Change Your Image
fredreiland
Reviews
Everybody Hates Chris (2005)
You can add us to the list of Chris Haters
My wife and I watched most (if not all) of the Everybody Hates Chris episodes when they first aired on broadcast TV. We now own the entire series on DVD, and at first were very much enjoying the show - but lately, not so much. They surely could not have chosen a better cast; everybody does such a great job (everyone but a certain Caucasian boy, anyway) and each of them were over-the-top hilarious in the first season... but things seemed to taper off rapidly in the second year, and got even worse in the third. One factor which worked for the show's benefit was that it did NOT actually star Chris Rock - clearly one of the most obnoxious, loud-mouthed fools in Hollywood - though, surprisingly, his voice-overs blended well with the action as we got to know the characters and learn their idiosyncrasies. But in the second season the various actors mostly seem to be firmly "stuck in their ruts", simply doing and saying the sort of things we have come to expect from them. Did the writers get lazy, or is this just the way things must naturally play out? And then, rather than giving us occasional, amusing insight into the lives and behavior of his family and friends, the Chris Rock narration has become one loud, intrusive racial or political "joke" after another - which is often completely unnecessary and annoying. Sometimes it seems like Rock's big mouth intrudes after nearly every spoken line, and his personal racism is on prominent display while he regularly blurts comments like "Not if you're black!" or "Not if you're white!" - which have NOTHING to do with the plot, and only serve to illustrate what an ignorant (and wealthy) fool he is. (Sure, "black" people have NO chance of making it big in The USA... strange how some of the most affluent ones are endlessly beating that drum.) Many of his other remarks are "digs" at President Bush as well as other political figures and celebrities who have long since faded from the scene, so the jokes usually fall flat. We certainly aren't watching an episode or two every night like we started out, and are wondering how much more of this annoying mess we will bother to sit through.
Panic in Year Zero! (1962)
Plot holes big enough to fly a 747 through
WARNING - this review contains details which may be considered by some to "spoil" a movie, which, in my opinion, is already so BAD that it is BEYOND spoiling!
Apparently, I chose a rather unconventional approach to viewing this film; rather than to shut one eye, squint thru the other and do my absolute best to "enjoy" it, regardless of all the glaring inconsistencies - or perhaps seek to superimpose a Post-Katrina America commentary on it all (as many "reviewers" have done), I simply watched it with my normal objective outlook, taking the story at face value. And that story failed miserably! Starting with the big, cloudy, barely-discernible (supposed) "explosion"... we don't ever learn what it truly WAS - or the cause behind it (as in "who" or "why") - but just seeing the thing is good enough for Ray Milland to pack up his family and head for the hills before "the bad people" can get on the move. What comes next is unbelievably silly to the point of being laughable - because terminally-grouchy Mister Milland begins taking steps to BECOME one of those "bad people" - eagerly getting involved in theft, assault, armed robbery, manslaughter (or murder, you decide)... all in the name of "preserving civilization". Sure, okay. It is perfectly acceptable to be a violent thug as long as HE is the one doing it! I won't get into the details of all the ensuing foolishness, since other reviewers have gone out of their way to make excuses for all of the illogical claptrap which follows. Long, tedious and ludicrous story short - if you are able to find this plot "interesting" enough to sit through it to the bitter end, then you probably won't even mind that the "hero" of the tale NEVER finds out what actually happened in the outside world; whether or not the entire continent was obliterated by nuclear holocaust, or if there had been an invading army (and a ground war which could still be raging)... no, he has NO idea what he will be returning to. And that is supposed to be a good enough reason for the viewer, as well. Because what it all boils down to is that this family went off and hid in the hills to behave like savages for a while, and now it suddenly has become a Happy Ending.
Wow - what A GREAT movie! (NOT)
The Ballad of Andy Crocker (1969)
A complete waste of an hour and a half
WARNING - THIS REVIEW CONTAINS A NUMBER OF SPOILERS which may save you the awful experience of suffering thru the movie itself!
When I was 12years old, I saw this flick and thought it was pretty cool - mainly because of the motorcycle theme. I sat thru it again years later and realized what an absolute farce it is! The story is so badly flawed on so many levels it is ridiculous. I can't imagine someone with an objective outlook feeling sympathetic to the lead character, Andy Crocker - because he is clearly a moron who cannot make one intelligent decision. Ever. Okay, so he had a rough time in Viet Nam, but he came back home to learn that the rest of the world had gone on just fine without him. His lame "motorcycle shop" (an empty room with a few automotive v-belts hanging on the wall) has supposedly gone right down the tubes and his partner also had the nerve to sell the hoist (something which NO bike shop needs)... his girlfriend is married and pregnant, and nobody around him is interested in overhauling the Present to bring back Andy's longed-for (and long-gone) Past. Apparently, you are expected to consider this brainless dreamer to be the "hero" of the story - in spite of the fact that he steals a motorcycle, beats up his best friend, runs off for a secret fling with his (now married) ex-girlfriend and then tells his father that he wasted his entire life by being a truck driver. Again and again Andy is offered gainful employment - as well as three thousand dollars (a LOT of money in 1969) for his half of the nonexistent bike business - three thousand more to simply leave his old girlfriend alone... but, no - this fool can't see the logic in any of that! He would rather ignore all of the offers, go visit the girl again, have a warrant posted for his arrest - get in a big chase with the cops, throw the stolen bike off a cliff... and ultimately re-enlist in the army. Yeah, I felt sorry for the guy, all right. Sorry that he was such an incredible blockhead from one end of that film to the other!!!