Reviews

I've heard just about all the criticism I can stand. This movie is not bad. Would people prefer a crime caper made with a cookie-cutter? Add a little style and nix the wit? Whatever. Mamet knew what he was doing when he wrote it. Lines like: "Everybody wants more money, that's why they call it money." aren't good for their realism but their irony. It's called a play on words. Get it? Good caper movies are hard to find and this one fits the bill. If it's watered down, mindless shoot 'em up bang bang, buddy movies your after watch "Lethal Weapon" and shut your cake holes. The rest of us are trying to watch a good movie and can't hear with all the idiots grumbling.

Hmm. You know, sometimes I wonder why we're screwed up as a species. I was watching Extreme Ops in the comfort of my home and suddenly the world fell silent, and a wave of emptiness fell upon me as a poorly matted Bridgette Wilson escaped a fake avalanche just in time for a ski jump to take out some excruciatingly recycled terrorists who were busy being evil for no other reason than because the script says to. I looked around to find myself in alien surroundings. My home was no longer my home, but a void of everlasting darkness in which no form of goodness, nor light, nor hope could ever be found. And from the belly of this neverending realm of pain and celluloid death could be heard the sound of English actor Rufus Sewell dismantling his once promising career with lines of dialogue like "Are you ready to know what it's like to ski in front of an avalanche?" Oh, the pain. Soon, all this agony ceased, and numbness set in. My world shrank and suddenly I felt nothing at all, and I realized that everything I had ever done was meaningless, and all I had was nothing at all so long as Devon Sawa continues to hang from a cliff and ask a girl out in the middle of a terrorist attack just before feigning suicide for "team sacrifice". My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

But then, something happened. The darkness parted, and the shroud of peril lifted and I awoke from my numbness to find that I was in deed at home. My furniture was still here and all my things were as I had left them. I wondered to my self, "What happened?" And then I looked to my television and saw credits rolling. The deed was done. And the darkness had gone. But only until the sequel. (Fat chance)

This movie sucks. I hate it almost as much as it hates me. 1/10

Wow. What can one say? Boorman went from Deliverance to this? Okay, in addition to being completely hilarious, this is also the most pretentious movie ever made, (aside from The Matrix Reloaded). Good thing Burstyn sat out for this turkey. Please tell me that I didn't see James Earl Jones in a big locust suit. Please tell me that I didn't see Oscar Winner Louise Fletcher being groped by a matted Linda Blair stand in and moaning (I am not making this up) in such a way that would make Ron Jeremy take notice. And what in the name of all things good and holy is a "Synchronizer" and what does it have to do with anything at all? Why is Africa made of fiber-glass? Why is Richard Burton made of stone? Oh, God. They couldn't have made this worse if they had scripted it so. Oh, wait...they did. Well, for all its faults at least it's not a desperate attempt by a major studio to milk whatever money they can out of a pre-existing hit by combining a-list actors, and a controversial visualist director, with a hastily prepared screenplay that shares little of the spirit and intelligence of its predecessor, producing a boring, although often laughably pious bastardization of something far, far greater. Oh wait....it is. If you're a fan of bad movies, you have reached Zen here. If you're a fan of the original Exorcist, run, just run and don't look back. Run with your arms flailing into the night as the preview audiences surely did in 1977.