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Reviews
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Drag me out of the Theatre....... Please.......
WOW, I'm kind of at a loss for words. The ratings in the local papers and on the internet and the trailer on TV convinced me to see "Drag me to Hell". I can't believe this "movie" (and I use that term loosely) is currently rated at 8.1 after 7,714 votes. The 1st half was okay with fairly decent acting, dialog and story development. Then POW... out of nowhere the dialog, acting and story got stupid..... real stoopid.... It's like the writers were replaced with the comedy team of Moe, Larry and Curly-Joe. I don't what more to say but I have to say something to get the mandatory 10 lines of text so that my rant can be posted. I did like the ending; Christine Brown seeing her precious little 'button' and being rightfully dragged to HELL...........
Speed Demon (2003)
wow.....a terrible waste of resources !
When I saw the words "muscle-car" in the TV guide write-up I thought "all right, not a bad way to spend a wintery afternoon." Cripes, was I wrong ! Who wrote this piece of crap, preteens jacked up on CoCo Puffs?? This piece of crap has a bad story line (son finds dead-dads amulet which drips blood and apparently is capable of making you drive faster - no evidence of that as there were no racing/speeding scenes to speak of), horrible acting, silly dialog with equally bad presentation. The worst dialog comes from none other than AUTO or is Otto. Who cares.... Apparently the word "muscle" in the title refers to Auto's overtly-gay gang members, who every 15 minutes or so, sensually rub blood onto someones bare muscular chest while dancing around a pentagram drawn onto the floor of their ....'hideout'.... The more I watched this piece of crap, the more it became clear that I was watching some sort of homo-erotic film. All in all, the best part of this movie were the sweet sounds emanating from the Chevelle's mufflers when the engine was revved. Otherwise, a terrible waste of time and probably rates as the worst movie I have ever seen.
If you have 85 minutes or so to spare, visit a lonely senior citizen and chat it up with them, they'll enjoy the company and you'll have done something worthwhile.
Tom yum goong (2005)
In a world with one gun
There may be a spoiler here, if you haven't realized that in a movie about a boy and his elephant good will prevail over evil. So let me begin.
Let's get real here.
One man against an entire criminal organization and all they have between them is one gun. In the real world, or in most other movies, there would be enough weaponry to arm a small army. Sure this is a martial arts movie so everyone from the street cleaner to the skate-boarder, to the weirdo on the motorcycle, to the restaurant cook must show off at least a one kick.... but one gun..... (well maybe seven - you get the drift).
Plus in the 'big' fight scene one kicking and screaming thug after another attacks Kham just as he finishes another off . This scene goes on and on and on. You'd think that Madame Rose would figure out that her entourage of bad guys are taking a serious licking and she'd yell into that mysterious waiting room where they keep popping out of to get their collective butts out and finish Kham off once and for all.
But alas it doesn't happen! But wait.... after all the dark-clothed bad guys are spanked she calls for the 'giant' bad guys who grunt and beat their chests and also proceed to fight him one giant at a time.....
Not much more to say as you can figure out the ending; good prevails, blah, blah, blah............
Aside from the lack of reality, it's quite entertaining.
The Descent (2005)
I know some women who would have done things exactly the same way !
I'm not claustrophobic and movies don't normally freak me out however..... At the beginning when the 'crew of fools' start crawling through narrower and narrower tunnels I actually felt confined and started thinking "I can't continue watching this !".
It's rather obvious about 5 minutes into the cave that they should turn back however as things start to go terribly wrong what does this pack of simpletons do?..... they continue on their merry way, venturing deeper and deeper into the cave - talk about the brain-dead. Everything just keeps getting progressively worse and you can't help feeling they deserve it (well, maybe it's only me that feels that way). You'll have to watch the movie to see how a pack of idiots goes spelunking.
All in all it's a pretty damm good movie, it definitely held my interest, start to finish.
Æon Flux (2005)
I just wasted 93 minutes of my life..............
Sure Charlize Theron is very pleasant to look at but this movie was so boring, so monotonous that I started taking great interest in and wondering about the black moles on her neck and the imperfections of her skin.
Granted thoughts of cancerous growths and what else the make-up on her face was hiding made me miss some of the dialog and story development but I doubt I missed much and it probably wouldn't have changed my rating even if I had paid more attention.
I watched this last night and the scenes and dialog my mind chooses to remember were disjointed, incoherent and generally dumb.
Guess the only good I have to say is that Theron's hairdo is ever so sexy as were the outfits she wore (apparently it has a lot to do what's underneath).
I can't recall watching something so bad in quite a while. What a total waste of 93 minutes of my life.
House of Sand and Fog (2003)
Finally an ending
that's very much different from what you think is going to happen. No.... make that very much different from what Hollywood normally dishes out. Life isn't always boy meets girl and they live happily ever after or in this case man buys house and lives happily ever after. S*** happens and sometimes people pay dearly for the mistakes and stupidity of others.
Now for something completely different. Winston Churchill once said "When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone." That's what I feel after writing my four line comment above however. When trying to view it as it 'will be displayed' I'm not allowed. An overtly obnoxious statement comes up telling me "Sorry, you must provide at least 10 lines in your comment. Please return to the edit window..." blah, blah, blah....
Look do I have play spoiler just so my lowly comments can be heard. If so here goes.... (a) Kathy, played by Jennifer Connelly, obviously has a problem which is she never leaves the house by the front door, because (b) if she did she would have stumbled over letters from the county telling her that, due to non payment of business taxes, her house is going up for auction the next day, (c) Lester the cop, played by Ron Eldard, offers Kathy help with moving and suggest she not come back to the house (d) instead of going directly to the county to straighten things out she goes to a lawyer (big mistake) and between the two of them they determine it's all a BIG mistake however, (e) "the house is sold" to one Mr. Behrani, a former Iranian Colonel, (f) after just a couple of days in the house Behrani finds out his house is worth four times what he paid for it, (g) Kathy goes to see Behrani, steps on a nail, tries to sabotage his house viewings, suggests the county will give him back what he paid, blah, blah, blah and becomes an item with Lester however Lester is still married and there's another little problem; he has two children, (h) not to worry, Lester shags Kathy then tells his wife he's going to leave her and the kids, (i) Lester also makes the BIG mistake of going to see Behrani and threatens Behrani with deportation if Behrani doesn't turn the house back to the county, (j) Behrani visits the police department to register a complaint and internal investigation gets involved - in addition to screwing up his family life, things with his job are about to get unpleasant, (k) Kathy drives to her former house and tries to do herself in with liquor, guns and pills, (l) Behrani and his family show Kathy what kindness is, (m) Lester, on the other hand, shows the Behrani's another side of American justice - threats, guns, etc., (n) next morning Lester forces Behrani and his son to go to the county offices to turn back the house, (o) Behrani's son grabs Lester's gun just as two of Lester's cohorts happen by, (p) Behrani's son is shot point blank in the chest (heart area so it doesn't look to good), (q) told you it didn't look good - Behrani's son dies, (r) Behrani spikes his wife's tea with pills, and she nods (dies) off, (s) Behrani puts a plastic bag over his head and does himself in, (t) Kathy comes back to the house to a very sad situation, (u) she stands in the night with a cop asking her whether this is her house, (v) she finally gets it and says NO, but only after screwing up the lives of Lester, Lester's wife, Lester's children, Behrani, Behrani's wife, and Behrani's son.. What an ending - probably what happens much too often....
So now do I have enough lines in my comments?????
Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)
children with a camcorder could do better
BAD, Bad, bad....... at first I thought I had tuned to the wrong station and was watching some bad black & white remake of Gilligan's Island starring some fool who thinks he's Bogart. This movie has it all; bad writing, dismal acting, bad scenery, poor dialog and an idiot who thinks he's an animal impersonator (what would make a writer create such a character is beyond me). The movie sucks BIG time - I couldn't watch it for more than 5 minutes before turning the TV off - yes, I could have changed channels but after that I needed quiet time. They claim the movie is 63 minutes long - if you have that much time to spare don't waste it on this dog.