Reviews

Is this a comedy? Is it a romance, is it a drama? I don't know, I asked myself "finish watching or go to bed" and I answered "go to bed, go to bed." And in the morning I asked myself "keep it for another night or return it to Red Box" and I answered "return it, return it." So I didn't watch the whole movie. I may never know. I do know it's bad. Really bad and I liked Amy Schumer. Not enough to watch this mess but I liked Amy Schumer. I expected "Amy behaving badly" but I imagined she might be funny. Nope. No such luck she's neither. Do yourself a kindness; don't waste your time; make it an early night and do what I did just go to bed.

Warning there are things you cannot unsee. This is the worst story since the worst "Saw" movie. The lease plausible movie since "Taken 2". It's about a comprehendible as "Predestination." Even those responsible for this ending don't understand it. Did Mary Bee Cuddy spring from the ground? There is zero foundation for the movies only interesting character. Perhaps I missed all of the vital foreshadowing; I did a lot of fast forwarding. The "screen writer" if there was one needs to contact me and explain. Where did she come from? How did she end up in Nebraska? Where did she get her money? What happened in her first 31 years because seriously did she awaken from coma? These people should be ashamed. Can a state sue for defamation? Who tended to her animals while she was gone? What was the ratio of men to women on the frontier? How much was $300 and why did Mary squander it? Why couldn't she get a hired hand? Sorry I digress. It's Hollywood arrogance run amuck. Skip it.

I liked it. I laughed. DW killed five Russian gangsters alone and bare handed. Then the new but not improved villain take his guys to the Home Depot where DW works. Sarcasm intended "hey great plan" I'm thinking OMG I'll need pen and paper to keep track of tools. Then I'll need more paper for the ways they die. It's the children of the corn scene from "Twister." This is a sequel to "A Million Ways to Die in the West" or "Man of Fire" no wait, does "Creasy" die at the end of that one? I don't get the title, is it meant to be ironic? "Equalizer" he doesn't take a gun because it wouldn't be fair. The idiots have everything but infrared. I love the line "He's not looking for help he's asking for permission!" Other movie quotes "Just how dangerous is he"; "Compared to what." "He could be right behind you and you wouldn't even know it til you're dead." "He can kill most men with his breath."

You know how Police Officers can't watch cop movies and physicists can't watch science fiction and lawyers can't watch, well, anything. Nobody can watch this. It is entirely implausible. I was constantly reminded of that scene from whichever of the Austin Power's movies where the kid says "just shoot him." "Give me the gun I'll shoot him" or something like that. Anyway this movie, no way. I too started to catalog all the foul ups I could not find that kind of time. Oh, the ex-wife, ick. Seriously ick. Makes me wonder if the first one was just a fluke. BAD MOVIE. Why oh why did they have to make this weren't there better ways to make a buck. Oh, love that line from the reviewer who wrote "Taken 2 as original as the title." Funny good line. I hope to do as well.

I want to add my review the chorus of complaints about this lousy movie. Two hours of a couple bickering does not a good movie make. This thing is awful. I skipped large parts of it. I must admit I did not know it was the third part of a trilogy. Perhaps if I cared about for these characters it would be different; like, lots worse. Perhaps that explains the 1 out of 10s. I can't blame them for giving it low marks. Seeing true love fall this far must be disheartening. These characters are stupid. They are not nice. They are not overly attractive. Hello, shave or don't but that stubble thing looks awful. I hate it when good movies go bad. Is anyone pleased with what George Lucas has done to "Star Wars." It's his movie, it's his right. I wanted more but I didn't promise to like it. Not good George. Not good. My sympathy goes out to the fans of the first two. Ratchat down your expectations way way down or skip this for I fear you are in for a huge disappointment.

Just, no. It has worthwhile aspects. It's about intelligent, literate people. I imagine they can find Brazil and count to 100. The scenery is beautiful. Everyone wants a California beach house. The cast is beautiful. The story is interesting but it's also immoral, shallow and predictable. I'm not a big Greg Kinnear fan, please shave. The opening peeping tom scene is just creepy. Ick; no thank you; my eyes, my eyes; dude there are things you cannot un-see. Is it just me, it's wrong to have casual sex with your married neighbor. Don't do it; failing that stop claiming to be "waiting"; failing that at least feel bad about it. Our lead displays none of those emotions. I get it, your ex-wife is banging a hunk with a six pack; you can't just stand there. I am not a stone. If Kristen Bell says 20 minutes I'm in trouble but you do not get to cheat on your spouse simply because he or she did first. These people are shallow. Although; perhaps not by Hollywood standards. Life offers lots of bad experiences too; to those, just say no. Here's a spoiler we never get any clues as to what happens to Kate, she's disposable. The worst part is I didn't expect to. I spent my evening correctly predicting huge parts of this movie and it wasn't all due to good foreshadowing. Here comes the dog. She gets drunk. She's dead. It feels like a copy of a copy. It doesn't ring true. It's deeply, desperately, passionately in love with whats-her-name.

Perhaps I should not review this movie as it is not for me I am not a teenage girl. After all I was warned. The cover art makes it clear this is a "Twilight" remake. Regrettably I was in the mood for some science fiction and I fell victim to temptation. No! This movie should come with a warning "contains only trace amounts of science fiction and no logic nor any explanations." These "advanced?" aliens drive cars and trucks and they fly ooh helicopters. No, I successfully did not watch any of the "Twilight" series and I was unprepared for how awful this is. I was enticed to watch and am now obligated to say I suspect this is pure evil but what do I know. I would like to add my review to the chorus of complaints about how creepy it is that a thousand year old alien bug is willing die for kiss and to hold hands with a handsome young earth hunk. Did this thing graduate high school; did it ride the short bus. Did that bother anyone else; how did bugs with sliver soap dishes take over? How does she write aliens so well she "thinks of a man and takes away reason and accountability." Parents y'all might check this out before your little girls are shooting arrows and dating the goth pizza delivery man. These "strong female leading characters" who are just going to die if they don't kiss the local vampire worry me. In this case this girl is specifically 19 and these guys are 25 & 27. People used to say a 27 year old dates a 19 year old for only one reason and it's not so she'll save humanity. There are like 6 billion people here now and this young lady is the only one who loves her little brother. Makes me glad I don't have an older sister. Ouch! So, she's the Bilbo Baggins of the human race. She's gonna have to be a lot more special than this. PLEASE be sure to brand all future films so I do not make this mistake again.

Not a bad movie. The girl is pretty. The fellows are brave. The subject matter is interesting. It's disappointing they didn't make a really great movie, like "Lawrence of Arabia". CONTAINS SPOILERS! The ending is predictable but the beginning makes it watchable. I was pleased it didn't turn into a mindless James Bond moment. I was delighted the Princess goes for the smart brother rather than the dashing one. "Smart is Sexy". The action is kind of gruesome. That's enough dead camels, thank you, please stop. I was disappointed the title has nothing to do with the movie. The comic relief was sparse but there. I like period pieces but it didn't pull me in. The meeting between the father and son is not intense. I hoped for a much better argument. These guys are supposed to be the best and the brightest and it gets off to a good start but then it fizzles. Better foreshadowing would have really helped the weak ending. Obviously a better ending might have been its own salvation. Watch it on a Sunday night with popcorn and a soda you'll be fine.

Positively delightful. Love the story. Love the messages. Young and free spirited are not crimes, God willing. I was shocked by its low rating. I intended not to be influenced. I may have failed; it might only be a 7. Beth (Rebecca Hall) really grew on me. Catherine redeemed herself after her awful role in "Playing for Keeps." I love Bruce Willis. I put "12 Monkeys" in the VHS for next.

Rats! Too few lines... I worry about people who did not like this movie. That's a strike against you. Ignore the currently 4.7 rating. Read those reviews; ick! Sorry I just watched "Spanglish." Despite the current moral climate, responsibility is not a dirty word. There are people you can trust, people you can't and people(like Beth)somewhere in between. It's time to man up.

I love this movie. I've seen it like a dozen times. I've seen selected scenes many more. The scene at Jacob's house is fantastic. I'm in love with Hanna Banana. Of course I can do lines. My mother didn't want to watch it because she doesn't care for Steve Carell either but it was on while we were getting ready to go to the casino. She liked it. I don't know how many times I've listened to "So you think coffee and sleep don't mix well they do if it's Highpoint it's decaffeinated." Coin bears indeed! Who are the writers, these people are great. Casting? Wow! I loved everyone in it. There is so much talent Joey King is lost. Reminds of the gas station scene from "Wayne's World." Where they replace the guy with Charlton Heston. Huge star with a tiny role. Start to finish wonderful. Love the babysitter, Analeigh Tipton. Love the Asian friend. Gotta get her name...BRB... Liza Lapira. "The human Valium" David Lindhagen six degrees of Kevin Bacon Putt Put the "Asshole" scene. This is a great movie. I ran out and bought the DVD.

I liked it. It has moments, and lines. I like Keira. Until recently I wasn't a fan of Steve Carell but he's growing on me. I love "Crazy Stupid Love." I've never cared for "The Office" I just don't get it. There are things in life that are not meant for me. Presumably perfectly wonderful stuff I simply don't like and I've tried. Oh, DVD. I watched it on DVD which means all of the goodness of fast forward. There were some tiny lame moments but it has some laughs. Loved the restaurant scene; well at least liked very much. I watched it like three times. The opening is a bit slow. I suspect the editor is a genius. I often wonder about that. The person responsible for cutting all that crap out of "Star Wars" deserves an award. George Lucas clearly hadn't a clue when he added back those deleted scenes. I'm doing my favorite lines. I advise you to hear them for yourselves. The one on the freeway off ramp about her boyfriend, loved it. WRITERS are so important. Ouch! I'd better get back to work. Spoiler alert no Zombies or Vampires or self amputated limbs. You will need an IQ to enjoy this one and even then I'm sure it's an acquired taste. Perhaps you should start slow "Breakfast at Tiffanys." Again I like this one it's funny.

This is not for this old man. I didn't get it. I'm pretty sure it is not directed at me. I think it might be about fashion cause she changes her cloths about 27 times. It might be anti-Obama, big government is the bad guy. It might be a woman's idea of romance. It might have been a lot of things but I just did not get it; the costumes, the action, the ending or lack thereof. It just stops. I was not surprised to learn this is the first in a trilogy. I was not surprised to learn it was written by a woman. I mean no disrespect; vive la différence. I rented it because of all the buzz and it was only about a dollar at Red Box. It goes in a thousand directions at once. I do not multitask. Some of them interesting some quite unpleasant. I'm left with far more questions than answers. I'd say it's about 60/40 I'll catch the next one.

Sure gets the blood up. The main guy was great and the kid was better. I watched it on DVD and my subtitles were hit and miss and mostly miss and I suspect that made it better. I was captivated. It's fascinating. I was warn out. It's bloody. Too bloody? Probably but with reason, irresistible force and immovable object. I don't care for senseless violence, this isn't. I give it a seven but then I don't speak any of the languages. I just had to know if there is any truth to it. The internet says yep some. Awesome! Reminded me of Native Americans. I was pleased it's not sugar coated. These savages were savage, that's the point of view and I went with it. Only partially because I don't know the languages, I didn't get the Japanese view. That might have been nice perhaps that's in the full length version.

The emperor has no clothes. Talkies took over for a reason. They're better! So much so that Hollywood stopped making silent movies instantly; productions were halted. I watched much of the later parts of this film on fast forward. Happily, seemingly, without losing anything. It annoys me that Hollywood has so little regard for movies. This story has been told and better. Do yourself a favor and just rent "Singin' in the Rain (1952)" So why the 3? It is not entirely without merit and they won't let me give it a negative to balance the other reviews. This is not a good movie. It's a foreign film about a uniquely American experience and they have no idea. The more I write the madder I'm getting. Asking a foreigner to explain American cinema is like asking a hamster to explain the space shuttle. Back when we had a space program. Don't get me started. Back in the day American films swept the world. What did y'all give us, two world wars. Thanks! sarcasm intended. American movies don't do suicide. The bad guys didn't win. It wasn't reality, it was American. I don't do reality. That's why I go to the movies. I like the question: "why are foreign films so foreign?" Still a 3. The "meet-cute" was cute. I enjoyed the flashing eyes but they went on far too long. I thought the character's name was inappropriate. Valentino without the "o"? In the coat rack scene there were fingers in the sleeve too soon. Oops! Some of the foreshadowing was good it helped create an American ending. A necessity I greatly feared they would mess up. Now for my American ending: I'm sorry I lost my temper, NOT! It was fun but to be fair "The Artist" (oh, ouch bad title, still I'm going to say something nice) has something. Probably style. The guy is handsome, the girl is pretty, the dog is cute. Yep! A 3, two full points above totally horrible. If Hollywood will just give this guy a chance and a whole lot of guidance he might make a good movie about France or something. It could happen. Probably won't but it could. Am I allowed to say he reminds me of Peter Lorre? It's probably wrong but he made me mad and that too is the American way. God help us.