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The Walls Have Eyes (1969)
Even the sex scene is boring. . .
THE WALLS HAVE EYES is a self-described "Skin Noir" flick brought to us by Steve Hawkes. It's a bizarre, droning tale of a woman doing naughty things in a motel and videotaped against her will in a strange blackmail scam. Having given that brief summary, let me say that there is nothing worth watching in this short film! Even the nude scenes complete with "masturbation" are dull and pointless. The music is somewhere between underwater organ and fever dream, and succeeds only in making the viewer feel disoriented and somewhat ill. My advice to the viewer is: if you have the opportunity to watch this trainwreck, run! Run as fast and as far as you can!
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)
Semi-Disastrous, Semi-Hilarious
This movie had many things in it that were stupid, unfunny, or just embarrassing to watch. Most film buffs would rather spend hours watching an Ishtar marathon than be subjected to this film. HOWEVER, there is an underlying hilarity about it that is impossible to deny. Perhaps it's better watched at 3am when everything is funny, but this movie was better than I expected it to be. Being a fan of the overly-dramatic Kung Fu movie, I decided to watch this film and expected the worst. Any fan of Kung Fu movies and/or Mystery Science Theater 3000 will enjoy this movie. It's got the good martial arts parody stuff, and the goofy dialog over-dub reminiscent of Woody Allen's "What's up Tiger Lily?" Check your brain at the door when you watch this movie.