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Extra Ordinary (2019)
MacStinker
Dull. Boring. Stretches for laughs. Will Forte what the f were you thinking? I'm gonna make a movie in Ireland even after reading the script! ..... MacGruber!
Lingo (2021)
Most annoying host ruins the show
The show would be great to play along to if not for one of the most annoying hosts on TV (only other equally annoying is Ben Sheppard). Adil Ray stands there annoyingly holding his hand out like some kind of professor presenting a powerpoint on string theory and repeats the same exact phrase of "unlucky" whenever a contestant fails to guess their word! Change it up a bit you ANNOYING DONKEY! Another super annoying trait is him coming up with super annoying quips of the words they guess. For example if their guess is the word "Right" this muppet will 100% announce "is this the 'right' answer??" This happens 99% of the time and combined with his donkey like laugh and failed attempts at witty charisma makes it unbearable to watch!
An American Pickle (2020)
In one scene it self-destructs.
I know the entire movie is far fetched and I could suspend my disbelief for all except the court scene. Here they're trying to prove his identity bringing both of their mugshots up but the lawyer doesn't submit their fingerprints into evidence? Seriously.
Piranha 3DD (2012)
More like a 7...
I gave it a 10 to try and balance the ridiculous low ratings a lot of dumb, idiotic haters gave it. This movie is fricking hilarious! Why do people, stupid people, insist on joining the hate bandwagon? What is it about these idiots that make them unjustly urinate over decent films? Why do they think they have to defend the originals? 3DD had better humour, as it was supposed to be over the top humour, it had just as good gore and the 3D effects were far superior to Piranha 3D. Don't listen to the haters, they're IDIOTS pure and simple.
Kick back, relax and enjoy it for what it is, especially if you have the means to enjoy it in 3D.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)
Brawl in Cell Block 99
Didn't know what to make of Vince coming into this movie but I'm calling him Sir Vincent afterwards. His portrayal of reality often is subject to the subject matter therein, but the subject matter is portrayed convincingly here and he is seriously in character! I will probably never see this actor in a comedy again based upon this performance. Enough said. Onto the movie itself. It's not the best but it's OK. If it's not OK then I'd say better. OK onto the direction. Very average but not the best. I'd like see more affirmative action on the cameras but there is always something and this is it. Production is spot on. Can't say anything but goodness and for me the best part is they used realism, not from the actual actors, but from the set. All and all I gave it a 7. No explanation given for it, just I am psychic.
Wyrmwood (2014)
Better than some films of same genre and budget
Was OK, had some interesting ideas, just lacking that extra depth with the story. There didn't seem to be any direction for the characters other than saving the one guys sister. Too much time wasted on action scenes that served nothing for plot development. I would have rated this a 4 but I can't stand filmmakers who self promote/stack ratings on IMDb and/or employ friends and family to do likewise. Three Australian movies I've looked up on here all self promote and have false/subjective/biased reviews. Foreshadow, Plague, and this movie. It seems like Australia has quite a high percentage rate for doing this? Although this movie was by far the best (of the 3), the amount of swearing was just pathetic! It really got annoying to the point I wanted to kick the characters teeth in. It's not the best movie to start with without giving critical audiences (like me) more ammunition to fire at it! Other than that it isn't bad entertainment.
Plague (2014)
Illogical, appalling dialogue, zero plot, and zero character development
I have pretty much spelled out much of what happens in movie so don't read if you want to watch this, well, whatever it was...
I rated this 1 even though it is probably, if stretched, worth a 3, which I would have given if not for the need I felt to counter the clearly subjective ratings obviously given by the filmmakers friends and family. You are taking away the integrity of IMDb by giving such biased, and clearly undeserved ratings. I understand you need to support your loved ones, but if your rating cannot be anywhere near objective, then IMO you shouldn't rate it at all. You have no integrity yourselves by doing this and are not fooling anyone. (One of the directors brothers, by his own admission, reviews the film, gives it an 8/10 but claims he is being completely "impartial".) Sure you were buddy! We believe you...
Now, onto the review. My summary pretty much says it all so I'll spurt off some examples of the utter moronic script and whatever they thought was a plot.
Group want to be as inconspicuous as possible, so what does one character do? Yells and screams out in the open at the top of his lungs! Not once, not twice, but several times! Yep, that's logical! Same character jumps in car and before even turning the ignition starts muttering "come on, come on!", while rocking back and forth in the seat as if he's been trying forever. Just very poor directing!
Skipping ahead we have the rapist and his victim have a scuffle resulting in a plate being broken, her husband comes in upon hearing this and asks if everything is OK. Rapist says all is fine, just an accident, wife is shaking like a leaf and looks like a scared rabbit, husband shrugs it off and walks away outside. Yeah, great script there! Very natural, I say with a big dose of sarcasm... Nothing much happens, as is with the entire film really, but more illogical tripe, as when rapist drags mans wife off, after the husband has a gun to his chest, all after finding out he lied and quite possibly murdered a family he claimed was his, and watches her disappear with rapist inside. What does husband do? Does he pick up the nearby axe and sneak up and save his wife from being raped? Of course not, because that would be the normal and logical response! No, husband instead crawls up in a ball on the ground like a retard, crying like a girl. We get to watch him doing this for around 60 seconds! 60 seconds of illogical nothing! Skipping ahead, rapist shoots the mans wife. Yup, anyway, driving along, in need of gas, sees a farm house, nope, not worth a second look, because being out in the middle of nowhere and in need of supplies, including gas, would be way too logical and natural of a response to investigate said house, so of course they run out of gas. Zombies approaching, man begs wife to get up ,she refuses, man has no choice but to abandon her, so logically she shoots him in leg as he walks away. Yep, zero sense, absolutely mind boggling. The logical way to get the point across that she needed him all that time to step up for her, would be for her to accept his help when he actually started to do what she wanted all along! But inexplicably she decides it better to grievously wound him instead. Like I said, mind bogglingly dumb, illogical and desperate failure!
10 stars indeed! Yeah right!
The Equalizer (2014)
we are magpies now?
It is shiny. It has glitter. It had logic. It has Denzel appearing intelligent with reading 100 books. Its not what the opening leads you to believe. No, we are sucked in with 20 minutes of, we might have cool and suave mixed with some believable action. Fool me once... Instead I watch this highly trained, unbeatable assassin/hand to hand combat, best the CIA ever trained warrior, who from what the movie will have us believe, the who's who of who in society and military world over, would consider themselves privileged to get a decline to their respective RSPV's to their daughters wedding, blows up a ship, by remote control or timer, but is casually strolling away while shrapnel is penetrating shipping containers all around him! Not that strolling away while your explosives are about to probably kill you is dumb or anything...., cause he has great intuitiveness. Like with the whore. There are, lol, a few other moments I could waste my finger on, but why? If you defend this as a good film then you probably never knew why Pink Floyd were so great. And I cannot hold any credibility for something that holds so little taste for art. Getting back to our Denzel character.... if I didn't think this guy was a tool before, blowing up the shipping container so casually, he comes out of retirement for a white trash hooker! Some professional! Or maybe I got hookers wrong. Maybe Hollywood have an insight I have misconceived and most are really sweethearts who need to be nurtured into the butterflies they always were.... ▲ Top
Foreshadow (2013)
Seen it many many times, YAAAAAAWN
Australia, stop making films because you damn well suck at it. Can your desert nation please stop making movies and leave it to the Americans and the French who know what the hell they are doing? This movie took about every known cliché and dumped them into one very unoriginal, uninspired, lazy and predictable movie. The director was trying way too hard at the Hollywood type approach, particularly in the scene with the two hackers explaining what they discovered. The director and scriptwriter both anticipated what the audience expects, it seems, from the typical Hollywood blockbuster but were spectacularly unsuccessful and instead presented us with a try-hard, cliché ridden, predictable and very lame film. And what the hell was that ending?? Are you kidding us? Get a damn clue and an imagination you lazy frickin clowns! I gave this a 3 because I can.
Skid Marks (2007)
Avoid! False Reviews!
Every review on here that raves about this unfunny, derivative, desperate cluster *beep* of garbage is a lame attempt to boost DVD sales. At least every reviewer or comment posted that raved about this movie, in which I bothered to click on, has only one single post on IMDb. Yep, you guessed it, the only review or comment made is in reference to this pile of donkey cum. I do like all kinds of movies, including the genre that this UNFUNNY bowl of desperation soup falls into. You will probably hit the eject button after the 10 minute mark. If not, you must be seriously compromised by some kick ass drugs or paralytic on cheap alcohol! If I could give it a -6, I definitely would! Avoid!!!
Very Bad Things (1998)
goofs
very bad things was a very good movie, i recommend it but i noticed no one has picked up in the "goofs" that when Moore is walking down the aisle with the bridesmaid she changes from a brunette to a blonde, and very obviously so, the film makers intended this cause it's quite funny watching Moore be THE MAN. Another thing I found is it got a little silly with Boyd grabbing Moores hand when he was reaching into his pocket for the rings, too much unbelievability, Friday 13th elements have no place in a movie like this. And when they have the head on collision near the end and Moore smashes thru one windsheild into the next, was easy to tell it wasn't a real windshield, looked too much like picture frame glass. Other than Slaters sometimes annoying rants the movie was very well thought out and some solid acting and good belly laughs.
Santa's Slay (2005)
not as good as it could be
this movie was funny.............. for about the length of the opening sequence. After this it is just plotting to put Mr Goldberg in positions to exploit his wrestling maneuver's. God knows that is the only thing he has to offer here as the big lug sure as hell can't act. Not as funny as it should have been. There is no redemption in porn, just satisfaction that sex is very subjective and knowledge u can get laid daily but apart from the hours it's a nasty nasty way to earn money. If God instilled self esteem in us all there would be no need for money. In saying this you are probably a slave to money and need it to get laid therefore an amateur porn star. Santas Slay sucks, avoid.