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michael_75
Reviews
Shark Side of the Moon (2022)
I'm not even joking
Everyone involved in this should never be allowed near so much as a camera phone, let alone actual film equipment. They should consider themselves lucky that they aren't being prosecuted for crimes against film. That's as much effort for a review that this rubbish deserves. To put in anymore effort into a review of this film, would mean I'd of put more effort and professionalism in than what those who made the film did into this piece of garbage. I'm not even joking. In all honesty, I think a bunch of thawed out Neanderthals could of made a better film. In fact, watch this and prepare to have your brain de-evolve.
Crimes of the Future (2022)
Why? What? Pointless?
I'm not going to babble on as many of the other reviews before me have summed this film up.
Quite possibly one of the most pointless films ever made. It was like not even those involved really knew what it was or where it was going. Viggo Mortensen and Lea Seydoux give acceptable performances, doing as well as can be expected with such a poor script and concept. I just wonder what he was thinking when he signed on to be in the film. As for Kristen Stewart! She manages to do what she always does in every film she is in, fail! I'm not sure how she manages to have a career given the poor performances she consistently puts outs film after film. If someone can explain to me what it is Hollywood casting directors are seeing in her, because sure as hell don't.
The story itself drags on at a monotonous pace, with no clear end goal. You are left wondering wtf was the point of that almost 2hrs I spent sat staring at the screen. Time I'll never get back. Thinking back to the trailer, I thought at least the special eFX would at least add an extra star or two to its score, sadly no! The cgi looked dated as did most of the practical effects, props and set decor. I'm not sure what the budget was for the film, however this is no excuse considering that you can see well made fan films on YouTube that have achieved better standards of effects.
Maybe it's just me, but I honestly do not see how this film has achieved the rating it has so far. What I will say is do not let a very generous and overrated rating fool you into seeing this yawn fest. Obviously you have the right to choose otherwise, but don't say you weren't warned.
Confessions of a Time Traveler - The Man from 3036 (2020)
a wate of.... time
Its a poor attempt at a supposed genuine credible documentary. The writing is high school level at best, so many plot holes that make no sense. The acting is laughable also. It pains me to think there is money wasted on projects like this.
Save yourself the pain and misery of this garbage, and hop on youtube, there are tons of kids making idiotic videos like this. Some, better quality.
Savage Creatures (2020)
It pains me to score this 1 star
This film was so bad it annoys me that i had to give it 1 star in order to write this.
There is not one thing about this film that i can have a positive spin put on it. Everything about it was so bad, from the directing, acting script, editing and story. In particular the acting , the two that played the vampires lol talk about cringe worthy. Then there are the special fx. I mean come on! In an age where the average person can create movie quality special fx on a home computer, this was just laughable.
All i can say is that i sincerely hope that all involved are never allowed anywhere near so much as a camera phone ever again.
Skylines (2020)
Quite simply, why?
Why did anyone waste their time on making this film? The first film was ok at best, the second film was a clear sign to leave well alone. This film only served to highlight that everyone involved in the making of this film should never be allowed back into the film or tv industry again. From the director, writers actors,, editors, all the way down to the people who even provided the catering (yes even them) should simply hang their heads at this waste of time and effort. I would rather suffocated with a pair Aldi socks soaked in badger sweat than watch this film again, or anything else that involved anyone from this film.