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Blood Mania (1970)
6/10
"Blood Mania" has body galore!
20 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Most recently I purchased a collection of Horror films titled "Gorehouse Greats", 3 DVD's with 2 films per side, totaling 12 films. Being a huge fan of gore house cinema... I bit and the purchase was final. After thumbing through the discs- one in particular reached out to me. It was called "Blood Mania", it prompted me for some reason to place it in the Blu-Ray player and give it a go. The film presented itself to me in three parts over a three day period and with a title like "Blood Mania" how could I go wrong.....right?

"Blood Mania" Stars Peter Carpenter as "Dr. Craig Cooper"and on this particular day he is visiting a patient, a Mr. Ridgely Waterman (Eric Allison) for a checkup. During that visit Dr. Cooper also meets Waterman's daughter Victoria. Victoria lives with her father and takes care of him, when she isn't trying to sleep with anything she can lay her smoking hot body down on.

We soon learn that Dr. Cooper has skeletons in his closet, in the form of "Former Abortion Clinic Dr"....yes..that's right, he is a baby killer and someone is attempting to blackmail him for a 1970's whopping $50,000.....that's big cheese....I digress! Or the beans will be spilled, causing him to lose his medical license. This of course leads him to allowing the ever so hot daughter, to seduce him. Reveling her amazing naked body in scenes of 70's esquire porn...not that I would know what that looks like Now obsessed with Dr. Cooper, Victoria devises a plan to kill her rich, sick father and deliver the proceeds to the ever so smooth Doc.

Meanwhile, Dr. Coopers girlfriend (Reagan Wilson) sleeps with the blackmailer( not to be confused with the black male...sorry, I continue) in an attempt to thwart him away from the morally rich Dr. Cooper, only to reveal her "Playmate of the Month"(October 1976) body in all its glory( songs of harps playing). Victoria( Maria de Aragon) becomes a hot mess and thus begins the downward spiral that is......"Blood Mania"

OK, considering this film is from 1970, and taking it for what it is, I have to admit.....it's pretty good. It helps that there are beautiful naked bodies portrayed like 70's porn....didn't I already say that? I'm not talking brief nudity....ohh look her boob popped out. I'm talking straight soft core porn style...why do I keep saying porn? Peter Carpenters acting is a little over the top, however Maria de Aragons boobs are amazing...I mean, she plays out of her gord to the tee! **Random info alert** Apparently she played "Greedo" in the first "Star Wars" film....1st yes, however it was Episode IV...so there!

Direction was fine, aside from Carpenters overacting(not sure there was a lot of real acting going on there). Set Design is simple and minimized to the few locations. The lighting and camera angles are refreshing, if you like boob angles from every direction.

This doesn't give much away, however I will issue a **Mild Spoiler Alert** There isn't much blood in "Blood Mania"( that was it, not really a spoiler)

Overall, their really is a plot to this film, and Director Robert Vincent O'Neil executes it quite well! Some of his "Popper" induced symbolism is a bit of a stretch, although with it being a 70's budget bomb...it fits well. Casting of the hotties is spot on and whoever's idea it was to strip them down...ohh yeah, it was the screenwriters...wait that was Carpenter....was a great idea!

I like this film and recommend it to anyone who likes a little trance like horror, 70's style. Laced with naked bodies and an end twist for the ages.

BruceVain
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4/10
"A Nightmare On Elm Street" (2010) a true nightmare...and not in a good scary way!!
15 July 2010
Wes Craven speaks again about the inspiration for 'Freddy Krueger" most recently in the fear.net series "Post Mortem" Hosted by "Masters of Horror series creator and Director Mick Garris. He remembers when he was a young boy, his family lived in a 2 story building, when one night he was peering out the window from the second floor down at a homeless man. Wes speaks about how the man at one point notices Wes looking at him and proceeds to toy with him, making eerie pose like depictions in the shadows of the night. Wes Craven speaks about the mans eyes and the penetrating fear evoked by his gaze( that Freddy gaze). This interaction affected him in a great way( mostly with fear), promoting him to run into his brothers room to share his trepidation of this man in the street; who now is pounding at their front door. Wes' brother now wielding a baseball bat opens the front door to find.....no one!

34 years later the incarnation of this experience is brought to life on the big screen with the iconic film "A Nightmare on Elm Street"(1984). In this writers opinion, one of the greatest horror classics of all time- about a child murderer, burned severely- hunting the "Elm Street Children", punishing them for the acts their parents committed.

Flash forward another 25 years- Freddy Krueger returns again in the Platinum Dunes reboot helmed by Samuel Bayer( Nirvana-"Smells like teen Spirit " video) for the first time, without the man behind the makeup...Robert Englund, the plot of the kids being from "Elm Street"( replaced by the kids all going to preschool together) or any real moments of fear.

The writers of "NOES" (2010) hint at a decently laid out plot, however the content inserted between beginning and end misses the mark...completely!

Jackie Earl Haley encompasses 0 believability as Freddy Krueger. He has a head that looks like "Spud Mackensie" or a small horse, this symmetry makes him look clearly unrecognizable as the iconic bogeyman. He is also too short to play the part. How can Robert Englund be typecast as Freddy and not be brought back to play the role people only know him as? I'm convinced the boys at Platinum Dunes made this movie knowing that the buzz would create enough of a box office hit to cover their budget. The film made its money simply because Robert Englund helped create a franchise like no other. Nothing new is introduced in this latest incarnation and the studios will green-light another remake for them to defile.

OK...so what, the guys name is Freddy, he has the sweater and glove and the girls name is Nancy...big whoopee!! This film is soo not NOES its unbelievable. Another 50 million ransacked from the pockets of fans, believing the franchise would deliver again the red and green sweater- ed bogeyman. Only to raked over the coals and shuffled out for the next theater full of optimists to get rolled over.

I will admit that the dreamscape sequences were quite entertaining. The "one liners" from the previous films were refreshing. Had this film been the original- with no 8 previous films. It would have had a very difficult opening weekend.

Nightmare on Elm Street(2010) opening weekend take was $35million......week 2 it dropped 72% earning only $9million...week 3 an additional 54% drop earning $1.5million. Numbers don't lie! The buzz was never built after opening weekend, that's how bad this film was. No one recommended it or saw it a 2nd time. " Welcome to my world bitch"

They don't care you didn't like their film and wouldn't recommend it to a friend, they already got your money..... correction...our money!

BruceVain
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Naked Blood (1996)
7/10
*Warning* "Splatter: Naked Blood" will make you hurl!
27 May 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Splatter: Naked Blood"

One of the better, simplistic formulas to shake the foundation of the genre in quite some time, has arrived. A few aspects that can be appreciated about "Splatter" are the minimal expenditures of plot twists. Director Hisayasu Sato( "Night of the Anatomical Doll", "Soft Skin") hides none of the script(written by Taketoshi Watari) behind any closed doors for the imagination to guess against. Every bit of this film is in plain view. As the film develops along its 76 min trek to absolution, no punches are pulled. What IS lacking in script writing, is made up in a major way in the special make up department. The world famous Yuichi Matsui (Kill Bill: Vol 1 & 2, The Ring I, II and IV, Audition, Imprint, Ichi the Killer and The Grudge I &II. Please don't make me go on, this guys resume is beyond world class.) circumnavigates the classic effects that made him famous, ranging from disgusting, imaginative, to vomit inducing!

It's just one of those very simple films, budget is not extravagant, the story is not overly imaginative. The acting is decent, although the sound editing is great. You can hear every stab, gouge and slice in Dolby Stereo Surround. On the spectrum of short, time wise, there is a bit of a wait to get things rolling, however when the time is right and the meat of the story(or special effects) starts to develop....you know that saying..."when it rains.....it pours? Yeah....like that!

A young scientist prodigy Eiji (Sadao Abe) is working on his latest experiment, a formula aptly named "MYSON" designed to relieve pain. He feels it is very close to completion and is ready for clinical trials. His mother Yuki (Masumi Nakao) is herself a scientist, specializing in fertility. As her son comes to visit her, she is in the middle of her own trials. Three women are currently involved in a contraceptive experiment. Eiji arrives and asks if he may sit in on his mothers work for a bit. She denies him and asks him to leave her to her work. The opportunity to share his medical breakthrough passes and while his mother is turned the other way, he reveals a vial of his formula and inserts it into the IV bags, unbeknown-st to his mother and the three women.

These three women play a pivotal role in the film, their characters have very distinct attributes that make more sense later in the film. Girl #1 ( Plant Girl) has a 6 foot cactus in her apartment....yeah, kinda weird, however, maybe she is a plant lover! Well, NO( or maybe yes, just in a very odd, loving way). She just happens to have a virtual reality machine hooked up to the plant and to her(when she puts the head set on), so she can communicate with the plant, have virtual sex with it....yeah...really not sure why she has it set up to the cactus.Girl #2 ( Glutton Girl) She loves food, good food and all food she can get her mitts on. Girl #3 (Vain Girl) She loves designer clothes, looking her best at all times and of course looking at herself in the mirror.

Our young Eiji follows his test subjects from a far, watching from building tops or a few blocks away, carefully observing their responses and effects to the "MYSON" cocktail.

I thought this was a horror film with a great FX Director...where is all the good stuff at? I haven't seen a single drop of High Fructose Corn Syrup( I mean Blood)!

Patience my young Pad-Wan; patience!

Without giving away too much, I will issue a:

*Mild Spoiler Alert*

These girls have been subjected to an unknown, untested substance, with out their knowledge. This "MYSON" increases the secretion of endorphins' from the pituitary gland when pain is felt, giving the women increased pleasure when any pain is induced (or extreme body mutilation...let the gore begin).

When the makeup effects arrive, they come wielding, kitchen utensils, cooking oil and much, much more! Yuichi's work can be seen in many Takashi Miike films and he generally doesn't disappoint. This is another occasion where you will get all of your money's worth.

I'm compelled to tell you a small amount of what you can expect from the horrifically graphic, in full view scenes of "Splatter: Naked Blood". Scene #1: Glutton Girl cuts off her vagina......and......EATS IT!!! Scene #2: Glutton Girl sticks a fork in her eye, pulls it out, optic nerve and all....and....EATS IT!!

Splatter is carried specifically on content. Nothing about the films writing is anything to get excited about. Anyone can write stick fork in eye..eat eye. Sure to the non-gore watching community, stomachs would be turning in knots, however enlist the expertise of master effects director Yuichi Matsui and those stomachs turn into empty ones. Not the best characterization and plot development, however, If shock is what you like; you must see this film, it was for me! When the good stuff rolled in, it was in tsunami like waves. Watch it!

BruceVain
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6/10
"Meatball Machine" has a little bit of meat but definitely wasn't a ball!
19 April 2010
"Meatball Machine"

Have you ever wanted to see a film based solely on the positives you created in your own head? Completely ignoring any cinematic standards or any reviews written on the film? Because, of course, your going to believe what you want to believe anyway. This way of thinking is very true in my case and for my latest film review for the Japanese shock film "Meatball Machine"

'Meatball Machine" is another film among the ranks of the Tokyo Gore- splatter film genres, with a pinch of Sci-Fi. I was curiously drawn to the film solely on genre, but more specifically because Japanese Effects Director Yoshihiro Nishimura helms the ever so, not so easily forgotten style of excessive blood, mutations of grandeur and everything perverse his big brain can throw at you. In this case the film is a complete success for it's costumes and effects. I've come to the realization that the best way to judge Nishimura's FX work is to base it strictly on a physiological basis. If you feel a little queasy or your stomach mildly turns, then the film is usually pretty good. If you experience any worse symptoms then the aforementioned, you better settle in and expect a wild ride.

As for the remainder of the film.... I'll get to that a bit later...after the jump!

"Meatball Machine" pits a young machine worker "Yoji" ( Issei Takahashi) as a lonely member of society. He's not great with the ladies and frequents adult theaters only to receive advancements from a transvestite. When a friend attempts to cheer him up and brings him to a brothel to de-virginize him, he walks out before anything happens.

On a daily basis he longs across a field at the affection of his desire, a young women, a co-worker whom he cannot muster enough courage to share his feelings.

This sub-plot plays second fiddle to the meat of the story that explodingly connects a bit later in the film.

Japan has become infested with parasitic alien creatures that inhabit and take control of human hosts, and when one of the host bodies are met face to face with another, a fight to the death ensues...oh and the winner rips out the alien parasite and eats it upon victory (yeah. not a real family friendly film). One of the more eventful scenes in the film is when a alien is found by "Yoji" outside the porn theatre. He brings it home and puts it in his closet. When he invites his affection home with him, it rears it's ugly head, and horrible scorpion tail, that it inserts inside her vagina, spewing the alien parasite inside her to take control of her. I swear, maybe it was just me, but it looked like she actually took pleasure when that elephants trunk stinger penetrated her Hoo Hoo....eww! This sequence sets off a chain of events that is "Meatball Machine"

Co-Directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Jan'ichi Yamamoto create this concoction based on earlier work written, produced and directed by Yamamoto in 1999. Their science experiment Circa 2005 starts very well- with elements of horrific, excessive gore, violence and welcomed extremism. My first thoughts were " I'm in for gory, gory, goodness".

Like this head split in two!!!!!( Not the best Photo)

Overall the direction was moderately constructed-Costume and Effects were pleasantly expected. The Writing at times, I felt lacked in originality and direction, at times becoming loose, making the pace and energy of the film misplaced. The love story, sub-plot was refreshingly agreeable for sheer ironic purposes. In conclusion the film is a success for any fan of the Japanese bloody madness genre. A little too weird in subject matter for my taste, but it is worth watching....once!

BruceVain
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7/10
3rd Times a charm with the Tokyo Shock, this time it's "Samurai Princess"
30 March 2010
"Samurai Princess"

Once again Yoshihiro Nishimura rears his gory FX laden head in "Samurai Princess"! This time directed by Kenjo Kaji ("Ultraman Moebius").I'm convinced Nishimura could never disappoint! "Samurai Princess" is a hybrid of "TGP" and "TMG", although the lack of budget is recognizably evident, though it doesn't detract from the overall distinction of the film. The costumes are 1980's retro chic and heavily stylized. It does appear though that the cast and crew were offered a forest for a set and said go to work! That is exactly what mad scientist Director Kenjo Kaji had, and precisely what he needed to make this formula for success that is...."Samurai Princess". Kaji does a great job, but when you include Yoshiro Nishimura into the picture, you can not expect to be shortchanged, he will gross you out....hardcore!! You may in fact get more(generally bucket fulls) than you could have ever imagined. Nishimura is truly an effects master, only the best in blood, gore and the most perverse imaginations ever created. Exploitive, yet stylistic and original.

At one point Samurai Princess was a normal schoolgirl, spending time with her friends by a nearby stream, living life as it should be, when a villainous gang of sadistic rapists comes along. The rapists do what they do best and Samurai Princess is left alone, clinging to life and left for dead. Along comes a even stranger individual, who specializes in typical mad scientist insanity, more specifically, experimentation's mixing human and machine. Now, "Samurai Princess" is known as a "Mecca" a cyborg like creature instilled with elaborate instruments of death. Also with the help of a Buddhist priestess they insert the souls of "SP's" dead friends into her. Now, flash forward back to present day..... awake and coming to the realization that her normal life is over..."SP concludes someone made her this way and she will do anything and kill as many as it will take to find out who.

Aino Kishi plays the beautiful "Samurai Princess, clad in minimal clothing, the adult film actress fits the part to the tee. Aside from the lackluster budget, that in my opinion is only visible in video production and set design, this film is a real treat to the genre. Original costume design, stupendous effect by a true effects genius and well done acting(at times quite overdone), this makes "SP" a genre must see. Although "Samurai Princess" was not a "Tokyo Gore Police", it did have similar elements, only turned down a few notches.

"Samurai Princess" wields Katanas that discover the best in arterial spray in every direction possible. Anyone standing anywhere near the spraying is sure to be bathed in blood, at times covering the camera lens, a Nishimura trademark! Two removable breasts that when attached together yield a grenade, that on occasion will make heads explode in full view. A circular saw that extends from the sternum of "SP"....I'm sure you can imagine what that does. Chainsaw legs and a guitar that emits sound waves when strummed, causing a serious mess.

"Samurai Princess" is a highly creative film, filled with high quality scenes of gore filled madness, done by only the best effects director possible. What the film lacks in development and budget, it completely makes up in originality, creativity and style. The fun factor for "SP" is clearly off the charts....and for goodness sakes, IT HAS BREAST GRENADES!!!!

BruceVain
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7/10
Pull up a seat, this buffet is a "Blood Feast (2)" and it's "All you can Eat"!!
26 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Pull up a seat, this buffet is a "Blood Feast (2)" and it's "All you can Eat"!!

"Blood Feast 2 "-All You can Eat

39 years after the original "Blood Feast" was released Herschell Gordon Lewis, the pioneer 'Godfather of Gore" is back with his next installment..."Blood Feast 2"!

This time the grandson of the infamous Fuad Ramses, Fuad Ramses III has inherited the catering business and wants to make a bid at making the business a success. His first day in the shop he is visited by a police detective, who makes him very aware of Fuad's family history in his small town. Soon Fuad will inherit more than just the family business, revisiting the same path his Grandfather Fuad Ramses discovered 39 years earlier.

Let's skip all the formalities and get right to it. "BF2" pulls no punches and from the start hits you right between the eyes, with exactly what you were hoping for- a blood Induced visual overload!

Two homeless freeloaders digging through trashcans are introduced in the opening sequence. They find a dead cat in the trash and say that it will make for a good dinner, as they prepare the fire to cook with, a mysterious red light appears beyond a nearby back door. Upon seeing the light the derelicts appear to be possessed, one approaches the other with a large knife and cuts into his stomach and begins removing organs. The other possessed fool breaks a bottle and slashes the throat of his trash can friend. This opening scene really sets the tome for the remainder of the film and reassures the audience that "HGL" has got you covered and you are in for a wild ride.

"BF2" and it's grainy appearance , poor sound, constant overacting, strange Batlord type music, homage to B-movie splatter films of the 80's was hard to handle. One example was Fuad's (J.P. Delahoussaye) over the top characterization of the possessed caterer. The writing had some miscue's too,like the constant denial early on of who the obvious killer was.

What "BF2" really did have going for it was the horrifically graphic GORE, explicit nudity, fantastic supporting acting by Detective Dave Loomis(John Mconnell) and the campy humor that at times was quite funny.

OK, back to the gore! 1)Full view of a corkscrew into the ear, screwed around until a lot of brains is exposed. 2) Both arms of a human into a meat grinder, ground up to the elbows. 3) Mini ice cream scooper removes two eyes, then tongue is pulled out. Explicit Nudity "BF2" is loaded with beautiful women with incredible bodies running around waiting to be killed in gruesome, bloody fashion, throughout the film.

Serious Comedy One scene in particular is where Detective Myers is mentioning the weather, when Detective Loomis does an entire scene of weather reporting, with map in the background. Really a very clever well done scene.

"BF2" with a running time of 99 min is very well paced, with the perfect amount of splatter to keep you in the mood. I will say that 10-15min could have been shaved off of the beginning of the third act to save from dragging on. Not having high expectations, to being pleasantly surprised with the quality of the FX and a plot twist too, make this film a real treat! Considering the subject matter, the film lacks the typical excessive swearing you might come to expect from the genre.

Herschell Gordon Lewis' techniques and artistic representation are communicated well and are apparent in a few scenes. Like the all white backgrounds with blood saturating the foreground and protagonist, representing purity corrupted.

His framing of shots and low angles which induce confusion and powerlessness in the viewer are textbook. Adding height with his opaque shots inspires fear and insecurity along with imbalance.

"BF2" was pretty good! If "HGL" wanted to venture out of the B-Movie security blanket, I'm confident he would make a great film. Not bad for a 73 yr old man back in 2002, 81 yrs old now! When i think of "Blood Feast 2"-"All You Can Eat", only one word comes to mind.....Evisceration!

BruceVain
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In My Skin (2002)
8/10
Do you have what it takes to dive...."In My Skin"?
20 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"In My Skin" "In My Skin" is exactly the the way a film should be made. French Extremism is brought front and center in this film Written/Directed and Starring Marina de Van as the beautiful "Ester", a young women who descends into an abyss of psychiatric darkness of self mutilation/self cannibalism/autosarcophagy. Her boyfriend "Vincent" (Laurent Lucas, Calvaire) and friend "Sandrine" ( Lea Drucker) deal with the frustration of trying to help, to no avail! "In My Skin" is a horribly beautiful film with just the right amount of extremism to landscape the austerity of "Esters" ailment to a frightening reality.

"Ester" is a young women who attends a networking mixer with her friend and colleague "Sandrine". Wanting to get a breath of fresh air, "Ester" ventures out of the house in darkness. Hard to see, "Ester" falls, after picking herself back up, she ventures back inside and up stairs to the bathroom, where she notices a lot of blood on the carpet. She realizes that this trail of blood leads back to her! She looks at her pant leg, it's terribly torn. "Ester" lifts the tattered pant leg, only to reveal a ghastly tear in her flesh. Amazed at the fact she felt no pain, she leave she leaves the party and goes for a drink with her friends before visiting the hospital.

Now infatuated with her new laceration, "Ester" spirals down the path of self mutilation, with a side of denial, shame and obsessive compulsion.

"In My Skin" is a sad film. This women is so overcome by her mental illness, it becomes hard to watch. Not for the scenes of the graphic images, but for the fact that their is no explanation for her behavior. I liked de Van's direction here. I could see how this could be perceived as poor development, but on the contrary, this is real life and we don't know if she was abused emotionally or sexually to end up this way. This is a direct reflection of the horrors of real life. You could have a friend, loved one or colleague that you think is perfectly normal to only find out that after hours they are tormented by demons. Somethings in life are just unexplained, we would never know unless we walked in their shoes. "IMS" is a haunting portrayal of succumbing to demons that haunt the vast majority.

The imagination that is Marina de Van is unparalleled, a real sentiment to her writing ability, then somehow she turns it into real life on the big screen, this speaks volumes for her talent as a director. Her portrayal of "Ester" was so good, I felt for her on every slash.

Laurent Lucas' supporting role was at times a bit much and overacted(like many of his scenes in Calvaire). Gladly he leaves it all to de Van to run with, and that is exactly what she does. Don't forget the mutilations she produces on her self with every sharp instrument she can find in arms reach. These scenes are all in full view for you to wriggle about in your seat. "IMS" is so good it can not be missed. It's so real...it's scary! BruceVain BruceVain's Blog
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Audition (1999)
8/10
"Audition" is by far Miike's Best
12 March 2010
"Audition" Recently my film viewing tastes have led me in the direction of exploitive Tokyo Shock films, uber gory, mutilation flicks( what's wrong with a little mutilation?) with lack of plot, character development and budget. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the sub-genre, "Torture Porn" foreign madness. But Takashi Miike's brings all of these elements into the spotlight and so much more, including his twisted masochistic approach to film-making. Miike doesn't disappoint with his 1999 film "Audition" "Audition" is about Shigehura Aoyama (Ryo Isibushi) a 50's something man who recently lost his wife. Now seven years later, widowed and left to raise his son Shigehiko alone ( Tetsu Sawaki). At Dinner Shigehiko suggests to his father that he should remarry, they discuss the apparent bespiritment his father is portraying. Shigehura seriously contemplates the idea and shares it with his friend and business colleague Yoshikawa( Jun Kunimura). Yoshikawa devises an idea how they can set up Shigehura with a new wife. Being that they are in the movie industry, Yoshikawa has a script for a film and wants to cast an audition, unbeknownst to the actresses that they are actually auditioning for Shigehura's hand in marriage. He narrows the exhaustive list of applicants down to a final thirty, the audition begins. The women come in one by one to showcase their abilities, but Shigehura is intrigued by one woman in particular, the 24 year old Asami Yamazuki( Eihi Shiina, Tokyo Gore Police). After continued suggestion from Yoshikawa to steer clear of Asami,( her references don't check out) he just has a bad feeling about her. Shigehura insists that he knows what he is doing and continues to pursue her. What he doesn't know is her past is soiled with abuse and torment transforming her into a deeply disturbed individual( a cute one though)- *Spoiler* If only he knew he would have his foot sawed off with a wire saw by her in about an hour....don't tell anyone I told you...shhh! "Audition" is a well paced, brilliantly constructed film based on the novel of the same name by Ryu Murakami. The introduction and development of the characters was just enough to make it through unscathed, only to reveal more later in the film to bring everything into perspective. Eihi Shiina is brilliant playing the disturbed Asami, a soft spoken, obedient women looking only to please, but holds dark secrets about her past. She is so creepy, in one scene she is kneeling in an empty room with nothing but a sack tied closed and a telephone. She kneels with her head contorted in a meditative state waiting for Shigehura to call her or vomiting in a dog bowl for her captive to lap up. She seeps creepiness and at this point in the film it seemed like the tide had turned and I was in for the Miike ride.

"Audition" is not even close to some of Takashi Miike's other films like "Imprint", with over the top shock. This is a real film, with real suspense , making it more thriller with a little gore, than Horror. Quite frankly the best Miike film I have ever seen(I've seen them all). In just under 2 hours,"Audition" is a bit longer than I prefer for the genre, but with Direction that good, the film flows brilliantly. The Miike style is subtle yet apparent ."Audition is Miike at his best, a masterpiece of film-making, with that classic Miike style. It displays scenes of masked predictability, when you find you were not even close, but...."that's life, isn't it"? BruceVain
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8/10
More Tokyo Gore with "The Machine Girl"
9 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"The Machine Girl" I thought for sure that I had had enough of the "Tokyo Shock" scene after seeing "Tokyo Gore Police", after seeing that film I nearly gave up on the sub-genre all together. Feeling froggy I figured it would be safe going with a Tokyo shock as long as it wasn't written and directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura. It was OK that he had done the FX, his work in that department is really quite good. Instead I went the safe route (really sarcastic) with porn director Noburu Iguchi's " The Machine Girl" Thank goodness there was no penis gun this time around. Just your classic "Tokyo Shock" Nishimura style! Fingers, heads, arms all cut off with the single swipe of a Katana blade. Imagine again the fan like sprays of blood in full force."The Machine Girl" was a very stylistic, well written and acted yarn that spins itself around young High Schooler Ami Hyuga (MInase Yashiro).

When Ami's brother Yu and his friend Takeshi are murdered by a young gang, led by the son of a Yakuza Clan Leader, Ami stricken with anguish, vows to avenge her brother, doing whatever it takes, including becoming a "demon" for her family and tracking down his killers.

"The Machine Girl" was a really cool film with elements of "Master of the Flying Guillotine" "Mighty Morphine Power Rangers", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and Tekken. The Yakuza boss is a dead on ringer of "Heihachi Mishima, he even sounded like him too. This film never really takes it self too seriously and exploits itself in all the right ways. The characters were all very likable and stylized end over end.

One scene in particular that really stood out, raised it's arm, waived and screamed at the top of its cinematic lungs, was when Ami visits the home of one of the young gang members. She extracts info from him and proceeds to cutting his head off, the scene cuts to his mother setting the table for dinner when suddenly the power goes out and suddenly back on. Well, in that short amount of time, Ami put his head in a stew pot and when the mother opens it to see her sons head inside, she screams, giving Ami the moment to stab her in the back of the head with a kitchen knife. What comes out of her mouth is , including pints of blood, a bit of her intestine, yellow puss? I think? The camera cuts from her mouth spewing to the stew put filling and covering the boys head or the hand in boiling oil making a Tempura hand. Really intense and very well done( In a exploitive, over the top sort of way). Ohh, I forgot to mention that Ami loses her arm during a torture scene led by the Yakuza boss and his clan, including his sadistic wife. Only to have a Gatling gun prosthesis to replace it.

"TMG" is nothing but style and fun. The ninja "Mighty Morphine Power Ranger" looking scenes were very cool and any time you have a flying guillotine grabbing peoples heads and legs and ripping them off and showing it, is pretty freaking amazing too. Chime in the bra drill in the closing scene and you have an exploitation film at its very best. The film does exactly the way you want it to do. No weird twists and turns or perverse scenes to derail this locomotive of shocking fun. Interesting that a porn director has no nudity in the film, but a very nice touch. For a good time....check out " The Machine Girl" BruceVain
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Gutterballs (2008)
5/10
Was it a Strike or was it "Gutterballs"?
5 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Gutterballs" What if I told you that a horror film would have a beaver shot, what I thought to be a real blow job scene, an 8 min rape scene, genital mutilation, more F-words than "Scarface", Skanky Girls, over the top gore.....ohh and a Tranny! If you are still reading, I present you "Gutterballs" "Gutterballs is not only exploitive, it focus' it's strengths serving loads of sex and grisly death to no end. Just when you thought you had seen all that the genre had to offer, Writer/Director Ryan Nicholson brings you creativity in ways you don't want to imagine.

The film begins with a quick jolt right out of the gate. Lisa ( Candice LeWald) is lining up in her lane at the bowling alley preparing for their upcoming tournament, when she starts to bend over and the camera pans down to her backside and the gratuitous beaver shot begins. I literally looked around to see if my wife could see what I was watching, because honestly I had no idea what I was looking at.

It is getting late and the midnight bowling is ready to begin, as the other classes of young characters begin to arrive, their personalities fail to mesh and arguing begins,a fight breaks out and everyone gets booted. Looks like the fun will have to wait until the next night when they are allowed to return. Unfortunately for Lisa, she has forgotten her purse and will have to turn back and go back in to the bowling alley, alone! Cue the serial killer and forward "Gutterballs" HOOOOO!!!!! I was surprised for this homage to classic 1980's horror to be right on point. What I don't remember about those 80's favs was if the acting was as atrocious as "Gutterballs" is. GB's was truly hard to sit through with the over acting, underacting, lack of acting that was going on. I know 80's horror didn't garner the greatest of acting talent , but Nicholson couldn't shock me enough to forget about it. I will give Nicholson some credit in the shock department. He is mostly known for his FX and this film was another success to his credit. The FX was very well done and quite realistic. One scene in particular that was hard to watch was a horrifically perfect penis mutilation scene....just the words PENIS MUTILATION is enough to make me cringe....yeah it was bad! "Gutterballs" was great for it's writing and content. The FX was excellent. I could easily tell that the majority of the films budget was spent on gore. Unfortunately not enough of it was budgeted on actors with even a little ability. Maybe Ryan Nicholson needs to focus on his writing and FX strengths and steer clear of directing, because he goofed right from the get go with the casting. "Gutterballs was a decent attempt but falls short with the lack of acting ability to carry it to the next scene.

It misses the lane altogether and ends up exactly what it is...... a Gutterball.

BruceVain
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6/10
"Tokyo Gore Police" will change the way you look at horror...oh and bring a barf bag too!!
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Tokyo Gore Police" What can be said about "Tokyo Gore Police" that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan, It looked bombed and depleted! After hearing about this film and the special effects from the incredible Yoshihiro Nishimura I figured it was a no brainer to see. I had originally planned on publishing this review yesterday, but I wanted to give it a little while longer to sink in.....and that is exactly what it did. I'm a huge fan of the genre and enjoy most foreign torture porn film with all it's shocking glory, but "Tokyo Gore Police" is a completely different animal altogether. "TGP" makes "Martyrs', "Haute Tension" look like "Garfield and Friends"....except with a grotesque penis mutation that shoots.....hell, not really sure...maybe bullets out of it. I seriously haven't slept well since seeing the film. As I write this, the disgusting images remain burned in my psyche. I'm going to have to use some Tony Robbins imagery removal techniques to clean these files.

TGP finds a young women working for the Tokyo Police which has been privatized due to a new threat of criminals know simply as "Engineers". Ruka ( Eihi Shiina) is the ultimate Engineer killer and she does it in incredibly gory fashion. Typically the police go in to remove the threat, but when they realize it is an "Engineer" they bring in Ruka. She makes her grand entrance, chops a few heads, slice off a few arms or completely cuts some one in half. Imagine blood spraying in all directions in a fan like, high blood pressure display. Even enough blood to cover the camera from viewing at some points. My senses were so overloaded, I knew not what to expect next. But when I thought Director Nishimura couldn't take it any further, he picked me up and dropped me on my head. I clearly wasn't sure if at this point I was even enjoying the film or truly shocked by the content. It was almost turned off on a few occasions, then suddenly a glimpse of brilliance reemerging across the screen. Ruka, who has seen enough tragedy in her time to fill the Tokyo Bay, from the head exploding scene of her fathers assassination, to killing engineers all day or inflicting herself with countless mutilations. She normally comes in, displays a bit of decent choreography, kills her assailant and moves on to slice herself and call it a day. The next time, she finds herself face to face with the original "Engineer" "The Key Man" who makes her change in ways she may or may not be ready to face.

"Tokyo Gore Police" is not for the faint of heart or let alone anyone who doesn't want there mind twisted up and shot out of a penis gun. TGP trumps itself over and over again and just when you thought you had seen the worse, Nishimura takes it off the deep end. TGP has gratuitous scenes of perverse, bizarre and twisted themes. From a standpoint basing the film on pure movie making elements I would have to say it was a success. The writing wasn't bad, the Direction was a real treat and the FX was out of this world. From a personal opinion based solely on how this film made me feel, I would have to say it was one of the sickest most disturbing films I have ever seen and hope to never see it again. You will need to seek psychiatric help after seeing this film. Steer clear of TGP strictly for the fact that sickening perversions and horrible mutations that will leave you sleepless are not worth it. Please take this film out of my head!! BruceVain
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Up in the Air (I) (2009)
8/10
Like my Income to Debt ratio..."Up in the Air" is a High Priority
3 March 2010
"Up in the Air"

Ryan Bingham is a 40 something with not a thing to tie him down, except his job and the travel that comes with it that he loves sooo much. It's a pretty cool job, when companies need to downsize a workforce, they hire Bingham's company led by Owner Craig Gregory (Jason Bateman) to come in and fire people.

Clooney's Bingham has the whole traveling thing down to a fine art- even the line to get into for the least amount of wait time( follow the Asians). Accumulating mass amounts of frequent flier miles( he's trying to get to 10mil, only 6 other people have done it) reward points and women that are into that type~ Namely, Alex (Vera Farmiga, loved her in the Departed). Who is also a frequent flier type. After a extensive comparison of their rewards cards and a few cocktails later, Alex finds herself burrito'd in the couch cushion. They seem quite content with their new relationship, only to part ways until the flight patterns cross again.

Bingham is called back to the home office in Omaha for a new announcement of budget cuts. The new direction of the company led by Natalie (Anna Kendrick) to fire people via live web cam chat. Cutting travel expenses for the company by 85%. Ryan, not happy about his oh so precious traveling lifestyle being slammed to a screeching halt professes to Craig(Bateman) that the new plan could never work due to the personality of the job nature. He is accorded a final hurah to show Natalie how it was meant to be done, thing is, Natalie has to go along for the ride.

Along their journey Bingham's life that should have been comes in to the picture, via his sister Kara Bingham ( Amy Morton) and the ever continuing drama that is Alex.

The Direction that is this movie captained by Jason Reitman is magnificent, he constructs the onion that is Ryan Bingham, then starts to masterfully uncover the layers of love, family, humanity and potential change that make Clooney's Bingham is a character that you really begin to feel for. Reitman's work is near flawless. Clooney, Harmiga and Kendrick are talent incarnate.

I honestly didn't want to see this film, my wife asked me to take her and I can truly say that I loved it. I expected droll and gray and got exactly that and much more.

BruceVain
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Halloween II (2009)
7/10
Halloween II (2009) Just another installment in the series?
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Halloween II" (2009) I once had this dream that I was being pursued by unkillable Michael Myers, (albeit the pace was quite slow,still scary non the less). After being chased to near breathless, I escape back into my haven of safety...my bed! I close the door and lock it, to only have it smashed in by the William Shatner mask wearing Myers. I awaken, heart rate jacked glad to realize it was only a dream. As I lay my head back down to the pillow, the door comes splintering apart reminiscent of the original 1978 Halloween. The infamous dream in a dream, very funny Mr. Sandman!! In so many ways Halloween II (2009) produces that same vision of true fear. The carnal product that is Michael Myers, how he should be portrayed and how I should feel when I see him.

Halloween is a direct reflection of development of the franchise. Zombie's excessive violence is right on par. Michael Myers (Taylor Mane) is a deeply tormented supernatural force that cannot be stopped and any one that gets in his way....should do only one thing....move! Zombie's Halloween II (2009) achieves definitive success in more than one instance. 1) He truly understands the importance of showcasing Michael Myers strength....when he stabs you and lifts you off the ground with his knife( which has to be a custom made knife, no kitchen has a knife that big), I'd say he is pretty strong. A clothesline that inverts his victim in a rapid rate behind a dirty strip club sends him filling out an application for Vaudeville. 2) He keeps his killer on his home turf...the night! Zombie made this mistake in the 2007 reboot, bringing Michael out in the day does nothing but scream, not scary! 3) Recasting of Taylor Mane, at 6ft 8in Mane brings the bogeyman that is Michael Myers to new heights.

The darker more violent direction that this film undergoes, Zombie really makes his own, to finally breakaway from honoring the past and paving a new route into the future was great to see.

A few elements that I could have lived without were the return of his "The Devils Rejects" troupe. Typecasting is not an aspired ambition and should be avoided entirely in Pre-Production.

With a budget of 15million for each film, I would guess that a higher rate actress, at least one with better acting ability would have been cast for the Iconic role of Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton). She almost inconceivably develops into a plausible character, in either film.

Rob Zombie's second installment of the Halloween Mythos was simply carried by violence, any sibling link with mother and brother was lost in the slashing. As a fan of the series I enjoyed it very much, simply because Michael Myers is a bad mofo. Any time you get to witness the shocking strength that is Michael Myers you are in for a real trick......or treat? BruceVain
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Martyrs (2008)
8/10
Bobby Flay has nothing on Martyr's "Martyr's"
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Let's start with a checklist of Horror/Shocking film elements and rate them on a scale of 1-5, (1) being Disney's Up and (5) being High Tension or Ishi the Killer and everything in between. Let's begin!

1. Violence- Martytr's definitely serves up heaps of violence. My favored scene(besides the shocker noted in #4) would be the random acts(slicing) inflicted upon Lucie( Myl'ene Jampanoi) by her "Haunting female creature" or the shotgunning down of an entire family (a few had it coming). It was no Halloween II but it was quite violent. BruceVain Rating on Violence- (5) Ishi all the way

2. Gore- Even films that have a decent budget can have over the top gore, or scenes that just don't look real or even worse CGI gore. Martyr's displays a minimal measure of gore, but when they do, they really take it to the next level and make it work. There is a scene where a women that has been held captive for who knows how long has a metal blindfold on. Fence staples are used to keep it in place and when they remove them, they can bleed a lot!! It appears that the skin has grown around the blindfold and when it is finally removed, the slime like puss from infection really screams quality GORE! Another example of the effects is a scene where Lucie is fighting with her "Haunting Female Creature" and the creature uses a straight razor and cuts into Lucie's arm lengthwise, from behind the elbow to the wrist, reminded me of "Fatal Attraction". I watch a lot of horror and this scene actually gave me chills. BruceVain Rating on Gore- (5) High Tension Style

3. Abuse- Apparently the M.O. of the film, trying to induce enough of it to promote transcendence in order to see the afterlife. In fact, the victims are not victims at all they are put through this process to make them into Martyr's( Greek for Witness). Hoping that they can see what lies after death. BruceVain Rating on Abuse-(5) Ishi all the way

4. Flaying a Human Alive- To reach that final stage of transcendence this type of systematic abuse must be inflicted, and it is portrayed right before your eyes. This scene in particular is a testament to the acting and Direction, the pain in Anna's(Morjana Alaoui) eyes is characterized exponentially for the viewer to experience. BruceVain Rating on Flaying a Human Alive-(5) shoot that's gotta hurt!

There were a few elements that I was not a fan of, for instance the film grain effect used in the opening and closing scenes. I was hoping that this would not continue for the remainder of the film....it didn't. If I failed to mention this film is in French and is subtitled, for the first 5 min, the subtitles are on the top of the screen rather than the normal bottom( I was peeved by this).

The Director Pascal Laugier deserves credit for the performances, how did he get those girls to cry non-stop? I felt the pacing was a little slow and a bit out of place. It seemed like a long 1:37 min because of it. Overall the film is a must see for an admirer of the genre and if you want shocking depiction of violence and abuse, Martyr's is for you.

If a horror/shock film were a Tachometer in a race car, Martyr's would be a blown engine.

Bruce Vain
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Inside (2007)
9/10
"Inside", truly a roller coaster of fear and suspense
3 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Inside" Inside is one of the greatest horror films to ever come out of France! Most recently the French have raised the bar with such titles as "Haute Tension" and "Martyr's( which in their own right are quite fantastic films of the genre, but "Inside" trumps them both. "Inside" is the Mona Lisa of all things horror.

The opening sequence begins with a baby in the womb and the voice of a women speaking to becalm the child. At which point an impact is received in the womb, the baby appears to have induced the blow. The impact was caused by a car accident. An expectant mother in the drivers seat is seen trying to come to sorts, looks over to the passenger seat to find her husband overcome by his injuries.

A few months later Sarah (Allyson Paradis) is instructed to return to the hospital in the morning for labor to be induced. That night(Christmas Eve) Sarah prepares for the next morning, when a knock at the door disrupts the low-key evening. The voice at the other end of the door asks to use the telephone. Sarah denies the visitor, but the stranger persists. Sarah eventually lies and states that her husband has gone to bed and opening the door would be a bad idea to wake him. The assiduous nuisance replies to Sarah that she doesn't have a husband-her husband is dead. Sarah immediately contacts the authorities. For them to arrive and find nothing. Except for when she settles her head down for the night to fall asleep, the outline depiction of a women is seen standing in Sarah's bedroom. The baffling stranger continues her compulsion for something Sarah has and holds dear to her heart....inside her stomach.

"Inside was horror personified. One of the most suspenseful films I've ever seen. Across the board this film was well presented and executed. The entirety of the movie takes place in an apartment house, which produces a high anxiety setting for the viewer to crawl about. The scenes of horrific gore were very well produced. Nothing looked overdone, there is not a bit of exploitation here. Aside from some CGI work in the beginning, the effects were painstakingly realistic( not that I have seen someone getting their hand stabbed to a door with a pair of scissors). One scene in particular that is infinitely burned inside my brain is the sharp poker into one end and out the other of a humans neck or that same devious poker into the arm of La Femme ( Beatrice Dalle).

As "Inside" makes the final turn toward the home stretch, the suspense is so thick, hopefully your doorbell doesn't ring( cause you will poop yourself). "Inside" has incredible elements of pure terror, just another reason why this French film is a must see. I was literally talking to my television warning and steering the characters in different directions, unfortunately to no avail.

Overall a well written, perfectly paced roller coaster of suspense, horror and acting so good it brings you into that terrible, terrible world that is "Inside" and just when you thought you may receive a reprieve from the action "Inside" brings you gore so shockingly realistic Valium should come with every rental.

BruceVain
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