...I was subjected to both as-of-yet episodes at Dallas Fan Fest 2015. The acting was atrocious and the writing was dismal. I guess I can be more specific. The acting was so bad my son turned to me and said, "Where'd they get these actors? Dallas Community College drama department?" Lines were delivered with all the grace of a hippopotamus driving a Mini. The lead actor aka The Soldier was especially bad. Often times his facial expressions betrayed the emotions he should have portrayed in addition to his lines being delivered with all the skill of and epileptic with Tourette's. Of course, the predictable and cheesy writing did not help. The story seemed it could have been written in a 7th grade English class. On the up side, the production values and effects were pretty decent for a fan film. The only reason I gave it two stars rather than one is for the obvious effort and time obviously put into it.
Reviews
13 Reviews
Pulp Fiction
(1994)
One word describes this movie...
21 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
...and that word is "overrated." As with the other Tarantino movies, Pulp Fiction is a douchey movie made for 20-something douche-bags. Like the rest of Tarantino's films this is pure Pop Culture garbage. The opening scene features two of the worst actors in the history of cinema: John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson. Several of the cast members do a respectable job despite the drivel they were given to spout. The story is just ridiculous and seems like it was written by a twelve-year-old. There are many, many mistakes in the filming of this garbage excuse for a movie, just check the "mistakes" and "goofs" section of the movies main IMDb page.
The Whisperer in Darkness
(2011)
Fairly Good Adaptation
23 March 2013
This adaptation of the classic H.P. Lovecraft story had a lot of potential, however weak acting limited the enjoyment factor to me. A lot of the players were just plain poor actors or were guilty of blatant over acting to include the narration. The supporting players were much better actors than the main players which was a bit frustrating. The cinematography and sound was great. The music was effectively used in creating the right feel for the film. Presenting the film in black and white was very effective in adding to the noir and 1930s feel. I don't want to go into any further details as I don't want to give any of the story away to those who may be unfamiliar.
Wedding Band
(2012–2013)
Not very good
27 November 2012
The first thing I'd like to note is that the official TBS storyline says "Centers on the bromance of four likable but occasionally reckless young men..." Um, since when is a 39-year-old man considered a "young" man? That's right Brian Austin Green is every bit of 39 and looks like it no matter how much makeup they put on him. I find it hard to believe that he's supposed to be the stud of the group. He definitely fits as the douche bag of the band. Secondly, the show would actually be more enjoyable without Green's wooden acting. He looks like a giant, ugly puppet on the show. Perhaps he went to the Kevin Costner/Samuel L. Jackson School of Non-Acting. The rest of the cast seem likable enough and don't look 40.
Act of Valor
(2012)
Here's the deal...
12 July 2012
First of all I would like to point out that "Based on actual events" does not mean "True Story." Sure elements of this movie are based on some actual SpecOps missions, however they have been greatly dramatized to add the action movie element to make the movie more exciting. Real Navy SEALs or not, this movie is nothing more than a propaganda tool made to look like a video game in order to appeal to the 20-something Call of Duty generation. As a retired military member with SpecOps experience I laughed through most of this movie's cheesiness and clichés. As an action movie it is only so-so. As a recruiting tool it may make it's mark.
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
(2007–2017)
Why?
15 May 2012
Why would any network ever broadcast this abysmal pile of putrid slime. This show is insulting to every sense...yes, even smell and touch. This show stinks so bad that you can smell it through the TV and the thought of it makes my skin crawl. The skits presented on this so called comedy are so bad I fell dumber every time I watch one. The "humor" presented absolutely unfunny and would only appeal to the most childish or the stoned. Perhaps the fact that I have an I.Q. over 40 is preventing me from enjoying the absolute ignorance of this obnoxious, ridiculous and sad program. I don't know how much more I can convey the stupidity presented in the 10 line minimum.
Drop Dead Diva
(2009–2014)
Garbage
12 July 2011
Fox has put on some really bad shows on the air, so it passing on a pilot should tell you something. That's what happened to this piece of trash. In fairness, the problem with this show is probably the excruciating level of annoyance I feel for the lead character/actress. I'm not a violent person but something about this woman makes me want to punch her in the throat. I don't know what it is but I really don't like this woman. I don't know if it's how she delivers her lines or perhaps she's just one of those chubbos who think they're hot. I can't exactly put my finger on it. Some people like to watch fat, annoying women. If you're one, then you'll probably like this show.
Haunted Collector
(2011– )
Why?
15 June 2011
Why do they keep making these ridiculous "ghost hunting" shows? Have any of these shows ever found any real evidence of a ghost? They instead choose to over-dramatize things that happen just off camera or that the viewer has no way of knowing if the actors really experienced the event. The "scariest" part of these programs is the music and sound effects added to give them an eerie or spooky feeling. It's also odd how none of the events described by the people who work, live in, or visit these places are ever occurring when these so-called paranormal investigators are there. More ghost shows? No thanks. ***********this is added so that it will have the minimum of ten lines of text**********
Spartacus
(2010–2013)
Riding the popularity of 300
18 February 2011
Warning: Spoilers
1st of all: DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH THIS VIOLENCE, SEX, AND NUDITY FILLED SPECTACLE. Friends and relatives told me that this was an awesome series. Like a fool, I believed the hype. Soon into the first episode, I realized that this was going to be 300 ripoff. With its over-stylized fight scenes,the obvious green screen shots, and the general look this series totally lends itself to 300. The way the violence and injuries are depicted is totally ridiculous. As an example, one gladiator in the first episode gets both of his legs cut off no blood is flowing from his nubs as he crawls away. Of course these gladiators still have all of their teeth after being pommeled and kicked in the face and mouth. Why is it that these Hollywood writers, producers, and directors expect us to believe that ancient Roman and Greek warriors went into battle nearly naked? A disclaimer at the beginning of each episode states that is a "historical" depiction of ancient Roman society. The only think historical about it is that there was an ancient Roman empire, they had a Colosseum and gladiators fought there, and some of the characters bear the names of real figures.
100 Questions
(2010)
More like One Question
12 June 2010
100 Questions? I have but one...why? Are the networks so desperate that they have to put on crap like this? Okay, I guess that's two questions. This show is a formulaic Friends rip-off that is Obviously NBC's effort to recapture their glory days. The acting is stiff and stale. The characters are retreads of every sitcom twenty-something ever devised. Let me breaking down like this: Jill (the vapid blond)= Phoebe from Friends or Chrissy from Three's company; Leslie (materialistic, spoiled chick)=Friend's Rachel; Wayne (ladies man)=Joey; Mike (nervous, unlucky at love professional)=Chandler/Ross amalgam; Charlotte (level headed brunette)=Monica. The rip off characters are acted so poorly that I had a hard time sitting through this show. I figured I would give it a chance and try it again. My 12 year old watched it with me and literally asked the question, "Is this supposed to be Friends?"
Burn Notice
(2007–2013)
What is the Appeal?
16 May 2010
I've tried to watch this show several times, and I just can't get through an entire episode. For starters, this show is just boring. Secondly, the star, Jeffrey Donovan, is not a very good actor. He is incapable of changing emotions. He must of been a graduate of the Kevin Costner School of Bad Acting. No inflection to his voice and no visual clues to what emotion his character is feeling. And what's with his slack-jaw, "my mouth is always open" thing he's got going on? Does he hang out with that other no talent, mouth breather Puff Daddy? And Gabriel Anwar? They must of rescued her from the eating disorder clinic because she's just the skeleton of who she used to be. Unattractive. I guess a bulimic and a mouth breather supposedly make a good pair. Of course we know that Bruce Campbell is the comic side-kick. I can't believe he came back for more seasons of this dreadful, bore fest. He must really be in desperate need of money.
Orphan
(2009)
Skip this crap
3 November 2009
One phrase can sum up my feelings or this movie: Skip this crappy, uneventful piece of cinematic abortion. Two hours of my life I won't get back. If my son hadn't paid for my ticket I would've walked out. As a matter of fact, I went to the lobby to go to the restroom about three quarters of the way into this snooze fest and actually debated whether to go back in. I have an idea, let's have a two hour movie where nothing happens for the first hour and fifty minutes. Oh wait, they already made that movie and it is called "Orphan." So much potential, so little deliverance. Don't even rent this thing, just watch the trailer if you want to see this movie.
What Happens in Vegas
(2008)
Bad acting=Bad movie
20 April 2009
Horrible movie with bad acting. The premise had potential, but the actors crushed it like that skunk that stinks so bad on the side of the road. The supporting players, Lake Bell (who over shadows Cameron Diaz) and Rob Corddry (who's a lot funnier than Ashton Kutcher), are better actors than the so-called stars. Is it just me or does Cameron Diaz look more like the Joker from Batman every year. How does this ugly,untalented Harpie still get acting jobs? Is there another actress in Hollywood who's more annoying?Don't get me started on Ashton "Script Butcher" Kutcher. When will this obnoxious clown's fifteen minutes of fame be over.
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