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Reviews
Lost in Translation (2003)
Good Job at Pulling the Wool over our eyes
Continuing his recent streak of comedies (Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums) where the humor is so self aware that it nullifies itself, Bill Murray stars in Lost In Translation. This overrated waste of time goes absolutely nowhere and has absolutely no message. To those that say "you need to see it more to understand it" Stop kidding yourself, if a movie is this bad but your intellect is questioned you will train yourself to like it. I've seen people do the same with Donnie Darko and other supposedly deep movies (excuse me, films)That is a very pathetic way to go through life, especially when there are books one could read that have more to say in their preface. Although I suppose that I'm just some philistine who has no idea what he's talking about, eh? Over 100 4-star reviews can't be wrong!
Clash of the Titans (1981)
GOOD LORD!
I remember seeing this movie almost every day when I was six or so thanks to near constant showings on cable. I have not seen it in nearly 14 years but I remember it was one of my absolute favorites. I remember thinking that the movie lost steam after the slaying of Medusa but the fight with Medusa was totally awesome.
Le peuple migrateur (2001)
Go Outside
I could not understand the allure of this film, yes it is shot beautifully but there is nothing else to it. I also do not understand why anyone would want to spend their money on an experience that could easily be replicated by visiting a park during the fall. If you want messages and such take a book from your local library along with you, you just saved ten dollars.
A Christmas Story (1983)
The Greatest Movie Ever Made
I have seen this movie at least 10 times every holiday season since my grandfather instituted the Thanksgiving tradition of watching this movie after dinner 13 years ago. It simply never gets old and the impenetrable web of BB Gun mania instantly gets me in the Christmas mood.
Most people have already said most of what makes this movie great, the instant identification with the characters regardless of generation. In fact I beat up the neighborhood bully on a snowy day in a manner eerily similar to the Scott Farkus affair. And Ralphie waking up on Christmas morning is exactly as it happened in my household, not the wide awake `oh golly look what Santa brought us.' but the slow waking up and the realization that it was Christmas a few minutes later. But the greatest aspect of this movie is that it never bogs down in sentimental sweetness towards the end. I remember seeing Home Alone when I was much younger and while I liked the initial scenes of Kevin's mayhem the whole family thing bored me. The same problem occurred with Elf. Not here, it remains hilarious throughout while still retaining its realism. Throughout it all Ralphie's old man remains the foul mouthed furnace fighter, he doesn't suddenly become a saint he simply gets Ralphie a BB gun. Ralphie doesn't learn a lesson in charity or Christmas magic, he nearly kills himself and then lies to his parents like so many kids have done with their favorite dangerous toys. And because of this when Ralphie finally gets his Red Rider BB Gun it's almost like I'm getting the gift, that moment is probably the only time a movie has brought me to tears of joy.
Watching this movie makes me wish egg nog was in stores year round.
Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
"Wait so is there any dialouge in this movie at all?"
Bend It Like Beckham plays like a series of music videos, what little dialouge exists serves no purpose as the childish story could have been told with a series of stick figure drawings.
As a "female empowerment" film it fails miserably, as a cultural clash it raises the stereotype horse from the grave and beats its rotting corpse.
If you want and ethnic female empowerment film check out "Real Women Have Curves" and if you're looking for some English films to I don't know, make yourself seem totally hip and cosmopolitan, get Dog Soldiers and 28 Days Later.
Baraka (1992)
Disgusting
If human intelligence is so terrible as this MOVIE suggests then why was it produced in the first place? This MOVIE, produced by technology, powered by technology, powered by technology, and hailed for it's anti-technology stance by a multitude of folks typing away at their computers. Never mind that the language (which the MOVIE "bravely" eschews) the proponents use is a product of human intellectual development. At its heart Baraka is the product of millions of hypocrisies, shot off by centuries of conservatives who wax poetic on our "lost innocence" rather than assessing their present existence and doing something to improve the world. This MOVIE is not a `rich spiritual statement/journey' It is pure tripe.
Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll (1991)
Torture on Film
Sex,Drugs,Rock & Roll is without a doubt the worst product of Western Civilization. The monologues are both uninteresting and pointless In the rare monologue that captures the audience's attention it is quickly lost through overly long repetition and unnecessary additions (The Hells Angels at McDonalds comes to mind) I guess Bogosian's one man show needed some filler material to give a length that he thought justified the price of admission.
I would rather sleep with my aunt and be hung upside down and drained of my blood than see Sex,Drugs,Rock & Roll again.