Reviews

As I compile my list of worst films of the year, certainly Land of the Lost and Year One will have to be in contention, but this week's releases: I Love You Beth Cooper and Bruno currently head the list, though not in that order. Bruno lacks the originality of Borat -- and it takes vulgarity to a level that leads me to believe that the MPAA is no longer interested in doing its job. If 30 seconds straight (it felt like HOURS) of a penis literally being wagged in your face cannot earn an NC-17 then I do not know what will.

While I checked the spoiler alerts box, one can not spoil Bruno -- it has already gone bad. The audience with whom I watched it never laughed, not once. Cringed? Yes. Groaned? Certainly. But the film simply was not funny. The kind of "look at me; aren't I superior" voyeur humor that Cohen tries to use collapses under the weight of its own tedium.

Instead of feeling sorry for his victims, by the end of the film I just felt sorry for Cohen. I cannot imagine what kind of demons must haunt a man to make his stoop so low for so little.

The trailer for Land of the Lost makes it look like it could easily be a family film. Nothing could be further from the truth. The film contains profanity, one particularly bad word is uttered by Farrel, and a number of very explicit sexual references. In fairness, the MPAA rated this film PG-13 and explains that it contains crude sexual references, but the previews make this look like an action/adventure movie. Additionally, Farrell's character makes a completely unnecessary blasphemous comparison of himself to Jesus on the cross. I know that Farrell is an acquired taste. I thought he was great in Stranger Than Fiction, but he is back to wide-eyed stupidity in this film, it is not funny, and the film does not work. I predict long lines of parents asking for refunds and feeling misled by the trailers. This film may accidentally have a big opening weekend, but expect sharp declines in week two as word gets out about this stinker.

The Golden Compass was one of the most anticipated films of the year. With a budget well north of $150 million and a best seller as source material, expectations were high. Despite all of the debate about the His Dark Materials books, the trailers made this film look like an awesome adventure fantasy. All I can say is ----- yawn.

Yes, some of the visuals work, but most look like set pieces. The integration level for many effects is low. Despite similar budgets, LOTR blows this film out of the water on every level. Compare any battle scene in LOTR with any battle scene in The Golden Compass and you will see what I mean. I never felt that Lyra was ever truly in peril.

The worst problem is the storyline. Screenwriter Chris Weitz significantly deviates from Pullman's book -- stopping very short of the dramatic conclusion of the first book in Pullman's series. I know that he was ordered to tone down the anti-Christian content of the novels, but instead of merely sanitizing the screenplay, he leaves out the climax. The scenes feel disjointed and you never get a chance to really care about any of the characters.

There are a lot of transition/traveling scenes and director Chris Weitz (yes, he bears double blame for this disaster) commits the ultimate cinema sin -- he spends too much time telling and not enough time showing. Even the scenes with the alethiometer become repetitive and tiresome.

Dakota Blue Richards does a creditable job as Lyra Bellaqua, but those expecting Daniel Craig (as Lord Asriel) to have much screen time will be horribly disappointed. He barely appears. Christian groups will not have to do any picketing to make this film tank. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to sit through it twice. Once was more than enough for me. Don't waste the money -- certainly not full price. If you want to see a truly magical film this holiday season, see Enchanted instead.