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Reviews
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
Zzzzzzzz
Dead teen/last woman standing movie set in an underwater Mayan city populated by killer sharks. That's it basically, you can fill in the plot yourself and for the most part you'd be right. If your idea of fun is 90 minutes of teenage girls shrieking at unconvincing blobby grey cgi sharks then this is your lucky day, otherwise give it a miss.
Rig 45 (2018)
It flatters to deceive
A who dunnit on a Norwegian oil rig sounded promising but from the first clunky cgi images it disappoints. The Norwegian bit pretty much goes out of the window early on because.. well it's be too much trouble to read subtitles... so we get Dublin and Scottish accents cause that's foreign enough and every so often some subtitled Norwegian just to remind us it's foreign. It borrows shamelessly from Alien with the crawling through air ducts and steady decimation of the crew by an unknown killer. Ultimately by the time the murder is revealed I considered they were doing me a favour by finishing off the stragglers and bringing the series to an end.
The Wright Way (2013)
Ben Elton's worst yet
If anyone thought Ben Elton had still got it 5 minutes of this show will change your mind. For his latest outing Elton decided it was time for some cutting edge comedy about something everyone hates, Heath and Safety, right kids!?
Unfortunately what we get are endless cheap knob gags, achingly slow predictable punchlines, patronising ethnic caricatures presented with a Brent-esque misguided attempt to be politically correct and finally a Mayor who repeats every line backwards. There are some fine actors in this show and it's painful to see the likes of Robert Daws and David Haig slogging through such garbage in a vain effort to bring Elton's script to comic life. 'Health and Safety is not a subject for levity' remarks Haig's character, this show certainly seems to prove the point
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Brilliant performance in a flawed movie
There's no doubt the DDL thrives on epic roles and the part of Daniel Plainview is no exception. He spent a year preparing for the role and used oral histories to perfect the delivery of the character of a turn of the century prospector who ultimately makes it big. However, while the film contains brilliant performances from the star and supporting cast, the script, loosely based on real life events, proves strangely unsatisfying and peters out with an ending that somehow hovers between Howard Hughes and a Clockwork Orange. If the final 20 minutes of the movie had lived up to the promise of the first part it would have got a 10, as it is, an ultimately unfulfilling film.
Moonraker (1979)
Shaky but not stinky
For a movie often billed as the worst Bond film of all time there seem to be an awful lot of people defending it. I'm old enough to remember seeing this when it first came out and my 12 year old self thoroughly enjoyed it and watching it again 34 years later it is still fun. It is rightly criticised for the silly gags and they are certainly annoying, the idea that a secret laboratory manufacturing a deadly nerve gas would use the theme from Close Encounters as the code to the door is so fatuous that it robs the film of credibility. It is also hard for a modern audience to watch the scenes from Drax's base without being reminded of Dr Evil's lair from the Austin Powers films. But all these criticisms miss the point of 70's Bond, these movies were not intended to be high art, they were entertainment for a teenage audience and as such this succeeded being one of the highest grossing Bond movies.