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Reviews
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)
Wow.
If you like pandering, cheap cgi... no this isn't for anyone. This is an awful film, start to finish. TERRIBLE acting and somehow even worse voice acting. Similar plot as the one with the the robot with his stunads hanging out... Who was this made for? Definitely not fans of the show, not kids, not for the popcorn crowd. Skip this at all costs. Weak trying to pull in the 90's rap to pander harder. The "main" actor is just terrible. The subplot (aka the actual Transformers) is tired and been done on numerous occasions. The Transformers are only in name only, nothing resembling their real personas. Again, skip this one. Let it go away. This was made for reviewers on youtube who get free stuff. If you like this... watch the 80's film to see how it really is done.
Eternals (2021)
Ok
Hey, the acting was bleh, the cgi was awful and the plot made for 3rd graders with head injuries... But any film starring Daniel Carillo gets a thumbs up from me! If you hate your brain but wanna see Carbomb on the big screen you gotta check this out. Jon Voight's daughter has a role in it, she never mentions the Lebaron either. This movie will have you thinking about every thing else, Game of Thrones included to not focus on this tard fest. It is bad to the "Why, why did I watch this" levels of pain. If you enjoy falling down stairs, this is for you... otherwise, read the cast and place them mentally in better films.
Men in Black: International (2019)
Bad... and not in a good way
Im glad I get "insider seats" to most major films because if I would have paid for this film, I would 100% want my money back. I gave it 2 stars as I am personally trying not to be negative but man o man was this one really pushing it. Such a waste of money and talent. Liam was wasted and the chemistry Chris and Tessa have was vastly exaggerated. One would think that another Hemsworth film that was a sequel to a Will Smith movie would be a red flag enough, yet here we are...
Long Story short, No Smith, no Jones equals MIB in name only.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
For fans of the King!
First off, if you listen to critics you should just stick to watching Seasme Street and eating cherrios... with that out of the way, this is a really fun film. It has found the balance between the monsters and humans and is a fun popcorn ride.
Minor Spoilers:
Ghidorah is a evil creature of legends that "fell from the sky" which sticks with the Godzilla mythos. They upgrade all the monsters, especially Ghidorah and Mothra. Rodan's lava effects are a very welcome addition as well.
The mom goes "woke" but sees her errors and has a decent character arc. Lastly the scene with Ken Wantabe's character and Godzilla was a nice way to start off the final act.
This is a fun film and it does not disappoint. Again, the critics are wrong as always so ignore them.
All hail to the King Baby
Shazam! (2019)
Tsk Tsk
Coming off of Wonder Woman and Aquaman, I was hoping this was going to be good... it was meh. Generic and gets boring... minor "woke" bs here and there doesn't help the movie. The anyone can be Shazam part was weak as well...
Wait to stream or if it comes on cable
Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018)
This isnt funny
This is horrible. It is stand up tragedy, not comedy. This is just plain terrible and a virtue signaling "special". No one really likes this, they just say they do to try to look and feel better about themselves. I cancelled my netflix subscription due to this and the other terrible "comedy" specials they are forcing on the world. With hundreds of actual talented comics, this tragedy gets its 15 minutes and this "comic" rants about men (probably out of jealousy) and people get all jazz handed.
Skip this. This is about as intellectual as a gold fish swimming around its bowl. For shame netflix, for shame.
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Good, just not great
The tech side of this film is stunning. The acting is top notch but the story is convoluted... yes even for a comic book film....
SPOILERS AHEAD
killing black widow was the biggest risk this film took. Capt turning into the wielder of Thor's hammer was cool but predictable as was the demise of Tony. Hulk being soy hulk was annoying but definitely not a deal breaker and seeing some old favs was cool.
Biggest problem was it felt like I could see what was going to happen 45 minutes before it did (with black widows death being the exception... I thought it would be Clint). I enjoyed to over the top end battle with a few exceptions... the femvengers being jammed throats was cringy as heck (I realize Disney pushes cultural marxism but that was pure cringe)... we love the characters for who they are, not gender. With that said, Iron pepper had my eyes rolling to the point I saw my feeble little mammal brain and inside of my nose...
Good points: Tony dying and Capt (America, not the gender studies) getting to grow old. Not all endings need to be happy was something I truly agree within this film. Now I can put the MCU to rest for good... not great but good.
P.S. seeing Thanos blast carol danvers to space was oddly satisfying
Bumblebee (2018)
Well...
This film makes the same mistake as all live action Transformers live action films makes... It revolves around kids and humans. That is the worst parts of this film in particular. I grew up with the Transformers G1 and seeing them in their live action cgi was glorious! If only we could get a film like the first five minutes!
Spoilers: The movie is basical a girl who is having a hard time dealing with her father's death. There is a diveristy check mark neighbor who is shy and useless. She works through her diving fear at the end (there was a pointless scene where she gets scared and can't dive... yawn). Did I mention this takes place in the 80's? Well the movie will remind you every 4 to 5 minutes or so in case you forget.
The scenes with the Transformers on Cybertron were the best parts. Soundwave releasing Ravage and Shockwave in action... Starscream and the seekers... amazing! But when they are on Earth, yawn. John Cena was actually very good in this, that was a major plus.
Overall, I wanted more Transformers in a live action Transformer film, yet was stuck with faux 80's teens. There will be a sequel (hopefully about Optimus Prime) and hopefully we will actually get Transformers. Not a bad film, good for kids
Aquaman (2018)
Fun ride!
Where do I start.... The Aquaman is a fun movie that DC actually got right. I do not want to spoil anything plot wise at all but this is a good one. Hopefully they can build off of this and Wonder Woman to build a better DC universe. Jango Fett was great as Abin Sur, err papa Aquaman and Jason Mamoa is the perfect choice to bring this character to life!
One minor spoiler: Release the Kraken!
Venom (2018)
Was ok start for the Spiderverse
Tom Hardy is acting circles around this B class of actors. Riz Ahmed never needs to be in a film again... ever... With that out of the way it was a fun pop corn flick. It didn't get all SJW at all and is a decent foundation for the start of something bigger. The cgi isn't bad at all (hard to find a decnet alien symbiote actor these days anyway). The bad part is the slow start but once it starts going, it goes. Michelle Williams is fine and the evil agent does he job as nameless thug #1.
Again, if you go in with limited or no expectations, you will enjoy this film. And lastly, stop casting ahmed at all... he is not good in anything...
The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)
Still better than than "The Last Jedi"
Just a sham, save your time.... stay away from this nightmare. Terrible is too nice of a word but not as bad as the last jedi
Streets of Fire (1984)
Sequel?
Please part 2! Lets crowd fund this! As soon as possible!
Rampage (2018)
What you see is what you get
Summer film, perfect for date night or to just have a movie night. I do not, for the life of me, understand why people bash films like these. The Rock is fun and likeable and the plot is simple and cheesy... Cons: Plot was simple and predictable. Pros: Plot was simple and predictable. Maybe Rian Johnson can learn a thing or two. Fun for kids, George is fun but Lizzy is my all time favorite. Not a bad film at all
The Jerky Boys (1995)
This is wacky, poorly acted, trashy but Hilarious
If you take yourself too serious then skip this. If you like to laugh and watch a solid B film, give this a shot. Yes the audio from my younger days was great but this is pretty funny. Give it shot... Stupid fun to laugh at jerky
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Meh
This movie is just a build up to another sequel. Positives: It is well acted, CGI is top notch and Dinosaurs
Negatives: tries to be preachy, predictable (Blue is the hero) and just meh. Underwhelming but Chris Pratt is great. Good for teens and people who like pop corn flicks.
And Jeff Goldblum is wasted except for saying "Welcome to Jurassic World!"
Save your cash, watch at home
Ocean's Eight (2018)
I got free tickets and want my money back
Cash grab, boring story, clip your nails as that would be a better way of spending your time. Yawn, bore... next please
The Disaster Artist (2017)
Oh Hi Mark
I want to hate James Franco so bad but dammit the man is gold! He is spectacular as Tommy in this biopic and it is a fun ride! The way Franco plays Tommy makes you love him and want to hang with him (until you actually see him ha!) This is why I spend two hours of my life and love art! A must see!
I, Tonya (2017)
I loved this movie
I won't (can't) spoil this film but it is amazing. Margot Robbie is an amazing actor! The way it has fun breaking down this Olympic drama is the best part. Sebastian Stan is earning serious points with me and I want to see him become a hollyweird power house. Cannot recommend this film enough! (And not because me and Margot share same Bday!)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
A must, must see!
This movie is fantastic, start to finish. Shame on anyone who hasn't see this film. What in the wild wild world of sports are you waiting for! 20/10!
Street Fighter (1994)
Not as bad as people make it out to be
If you love Street Fighter, this movie is for you. Raul Julia is fun in this film and gives some hilariously quotable lines... "For me, it was Tuesday..." Watch it as a 90's comedy and don't take it serious. It is a fun film.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Best Star Wars film since The Last Jedi
SPOILER: This movie was a waste... where to begin. The SJW BLM droid? Lando was horrible, Enfys Nest is a kid... Darth Maul... wow...
Positives: Chewbacca... and it wasn't the last jedi. Stay home. Spend the money you would on this film on shoe laces or tacos... Hey Lucasfilm, are you guys making the films bad on purpose or is Kennedy this incompetent? This was an embarrassment but not last jedi bad
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
This is why we watch movies
This is my all time favorite movie. The sense of wonder, fear, anticipation and excitment in this piece of art is amazing. I highly recommend for kids and for people who lost that feeling of what it is to be young and curious about life. 1000 out of 10, cannot say enough about this masterpiece!
Cobra Kai (2018)
What are you waiting for?!
Sweep the leg! Johnny is the best. You know how all the losers and weirdos want a character to represent them in a movie/series? That is Johnny Lawrence to me. Stop, right now... go to Youtube and watch this! No Mercy!!! 10000 Stars!
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Why?!
Why? Why? Why? What did we do to deserve this? This is just a up yours to the fans... Do not see this movie unless you like plot holes and disappointment
*Edit** I am a born and raised New York City Resident, NOT A Russian bot
Deadpool 2 (2018)
Meh... ****SPOILERS****
I was psyched for Deadpool 2 but what I got was deadpool 2:SJW. I get they were trying to tongue in cheek but the pandering really kept taking me out of the movie. For a rated R movie it sure does toooo much pandering. Josh Brolin as Cable is a homerun! Morena is awesome as always but the waste of characters got old fast also. Juggernut was wasted as was shatterstar and the rest were lack luster and easy to forget... sadly yes even our trailer fodder Peter (except for end credits) The use of the Essex house and no Mr. Sinister was a shame. The rest of the film was trying to capitolize on the black pather crowd but this was a swing and a miss. It is not terrible, just save your $$ and wait til it is streamable. (Not as bad as the last jedi by any stretch). They missed a major chance to build a deadpool universe (his non SJW jokes were good, especially the ones directed at Brolin)... Im yammering on, I apologize but wait on this one