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Reviews
Hobgoblins (1988)
Hand puppets are bad for your skin.
I saw this movie for the first time, as I'm sure many of you have, on MST3K. All I can say is that I cannot imagine the amounts alcohol consumed during the making of this film. My reaction to this movie was threefold. 1) I questioned the notion of a forgiving and good natured god. If one truly did exist, then why was this movie ever made, I asked myself. 2) I questioned the existence of the devil as well. Trust me folks, even the Man-Goat himself would not allow something this bad past the gates of hell. 3) I developed a rash on the back of my neck. I have every reason to suspect that it was the movie itself that did this to me. If you don't believe me then just watch it yourself and see what happens to you. If you too develop the "Club Scum Special" as I did, douse it in every antifungal agent known to man.
L'uomo puma (1980)
Puma+man+Aztec Guy= Pain
Dear god. This was a terrifyingly bad movie. If ever a film made me want to hang my head in shame, this was it. Donald "All quiet on the Balding Front" Pleasence is anything but. Sydne Rome (awfully close to Syndrome isn't it? I'll she has a couple) and Walter George Alton shared a romantic moment or two that looked more like a vacuous stare at some bit of food in the others mouth. And the way the Pumaman "leaps" from building to building got me thinking of wedgies while hanging from my elementary school's jungle gym. Bottom line, I would rather have my colon examined by Jar Jar Binks than watch this movie without a healthy dose of morphine.