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GameelaWright
Reviews
Identity (2003)
Pretty Predictable Plot - But Direction & Acting Make it Entertaining
CAUTION: SOME SMALL SPOILERS AHEAD! Even though I was able to figure out the hidden plot, and the killer before the end, I was still on the edge of my seat the whole time. It goes to show you that if you have a really good cast and director, a simplistic, yet well-applied plot can be worth the effort. If you ever studied psychology, you can pick up what's going on pretty early. There are 10 people, who all have a few, specific things in common. They get stuck together in a motel (reminiscent of a few episodes of the Twilight Zone) and are barred from leaving by seemingly unrelated things (The rain, which is a character in the movie itself nice touch; the phones all being dead; the `accidents' that seem to bring everyone together in the first place). They start to die off one by one, and what starts out like a typical where-is-the-psycho-killer-hiding slasher flick, begins to get stranger and more mysterious. The movie gives some obvious, but easily missed clues about some of the characters that are cool to catch the second time around, or after you've watched and are thinking about it. The very end of the movie bothered me a bit in that it seemed typical of most B-horror flicks, but it is forgivable. John Cusack is one of my favorites, and he didn't disappoint here either. He brought a gentle strength that neither disappeared nor went overboard. And while some people have complained of overacting or overdone dialogue, I think the cast did an excellent job and that it fit in the film. Think `And Then There Were None', `Psycho', `The Twilight Zone' and `Memento' and you've got `Identity'. Not as strong as the predecessors above, but still good entertainment.
Gigli (2003)
Who do we blame for this mess?
You know it is not a good thing when the only entertaining person in the film is the `retard' as they called him. If it weren't for that character, I would have pulled my hair out. I just kept waiting for his scenes. And they weren't that great. But I needed them. So I could justify sitting for the entire 2 hours. Was it the worst film ever? No. But man, someone should have had the cojones to say to the people in charge `Stop. Just stop.'
Martin Brest really has to get over himself. His writing and directing keeps getting muddy and I can only think hubris coupled with a sense of entitlement is to blame. This film is a good example of someone taking himself WAY too seriously. What on earth was he thinking when he wrote, `I am the Sultan of Swat'? `I am the original gangster's gangster'? `I'm the bull, you're the cow'? And don't get me started on the yoga posing/vagina-penis monologue! I don't think actors with 2 Oscars could have made that script sound good. And speaking of the script, where the hell was the plot? The beginning was just about getting through it so that we could introduce Jennifer Lopez' character and their ensuing sexual tension. Ricky and Gigli are barely watching this guy who is unpredictable and they seem to be pretty relaxed about the whole thing. This is even after the cop shows up, played by Christopher Walken who was in only one scene, and then we never see him again. And what was he saying? I actually had to put on the subtitles and watch the scene over to understand. Pacino was also in just one scene. And thank God, because his yelling is getting worse. If you want to know if Pacino feels he is in a bad movie, just listen for how much he yells. The more he yells, the louder he yells, the worse the movie is. And then there's psycho lesbo girlfriend who comes in for one scene and attempts to kill herself. Ok, we've proven that Ricky is really a lesbian so we can get rid of the dumped girlfriend. On to the next shot!
Ben Affleck as a gangster? And exactly what accent was he doing? Italian, New Jersey by way of Staten Island? He was funny in the mirror talking to himself, but overall the macho bit seemed very, well.acted, and not very well. He niche is playing underdogs with vulnerability, but where was the hardened criminal? Jennifer Lopez - yes, yes, yes, we know she looks good. But she is supposed to be a hardened lesbian gangster for hire. Where did she find the time to keep her hair so coiffed and keep lip gloss on her lips? And why oh why am I forced to see her ass all the time? When and how did her behind become part of the story? This time it was the butt crack as she laid items on the floor to make a bed. And why the yoga stuff? What was the point in that? To show why Gigli was so frustrated? He could have just complained about the script. Her long monologues not only didn't make much sense and seem contrived, but Jennifer though talented, does not have the chops for that kind of dialogue. She and Ben didn't have the best on-screen chemistry I've seen, but I believed the attraction. But it couldn't help this mess of a movie.
Swept Away (2002)
OK, It's not the worst...but still
I rented "Swept Away" expecting it to be the worst film ever, and was surprised to see that it wasn't. THAT being said, I think there is something to be said for not allowing your spouse to bully you into doing something (do you hear, Guy Ritchie?) First of all, the movie moved like a drunk snail. There was some really good dialogue in the beginning, along with good music and cinematography, but as soon as Madonna started speaking, I said "Oh Lord, here we go again!" The actor playing her protagonist (the son of the actor from the original I believe) was quite good.
This remake is not in the least bit politically correct. Basically the Italian (not Greek) fisherman abuses her, and breaks her down until she gives in. The only way to show the nuances of the characters so that we sympathize with them though we may not like their behaviors, is to have good actors who can show all sides. Madonna cannot do that! She's so efficient at playing bitch, that after a while you start to ask yourself "Why didn't he just strangle her?" or "OK, she's been on this island long enough and has watched this guy long enough to know how to take care of herself, so why doesn't she just tell him to take a flying leap and break from him? Why does she hide from the rescue effort to stay with him?" The answer SHOULD be that she was as trapped with her husband and previous life as she is on this island. The fisherman, through his own anger, bitterness and brutality - breaks through all the walls she's put up. But since Madonna cannot seem to drum up real, emotional conflict and feelings, you don't quite believe her when she "reveals" herself. There is no real chemistry between them. She has a hard time crying and only really, truly did it on the helicopter at the end of the movie. But by then it was too late as far as the audience is concerned. Nothing is worse than a movie that doesn't make you care about the characters. All I could think was "Oh for God's sake will somebody come by with a boat and pick them up?!" And if I heard Madonna deliver one more joke in her flat, nasal way, I was going to put a shoe in the DVD player. She wasn't funny, which would have helped her character (and Madonna herself) garner more sympathy. For someone who prides herself in "pushing the envelope" and "challenging the status quo", you'd think she'd be a better actor. Stick to what you know babe.
Fair Game (1995)
Ok...So maybe models are wooden, lifeless creatures...
I like Cindy Crawford. I really do. I respect the class she has maintained in an often classless fashion and modeling industry. But some people should stick to what they know.
Cindy, my God! In this movie, you were just in your lovely apartment overlooking the water. Your apartment is then blown up, you are blown off the balcony into the water, your cat is toast and all your possessions are gone. Oh, and by the way, a bunch of very bad people are now trying to shoot you dead. You get out of the cold water, run for your life and get taken to a safe house where the 2nd rate Baldwin asks you `How do you feel?' And Cindy says with the intensity of a heroin addict, `Like my life just exploded. What is this place, Motel Hell?' She said it like she was reading the phone book! A real actress would have been looking at the cop like he was nuts! And she would have delivered the lines accordingly. It got worse.
Did you see at the very first scene in the movie where Cindy's character is jogging and gets shot? Did you notice her slowing down to hit her mark and wait for the shot? I've never heard or seen anyone more stilted and lifeless except for a really bored telemarketer.
The writing was just BAD, and the movie was just about look how good Cindy looks after being dumped in water and having no shower. Notice her lips still had color? Did they have the long-lasting stuff back then?
Luckily it wasn't the kind of bad where you can't sit and laugh at it. You can sit and laugh at this one. In fact, you don't have a choice.
WiseGirls (2002)
Not "The Godfather", but I've seen worse...
Though I have to concur that this was definitely not the best mobster movie ever done, it was better than I expected. After seeing "Glitter", I fully expected to see more of the lifeless, dull acting in which Mariah made all those horrible faces which were poor attempts at SHOWING her feelings. But she surprised me. She is not a fully trained actor by any stretch of the imagination, but she gave more weight to this character than in her other film. She had life in her performance and was at many times BELIEVABLE. Mira is a very good actor who did the best with what she was given. She looked a bit gaunt and too thin, but she did a good job with a so-so script. All in all, check it out when its on cable like I did or rent it if you're a Mira Sorvino or Mariah Carey fan.