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Reviews
The Princess and the Bodyguard (2022)
35 yr old Princess has to grow up
This movie is playing right now and so this review is fresh. Lexi (Alexia)is the only child of the King and Queen of (insert fake European country) has been living in New York (actually Ontario made to look like New York - but we aren't supposed to know this and so are pretending it's NY). Her parents arrive to announce she must return to fake European country and be ready to take on the role she was born into. Of course this does not sit well with Lexi, who can't even be bothered to dress up to meet her parents for lunch in a 5 star hotel wearing her denim jumpsuit with zipper in front. Lexi presents herself as an artsy-fartsy type who owns her own gallery/shop complete with poor manners. Her room-mate Chrissie (played by AnnaMaria Demara) is extremely annoying and acts far too overprotective of Lexi, like a jealous girlfriend, rather than a roommate. Also she needs a job since she quit her last one, but shows up at her first prospect in the ritzy 5 star hotel poorly dressed (a denim blazer - really?) and then has the nerve to ask if the apples (put out for hotel guests) are free, because she skipped breakfast. Not a great interview impression. She also fails at all her other interviews because she is too rude. She even disses a Fred Astaire and Gingee Rogers movie, complaining that it is too old fashioned (ummm...really? I'm no rocket scientist, but maybe the fact that it was produced in the 1940's might have something to do with it) Both these women are supposedly in their mid-thirties but act like immature twenty-year old college grads. The acting is really bad in this one, especially the one single reporter, who discovers Lexi's true identity and gets in her face but is blocked by Noah (played by Ryan Bruce) who is Lexi's bodyguard. Anyway fast forward to the end because the movie is all too predictable. Princess Lexi and the Bodyguard start falling for each other even as her parents (the King and Queen of the fake European country) are trying to set her up with bachelors of the upper crust - but Lexi finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her bodyguard. They have the usual misunderstanding and then of course profess their love for each other at the end and everyone is happy - even the jobless mooch of a roommate gets a job as some sort of royal lacky, which is strange since she absolutely detests royals in any shape or form, and even freaks out when she finds out Lexi is a Princess.
Love Strikes Twice (2021)
Love Love Love this Movie
My spouse is more the Hallmark fan than I am. But occasionally I come across a Hallmark I really enjoy. This is one of them. The premise is fresh and I personally enjoy do-over time travelling movies. Like the geeky brother, I am also a nerdy xbox and sci-fi fan. In fact I loved the family dynamic between brother and sister, the comedic timing was spot on, and for once they actually looked like they could be siblings. The best part of the movie was the golf club break-in - I enjoyed every bit of it. The suspense, the disguises, the plot, the quick on-your-feet dialogue, and tbe music was perfect for the well-timed escapade. The ending was great too, having saved the library, as well as saving her brother by generating his confidence, and saving her father from a life time of back problems by removing the rickety old ladder, and saving her own marriage in the future, it made for a fantastic story all around.
A Very Corgi Christmas (2019)
Poor pooped out Puppy
I tried watching this as the premise sounded good - man hoping to surprise child with a puppy at Christmas and has potential love-interest look after the pup. It was just ok. I was more upset with how they were treating a live puppy actually, you could see in some scenes (just prior to the christmas bake scene) the poor pup was yawning and wanted to sleep - pretty sure it was missing its mum and/or litter mates. He then perks up when they finally give the little pup some food, poor thing wolfed it down. These observances tell me that A/ the film shooting was far too long for the pup - B/ the poor pooch was literally starved on set before they finally fed him in a few scenes - C/ nobody seemed concerned of the dog's welfare as they dragged it behind them on a leash while walking down the street. Honestly, I was very much alarmed watching this cute puppy being mishandled for the sake of a movie. Give this one a pass.
A Royal Runaway Romance (2022)
Can't stop stuffing her face
The movie was not one of Hallmark's finest. Princess falls in love with the painter hired to paint her royal portrait. He seems like a shifty fellow from the get-go so one can only assume there are not a lot of choices in Bundbury (who the heck makes up these corny sovereign country names anyway?). So she cons her mother the Queen to visit her uncle in the US. At his Hollywood home, which sort of looks like a Fairmont or a Hilton. Our dear Princess Amelia has a hidden agenda to secretly visit this American shifty painter she is so in love with. Therefore she packs the smallest suitcase she can find with assorted dresses. (I don't know much about royalty but I would probably expect at least 3 suitcases or at least a very large one, not a carry-on.) Carry-on in hand she arrives at her Uncle's hotel (oops - mansion). It is there she is introduced to her bodyguard (Brent Daugherty) who sticks to her like glue guarding Bundbury's most important asset. The two are thrown together on a roadtrip across America, choosing a '67 Mustang instead of the very comfortable Mercedes SUV. We soon learn that Princess Amelia has a voracious appetite, as she eats her way to Chicago, stuffing her face with, an "American breakfast," hotdogs, smores, corn on the cob, hamburgers, chile, everything and anything, nothing is safe. On top of stuffing her face, she talks with her mouthful (guess there are no ettiquette coaches in Bundbury) and then she pulls an Imogene Poots (Need for Speed) and imitates the waitress in her new-found American accent "Y'all / Fixn's" thinking she's quite clever to pick up the local lingo. Once she gets to Chicago she meets up with the shifty painter (who for some reason only paints portraits with no background or other stuff) and clearly he is only interested in having her at his art-show to promote himself. She then realizes she had more in common with the bodyguard - the same bodyguard who left her in the middle of Chicago without so much as a passport. She somehow manages to navigate her way back from Chicago to Nebraska and magically ends up at his parent's ranch, where they are having a BBQ party. Everyone is there, except the bodyguard, who has decided he'd rather go trail-riding than be at his parent's party. She catches up with him and the rest is Hallmark history, as they confess their undying love and share a Hallmark kiss. The End.