Change Your Image
moviebuff12-1
Reviews
The Power of the Dog (2021)
The Power of the Cock
So I'm convinced this is what Jane Campion wanted to call the movie but couldn't get away with it. She says the quote comes from the Bible but I doubt someone used the term "darling" in the early A. D's. Either way, another movie about gay cowboys eating pudding.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Pure Masturbation
What's one way to get around a massive plot hole? Just make it psychological. And that, my friends, along with the robotic delivery and pure pretentiousness, sums up the lazily researched, cringily written, "The Killing of a Blah, Blah, Blah" pretty well. Want to know how Martin infects Colin's Family? It's psychological. Want to know why Martin's impervious to pain? It's psychological. Would you like some sort of closure? Well... Oh, and all of this takes one Hell of a long time to unfold. It grinds along so slowly that the characters either start masturbating or talking about masturbating and I thought, "Jesus, I bet even Louis C. K wasn't this unpleasant." In short, this should have been a short. This film made me wonder if the Director and Writer could even comprehend English let alone write it. Kudos goes to Sound Editor, Johnny Burn. If it wasn't for his metal-squeaking soundtrack constantly ringing off in my ears, I definitely would have fallen asleep throughout this "picture"- or as I like to call it, "Pure Masturbation".
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Not for Thor Fans... or Anyone over 10
I had the opportunity to witness this goofy nonsense with my Father, who was a big fan of the Thor comics in his youth, and what he saw on screen destroyed everything he, and later, I, would come to enjoy about the titular character, who has been reduced to a comedic buffoon thanks to this, as my Father would say, "abortion". And indeed it was. The constant jokes, which fall flat in the hands of Jeff Goldblum and Cate Blanchett, who seem to have swapped genders in this film, caused the story to lose its stakes, rendering the 2hr 10min movie a complete waste. Don't see this if you're a Thor fan.
Far Cry 4 (2014)
Can't Understand A Word Anyone Is Saying
I feel myself wandering around in a haze of, "huh?" after each interaction with these mush mouthed characters, especially the DJ, Rabi Ray. Amita, the two crank heads, Longinus or whatever, all deliver their lines far too quickly as well- thank God for subtitles but still, the atrocious accents make it seem like a Far Cry from English.
Legend (2015)
Music By Carter Burwell
"Legend", the Limey version of Scorsese's "Casino", a film that also fell a little short of its mark but is relentlessly entertaining, in part, due to its overlapping scores that P.T Anderson would perfect in "Magnolia". This film's score, however, actually repels the viewer instead of sucking them in. We hear Duffy's "Make The World Go Away" twice, which would have been fine if there was a point to hearing it again but I just thought it was lazy. Speaking of lazy, Carter Burwell only supplied 2 original pieces... that sound exactly the same. The 1st is the "Legend" theme when the Krays are in the backseat of their car, being driven nowhere specific and lord, is it every sleepy and dreary? Not the type of introductory music you want when introducing the leads, who become one note caricatures themselves- still one note more than the theme had though. The 2nd is "Your Race Is Run", which plays during the epilogue when Reggie has killed The Hat- the defining moment of the entire film, alas, played by what sounds to be a coffee house band of High School children. The trumpet sounds as if it were put in someone's hands while they were sleeping, every exhale another overdrawn note. Carter Burwell, you are a lucky duck. Being given a "Music By" credit for two versions of the same terrible song. With so many musicians and conductors chomping at the bit for work, I can't defend this yawn-inducing entry that assists in "Legend's" downfall after act 2. What's happened to standards?
The Simpsons: Blood Feud (1991)
This was a Season closer??
There has been a lot of talk that 'The Simpsons' have overstayed their welcome on television these past few years. I don't have a dog in this fight because although I may agree, I don't want to know what Sundays would be like without them. Yes, maybe the show isn't quite as good as it used to be but The Simpsons have had a few terrible episodes in it's earlier years as well and this is one of them.
Very rarely do I yell at the screen for characters and plots to change but this episode caused me to do so. After Mr. Burns sends The Simpsons a half hearted Thank You letter, Homer decides to write an angry response but before he can mail it, Marge calms him down. But when Homer realizes that Bart has in fact mailed the letter, he scrambles to find a way to keep the letter from Burns' possession. This includes grabbing a hose and attempting to fill a mailbox with water to wreck the letter but a mailman then approaches and puts a stop to his plan. I don't know why Homer just didn't ask the mailman to open the mailbox and retrieve it instead of running away.
Secondly, Mr. Burns thanks The Simpsons later by buying them a large wooden head that The Simpsons don't appreciate very much. This I didn't understand either because it cost 36K. They could sell could they not? I don't know.
I know it sounds like nit-picking but watch the episode and I'm sure you too will be yelling at the screen.
Change of Plans (2011)
Finally, a 'Change' in the Line-up!
I cannot remember the last time I was able to sit down with the whole Family to watch something as enjoyable and viewer friendly as John Kent Harrison's 'Change of Plans'.
The following was a story that was both touching, fun and tear-jerking without having to resort to petty violence or over-the-top scenarios.
We begin with Sally and Jason Danville (Brooke White & Joe Flanigan), the seemingly perfect couple who are moving up in the world and off on their Anniversary trip when they suddenly receive a distressing phone call. Sally's friend Teresa and her husband have passed away leaving them with the duty to care for their four adoptive children.
But this isn't a synopsis rather than a rundown of what worked, what didn't and what we can hope for the future of 'Change of Plans'.
First of all, 'American Idol' contestant, Brooke White makes her acting debut and for the most part, she does an excellent job. Especially when she shares a tear filled story with the young, scene stealer, Clarissa Suwoko concerning a Zebra. And there are many moments like this that tug at your heartstrings. Even I found myself crying in many scenes that dealt with Jayme Lynn Evans, a new talent that is sure to go a long way.
But it isn't all about the heavy scenes, Joe Flanigan has never been funnier. He does flex the dramatic muscle but he is better as the good-looking, comic relief.
The supporting cast does a great job backing the story and letting us inside their little world. From Justin Kelly's wise-above-his-years portrayal of Jayme's love interest to the smarmy High school Quarterback, Craig Cornfield, we see these characters in our own lives and acknowledge them as such. Now I am a big fan of Phylicia Rashad but she seemed a bit too soft spoken in this first episode of what I hope becomes a series because as soon as the credits start to roll, you immediately wish for more.
With catchy songs, a great story and even an appearance by Randy Jackson, 'Change of Plans' is a fun, Family friendly program that we have not seen in a long time and that is such a great change :)