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j_stromoski
Reviews
Game of Thrones: A Telltale Games Series (2014)
Your decisions don't really matter.
I will admit, the first play-through of the first episode was very fun when I started the game. You are presented with a variety of options for the characters to choose, which will(presumably) lead to different outcomes in the future. The story was engaging enough to keep my interest and the raw brutal nature of the world is as Game of Thrones as you can get. Punishments are severely harsh and the politics lay the groundwork for the story. Ultimately, it seemed like a very intricate and engaging game of choice, like you'd want from a simulation of living in the GoT world.
The SECOND play-through, however, reveals the game's biggest flaw: Your decisions don't really matter. It was very disappointing. Even as I made completely different decisions, the outcomes were the same. The biggest moments of the story were unchanged as were the consequences of your decisions. As we all know, the heart and soul of GoT is that what you do renders consequences, which is not represented here whatsoever. The game takes it upon itself to enforce the finality regardless of what you do. It ceases to be a game at that realization.
Contrivance is an undesirable element when watching a story unfold, at least for me, and it is present throughout the chapter. Gared fails to save Lord Forrester and WILL be sent to the wall, Mira fails to please Cersei and WILL NOT garner aid for her family, and Ethan fails to appease Lord Whitehill and WILL be killed. I must have played the first chapter 4-5 different ways and these outcomes were absolutely unavoidable. The game will even contradict my choices to ensure the outcome, making me question what the hell the point is in the first place.
For instance, if you choose to have Gared stay, the game will tell you "Nope, he's going to the wall anyway". Just as if you decide to only let Ramsay inside the castle, his men come in anyway and take over. These immediate contradictions to your choices are frustrating and betray the notion that you have any control whatsoever. An overall waste of time, except for a few minor dialogue and setting replacements.
I'll admit, I did not pay for he next episode, so I can not speak to whether the new choices would yield any significant consequences to the main narrative, but if the play-through was as contrived as the first, then I would guess not. After playing this chapter, the only possible enjoyment I can see anyone having would be from the story unfolding(ignoring the contrivances), rather than from any personal contributions they make. Would NOT recommend.
Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015)
Get ready to cringe.
Sally Field does the best job in the world with a terrible character that should not be the lead focus of a movie. A lot of people will probably say that Field's character was "charming" or "eccentric", but I'm 100% creeped out by this woman. Nearly every choice this woman makes in this movie is wrong. She manipulates situations to wiggle her way into a young man's life to try and seduce him. Putting aside the role is a harmless old lady played by innocent-looking Sally Field, if the script was flipped the movie would be even more unappealing. Imagine Burt Reynolds hitting on Anna Kendrick...precisely.
From the word "Go" she lies about who she is, what she likes, even orchestrating a pseudo-sexual situation where he needs to fill her ball with his pump. Yeah, that happens. Doris is so obsessed with this man that she stoops to making a fake profile on Facebook to try and get information on him. She stalks him to a concert, follows him around when he's on a date, then later she uses her fake profile to sabotage the relationship he's in.
And the ending, my God. What a vague message, what a pointless moral, what an unlikely unfolding of events considering the context of everything that happened prior. The writers and director actually suggest that despite her sabotage, her lying, the massive age difference and over-all questionable mental health of this woman, the young man actually wants her. Just an example of how this movie allows itself to suspend reality for the sake of lame humor and weak story. People don't talk the way that people in this movie talk, the whole story is so far-fetched, and the supporting cast might as well be magic 8-balls since their only function is to be as mildly amusing as possible while the main characters bounce dialogue off of them. If you're old, you might like it slightly, if you're not, then definitely not.
Love Actually (2003)
Wonderful, Charming, Funny, and Genius
First of all, I have to say that the entire casting for this movie was perfect. Bill Nighy as the aged, old school rocker, Colin Firth as the hopeless romantic who gets his heart broken, Emma Thompson as the betrayed wife and Alan Rickman the husband. Yet, out of all the stories told in this masterpiece, I found Liam Neeson's to be the most touching. The step-father who raises his step-son after the loss of his wife, and ultimately teaches him about the love his step-son feels for a girl at school.
Every single story that pieced together this movie was brilliant, simply because it was relatable on some level. I would watch Hugh Grant stumble to make idle chit-chat with his assistant Natalie and would faintly remember my high school days where I would try and fail to talk to the quiet, pretty girl who sat next to me in nearly every class. It was funny when it needed to be funny, romantic when your heart was aching, and just sad enough for you to see how real it all is.
If you haven't seen this movie, then do. I was instantly a huge fan of it. Partly because I like British humor, and partly because I love romantic comedies...when they're as good as this. The only problem I can see is that this movie should have been just a tad longer, and given each story more time for you to appreciate them that much more. Also, John Cleese was missing. All in all, I would strongly suggest seeing it and develop your own opinion.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Why, John Carpenter, Why?
This movie was not Halloween III. This movie was not about witches. Hence, my low rating for this movie. I am infuriated, insulted, and over-all confused by this movie. Here's the deal: Michael Myers died at the end of Halloween II, but was alive at the beginning of Halloween 4. Also, during the span of time in between the movies, Jamie Curtis had a kid and died, which also went unexplained. You would think Halloween III would explain HOW any of this happened, but this movie failed to do that.
Masks that kill people had no correlation for any of the other Halloween movies. Honestly, I didn't watch it. I sat through the first 15 minutes, and having been thoroughly unsatisfied by the story, fast-forwarded straight through to the end. I have no problem with the fact that John Carpenter wanted a different story for the series, but find it insulting that nothing about this movie had ANYTHING to do with the series.
I saw Halloween 4 and 5 on AMC when I was 13 and then 1 and 2 during next years horror movie marathon. So, Halloween III was in fact the last one I saw. I thought everything would finally fall into place, that it would all be explained. I felt angry, baffled, hurt, but over-all disappointed. I'm left with questions unanswered, suspense without climax, and no explanation for any of it. Just like 2001: A Space Odyssey.