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larzmachine
Reviews
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)
Wretched. I can't believe Dustin Hoffman was in this piece of dreck. Contains spoilers, but it doesn't really matter.
Yes, it's a pretty movie, chock full of eye candy, and that's it.
The "plot" is like something out of a bad B-horror movie: cretin wanders aimlessly about, murdering hookers and rendering down their corpses to make magical ancient Egyptian perfume while pretending to be a mild- mannered perfumer's assistant. No real explanation is given for WHY he has to render down corpses to make this magical perfume, just a bunch of horsehockey about chords and how nobody has ever made a perfume with as many ingredients as he wanted to, it was impossible, etc. So of course he does.
Saying it was plodding and predictable would be a compliment. You can see almost everything coming a mile away, the few exceptions being events that are simply baffling in their idiocy -- like if Mister Rogers suddenly launched into a rendition of the Sodomy song from Meet the Feebles in the middle of a segment. No, you didn't see it coming, but it makes absolutely no sense for it to be in there.
Don't waste the buck to rent this wretched excuse for a movie. Porn has more skin, and even old '50s B movies had better acting and scripts.
Burn Up W (1996)
Pretty, but dumb.
The animation is gorgeous, as are the ladies, but let's face facts: this is the anime equivalent of Enemy Gold or other late-night HBO flicks where the point is to show as much jiggle as possible without quite crossing into porn. Admittedly, it's pretty funny at times, but the real attraction is the ladies.