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ichabod_crane1899
Reviews
Feast (2005)
Feast Sucked
Nonetheless, I can still count up the number of moments, I particularly liked the end which I found to be quite funny along with the scene where the potential-hero was quickly gobbled up after that heroic line. Henry Rollins in the pink sweats was a funny little quirk and John Gulager's dad, Clu Gulager, was the highlight of the whole film. Also, I give credit to the sexy Krista Allen--she had the figure like that of an anime lady vengeance or KILL BILL's Uma Thurman, but only in her poses, for when she spoke she was like a squeaky little mouse. Judah was kind of annoying, he got slightly funnier when he started to decay, ironically. And the old lady was just wasted; I even thought in the end, that she was supposed to serve some purpose, but nope, she was just killed. I understand that this movie was not to be taken seriously, sort of one of those 'so bad its good' kind of films. And I love those types of films. But still they must be good. The hectic camera movement does not work for this movie, especially if they area you're working with is limited. The descriptions of each character sucked most of the time excluding that for the bartender, Jason Mewes, the little kid and heroine 2. Other than that they just felt forced; they shouldn't have bothered with it--it worked in 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly', but not here. Overall, this movie just didn't go together in the right way. It had potential, but it was wasted. I went in with positive expectations, but I was disappointed. If Christopher Walken would've barged in and stared at everyone, it would have made up for the rest and would have became the best film of the year.
"Coming to terms with a sucky film that you had high hopes for can be the same for your sucky life; in the end, you just got to accept and have fun."
Clerks (1994)
I saw this in seventh grade
Clerks is the about number 2 on my list of one of the most funniest movies out there. It's vulgar, classy, and upright the sh@t! I saw this in seventh grade, while my mom was making dinner or something (I don't know I can't quite remember, let's say that she was making chili dogs because those are a good dish). The funny thing is that she didn't start acknowledging the movie until she heard 37 d@icks (I just threw in an 'at' symbol). Why wasn't she paying attention to the movie before, was it because the movie was in black & white and that sort of movie provoked no interest for her, but when she saw that her 12 year old (i might have been 13) was watching a dialogue with 37 d$icks as its topic, she gave a "look". When she was recognizing its demographic, she told me that 'you are not buying this movie' (it was a rental, i rented it after I saw the cartoons--another worthy watch) So as such, since the DVD was a five-day rental, I was watched 'Clerks.' every single day of that 5-day period. And each day, the movie just got better and better--it was sweet. Each time I watched it, I felt like I was there, it was a 3-dimensional world of 'clerkhood' that surrounded innocent little being. I loved it and I was even a mature a$$hole just yet. So, if ever you want to see 'Clerks' and take in all for what it is and more, make sure you watch it when you are in the seventh grade, that is if an inexperienced, newly-introduced to the styles of masturbation-6th grader is reading this piece of crap.
I sorely recommend this--so sorely that if it must make me embody an irritating zit on your a$$ to persuade you.
This was ichabod_crane1899
Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
Funniest Animated Movie Ever!
This movie made me crack up so hard I fell down and cried! This movie is a mix of "A Christmas Carol" and "Beavis & Butthead Do America" to me! This movie isn't meant for little kids and it warns by telling you it's PG-13 for frequent crude and sexual humor, some drug references and language! Also the title should give it away! "ADAM SANDLER'S 8 Crazy Nights"! Well all in all this movie kicked ace! HILARIOUS! THIS IS AN ADAM SANDLER WORK OF ART OF A MOVIE WHICH "PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE" IS ALSO! **** out of ****
The Sidekick!
Bad Boys II (2003)
NOW THAT'S HOW YOU S'POSSED TO MAKE AN ACTION FILM! FROM NOW ON THAT'S HOW YOU S'POSSED TO MAKE AN ACTION FILM!
This is the best action movie ever! This has been a little bit of disappointment with the summer movies coming out, but "Bad Boys II" makes up for that! This movie overdosed me with tons of action! This makes the original "Bad Boys" look like a little ant! This is ACTION-PACKED! Will Smith is the man in this movie! Lawrence is outrageously funny! I am impressed with how much action they put in here and comedy of course! It has the right amount of everything! It is long, but it doesn't matter! The more the merrier! I have no more to say! 4 STARS OUT OF 4 STARS!
Last Comic Standing (2003)
Outstanding Achievement in Reality T.V.
This is the best reality show out there (in my opinion). I simply love the show! This show is hilarious, suspenseful, and wow... just wow! I love the idea of it and as it goes on, it gets even better and more suspenseful! ! OUTSTANDING SHOW! Way better than "American Idol" or any other reality show out there! This show is it! Can't say anymore. 4 star show!
THAT WAS SIDEKICK JOLLY
Bruce Almighty (2003)
HE TRULY IS THE SON OF GOD!
This is an absolutely hilarious film that Jim Carrey brings to the screen! The film is better than I expected! Terrific story and a great message! Jennifer Aniston is wonderful and Freeman is funny! But that Carrey! He is one heck of a funny man! He was outrageously funny! This his best work since "Liar Liar" and "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"! I great positive movie for the whole crowd to enjoy! Crowd-pleasing! It's good... GOOOOD! **** out of 4 stars
THE SIDEKICK MAN!
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
I think this is funny stuff!
I had the feeling this movie was going to do bad with the critics, I was right and I didn't think it would do good at the box office because this movie didn't have very good marketing and again I was right. But I still had high hopes for this movie! Jim Carrey is my idol and I was a little mad that he wasn't coming back, but you gotta understand, this dude wants to explore different characters. Anywayz, I went into this movie with my brother and we laughed out loud. Yeah there were some not so funny scenes, but it was still hilarious! Especially Bob Sagat! Eric Christian Olsen play Lloyd Christmas very well, but Derek Richardson is alright. I didn't think Eugene Levy gave his best, but Cheri was very funny! And that Rachel Nichols lady is mighty fine! Anywayz, all in all, this movie made me laugh, I wasn't disappointed, and I'm going to buy it when it comes out on DVD! I do have a life, but I can't put a movie down that easily (like Dreamcatcher), but this movie I didn't feel sorry for! But, yes, this movie could've done better with the Farrelly Brothers! I hope they get the thought to making a sequel and bring back Jim, Jeff, and Sebass! Although Dumb and Dumberer is funny stuff my man! 4 stars out of 4 stars
Sincerely Sidekick Jolly!
Signs (2002)
An effective and scary piece of work!
This is one of the best movies of all-time! What you don't understand about this movie is that this movie is not about aliens! It is about faith! For example... Merill Hess always thought it was wrong not to swing that bat and Bo was able to see things into the future like her mother and Morgan had asthma. At the end they all connect! Merill's purpose was to swing that bat so he could kill the alien! Bo had dreamt all this and Morgan was supposed to have asthma so he wouldn't breathe the poison! Graham's faith was being tested so at the end of the movie he saw everything. His wife dying was meant to be! That is what the signs where, not he crop circles! The alien part was just to move the story along. M. Night Shyamalan is a great storyteller! This is not a bad script, no bad acting, and also who cares about the special effects! They didn't look that bad! This movie has chills, laughter, and emotion! GREAT FILMMAKING!
Spider-Man (2002)
THIS MOVIE ROCKS!
This movie is so cool! Visually amazing! This is my groovy film of the year! Great choice for picking Tobey Maguire for portraying Peter Parker because we all knew Parker was a dork and Maguire fit the role perfect. K. Dunst was damn sexy in this film and gave great performance as the Mary Jane woman who lived next to Peter. Willem Dafoe plays the Green Goblin amazingly! He's the best choice for playing a villain since Jack Nicholson as The Joker! Sam Raimi delivers fine movie with great CGI effects and a magnificent colorful action picture! Counting down to "The Amazing Spider-Man"! I hope that The Lizard is in the 2nd one because I hear Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead and Army of Darkness)will play him and Campbell is straight out cool and funny! Enough about the sequel! SPIDER-MAN was the best adaptation off a comic to the big screen since Tim Burton's Batman! **** out of 4 stars!
Batman (1989)
THE BEST BATMAN MOVIE!
This movie was dark, action-packed, and visually stunning art direction of Gotham City. Michael Keaton the best Batman of all. He's way better than Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Adam West! Kim Basinger was beautiful as Vicky Vale and of course The Jack Man! Nicholson was funny and outstanding as The Joker. He and Keaton stole the movie! Tim Burton does a magnificient job directing Batman! He creates a darkly wonderful world for this movie and makes it not only a cool superhero movie, but a great movie! I cannot wait for "Batman 5", which the director is for sure to be Christopher Nolan (directed Memento and Insomnia). I'm glad that he might direct. Well all in all this movie is spectacular!
Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)
Razzie-caliber performances!
what a dumb film with way way terrible acting! This movie is so terrible that it's one of the funniest films of 1995! this movie just plain sucked. it wasn't scary at all! This movie has no emotion... for example when they dance to the country music they all look dead! All in all this movie bombed! zero stars out of ****!
Final Destination 2 (2003)
GRUESOME RIDE!
This movie rocks in every which way! It's got gore, terror, and comedy! This movie is really cool! A.J. Cook is hot and has a great acting ability! Fun time at the movies! I love gory films! Final Destination was a great film and Final Destination 2 is tremendous! This movie passed my expectations! GROOVY FILM! A *** 1/2 film baby!
Gangs of New York (2002)
WHOOPSI-DAISY!
This film is an EPIC proportion! Groovy film and so was Cameron Diaz! TERRIFIC PERFORMANCES! Day-Lewis gives an astonishing performance! Leo gave a better performance in "Catch Me If You Can" I Think. Diaz was great and sizzling from start to finish! This will rock the Oscars unless "The Two Towers" towers over it. This movie is great in every which way and this is the best Scorcese film to date! **** out of ****
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Best Picture
This movie is one movie to go see. It has everything, drama and action all into this great epic of a film. This movie is the greatest! For sure this movie is an Oscar-competitor. Make this movie win. Don't let "The Hours" win. It's a chicks flick!