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herrgruber
Reviews
Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
Shocking. Truly shocking.
Resting down on the toilet, I released my bowels.
Police Academy: Mission To Moscow splattered all over the toilet bowl.
Good lord, it stunk. I mean really, really stunk. I had to open the window.
Mrs. Blandflapp from next door could even smell it. " Hey, Gruber! Have you been shitt*ng out Police Academy 7 again? Stop it or I'll take legal action."
This 'movie' is truly a shocker. It lacks humour, atmosphere and virtually everything else required to make a film watchable.
My insane cousin loves it, though. He splits his pants at the sight of Lassard getting into a funeral hearse and later spitting out an egg. He drips urine at the sight of Captain Harris dressed as a ballerina. My cousin is also completely mental and dangerous.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
"Indy Fans Mass Murdered - May 22"
Vomit on the chin...now where shall I begin? A film that promised paradise turned out to be a sin.
Stainage in the pants... They CGI'd the ants.
And fingers in the ears couldn't block the angry chants.
Turd upon the screen... the storyline was lean, a travesty beyond compare that's better left unseen.
Trauma in my mind... three contracts that were signed,
and Spielberg, Ford and Lucas must have lost their ruddy mind.
Terror in my heart... a movie like a fart, that stinks its way through crapness from the ending to the start.
Vomit on the chin... now where did I begin?
a film that promised paradise turned out to be a sin.
(FIN.)