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bryduck
Reviews
Porklips Now (1980)
This is, without a doubt, the funniest spoof ever.
"Hardware Wars" has its moments, but *every* moment in "Porklips Now" works for me. From Billy Gray's uncanny Sheen-like look and sound, to the incredibly and purposefully stupid dialog, to the spot-on Brando take at the end, "Porklips" is a masterpiece. When I first saw this on the original VHS tape that included "Hardware Wars" and "Bambi Meets Godzilla", I was working in a small video store where we were allowed to watch just about anything we wanted. This became a prized screening choice among all of us who had seen "Apocalypse Now", to the extent that we had to restrain ourselves from showing it every day, lest we grow tired of it. That never happened, btw . . . We need a DVD!
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Excruciating. Simply Excruciating.
When thinking of this movie, I only need to remember one thing: Kate Capshaw spends the entire movie shrieking in agonized fear. This is not what I consider acting, but after having seen this movie I have always been inclined to join her anyway. I loved Raiders, and Sean Connery's appearance as the dad enlivened the third, but this one needed a major job of rewriting and recasting. I usually compare the notion of watching this mess again to watching two hours of watching a blank screen, and darned if the blank screen doesn't win every time!
What Lies Beneath (2000)
Oh My God, this was horrible!
I cannot believe Harrison Ford signed up for this wretched tripe. Utterly predictable (the worst sin imaginable for a horror/thriller)--even given the "twist" regarding the killer's identity--and amazingly confused, this ranks as the worst major release of its genre since "Sleeping With the Enemy". I cannot believe this made the big bucks it did . . .
Supergirl (1984)
Unbelievably bad!
I saw this movie at a free screening and was so disgusted I wanted my money back! It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen--boring, poorly written and acted, and woodenly directed--and that is saying something. Please do yourself the favor and never pay money to see this, ok?
Thief (1981)
The best mix of visuals and sounds since Leone!
I love this movie! The noirish look of the rain-soaked streets, combined with the alternately dreamy or pulse-pounding atmospheric score by Tangerine Dream, makes this one of the more viscerally appealing openings in modern cinema, and the film takes off from there. The terse and gritty dialogue, uttered with either calculated restraint (especially from the demoniacally-lit Prosky at one point), or often-repressed rage, is kept to a properly hard-boiled minimum. Caan's best performance, and a Michael Mann highlight.