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It Follows (2014)
Truly scary, just like a horrible sex disease.
It Follows after sex. It comes to get you, slowly but surely and silently. Pass it on to another person through sex. If it kills them, it'll come back for you. To survive this demon, just pass it on through sex and infect the next person and so on... But one can never be truly rid of this sexually transmitted demon. But i guess there's always prevention: Condoms (which are never really ever mentioned nor seen as props in movies - unless it's played for laughs).
Why is that? Such as shame that we don't see the girl and guy, after meeting for the first time, making out passionately and knocking things over in their haste for lust. Then the guy pauses to rip open a rubber and the girl smiles as his condom filled hand disappears downwards, and then the lovemaking begins. It would take 5-10 seconds to show that very important step when it comes to sex, because obviously the characters in this movie didn't use protection and now have a sex disease demon following then around. "I'm sorry i can't explain what it is, it's better if i just show you...it's a little bit red.." *drops trou*5min and squeaky bedsprings later* "It Follows you now!"
So remember, use condoms and wash yourselves with water before and after. Protect yourself and everyone from sexually transmitted disease demons.
Tron: Uprising (2012)
Tron Uprising: Set after the events of the first movie, and just before Tron Legacy.
Tron Uprising is about a boy who decides to stand up against tyranny, but to do so he must wear a mask and fight from the shadows. Tron, who was the old hero, is the mentor for the boy. People around him are captured and killed by the oppressive military government, so he has to step up and learn to be the new Tron and save the city and it's people. There's a new race of people out there, and the survivors of their genocide need the help of Tron and the Renegade. They must rally all the support to rise up against the evil dictatorship before they amass an unstoppable army to lay waste to the world beyond the portal... The Real World of the Creator.
Brue Boxleitner returns as Tron, Elijah Wood as Beck (the Renegade), and Jeff Bridges as Clu. Soundtrack by members of Daft Punk.
All the social issues you know and love are here: Heroes and just causes, power struggles, Racial diversity, immigration and refugee deportation, genocide, personal identity issues, military coups, socialist-dictatorship government, friendzone love triangles, lone ranger turned freedom fighter with daddy issues.. it's all there all set inside the Tron universe. In fact, it's set completely inside the Tron Operating System. Therefore the colours, character design, and the way they communicate with each other matches that of "what would it look like if inside the computer was like an electric city with electric people as a tv show spread over 20 episodes, but without the needy justice pandering?"
The character design is amazing, fight sequences are great and fun to watch. It just looks really cool and amazing, so settle in, there's so much content packed in each 22min episode. It's pretty dark and has plenty of adult jokes and themes thrown in, but disney have always had that in their show. Not really for kinds under 10, with all the violence. At least all the gore has been pixelated!
The Terror (2018)
The Terror Season 1 - Perfect and captivating. ...Season 2 - unrelated.
I was intrigued by the title "The Terror- Season 1". Is it a horror story, a thriller, some sort of lost voyage of monsters? So i started to watch and found that - holy xbox controller - it's actually perfectly acted and as evenly paced as you could hope for. I found myself binging without noticing. It is truly captivating.
When i found that season 2 was out i searched but became confused. It seems that AMC decided to release a different show but with the same name calling it The Terror Infamy - Season 2. The only connection i can see is the terror is what the characters feel when confronted with the monster in the darkness.
Im yet to see S02 but not in a rush as it seems its doesn't continue from S01, so this review is only about s01, the real "The Terror".
It's about a captain of a ship "The Terror" and his commander sailing another ship, two state of the art British Navy tall ships searching for north-west passage across the arctic. They become stuck in the ice and set out on foot. As winter sets in, so does the suspense, and the hopeless realization that there's no coming back. Is something stalking our heroes from the shadows? Paranoia, mistrust, betrayal, desperation as hunger for survival is the only thing that drives them on..
It is set in 1848, and the costumers, set design, script, even the way the actors communicate and curse each other, is spot on for the time period. There are no cliches, no token woke character issues. The characters are not modern characters thrown into a 1800s sea-faring adventure, no, the time period is set in and around 1848 and the actors performances really shows that their characters were born 1800-1840.
I highly recommend season 1 of the Terror for some thoroughly entertaining and captivating viewing.
Await Further Instructions (2018)
The TV Monster Demands Your Attention!
A family in a house after a Christmas dinner, wake up the next morning trapped inside. The only connection to the outside world is through the TV, which give commands to the people to follow or one will die.
It's a bit sci-fi, a bit family crazy violent drama, but more of an allegory to how we are so consumed and addicted to TV (thus the internet), that we'll kill each other over it, almost as if it is literally an alien monster controlling us through the TV, for all the likes.
The movie got some craziness, a few boring parts, but a nice surprise twist ending you probably predicted.
But this most important take-away is whether or not you know how to scrub your own damn balls with bleach. Interesting enough movie to put on while you're being mind-controlled by your iPhone Monster.
The Outpost (2018)
Set 1000 years in the future, A good show to get into, if only just for eyebrows guy!
Spoilers but not really, only just the set up of the world of The Outpost.
The first episode is a bit tacky but it gets better. Cleavage is increased very much in season 2. It has the production values and fight scenes equivalent of a poor man's 100, and a "late-to-the-party" cousin of Shannara Chronicles, but don't let that sway you. The story and world building is very intricate in good way. It has some decent ok sword fights, great costumes and set design.
It appears to be set in the future, by several hundred years or at least 1000, but the only clues we have are left over remains of Hoover Dam and an old-timey type hand drawn map.
Over time, somehow, technology was lost, and humanity reverted to swords and arrows. The only ones that have magic (technology) are the elves (computer geeks and technology people fused with their phones and wifi evolved into pointy-eared black blooded elves).
These elves, called Blackbloods (similar to 100's commanders with the black blood from the injected AI serum), can summon demons from a portal world of ash and time displacement. These demons must obey the commands given by their master. Almost like a personal terminator and the portal is to the past or future, but because robotics - let alone electricity - is a foriegn concept, they appear as demons to the people in the Realm, referring to the North American continent.
Also has mutants, called Greyskins roaming about - similar to Fallout's supermutants. And has vampire-zombies similar to the Strain. And the moon is scarred red, like in the Time Machine. Really pay close attention to all these little details and it will start to make sense.
The last of the Blackbloods makes it her life mission to take revenge on the Order of the Bones for killing her entire village. Her quest leads her to a remote military outpost where she is thrust into the middle of a royal throne scandal, under threat by the Covenant overlords ruled by a 3 headed dragon disguised as the Three, 3 powerful rulers using magic to control the people (and probably suppress technology), while she searches to discover her past and where she comes from.
In the first episode, she meets the friend-zoned love interest: The Eyebrow King! He's like a funny hunchback of notre damn scientist.
This show really has everything and can be part of virtually any other fiction universe, 100, terminator, schannarra chrunickles, pinapple express, frozen, King Arther; but a very compelling fantasy that is easy to watch with the whole family. It's not original, but very fun to watch. It is set in an alturnate fantasy universe or maybe the outpost is the end result of all these other shows.
Pay close attention when we first meet the bartender in episode 1, those eyebrows are alive! Season 2 starts a little slow but picks up by episode 3 and there is so so much more cleavage!
Playmobil: The Movie (2019)
Waiting for the Unrated Directors Cut version of this fun movie!
Initially i thought it would just be a Lego Movie knock off using Playmobil, but actually it's its' own movie. It's a real movie, but in the Playmobil universe, believing they're real characters. That much was obvious from the trailer, which basically shows the whole movie.
But really, it's just a fun movie. What happens when you take A Clockwork Orange, Jurrasic Park, Rush Hour, and Terminator, Care Bears on Wonderland, Matrix Reloaded, and Chappie, make into one movie and use Playmobil (the real world Lego toys knock-off) in place of the characters? A really fun family movie.
It keeps you guessing right up to the kinder surprise twist ending and thinking long after it finishes, like a psychological mind thriller:
Do the creators use actual Playmobil blocks, or it is all just computer generated?
The Flood (2019)
Not a disaster movie. Movie ruins other future movies about actual water floods called "Flood".
I wen into the cinema knowing nothing about the movie except the title and actors. Cool, Lena Heady from GoT, in a new movie called THE FLOOD. I was so in.
BUT then i realized that this movie, "The Flood", has nothing to do with a flood. It is not a disaster movie! it becomes just political nonsense about immigration or some such.
What a waste of good "green tea".
perfomances were probably good, but not what i wanted to see.
See (2019)
Dystopian blind society, 500 years into the future. Watch See twice.
Long after humanity perished, only a few million remain scattered around the globe. The ones that survived are blind, giving birth to blind offspring for centuries. How do they continue to live without sight? By learning and teaching and strengthening their other senses. A culture developes over hundreds of years based on sound, smell, and touch. Most of them die, but only the strongest survive to teach the next generation. They use religion of the remaining old world tech to control people in the city-states, and talk of sight is forbidden and heresy, and uses a form of morse code knots in threads to send messages.
Then one day, months after a stranger passes through, twin babies are born that can see: Black people.
Yes, in this blind culture world set in the ancient ruins of america, only black descendants have sight, but not that skin colour matters. They use sound and smell and touch to recognise people and determine their relative position. Think sound waves bouncing back creating a picture of sorts (a la Daredevil).
I was watching closely for any slip-ups but there were none. Certain words and phrases that relate to appearances are not used, and hand and body movements follow what would be a blind person's life.
The world building is really well done, as things are explained as needed as the series progresses. They didn't all just turn blind and started living that way; it's been HUNDREDS of YEARS, probably over 500, it's never made exactly clear. This culture of survivors has been living and learning a sightless world. They help each other, support each other, and there is no alcohol or drugs to dull the senses (those users would be killed by the environment).
It's real and it's true. 500 years, maybe even 1000, into the future this is the documentary if you can't suspend disbelief (that means fictional, make-beleive show on TV for entertainment purposes only for FUN).
Each episode in a 45 min - 1hour stretch, with lots of detail in each. There are 9 in the series but could have gone for 3 more, to expand upon the final city and a few other groups. But all in all, a very good show to watch. If you want more, re-watch the show and you'll learn more about it, you'll See.
Russian Doll (2019)
Whiney, entitled, feminist ctrl-alt-right wing
I got hooked into this series because of the Groundhog Day time loop. I made it halfway in the second or third episode and had to turn it off.
What a load of whiney, entitled feminist right wing lgbtiqwerty+ high pitched teenage melodrama subplot trash. I couldn't stand her complaining voice. She fell down the stairs once with out looking and complained "why is everything bad happening to meeeeeee? it's not my faaaaaault"
Half the characters are gay, and one thinks the other might not be gay and get angry cos she thought "you are supposed to be this way that i imagined you to be and now my mis-guided interpretations of your actions i only half paid attention to that vaguely suggests otherwise of my self-entitled thoughts". ultra-feminist lgbtqeerti extremist themes amirite?
Russian Doll is like that but so much more whiney, like its the Internet Feminism Outrage Comments Section the TV Show, Now Streaming (screaming?) on Netflix. Look, nothing against fems or lgbt's or self-subjugation, but if i wanted to view such material i won't waste data streaming a TV, i'll just go to any comments section.
Honestly does this show get any better, like the layers of a russian doll onion? I might just get the lowest res version and watch muted with subtitles listening to heavy metal or hard rock from the 80s.
On second thought i'd rather spend my data on Lost in Space season 2, episode x, escape the killer teenage melodrama subplot and climb out of the hole after we found the space time robot.
Final Space (2018)
Season 1 is amazing adult cartoon, season 2 was changed for the kids.
Season one was a hilarious poke at self existence. Of course the main character Gary is obnoxious, annoying, like a pretender trying to be cool, but done in a very clever way to be funny, especially with KVN.
The first season was comedy gold for adults. Then as i was hyping for season 2, i noticed something: it was changed almost entirely. Gary is actually likable, and the swearing is gone. And the wierdness is toned down quite a bit. It seems that season one got too many complaints so they changed it for season 2 so that dads (or parents) could watch with their kids. Because that's what season 2 is - a kids show, while season 1, the superior season (as originals tend to be) is a great adult cartoon.
Still good though....ok now shut up kevin!
Mindhunter (2017)
Very nice and crazy show, mostly dialogue with extreme content. *SPOILERS*
This is about FBI agents researching a way to identify a criminal profile for newly termed "serial killers" in the late 1970s to early 80s. They start by conducting interviews with convicted murderers; the worst of the worst, whose crimes are beyond crazy.
I thought i'd give this show a try after having it on my list for sometime, and was hooked the first episode by the invisible naked dude holding himself hostage in front of a scared woman while shrieking for his wife.
Mostly the show is dialogue heavy but the content and themes are extreme. Definitely wait until the kids are asleep and can't hear the TV (or better yet out of the house). It's more of a thinking and listening type of show, so if you're going to be distracted by your phone or have it on in the background then you won't understand what's happening and won't like it - i mean you'll miss important plot points like SPOILER the guy Ed Kemper talks about his crimes that he killed his mother, cut off her head and raped the head. More and more violent craziness.
This leads to the profile of a fatherless boy abused by his mother grows up wanting sexual and violent domination over women (sometimes the guy is dressed as his mother). It also has a sort of creepy weird vibe a la Twin Peaks.
It's mostly dialogue but the content is crazy extreme, totally worth it in HD.
Mindhunter (2017)
Very nice and crazy show, mostly dialogue with extreme content. *SPOILERS*
This is about FBI agents researching a way to identify a criminal profile for newly termed "serial killers" in the late 1970s to early 80s. They start by conducting interviews with convicted murderers; the worst of the worst, whose crimes are beyond crazy.
I thought i'd give this show a try after having it on my list for sometime, and was hooked the first episode by the invisible naked dude holding himself hostage in front of a scared woman while shrieking for his wife.
Mostly the show is dialogue heavy but the content and themes are extreme. Definitely wait until the kids are asleep and can't hear the TV (or better yet out of the house). It's more of a thinking and listening type of show, so if you're going to be distracted by your phone or have it on in the background then you won't understand what's happening and won't like it - i mean you'll miss important plot points like SPOILER the guy Ed Kemper talks about his crimes that he killed his mother, cut off her head and raped the head. More and more violent craziness.
This leads to the profile of a fatherless boy abused by his mother grows up wanting sexual and violent domination over women (sometimes the guy is dressed as his mother). It also has a sort of creepy weird vibe a la Twin Peaks.
It's mostly dialogue but the content is crazy extreme, totally worth it in HD.
Dark (2017)
Perfectly captivating and deep.
Dark is an amazing series. Full of interesting characters that are played out properly by all their actors. This is a show where u have to pay attention. It's a deep drama sci-fi that deals with family, murder, time travel, and self-perpetuation. It is Twin Peaks level of weirdness and complexity.
Best viewed in original German audio with subtitles, Dark is akin to Predestination and Twin Peaks.
Buried (2010)
One man. Inside a dark box. With a phone. The Movie.
No need to splash out big $$ for the super gold class extreme screen for this movie. It is mostly dark or black, because it is just one guy in a box for the whole movie. He calls people on a phone and fends off a snake with a lighter.
Did i mention it's just one guy in a box the whole movie, which is mostly dark? He's lying down and can't move anywhere.
This movie is perfect for watching (or listening) on your phone. It's not a party movie, it's not a friends movie. But it would probably make a great date movie because NOTHING HAPPENS ONSCREEN.
One man. Inside a dark box. With a phone. I Missed My Chance For the 30min Refund. The Movie.
...wait what did i rate 10/10?!?!?
Ad Astra (2019)
A slow-burn sad drama with angry space monkeys, not a fun space adventure with fun space monkeys.
Ad Astra is a slow burn drama full of slow voice overs and panning shots. There are plenty of plots holes and science that just doesn't match up.
The tone is a serious existential type, really a loner goes looking for his loner father and when he ends up finding him, they both discover that they really just want to be left alone to be loners... point of the movie, really, we are alone in the universe - as they find none.
Throw in some political and religious agendas, and forget to use tether cords except for safety but use at the end for danger. And a metal shield will protect you from space rocks after jumping from a rotating object. Don't use reverse thrusters to slow down as you approach the rocket, but speed up and slam into the hull (made of stainless steel; doesn't bend, brake or scratch), parachute roll and grab onto the last ladder rung. The space suit will stop your arms from being ripped off, then ride a nuclear blast wave larger than Neptune home.
Also we have to assume the characters close airlocks behind them, and the real reason to stop for the space monkey ship was to retrieve the plot device the angry space monkeys had stolen because they weren't given voice actors.
"Well, look, it's almost a full moon. so a large stretch of the Far Side's real black so let's suit up." -said the black guy at the moon base... A full moon, on the moon somehow determines how dark and light it is or which side they are on. Perhaps the moon people forgot to set their moon clocks to moon time after building a moon city on the moon.
With all it's silliness this movie would have worked so much better as a fun action space adventure instead of a slow, sad dead-pan drama. Daddy abandonment issues play out better with a female lead actor. In terms of the plots holes and sighends (science), the movie Gravity worked well, but is so out of place in this drama.
The movie is NOT the fun action space adventure you had hoped. Maybe in 10 years it might be a classic, but not now.
Daylight's End (2016)
Good enough home action movie, but falls apart at the end
Decent enough a action movie to be entertaining for an hour or two. A lone wolf whom the filmmakers want us to believe a badass makes his way through a zombie apocalypse city. He is taken in by a group of survivors holed up in a police station prison. They have security cameras, alarms, steel door, and cells to lock themselves in if things go to hell. The plan is to assault the hotel where the zombies vampires and their alpha master are hiding (sound familiar, I am legend). The action scenes are OK as a run n gun but stupid characters.
For instance, a guy has to put a bomb on the other side of a sleeping horde and walks through the middle instead of around, then gets to the other end virtually waves to the others "hallo!!" And fails to see the monster obviously not hiding well at all right behind him. OK fine whatever we'll just pretend the Munster was invisible.
The movie has some parts it tries to be emotional or sentimental, right before the final action scene. This scene is like the downtime of any movie but could have been longer for adequate toilet break.
Now **possible spoilers** the movie falls apart during the final fight scene happens to be the last stand when the plan fails, which happens inside the survivors stronghold, which remember is a cop shop with lock up prison. They use tactics for 30seconds then just run for it. Not once did any of them close a prison gate to lock in/out zombies for shooting gallery. Apart from that one broom closet door. So lock all the kids in one cell when bringing in the main character at the start but don't use any locking gates for protecting at the final fight wen they know the zombies are coming, but use a phone to lure them to the leader.
It just ruined the an already half-crap movie. I say half-crap because it's only half crap. As stereotypical - the black guy gets overrun by zombies first in a stupidly predictable way, but not before the stupid guy.
Not much in the way of bad movie laughs. I would've better enjoyed my time watching the last parts of twister on TV with ads. Worth a look on 1$ DVD.