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trumpydumpy2001
Reviews
The 13th Warrior (1999)
This movie was simply awful!
I am warning you all that my comments may contain "spoilers"? But how can you spoil what is already garbage? How this movie is rated over a 5 is beyond me.
The producers of this movie seem to have gotten so caught up in producing authentic looking dark age sets, that they forgot other important aspects such as dialog, characterization and PLOT! Before you even think of going out and renting this flick, let me spare you the experience and give you the entire hehe 'plot' in a nut-shell.
Arab guy is banished to Norway because the Kings wife loves him. Some little boy asks a group of Vikings for help because his village is being over-run. All of a sudden hundreds people in bear costumes show up, and 12 Vikings beat them off, then they come back, then the vikings beat them off, then they come back, then the vikings beat them off.
Then they get a bright idea! If we go to their lair and kill their mom, they will go away. So we have to suffer through an agonizing underground sequence which climaxes where the hero can barely defeat an old women holding a 2 inch bone. PSYCHE! It didn't work, and guess what, the Bears attack and the Vikings beat them off(this time with only 5 people). The End. Antonio Bandaras banishment is apparently over and he goes back to his homeland.
And what really makes this movie so special is that we actually CARE about the characters.
At First Sight (1999)
A little too cheesy
The producers of this movie had two good things going for them when developing this movie. 1. It was based on a true story. 2. It had a very interesting psychological dilemma of a blind man seeing for the first time.
The problem with the film was that the love story was a bit too cheesy. You know the kind of film where the chemistry between the actors just isn't there? This is one such example. Val Kilmer plays his part like one of those Pretty Boy Lifetime Television for Women 'nice guys' who go onto be psychotic wife beaters. And because 75% of the movie was a 'love story', this weakness pretty much ruined the film.
Seeing him struggle to learn to associate his new found vision with actual attributes such as shape, motion, and depth is mildly interesting, but not enough to keep the movie a float.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
I so wanted to like this movie
Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, in a modern remake or a classic tale. But somehow, this movie just fails at all levels. I never cared about one thing that happened to any of the characters. I didn't feel sucked into the setting, or any rising tension.
They used obvious cardboard cutout backgrounds, perhaps to add a certain theatrical charm to the film...but this seemed like a cardboard cutout movie. Just a bunch of scenes strung together, lacking in all intagibles.
I liked the Actors, and the story of Sleepy Hallow, but this movie was a flat liner as far as I'm concerned. I gave it a 5, as it didn't move me one way or the other.
Secret Window (2004)
Under-rated film
I've seen this film get rather unimpressive reviews. As if it were simply a watchable 'renter' for a rainey day. But I was actually quite suprised at how good it was, and I'm usually a pretty stern critic. It's not up to the level of a movie such as the Sixth Sense or the Ring, but it's defintily a few notches above 'run of the mill' similar thrillers such as Cold Creek Manor or 'What Lies Beneath'.
Perhaps this movie would have sucked without Johnny Depp, but with his performance, it all comes together and is a pretty good suspense thriller. It's even a bit more re-watchable because the movie is jammed full of subtle clues that there's no way you can pick them up the firs time around.
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1986)
This game has no ending!!
I had this game when I was a kid for the Commodore 64. I remember spending hours trying to get all the way through. Remember, back in those days, you couldn't save your progress. Once you died, you had to start all over from scratch.
Well, after dozens of hours of gameplay, I finally rescued the POW's fought off the Russian gunship and made it back to this big wall. There was no way around it! You simply get out and are shot at by an infinite number of Vietnamese soldiers until you are dead. It's a game you can't win. All I have to say about that is...WTF!
Am I missing something, or did the programmers consciencely decide to NOT give this game an ending? Did they run out of time?
Elizabeth (1998)
Good story and acting, but the plot is spacey
This is the kind of movie you have to watch at least twice. The movie jumps right into the plot, with all it's intricate characters plotting and scheming, and it's hard to figure out who has what agenda at first.
In a way, I felt it's potential wasn't realized. So much of the real action happenes behind the scenes, and we, the audience, are just shown the result. I'm not sure if this was deliberate, or if the makers were simply challenged with showing the interaction between so many characters in a 2 hour film.
Vaguely speaking, the situations and characters aren't really directly explained(in a traditional fashion), but the audience is left to sort out who everyone is. Anyway, it's a very unique movie and spawns great interest in the story.
It Runs in the Family (2003)
a plotless characterization film
This was a watchable but highly forgettable film. It bounces around from character to character, with material that is more like character development than a true story. I kept waiting for something to happen, some plot to develop, but it never really did. It was just like a comedic soap opera.
Not that this break from traditional style is all together bad, it's just not that good. I gave it an average 6 stars(mostly for the star power.
Mermaids (1990)
Wynonna Rider and Cher are excellent
Wynonna Rider was brilliant in this coming of age movie about a religiously obsessed young woman struggling with her sexuality. Cher and a young Christina Ricci round out the cast of dark eyed beauties. Good renter.
The Patriot (2000)
good, but kinda clique
This film is a good watch, especially if you enjoy the colonial era. But it didn't add much above or beyond what we've seen so many times from this genre(one man hero inspires revolt against evil king)
I gave it a 7.