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kaporal-kriss
Reviews
Barbarossa (2009)
An elaborate joke
This movie is a very elaborate joke, with a incredible punchline, but it take 2 hours to get there...
2 hours you will never get back.
So yes there will be spoiler...
Two hours where nothing really happen except a siege, a siege where Rutger Hauer, as the main villain of the movie, explain to us what a siege is (What? We are going to wait for them to get tired and starved? How brilliant!)...well thanks for all the info O mighty King Obvious the first.
After some treason, some tribulations of a guy who like to say to everyone that he as founded the COMPANY OF DEATH and that he is ready to die for FREEDOM. There is also two sisters (I think) one of them as been strike by lightning, witch make her ''special'', and for god know what reason she is the love interest of the movie.
Then after many boring speech where they remind all who can hear that they are the COMPANY OF DEATH they go fight the army of the cruel king...for FREEDOM. Then the joke is on you, after an hilariously bad battle scene, it is revealed that the king got beaten...OFF SCREEN! Yes the main antagonist of the movie die, disappear, got defeated, you really stop to care once you get there, off screen! And then they found the love interest in an Armour... in the middle of the battlefield...for no good reason. Why his she there? how she got there?...we will never know. Then the movie remind us how accurate historically he is. And then the credits. And then you realizing that that movie was just one weird joke.
I don't recommend it, unless you have a very weird sense of humour....
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Can we have a reboot now?
Hurrah! 3 transformers movies, and that third one is quite better then the precedent ( and since it was rise of the fallen was one of the worst movie of 2009, its was not very difficult to top). But here we are, it was a fun brainless ride and I really like it, mister Bay finally was able to create actions sequences that wasn't just scraps metals shaking on the screen. By making the Autobots in brighter colours the fight scene now make sense and are quite enjoyable, two or three time i just had to turn toward my girlfriend and exclaim, ''whoa! I just understand what happened!'' But it leave me a bit bitter.
It took me time to figure out what was so wrong with dark side of the moon (and the trilogy in general) and here goes, I wont rehash what have been said a thousand time about the bad script and mindless explosion, no, I will just say that Micheal Bay don't understand is source material but more importantly he got a lousy moral compass. We have a movie where heroes (yes, the heroes) MUTILATE, DISMEMBER, EXECUTE and are hellbent on GENOCIDE and the list goes on, the malaise begin when Optimus put a bullet in the head of a random Decepticon in the second movie like it was nothing.
And that, beyond anything else show that Bay doesn't care, its okay for the heroic character to dismember opponent for fun, for Optimus to kill brutally is mentor and none of them seem to raise and eyebrow when their home(cybertron, who look like a huge, ugly, planetoid, hive) got seemingly destroyed, because they are NOT characters, they are NOT heroic sentient machine, they are special effect pure and simple. I wouldn't mind if the movie was called Marines VS Machines or something, but hey its the Transformers where talking about here.
So it was okay,in a dumb and fun kind of way, buts its time to move on, lets someone with real audacity and imagination take a shot, awesome thing could be done with that property other then selling Bud light and GM truck.
Oh and as far as pointless insertion of useless token babe goes, Megan Fox was better, at least she as some real acting skill.