cfavager's Reviews

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

8/10

11 September 2007

I'm a big fan of the Chainsaw movies and I'm glad to say that despite Michael Bay's involvement this is a worthy beginning to the series.

It draws heavily on the TCM (original) and TCM 2 establishing the family setting but more a homage than a direct copy.

R Lee Emery is superb once again and it's really his movie, with Leatherface-to-be as his mutilated sidekick.

The acting overall is good for a slasher, and the ladies are acceptably lady-like!

It's not necessarily scary, but that's never been the point of TCM movies. It is, however, extremely violent (the unrated version anyhow), gory and very, very dark - just the way I like it!

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The Amityville Horror (2005)

7/10

Not very scary but still a good movie

1 March 2006

Having watched (laughed through) the original version a few months earlier I was eager to see what could be done with the remake.

Before we go any further I do not encourage remakes as rule of thumb is the suck like $1000 whore.

TAH 05 is a well made movie. The style reminded me of the recent Texas Chainsaw remake.

I thought it was without any real scares though, and although tense, didn't offer any memorable moments of terror.

A good effort - but please - stop remaking everything pre-1990 and try something new

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The Village (2004)

4/10

Watch Something Else Instead ***SPOILERS***

13 May 2005

Warning: Spoilers

***SPOILERS***

Appalling film - about as scary as an episode of The Simpsons and as poignant a basket of turnips.

Send the blind girl - she'll be great for navigating the woods!! Well done!! Show us the monster aren't real - that will really help build up the tension! Even better, have them skin a few pigs - that'll *beep* everyone up!!

I thought the twist was interesting but it doesn't save the film, and is the only reason I gave the movie 4/10.

If you want to be scared of the woods, watch The Blair Witch Project.

Shyamalan needs to stop making films now please

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Toolbox Murders (2004)

4/10

Did I watch a different film to the rest of you?

6 May 2005

Warning: Spoilers

***SPOILERS*** Reading some of the reviews on here I got excited, very excited. Chainsaw is one of the best horror movies ever made, and the chance that Tobe Hooper could be back to his original form had me buying instead of renting.

Big mistake. A stupid film. Buildings within buildings, missing rooms, a mad-man powered by magic spells, pseudo-Chainsaw corpses all over the place and the lamest "is he dead" ending.

It's the sort of movie I'd expect Wes Craven to make; low budget, no brainer/no scares nonsense.

Gorehounds may enjoy the killings but I found them lacklustre and unconvincing. Haute Tension (Switchblade Romance) pulled off the angle-grinder/stone-cutter killing with a lot more class.

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High Tension (2003)

8/10

10/10 for 81 mins

6 May 2005

Warning: Spoilers

One of the best slasher films I've seen in a long time. Superbly tense, atmospheric, and cringingly gory.

The classic killer-with-no-name is executed to great effect. No need for psycho-babble or back stories, his intentions are made clear in his first scene (which I won't spoil for you but is a amusing twist on the "if this trucks a-rocking, don't come a knocking"!)

BUT the unnecessary twist at the end doesn't make sense and, although featuring the best use of a stone-cutter in a horror movie, doesn't do the story any favours.

10/10 for the first 81 mins, but the ending means I can only give it 8 overall.

A must for any horror/slasher fan and another fine example of filmmakers outside the USA showing how it's done.

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Battlestar Galactica (2004–2009)

Excellent

14 January 2005

Let's get this straight - if you're going to moan and complain about how this is nothing like the original series, or comparing to the original series, or even mentioning the original series please don't bother watching.

This reworking is superior in every way. Gone is the care-free attitude of the original, along with the some of the humour and all the silly haircuts. Remember people, the human race has been reduced to just 50,000 - no laughing matter The performances all round are very good. The special effects are as good as you get. The new, darker approach works well.

One of the better Sci-Fi series of recent years (although I'm sure some will complain about the pacing) Watch with an open mind and you will be rewarded

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Saw (2004)

7/10

A mixed bag

2 December 2004

Not scary enough, or gory enough

In the same vein and Se7en and The Cell but nowhere near as tense as Se7en, or as crap as The Cell

It's not a slasher film nor is it, as the hype suggests, a gore movie. The plot is acceptable if you stop trying to guess who Jigsaw is. Had the movie finished without the "twist" I probably would have enjoyed it more - but it just didn't make any sense and left me thinking "why?". Holes in the plot were exposed by the "twist" that I would have been happy to ignore had it ended after the much-hyped (and pathetically lame) foot sawing.

Overall worthy of a viewing - just remember to turn your brain off and try not to guess who dunnit...

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Alien vs. Predator (2004)

6/10

Whoever Wins, We Snooze?

11 November 2004

Warning: Spoilers

*SPOILERS*

More holes than a swiss cheese and totally destroys the Alien mythology. My favourite killing machines can now evolve from facehugger to chestburster to full blown Alien in around 20 mins!! Predator has become the campest pussy ever, I honestly though he was going to snog that woman at the end!!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid film but.....

I smiled all the way through it! The Aliens looks better than they ever have before (making me pray for Alien 5 : Earth War) and there is something insanely pleasing about watching the 2 races kick crap out of each other - although this didn't happen often enough for my liking.

Should have been so much better, but gets 6/10 for effort - just remember to leave your brain in the lobby!

PS. If you're going to make AVP2 or Alien 5 please give me a call so I can okay the script before you start

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Supernova (I) (2000)

7/10

Better than expected

29 October 2004

Universally panned on release I watched this only to see how bad it was. To my surprise I really enjoyed it, those I have lent it to have responded positively too.

I can only suggest that comments made on it's original release were based on the un-cut version. The DVD contains the deleted scenes and had they been included the film would indeed have sucked big time.

The edited 90-odd minute version is a perfectly acceptable piece of sci-fi cinema. The effects are upto scratch, the acting is above average and the set pieces work well. The story has a Star Trek/Voyager feel to it agreed, but one of the better episodes.

Get the edited version, enjoy - then watch the deleted scenes and admire what a completely terrible film it could have been!

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Session 9 (2001)

6/10

I'm not sure...

31 August 2004

Warning: Spoilers

This stank of The Shining, but on reflection I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

*Spoilers* Creepy in places, but far too many liberties taken with the characters - one who's afraid of the dark (sic) , one failed-laywer-turned-Hat-Mat cleaner (as you do!) with an insight into the history of the asylum and enough time on his hands to track down files, read case notes and listen to the Session recordings; the one who stole the other one's girlfriend. And I don't think the script helped much as some of the "group bonding" scenes aren't really up to much (is Haz-Mat cleaning really THAT intense??)

Maybe I missed the point here, but I'm struggling to make much sense of it. Man enters building, gets possessed by nasty spirits, kills everyone. Is it really that simple???

Having read some of the "alternative" views on the movie I think I might watch it again. But only "might"

6/10

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Underworld (2003)

4/10

Under-pants

7 July 2004

Might not be as bad as some have made out, but certainly not good enough (or bad enough!) to get a recommendation.

Interesting storyline, some nice characters but too much seen-it-all before effects/lighting/twists.

Unconvincing Werewolfs (not a patch on Dog Soldiers) and poor transformations and Vampires WITH reflections??

Not gory enough for a Werewolf film and not sexy enough for a Vampire film

Watch once if you must but don't expect anything special 4/10

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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

7/10

19th Century X-Men

21 June 2004

Nowhere near as bad as some of these reviews make it out to be, and on a par with the first installment of The X-Men

Take this tale with a big pinch of salt - it's not supposed to be an accurate reconstruction of the 19th century - IT'S FANTASY!!! Some complain the "historical" characters aren't in keeping with their original source...blah blah blah...why shouldn't Dorian Gray be invincible??? Why shouldn't Dr Jekyll's Mr Hyde be a huge computer-generated monster??

The only downside is that the characters won't get the sequel they deserve. X-Men 2 was much better because it didn't have to spend most of the film introducing characters etc etc - LXG 2 would benefit from the same scenario

I enjoyed it - but then I wasn't expecting much from it.

If you're gonna take it seriously I suggest you watch something else instead.

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Shaun of the Dead (2004)

10/10

Tastier than a Romero kebab...

21 April 2004

Quite simply the best British film ever made, and one of the finest zombie movies to date. George Romero eat your heart out (literally!)

Flawless direction and editing, excellent special effects and a script that makes you titter right 'till the end...it doesn't get any better than this.

Funnier than Dog Soldiers, scarier than (the terrible) 28 Days Later....and because it's British made - devoid of the stupidity that haunts the majority of Hollywood horrors (Wrong Turn, Cabin Fever, Jeepers Creepers etc etc)

Shaun, you've got red on you...

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