Change Your Image
brianfizzy
Reviews
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)
The sound of 2 million girls hitting puberty!
This movie is incredibly phallic. Joe takes off his shirt (this causes a screaming frenzy in the audience!) The Jonas Brothers spray Fire Hoses filled with foam onto the faces and heads of the audience 99% of which are preteen girls. It was almost pornographic. Thankfully all of this seem to go over the heads of my two under 10 daughters. The movie starts in a tribute to The Beatles "Hard Days Night" with screaming fans chasing the Jonas Brothers around the streets of New York. But the director is no Richard Lester and you can't compare the films. I gave it a higher rating, it's probably a 5, but so many haters voted lower. On the plus side, the music is OK. At least it's a little bit Rock N Roll (a little bit country with Taylor Swift, and kind of mediocre with Demi Lovato (her outfit made it look like she has a penis? phallic phashion?) The 3D is incredible. It's come a long way from "Creature Of The Black Lagoon"
Speed Racer (2008)
Amazing Fun! Ahead of it's time!
I was amazed at how great this movie is. I loved the Speed Racer cartoons as a kid, I use to watch it via UHF antenna on Channel 52. But how do you make an Anime classic into a live action film? Well what the Wachowski brothers have done is genius. (I loved the 1st Matrix movie, thought the 2nd had moments and the 3rd one Jumped the Shark!) But Speed is definitely up there with the first "Matrix". This movie is so ahead of it's time, the visuals are amazing, It's Pop Art come to life! It has elements of "Tron", "Clockwork Orange" and "Death Race 2000" and it's still a family film. It's like Walt Disney, Andy Warhol and Kubrick decided to make a film together. I can see why people hated this film, it's like nothing they've ever seen. I predict this will become a cult classic in the near future....but see it on an IMAX screen if you can and enjoy the ride.
Idiocracy (2006)
A Great Sci-Fi Comedy!
I've never seen a movie get a worse release then this. And that's a shame, as this is the funniest film of the year! You would think an ad with the line "From the director of "Office Space"" would be enough to warrant a big release! But there are no ads, no posters, no website , I doubt the stars even knew it came out this weekend. What is 20th Century Fox thinking? Mike Judge's Sci-Fi comedy is set in 2505 but it could come true in about 10 years (if things continue as they are.) Luke Wilson and Maya Rudolph get frozen in a top secret army experiment and wake up in a future full of consumer zombie inbred retards. The film reminds me of Woody Allen's "Sleeper" ,"RoboCop", "Planet of the Apes", "Blade Runner" and "Network" and the late great "Futurama". Try to see it before Fox burns all the prints!
National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A Classic 70's Comedy!
What can be said about this masterpiece? This is the classic college high jinks comedy that launched a thousand inferior copy-cat movies throughout the 80's. John Belushi is brilliant. Not since Buster Keaton has an actor's facial expressions and body language received such big laughs without any dialog being spoken. Belushi gives a near silent pitch perfect performance as the slob "Bluto". This is John Landis at his directorial peak, he also directed the fine "Kentucky Fried Movie," "Blues Brothers", "Trading Places" and "An American Werewolf in London". But after that he really tanked, not since Peter Bogdanovich has a director created such a fine body of work, only to be followed by worthless crap. But I digress! National Lampoon's Animal House has an engaging story, characters and cast. Tim Matheson also gives his best performance as the confident frat leader "Otter" (the date with Fran Liebowitz is classic). Along with "Young Frankenstein", "Blazing Saddles" and "What's Up Doc", one of the greatest comedies of the 70's.
Red Eye (2005)
Laughable!
A suspense film, that has more in common with "Airport 1975" then any Wes Craven horror movie. An unbelievable plot, characters that seem to have stepped out of a sit-com, and below "TV movie" quality production. Is it my imagination or are most films getting dumber and dumber, I guess Hollywood (or is it Toronto now?) is going for a 10 year old male demographic, or severely retarded adults. But it does have it's laughs (all unintentional). There's a great scene where Rachel's girl in peril character gets head- butted by Cilian's psycho character, and she passes out for a few minutes (funny stuff) and another where they fight, kick and wrestle in the plane's restroom. I guess if I could say one thing positive about "Red Eye" it would be that Rachel McAdams ("Mean Girls","Wedding Crashers") is a total fox.... but she can't act! Cilian Murphy (who fought off zombies in "28 Days Later") gets to play one in this.
Elizabethtown (2005)
Fake,Corny and Dumb!
Here is a typical 2005 Hollywood movie! Hollow, full of clichés, corny dialog, fake characters, and an unbelievable story. If there was an award for most montages in a single film "Elizabethtown" would win, hands down!! The music, which is a centerpiece in most Cameron Crowe movies is loud, distracting and pointless (I think he was going for a "Breaking the Waves" kind of emotion, but fails miserably). Every part of this film feels like it was cobbled together out of some other better movies. The story is about a young successful guy Drew (Orlando Bloom) who while working at a Nike-type company, loses them close to a billion dollars on a bad shoe design, and is now going to commit suicide, but his Dad suddenly dies. So his Sister (Judy Greer) and Mom (Susan Sarrandon) make him go to the funeral (Why the sister and mom don't go is never really explained). On the flight there he meets wacky Stewardess Kirsten Dunst (only in the movies kids! ) who spouts random cute phrases to Drew. He arrives in cliché ridden Elizabethtown, Kentucky where everyone is a "friendly southern type". My friend wanted to walk out at this point, but I made him stay to see if there was any point. There wasn't! Boy is this movie corny, and weird! The strangest scenes include a fire breaking out, as a cover band plays "Free Bird", and everyone runs out of the burning hall. This is played for laughs! It instantly made me think of the fire that killed all those people at the "Great White" concert, but it was played for laughs! Unbelievable! Every character is a southern cliché! The dumb cousin, the loving Aunt,the crazy mom,neurotic sister...etc. Just sketches of characters, no real people. Susan Sandon has an embarrassing scene where she tap dances to "Moon River". Orlando Bloom (Drew) tries his best (to cover his accent) and Kirsten Dunst (Clare, a Scientology reference?) tries too hard (she seems like a stalker, I half expected her to strangle Orlando at some point) Another strange scene is where Orlando scatters his fathers ashes at the sight where Martin Luther King was killed. Why? Who knows, but it leads into the U2 hit "One"......oh what an indulgent mess. Maybe next time Cameron Crowe can just invite us over to his house and play us his favorite generic records and show us his home movies.
Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)
Fun update on "the Love Bug"
This movie was way better then I was lead to believe! Here is a cute, family friendly, update of Disney's "The Love Bug". The story is brisk and zippy and the soundtrack is loaded with great songs from the 70's & 80's (they even feature the original George Bruns' theme from the 1968 classic). The casting is great, Lindsay Lohan is charming and Matt Dillon (in a role similar to his "Something About Mary" character) gives some much needed humor. Also Michael Keaton gives it some dramatic backbone (Wow! Has this guy's career ever tanked! But this is a big step up from "Jack Frost") It would have been nice to see Dean Jones in a cameo, and perhaps they went a little crazy with the CG, but oh well....It's nice to have Herbie back!
Another Nice Mess (1972)
I Can't Believe It's Finally Listed!
I thought I dreamed this movie! Growing up in North Hollywood I saw this "GEM" at the Lankershim Theater with my brothers (who confirmed that it existed). We thought it was hysterical as Rich Little imitates Oliver Hardy /Nixon and Herb Voland plays Stan Laurel /Spiro Agnew. Why? I don't know,but it was funny.They go golfing and Nixon swings back and hits Spiro in the crotch with his golf club (which at 8 years old is a big laugh)....maybe it's bad, but as a kid I thought it was the funniest film ever made. I ranked it right up there with George C. Scott in "Bank Shot" and Dick Van Dyke in "Cold Turkey"! ...so when's the DVD release?