Change Your Image
sibilance64
Reviews
Mamba (1988)
well if nothing else
one black mamba in a warehouse apartment versus one hot white mama. Trudie styler(aka mrs sting) plays the ultimate game of keep away from one angry venomous reptile placed there by a spurned computer game playing geek.(it's always the quiet ones you know?)most of the plot is incredulous to be generous,but i did think the one scene where she dumps flour on the floor to track the mamba's movements was pretty smart. well if nothing else if you have ever wondered what sting's wife bare bottom looks like, then you will see it in all its pale moon glory! i laughed, i cried,(not really i cheered for the snake!)and for the first time , i honestly believe that i could have mane a better movie than Italian director mario orsini. for one thing there would have been more shots of her fine hiney, and less of the geek in the car watching the game unfold with a voyeur's delight.
Brüno (2009)
don't waste your money
with much anticipation i took my girlfriend to see Bruno. it looked funny from the previews, as our TV has been bombarded with commercials to see the funniest movie of the summer. well, i'm still waiting. it was the most unfunny and offensive movie i have ever seen in my life. for the first time i actually asked for(and received) a full refund. now i can laugh at almost anything, and Borat was hysterically funny, so please don't think of me as a prude, but i found nothing funny about Bruno. it was mean spirited in its attempt at humor. at a Saturday afternoon matinée, there were 8 people total in a theater seating 300. we walked out after 30 minutes. we should have left sooner.in one scene Bruno is showing his idea of a talk show to a focus group that turns out to be a perfect microcosm of the movie. it was as unfunny as cancer said one viewer. i would stab my eyes out with pencils, said a 2nd focus member. you would have to borrow the pencils from me first said the 1st focus member. sadly i had no pencils!
Zombie Strippers! (2008)
i liked it
it was entertaining in a cheesy schlocky horror movie way. if you expect an academy award film, don't rent it. i rented it 3 times for free before finally watching it. while the plot loosely follows the return of the living dead movie,(damn that military for wanting a "super soldier" who just won't stop fighting-even after he's dead!) instead get your popcorn,soda, and a few dollar bills to tip the zombie strippers, and get ready for 90 minutes of gut rending,(that's the dialog) over the top, little gem that has more cheese than the Velveeta factory. Jenna Jameson shows what she has (boyfriend Tito Ortiz makes a cameo appearance) Robert Englund, the legendary Freddy Krueger plays the sleazy,germophobic,and slightly effeminate club owner who will go to no end to protect his cash cow. or should i say zombie strippers? if you like your movie sprinkled in with lots of nudity, flesh devouring zombies, and gallons of blood, this is the mother load of zombie stripper movies. accept no imitations. they will dance for a fee, and devour you for free!
Charlie Wilson's War (2007)
one of the funniest movies all year
i am not exactly how sure the accuracy is with this movie, but i can tell you that i was thoroughly entertained by this movie. the character of gust,played perfectly by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, was one of the most unique, yet entertaining characters in recent memory. this movie informed,yet managed to avoid preaching to the audience. it made me laugh, made me sad, made me feel alive, and glad to be spending the time to watch the movie. it takes no time to understand what is going on, and takes you on a roller coaster ride of genuine, human emotion. i thought i knew my history, apparently i didn't know it at all! i give this move 9 out of 10, and recommend it for all adults, and young adults, and the young at heart, just not the young. but as soon as they are allowed to see "r" rated movies, make it a priority.
Untraceable (2008)
it wasn't a complete waste of time
the movie was entertaining in the genre of fear dot com. it started to lose my interest when it became "preachy" about the internet, and the uses there-in. i prefer my movies to entertain, not preach to me a moral lesson! would have rated it higher(6 or 7) if not for the attempt at being condescending. the identity of the killer is revealed a little too early for this kind of movie. the killer is caught way too early because of it. the special effects are enough to make you cringe and squirm in your seat. renting it at your local video store is justifiable financially. if i had to pay movie theater prices, i would have been disappointed. diane lane continues to bee milfarific, in her role as FBI agent marsh. my guess is the viewer will figure out the "why" before the movie reveals it. and that is not a good thing.