Reviews

My favourite film.

All I want to say is WATCH IT. If I tell you anything It will ruin the experience for you. The best thing to do is go into the film blind and you are guaranteed to enjoy it.

Although its not for the squeamish.

Now to get that 10 lines. how much wood would a wood chuck, chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood?

A wood chuck would chuck as much would as a would chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck would. TA DA!

Apparently this is still not enough lines to get my 'review posted. More lines. Grasp a rasp and a rasp will grasp the the only task you have.

*This may spoil your experience if you really want to see the film.*

Jumper was a boring film with little story. Basically it tells the viewer what would happen if you gave a selfish, American undeveloped teen super powers. You would get super t**t (and most probably super t**t the sequel).

The film opens with a dialogue on what the super hero has done this morning. Not only was it unfitting but it was indeed incredibly annoying. The actor who played David (Hayden Christensen. Yes, he was from Star Wars) could have been rivalled in acting talents by a baked potato. No offence to the guy, but I truly and honestly didn't care if his character were to die.

These days you would expect super hero films to enter the realms of a Gothic and dark city, or even a utopia with not so obvious faults which the protagonist sees. This film opens no new doors (except that of hatred within me). I found my self more interested in the young girl (Hayden Christensen) that David was trying so hard to protect rather than what little of a story there actually was.

That's what disappointed me the most. There was no story, no structure. I wasn't even particularly looking forward to the film. So there was no hype, I was disappointed by a film that had the chance to baffle me with awe. But nope, not at all. The only thing I was looking forward to, and what dragged me to the cinema was the fact that Samuel L Jackson was in it. Yes, he looked super cool, yes he did some kick ass stuff, yes he had the BEST hair (and this is what you would expect from the master himself). BUT they gave him no back story, no reason to hate or like him. They were all dislike-able characters.

The fact that this was a fast pace film complimented it in no way. There was no story to hold it back, so it didn't last long and there is no reason to call it short and sweet, but rather "I'm glad that was only a short waste of time." Okay, that was a little harsh. But in all honesty that is what I thought afterwards.

Actually I didn't hate the film as much as I come across to. The CGI was visually stunning; the landscapes were also pretty to look at and added to the little atmosphere it created. (Which is a horrible thing to say when it was directed by Doug Liman). They did do a pretty well choreographed fight scene between two Jumpers (but God, that sound ridicules).

Still, it was all too 2 dimensional... I'm not sure how much more I'm going to elaborate this point. You need likable characters or at least have a back-story to make it all the more believable. Or you end up not caring weather the character is shot, stabbed, hit or electrocuted. It just makes you giggle a little in the cinema (oops).

Take Man on Fire for example, Creasy (Denzel Washington) a brilliant wonderful display of character, torn by the horrors of war. Absolutely amazing acting by Denzel; which made you care for the character. Jumper lacks this in every way.

As I don't want to give away too much of the story, (which you could pretty much guess from the advert) I'm going to take you to the end. It was sudden, you didn't expect it, When it ended you realised how short the film was and how much you've been ripped. Just before the point it ended I was thinking, "This is where it's going to get good." NO, don't try to leave me with a happy tingling in my belly; I don't like the characters. I want them all horribly mutilated in a car accident so that David could become a hardened bad-ass son of a bitch. Cause it left it open for another movie. I want to slap whatever bastard said "hay you guys, lets leave it on a poorly written cliff hanger so that the protagonist is happy. It will make our views feel all gooey" because your wrong, it made me feel all peed off (Yeah, thats what I wanted to say).

All in all (in conclusion, I found that) The film is something to grin and bear if you want to entertain your little brother. Cause he doesn't care about plot, or characters, he wants to fantasise about tolerating and kicking Samuel L Jackson's ass (Which will never ever happen… ever) So see it if you like mindless fantasy that will only entertain a child, but if you are like me and want to think "Jesus that confused the hell out of me, lets think it through" Then don't bother, for you sanity, leave it alone.

I have always been into the Metal Gear Solid series, just recently playing one once again. And no matter what, no matter how many times I play it just continues to amaze me. I hadn't played it in about 5 years, and yesterday played Special Missions followed by the actual game.

Even after playing 2 and 3 I still think it surpasses both of them plot wise. Game play wise... well its on the PS1, game play is bound to get better. And I don't want t ruin any of the plot for you .

So this brings me to the remake. It was a Tactical Espianage action, it was turned into a fantasy action. Front flips, back flips, side flips, I know snake is a genetically modified clone, but this is insanity. The story, in my eyes, was ruined by the acrobatics of the cut scenes. It took your mind away from being able to empathise with Snakes persona. I think that Twin Snakes was a failure as a remake, it was built for the sole purpose of getting vast amounts of violence and flips into the game and that ruined it.

But still the best game in the series has to be number 1.