director, as you can see his style improve from part-to-part; each part in the series being longer, gorier and faster paced than the previous part. If you haven't seen it, all five parts are available on YouTube as part of the B-Movie TV site. I would advise that you check it out and judge for yourself!
The Garbage Man (2009)
Garbage is right.
I saw this "film" on the streaming channel American Horrors, which is run by the director Hart D. Fisher. Like his channel, this "film" is repetitive, juvenile and very boring. Making the serial killer an African American is unique, but the film grinds to a near halt whenever you think it is about to become interesting, which it never does. Full of headache-inducing in-camera effects and many moments where absolutely NOTHING happens, this film would try the patience of a saint. Hey, I'm all for "art" films, but this one gives the genre a really bad name. Oh, and Hart, quit whining on your channel about how the lead actor tried to extort you. It makes you look even more juvenile than this movie! That was over 10 years ago! Get on with your life.Ugh.
The X Files: Familiar (2018)
Classic X-Files
The eighth episode of the 11th Season, titled "Familiar" is classic X-Files, right down to introducing a new, eerie killer called Mr. Chuckleteeth. In the town of Eastwood, Connecticut, the young son of Police Officer Eggers (Jason Gray-Stanford, who was "Lt. Randall Disher" on MONK) is found brutally murdered in the woods. The arrival of Mulder and Scully at the murder scene spells bad news for Police Chief Strong (Alex Carter; "Detective Vartann" on CSI) and the entire Eastwood Police Department when Scully contradicts Chief Strong's opinion that the little boy was attacked by a wolf. Scully says it is more likely a person who did this and he (or she) lives in Eastwood (Mulder says to Scully, "You're my homey" when she thanks him for backing her profile, but he thinks the killing was caused by a Hell Hound). Eastwood is a regular Peyton Place, as the married chief Strong is cheating on his wife with the wife of Officer Eggers and Eastwood itself was the site of witch burnings in the 16th century. But what does this have to do with the young boy's death? Chief Strong loses his young daughter when she follows one of her favorite kids show characters (called the "Biggle-Tiggles" a take-off on the Tele-Tubbies) and she is murdered in the same area of the woods as the young boy. Officer Eggers discovers that someone in town is a registered child sex offender and he goes to his house, where the crowd cheers him on to kill him. In a case of mass hysteria, Officer Eggers shoots the man in the head in front of nearly the entire town. Mulder makes a discovery in the woods (the young victims were killed in a circle of salt), which leads him to the real killer. But what does Mr. Chuckleteeth have to do with all this? Basically nothing, except that the real killer is using the child's favorite characters to kill the children (Mr. Chuckleteeth is a part Of the Biggle-Tiggles Show and in a scene of great horror we hear the Mr. Chuckleteeth theme song with a twist: "Mr Chuckleteeth, we all love you so / Stay with us forever, and never let us go / Mr Chuckleteeth, it's time to say farewell / If you try to run...we'll send you straight to HELL!", as Mulder watches the TV screen turn to fire. You have to see it for yourself!). Just like most classic episodes of the X-Files, there are memorable characters and a really twisted plot. Mr. Chuckleteeth will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Great episode.
The X Files: Rm9sbG93ZXJz (2018)
Different is not always a bad thing
I am never surprised when THE X-FILES tries something different, but the seventh episode of the 11th season, titled "Rm9sbG93ZXJz", threw me for a loop. That's a good thing. After opening with a self-aware A.I. narrating how learning from people may lead to our own doom, we then find Mulder & Scully sitting silently at an empty ultra-modern sushi restaurant. After ordering their food from a computerized menu, Mulder is dissatisfied with his choice (in one of the episode's most laugh-out-loud moments, he is served a blobfish), so he takes his meal to the kitchen, only to discover that all the cooking is done by computer and robots (All the robots stop and look at him in a funny/frightening scene). When it comes time to pay the bill, Mulder pulls out his "Bigly" credit card and inserts it into a slot at the counter. When he refuses to tip the "sushi bots" is when the nightmare begins for our intrepid duo. Be aware that this entire sequence was filmed dialogue free! Scully gets into a "Whipz" driverless car (that she didn't order) to take her home, while Mulder has to rely on his car's GPS system to take him home. The Whipz driverless car turns out to be a nightmare for Scully as it drives too fast and refuses to stop or slow down on Scully's orders. The GPS system in Mulder's car keeps returning him to the sushi restaurant, while his phone keeps reminding him that he has a certain amount of time left to tip the sushi bots (His Bigly credit card became "stuck" in the slot). Scully finally makes it home (And the Whipz app asks her on her phone if she was satisfied with her ride!), where we find out that she has a totally computerized home. Her alarm system refuses to accept her password ("Quequeg", which longtime viewers of the show will know was the name of her dog) and her nightmare begins. Her home turns against her while Mulder goes "oldschool" and uses a map to get home. Mulder's life is invaded by drones with cameras. Soon, his entire house is filled with miniature drones (they look like fireflies in the long shots!) as he escapes and drives to Scully's house. She also gets visited by a drone (just like Amazon began doing), who drops her off a Roomba-like vacuum called the "Zuemez 9000", which causes more damage than it does good (it has a mind of its own). Just before her gas fireplace explodes, she is saved by Mulder (who says in one of the episode's few spoken moments, "Why is your house so much nicer than mine?"). They decide to ditch their phones because Mulder thinks that is how they are tracking them, but they are chased to a computerized warehouse, where a 3-D printer is making assault rifle bullets which fire at Mulder and Scully. They are then visited by a mean-looking robot, which hands Mulder his phone and he finally tips the sushi bots 10%, which ends their nightmare. the screen on his phone then reads "We learn from you" and Mulder ends the episode by saying, "We have to be better teachers!" This excellent episode was probably not seen by s lot of people because FOX did not advertise the show (they spend their money pushing 9-1-1 instead) because this season has been getting low numbers in the ratings. I laud Chris Carter and director Glen Morgan for trying to be different (a TV show without dialogue is rare today). Having the computers play the Crosby, Stills & Nash song "Teach Your Children Well' is one of the little highlights of this episode and instead of the opening stinger saying "The Truth Is Out There", it says "VGhlFRydXRoIGlzIE91dCBUaGVyZQ=" which is computer code for something which I have been not able to decipher. This episode is a entertaining reminder on how we rely on our phones and tablets, maybe a little too much. It hits the nail on the head. C'mon, people and support this show! It doesn't get much better than this episode.
The Greasy Strangler (2016)
"Rootie Tootie Disco Cutie!"
"My son is a crapper. He craps in the bed, he crapped on his mother's leg and he crapped on top of the TV!" Every once in a while I find a strange film in my mailbox. I get sent many films, usually the ones that aren't worth the plastic they are recorded on, but every so often something comes along that is so unusual, so twisted, that you can't help but sit up and take notice. This is one of those films. Not only did it make me think long after I watched it, but I actually had a nightmare about it the night that I did view it. I can't say that about many films. You don't usually see me mention the words "cult" and "films" in the same sentence (I think that the audience makes it a cult film, not the filmmakers) but this is guaranteed to be a cult film in the years to come. You'll think the same thing once you see it too. It hits all the right notes, will make you want to retch at some of the visuals and doesn't shy away from anything, This is early John Waters territory, if he were on LSD (that is a good thing). The acting comes from another planet. but it works beautifully within the confines of this film, there are lines of dialogue that will make you laugh out loud (it is all in the delivery) and there is graphic full frontal male and female nudity (the filmmakers said that all of the penises in this film were prosthetic, but they are still disgusting!). Rather than giving my regular spoiler-filled review (I would rather let you discover it), I'll just touch the surface of this instantly memorable film (which was produced by of all people, actor Elijah Wood!). A brief description: Beer-bellied and man-boobed Big Brayden (Sky Elobar; who delivers his lines like he comes from an alternate Earth) and his cranky, big man-boobed, balding white-haired father, Big Ronnie (Michael St. Michael; whom you may remember was the star of THE VIDEO DEAD - 1987), run a tour of closed discos in the Los Angeles area, where daddy makes up stories about the Bee Gees, Michael Jackson and John Travolta (He tells his son that back in the 70's , he was a disco king that hobnobbed with all the big disco stars!). They have four paying tourists on this walking tour and when an Indian tourist (Sam Dissanayake; who does an extremely funny bit a little later in the film when he mispronounces the word "potato") asks for verification of his story, Big Ronnie says, "What are you a bullshit artist?!?" (you'll be hearing that word a lot in this film, but it never grows old) and pulls down his pink disco shorts and farts in their direction (The pink outfits that both father and son wear shows their nipples protruding from their man-boobs! They almost look like transsexuals!). The tourist also mentions that free drinks were mentioned in the brochure and Big Ronnie yells out "No Free drinks!" Another tourist, Janet (Elizabeth De Razzo; she was "Maria" on the funny HBO Comedy series EASTBOUND & DOWN) catches Big Brayden's eye and they start a romantic relationship, much to Big Ronnie's displeasure. He tries to ruin the relationship by any means, even parading around naked in the house (Big Ronnie has a huge penis, while Big Brayden has a tiny one!). There is also a serial killer on the loose known as The Greasy Strangler who chokes people to death and eats their eyes. We know almost immediately That Big Ronnie is the serial killer, as we watch him kill the three tourists that gave him the most trouble on that morning's tour. He throws the Scandinavian tourist (Holland MacFallister) through the glass of a vending machine, rips the face off the Senegalese tourist (Abdoulaye NGom) until all that is left is the back of his head (!), and chokes out the Indian tourist (who says, "Am I dying?"). Big Ronnie is slathered in cooking grease and he gets it off of him by walking through a car wash totally naked, where the blind proprietor, Big Paul (Gil Gex), thinks that Big Ronnie is getting his car washed. He tells Big Brayden that he is the Greasy Strangler, but he doesn't believe him, saying "I call bullshit! You're a bullshit artist!", but it is rather obvious that he is because he likes cooking grease in his coffee, on hotdogs and even on his morning grapefruit! He is a grease junkie. While there is plenty of violence, it is all done for comedy effect, such as when he chokes out a hotdog vendor (Mel Kohl) for not putting grease on his hot dog ("I could lose my job!") until his eyes pop out! He grabs the eyes, fries them up and eats them. While this film contains some scenes that will likely make you wanna puke (Check out Big Ronnie disco dancing with his huge penis shaking in the wind while a spotlight follows him around), it is basically a love story at heart. Even though Big Ronnie always tells people Big Brayden is a "crapper" (there is nothing he hasn't taken a crap on, even though none of it is true), he loves his son and you will be thinking about that long after the film ends. How they deal with the romantic triangle proves that love. There is no bond as strong as that of a father and son. British director/co-screenwriter (with Toby Harvard) Jim Hosking also directed the "G Is For Grandad" segment of THE ABCs OF DEATH 2 (2014), but God only knows where he got the inspiration to make this weird and wonderful film (Maybe in a fever dream?). The dialogue will make you laugh out loud (really!) because he found the perfect two people to portray the father and son. They deliver their lines like you have never heard before and they do it with such pinaché, you'll be laughing at their delivery as soon as they open their mouths. You will hear such precious dialogue as: "You claim her pussy, but you'll never claim her heart!", the violence and gore looks like it came out of a child's cartoon (including the sound effects) and the music soundtrack, by Andrew Hung, sounds like early-80's video game music, but everything that should fail hits on all cylinders here. I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time; my mouth was hurting when the film ended. Highly recommended for people who like something totally different than anything they have ever seen before. A strong stomach is also recommended. Also starring Joe David Walters as "Oinker", a man who walks around with a pig nose; Dana Hass as "Big Heinie", a movie concession worker; Carl Solomon as "Danny The Crooner" (must be seen to be believed!); and Sal Koussa as "Ricky Pickles", the man who stole Big Brayden's mother away because he had six-pack abs. He has his ears ripped-off and his eyes are roasted over a campfire like marshmallows!
Billy Club (2013)
A Great Film About The Dark Side Of America's Favorite Pasttime
There are far too few horror films about America's favorite pasttime: Baseball. I can only think of a handfull of true horror films that deal with the subject, like BLOOD GAMES (1989) and the truly awful THE CATCHER (1998). There have been plenty of thrillers and crime films that use baseball as a major plot point, but not many true horror films. That is, until now. This horror film is a true gorehound's delight and has a pretty good story to go along with it, with an ending that will take you by surprise. We see some unknown psycho watching a tape of a Little League game, while he puts a wooden baseball bat in a vice. He hammers huge nails through it and inserts a large retractable blade at the tip. He then goes to the library to look at some microfiche about a missing man in 1995, who was last seen stumbling out of a tavern drunk as a skunk. We see the drunk guy pissing in an alley, where the psycho, now dressed in an Umpire's uniform complete with mask and deadly altered bat, chases the guy and pulls him from trying to escape under a garage door. He splatters the man's brains with the nail-filled bat, burns a number into his flesh and then uses the blowtorch to burn off his face on a team Little League photo. We then see the psycho use some chain pulley system in an underground room (it will be explained later), while he goes outside and hits a baseball into a lake, while we watch the ball sink to the bottom. We are now in Two Rivers, Wisconsin (filmed on location) in 1996, as tomboy bartender Alison McKenzie (Erin Hammond) notices a young man walk into the bar and order a whiskey on the rocks. It turns out he is Alison's old Little League teammate Bobby Spooner (Marshall Caswell) and they haven't seen each other since they were kids when that unfortunate "accident" happened. Bobby and Alison's old teammates (and lifelong Two Rivers residents) Kyle (Nick Sommer) and Danny (Max Williamson) soon join them at the bar. Both Kyle and Danny are dressed in baseball uniforms because they just got done playing a game in the local Adult League. They reminisce about the old days while purposely avoiding the subject of the "accident". The three guys go to the local ballfield to play a game of hit and catch, making fools of themselves, generally having fun and are soon joined by Alison when she gets off duty. It's apparent that there is some sexual heat between Bobby and Alison, but something hangs above all their heads like a black cloud. None of the four want to talk about it, but it eventually comes out. This is the 15 year anniversary when something really bad happened and Allison mentions that they should have a memorial this weekend for their childhood friends Sam and Jamie, as well as their Coach Fredricks at the Coach's cabin in the woods. But what actually happened to the three? Kyle has a flashback to when he was a kid and he saw his three friends murdered by fellow teammate Billy Haskins (Sebastian Weigman) at the ballfield in 1981, while the police handcuff Billy and take him away (Billy shoved a baseball bat down Coach Fredricks' throat and the other two victims were left in bloody posed positions). The young Kyle screams out, Fuck you, Billy! Fuck you!" as the flashback ends. The Umpire goes back to the library and pulls out some more microfiche, where he reads newspaper stories about Billy Haskins and how he was committed to a mental institution for his brutal murders. We see a bald Billy in his hospital room, grotesque pictures drawn on the wall and he is always crying. The Umpire calls a pizza delivery guy and has him deliver it to the wrong address. Apparently, the pizza delivery guy was also a teammate on that 1981 team, as the Umpire stands in the middle of the road and the pizza guy gets a flat tire trying to avoid him. While he is changing the tire, the Umpire sneaks up behind him and stabs him in the back, the blade protruding out of his stomach, by the homemade deadly baseball bat's retractable blade. He burns a number on the pizza guy's skin (What could that possibly mean? The numbers aren't in any discernible order.) and then uses the blowtorch to burn his face out of the team photo (by the looks of it, the Umpire has already claimed 6 victims). The problem is, none of the victim's bodies are ever found. Our four friends head out to the Coach's cabin, when they stop to play some miniature golf and hit some balls at a batting cage. Danny sees an old guy slapping a young boy behind a building and it triggers a flashback in Danny's mind, where Coach Fredricks (Michael Stansy) is yelling at a young Billy for not getting hit with a pitch and taking "one for the team". Seems like the Coach wasn't such a nice guy after all, especially to Billy. After the flashback, they get into their vehicle and head for the cabin, but someone is following them. Once at the cabin, all four of them see the same team photo that the Umpire is using to burn faces off and Alison has to remind Bobby that he gave her her first kiss there (Bobby doesn't seem to remember). It just happens to be Halloween. so the Umpire walking around in his get-up does not raise any flags. The Umpire's next victim is a housewife (and former 1981 Little League team member) handing out candy, when the Umpire bashes her head in with the bat, burns the number "04" on her chest and blow-torches her face off the team photo. The four friends drive to the Coach's gravesite to pay tribute to him, when they are stopped by a police officer and he ends up hauling Bobby's ass in jail for alleged drunk driving (The officer seems to know Bobby, but Bobby has no idea who he is). Danny walks back to the cabin, while Alison and Kyle find the Coach's grave (they first find a grave with the name "Anita Mint" engraved on it!), but someone has removed his corpse from the grave. Kyle blames Billy, but Alison says he should blame her (There is more to Billy's story that we haven't been told yet.). The guy that was following them enters the cabin carrying a shotgun, so Danny hides under one of the beds. The mysterious man makes a phone call to tell the person that hired him that they are not there right now, but "someone's gonna die", then hangs up the phone and leaves. Danny lights his way under the bed with a Bic, where he sees strange drawings in the underside of the bed, the same type of drawings we saw in Billy's institution room. This could be interpreted as a prime example of child abuse. Bobby is booked and is purposely put in a cell with a crazy person who tries to kill him. What does this officer have against him? Danny finds a bunch of chocolates in Alison's purse when no one returns by daytime and eats them all. When Alison and Kyle return to the cabin a short time later and Alison notices that all the chocolates have been eaten, she freaks out. She tells Kyle that they were "boomers", or chocolate-covered psychedelic mushrooms. A very high Danny cuts the chain to the shed and steals a four-wheeled ATV and goes for a psychedelic joyride. Kyle finds a gun in the truck's glove compartment. Danny has a freak-out scene, which trips another flashback, where he sees Kyle, Bobby and Alison shoving Billy behind the bleachers because he's not a good ballplayer, telling him once again he "screwed up". Is it possible that Billy was being bullied by the four people we have come to know and care about? Danny continues to trip-out and finds an old school bus in the woods, where he has hallucinations of people looking at him and saying he did nothing to stop them. Danny then actually runs into the Umpire and he tries to get away on the ATV, but he is so stoned, he clotheslines himself on a low-hanging tree branch and is knocked off the ATV. Danny hops on the ATV to try to escape again, but it's "Batter up!" as the Umpire beheads Danny with one swing of his bat's blade. The Umpire burns the number "14" on Danny's chest (it's at this time we learn that the numbers burned on the chests correspond with the numbers on their Little League uniforms) and burns his face off the team photo. Want to know what happens to the other three, who the mysterious stranger is and if Billy is actually the Umpire? Well, you'll have to buy the DVD or watch it streaming. Either way, its a unique little horror film about America's pasttime and the denouement comes as a complete surprise for a film that looks like it is going to be the usual DTV slasher film. It's very gory, Alison finally shows her boobs and the story has a satisfying conclusion that nearly everyone won't see coming. There are also other surprises revealed, especially about Kyle and who the mysterious stranger really is. As a matter of fact, there are no loose strings I can think of, one of the first times that has happened to me in a film in a long, long time. Directors/producers/screenwriters Drew Rosas (BLOOD JUNKIE - 2010; who was also the sound editor and has the role of the police officer who arrests Bobby) and Nick Sommer (his first directorial effort; he plays Kyle in the film with a lot of style) keeps the mystery coming and the blood flowing at a rapid pace and the gore goes way past what the MPAA would consider R-Rated. All I will tell you is that nearly everyone is not who they say they are and we learn what the chain pulley system is used for when Alison finds the underground room and accidentally trips it (it's not pretty). I believe that this is the best baseball-themed horror film I have ever seen and, even though it was made with a low budget, the story is high concept. This should please most horror film fans, especially those who were bullied when they were young. The killer's sacrifice at the film's end is especially poignant and there are no end credits stingers like most new DTV films. This is what most horror films should hope to achieve: Give you a good mystery to go along with the gory effects (and all of them here were physical). This is not your typical DTV horror film.
Amerikan Holokaust (2013)
Reprehensible
This is one of the most morally reprehensible films I have ever seen. And I've seen my share of reprehensible films. This film not only makes you feel dirty and want to take a shower after watching it, the misogyny in this film is beyond redemption. Don't take anything I say as a recommendation; although there will be some sickos out there that love SOV crap like this, where it is nothing but scene after scene of women being degraded and slaughtered; because, in reality, this film only exists to raise the shackles of everyone who watches it. The story, if you want to call it that, is a "found footage" video documentation of two Vietnam War veterans, Michael Mashburn - Jules Sceiro - and the older Antwan Mercer - Bob Glazier, torturing and killing women and one man because they blame the war for making them that way, which is an insult to every soldier who fought in any war. Their antics make the late David Hess' role of Krug in LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT - 1972, look like Mister Rogers, but at least Hess had some class. These two actors are not ashamed to speak some of the worst bile imaginable and Glazier, especially, likes to play with his junk in front of the camera, watching an old man shaking his junk around is one of the least insulting parts of this film, but it's still shows a lack of basic human decency. This atrocious, abominable piece of dog excrement was directed/co-produced/co-written/photographed by Chris Woods and co- produced/co-written by John Miller and, for all I know, they are nice guys, but this film makes them look like women-hating misogynists, sure, there's a five minute female revenge scene at the end, but it doesn't excuse the 71 minutes that comes before it. The film begins with an online scrawl that says what we are about to see are tapes found by the New Forge Police Department on Mashburn's property and goes on to say that what we are about to witness are some of the most violent, humiliating and repulsive manners that anyone has never seen before. No police department would ever release tapes like this to the public. Never. The opening scene is of a slightly overweight hooker in a red S&M leather mask being walked around like a dog with a dog collar and a leash, forcing her to undress Mercer naked, he shakes his junk in front of her masked face, and then she climbs on top of him to give him a back rub, but when Mercer is not satisfied, Mashburn shows up and strangles her. We the watch an hour's worth of the most despicable footage of two men torturing women ever committed to film. Mercer's junk becomes infected from a hooker they kidnapped, assaulted and killed when he didn't wear a condom, we get to see an extreme close-up of his infected junk. The film then comes full-circle, as the hooker we saw in the red S&M mask and dog collar in the beginning of the film is not actually dead. When Mercer tries to stick his junk in what he thinks is her dead mouth, she bites it off, duct-tapes him to a chair, slaps his face with his dismembered junk and then makes him eat it. She then shoves the sharp heel of her shoe into Mercer's junk-less testicles until he dies; once again, none of this is left to the imagination. Mashburn sees Mercer dead and he is knocked unconscious. The girl has him tied-up, pulls out his teeth with a pair of pliers, rips out his tongue and shoves a shotgun up his posterior; Shades of the finale of the 2010 remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. She pulls the trigger and we see that the blast has blown the back of Mashburn's head off. Rose then comes running through the door, knife in hand and the film goes to static. An end crawl explains that police found 22 bodies on Mashburn's property, along with the bodies of Mashburn and Mercer. Rose and the hooker were never found, their whereabouts unknown. After 76 ultra- horrible minutes, this endurance test disguised as a film ends. I must confess that several times I nearly broke my cardinal rule of never turning off a film I am reviewing, because this film is nothing but sadism for sadism's sake. But, I "soldiered" on; Get it?; and watched the whole despicable movie, but you will never see me reviewing a film made by Chris Woods or John Miller again. Besides there being enough of plot holes to fill up a book about Swiss cheese; Like: Who was holding the moving video camera while the hooker is jamming the shotgun into Mashburn's posterior? and the filmmakers being too "generous" with all the fake video drop-outs, distortion and static. Just a note to the filmmakers: When you turn off a video camera, the screen goes black, not all static. Static is what happens on TVs when there is no signal., this is the biggest piece of trash that I have ever laid my eyes on. But I think that is exactly what Chris Woods and John Miller were aiming for, to give their company some publicity. In that case they succeeded, but they also lost a lot of future potential buyers in the future, including me. Anyone who sees this film as entertainment should have their heads examined. Hell, they should be committed. This is the longest review I have written in quite a while, but this film should get all the damnation it deserves. Also starring Rue Goregrinder, Tara Caitlan, Kathleen O'Brien, Meghan Christine and Jeania Ingle. Something tells me that when these young women get married and have families, they will regret appearing in this film. An Icon Film Studios/The Sleaze Box DVD Release. Unrated.
Last Chance (1999)
Anything that Mr. Cranston does is different.
Bryan Cranston not only proves himself to be an excellent actor (have you noticed how he changes his looks in all the films and TV series he's done?), but now he also shows his directorial chops in an excellent, human story. There aren't many films that show this much emotion without being a sappy mess. I would recommend this film to anyone, even if it's not their type of film. It should get a wider release and have the success it deserves. Mr. Cranston should direct more films during his hiatus from Malcolm In The Middle.