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Reviews
Craving (2023)
Mean Little Mutha
Craving is a fun low budget horror riff on siege films , most notably older crime dramas like The Petrified Forest and The Desperate Hours. This time the characters trapped by forces within and outside their environment (a seedy bar) are drug addicts who come unglued as their situation intensifies. The concept is strong if not fully developed, the look is impressive, the music effective, and the acting ranges from good to competent (no performance sinks the proceedings or sticks out like a sore thumb - overall, better than average). The addiction theme is a nice wrinkle. I chuckled at a few good lines and instances of gore during the hour-long buildup to what I really wanted to see, the practical effects monster, which is well designed but ultimately lumbers a little too much like something out of a Larry Buchanan film for my taste. Still, the wait was worth it, because the fun jumps to 10 when the creature goo finally hits the fan, and most B-movie horror fans should finish this one glad they gave it a chance. I had my doubts early on but enjoyed it enough that I plan to watch it again. Bonus points for coming in at a lean 84 minutes. Full disclosure: I contributed a few bucks to the film's Indiegogo, but I'm a straight shooter when it comes to these things and wouldn't have reviewed it at all if I didn't like it.
Hellraiser (2022)
Too Long, Too Dark to See Anything
Well, that was a total waste of time. I knew better than to get my hopes up, but I allowed the optimism of friends to infect me. I'm not sure what makes this a "reboot" instead of just another sequel, because it isn't another adaptation of Clive Barker's novella "The Hellbound Heart." I couldn't care less that there's a new Pinhead, or that she's a woman now. Works for me. But this movie was a full two hours long and when it didn't need to be, and it was the DARKEST movie I've ever seen in my life, darker than the darkest episodes of GAME OF THRONES and HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. "Watching" it was like listening to a radio drama. It sounded like the story and performances were okay, but totally wasted by the cinematography and color grading. I turned off the lights, closed the curtains, nothing helped. Even the daytime exteriors were too dark, with sunlight! I stopped paying attention after 90 mins. Then in the last THREE MINUTES there was LIGHT, and I could finally see the CGI at work. Total. Waste. Of. Time.
The Rainbow Bridge Motel (2018)
Pleasant Indie Comedy
This low budget indie reminded me of LOVERS AND OTHER STRANGERS and other minor 70s comedies with ensemble casts that are largely forgotten today. There's no star power, but several of the supporting actors do a good job - Scott Rubin (who also wrote and co-directed, Mel Gorham, Josie Di Vincenzo, and John Patrick Patti - and show real comic skills. The central concept is funny, but a little patience and forgiveness may be required to see it through. Not an ideal. Not an ideal vacation like THE WHITE LOTUS, but worth the trip in my opinion: a diamond in the rough. Support indie film! Apparently my review is "too short," and I have to keep writing so I haven't wasted my time. Another film this reminds me of is NEXT STOP, GREENWICH VILLAGE. Remember that one?
All in the Family: Edith Has Jury Duty (1971)
Edith Bunker is Born
This is the first episode in which Jean Stapleton played the Edith Bunker viewers loved: prior to this, she appeared to be slow, dull, and joyless. Suddenly she became full of life, a force of positivity and understanding. During the first season, we saw Gloria evolve into a women's libber (and Mike reveal that he was a chauvinist at heart), and Archie showed a softer side when Gloria suffered a miscarriage (a turning point for the show), but Edith's personality transformation was the most drastic evolution, and for the better.
I have to write 600 characters? This is also the first episode in which Archie tells someone (Mike) to get out of his chair; previously, he had only said, "Dogs off the table, Meathead."
Jurassic Galaxy (2018)
Fun Cheese
IMDB reviews crack me up. If a film is called JURASSIC GALAXY you should know it's a cheesy B movie with bad CGI - typical SyFy Original Movie fare, but way shorter (which is a good thing). Why do people expecting a "good" movie even bother? This film is a ripoff of the 70s low budget sci-fi film PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS, which itself is pretty much of interest only because of its excellent stop motion animation. This version replaces the stop motion with CGI which ranges from acceptable to godawful. The characters are nothing special but the actors are okay, and the film is fast paced and fun. I'd watch it again, and I know plenty of people who enjoy monster films who will like it.
My Fair Zombie (2013)
Charming and Clever
I was surprised to see the low rating for this - maybe people expect an actual blood and guts spewing, heads exploding zombie fest. I'm not sure how anyone could miss the allusions to MY FAIR LADY, I'd like to think horror fans see _some_movies outside the genre, and have some sense of film history. Anyway, I love this film: it's a funny and charming - ie "cute"- musical comedy that retells MY FAIR LADY with Eliza Doolittle as a zombie. The lead actress is fantastic, and the rest of the cast clearly had a blast. It's got a nit more "bite" than LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, but if you're the type of person who automatically dismisses films made on a shoestring budget, this isn't for you. If you like musicals, indie films, and zombie spoofs you can't go wrong with this delightful flick. Before anyone says I must have worked on the film, you're wrong: I had nothing to do with it. I do run a film festival that screened it (we awarded it Best Comedy), and I can tell you the audience loved it and it received positive mentions in our local press.