Reviews

Take an interesting subject matter, cast a superb, diverse group of actors, introduce original insight into an industry we are all curious about. Sounds promising, no?

Sadly, this Hollywood insider comedy-satire is neither interesting nor funny. It seems to have a lot to say, but ultimately says very little. The main character is introduced to us as a man with immense power, who then proceeds to do his best to convince us otherwise during the entirety of the film. A mover-and-shaker who is constantly stopped in his tracks and who's shaking is only in his own boots.

If the movie's message is to convince us not to pursue a career in Hollywood, good job. Otherwise, I just don't see the point. The plot leads us no-where, chugging along until it arrives at its extremely unlikely conclusion, which even then does nothing to resolve our storyline.

De Niro is impeccable as a producer, Catherine Keener is perfect as a studio head, and Sean Penn (who plays himself) is naturally beyond any reproach. John Turturro does hi thing, and Bruce Willis steals the show. Unfortunately, the film somehow manages to miscast Stanley Tucci, one of the most versatile actors working today. Robin Wright is also there, but is never given a chance to do much. The same goes for Kristen Stewart. A whole lot of talent in one picture, none of which is fully present (with the exception of Willis).

Watching this film, I found myself glancing at my wrist, wishing for it to be over but not suffering enough to turn it off. When the ending finally did roll around I found myself sorely disappointed with the lackluster and hollow message we are left with. I think perhaps this movie could have either listened to its own characters more often, or maybe less so. Not sure which...

In 2013, the gaming world was granted a worthy successor and reboot to the Tomb Raider property. This re-imagining of Lara Croft allowed the player to feel her growth and progress, gaining skills and confidence. Even at her most vulnerable, this character is charismatic, knowledgeable and courageous.

Fast-forward to 2018, and a similar reboot attempted to do the same to the film franchise, to invigorate the action-adventure legacy of Indiana Jones, to allow for an action movie with a strong female hero to take the audience to the realm of wonder and awe.

If only it had lived up to the hype and expectation... Unfortunately and for reasons unknown, instead of doing a straight adaptation to the powerful story conveyed in the game on which it is based, the screenwriters veered away from the super(natural) elements of the plot and filled in the holes with cliched and overdone movie themes - the missing parent, the bland villain, the comic-relief sidekick whose only purpose is to allow the hero to further the plot....

Certain scenes in the film have been adapted directly from the game, but without the involvement and control inherent in an active medium (as in the game), we are left watching the world's dullest playthrough of that incredible gaming experience.

Alicia Vikander embodies Lara Croft as the reboot games envisions her. She brings power and confidence exactly as the role demands. Her early moments in the film's urban setting are the most exciting. Strange that in a movie featuring the Japanese goddess of Death, the most exciting action sequence is a bike race. After a weak opening voice-over, our main character is revealed in all her talent, only to be gutted as the movie moves on.

If you come to this movie expecting a silly action flick, you will be disappointed. If you come expecting a supernatural adventure, you will be disappointed. If you want to see a fantastic video game with cinematic gameplay translated to the screen, no luck either.

I do not know who this film was made for, but I think it played it safe to a fault - supplying us with a forgettable and dull film featuring a weakened heroine who is constantly saved by plot convenience and rarely relying on skill.

I really cannot express how disappointing it is to have a film with such talented young actors and have it squandered on this piece of film-garbage. There is a whole slew of supporting cast that deserve so much better than to appear in such an uninspired sequence of events. Every character is a stereotypical punch-line waiting to happen. Even an appearance from the legendary John C. Mcginley's Dr. Cox Whistle is not enough to save this plodding, depressing mess.

Seeing Walter White out of work is about as thrilling as remembering that he used to be Malcolm in the Middle's dad.

I do, however, want to commend the filmmakers for attempting (admittedly with poor results) to address the frustration and actual difficulties faced by today's generation, and realise that it isn't all about being spoiled... Until that Hollywood ending shows us it is just that.

Here is a film I have no clue how to approach. I honestly have no idea what to say. The basic premise is solid- two boys find an abandoned police car and take it for a joyride. Turns out that the car belongs to the crooked sheriff, and he will do just about anything to get it back. Now the first sentence sets up a goofy family comedy with lots of naive-car-hijinks and maybe some misuse of police equipment.

The second sentence however, especially with the extremely versatile Kevin Bacon in the role of a crooked cop, sets up a gritty and dark revenge sort of action thriller, which is really different when the "felons" are two 10-year-olds.

Now both parts of the film work separately quite well. The boys are convincing, curious and clueless and have good chemistry together, and very few actors can out-creep Kevin Bacon when he's even remotely trying, and he is in this feature.

The issue is, that when the two separate parts collide we as an audience are treated to a jarring experience that at times is downright unpleasant. Worth watching, maybe... but don't expect it to be "fun", and definitely don't let your kids watch it.

I love me some Bruce Willis as much as the next guy, but sometimes even he can't save a film from being terrible almost to the point of un-watch-ability. The premise is fine, a singing cat-burglar makes about as much sense as a singing cat, but within the realm of a caper-comedy, this one is acceptable. The terrible sound editing and sub-par jokes however, are harder to forgive, along with the eternally bewildering Andie MacDowell.

No matter how many films try to convince me otherwise by cramming her down my throat, I simply cannot understand the appeal. She is cast as the deep and soulful dream girl in Groundhog Day (truly not convincing as such) and here as the mysterious femme fatale. She is not believable in any part that is supposed to convince us to fall in love with her immediately, and here she does some terrible acting to boot.

I have very few good things to say about this film - but I will say this.. it is always a pleasure to see a young, handsome Bruce Willis come on screen. The man is such a natural talent and his coy smile can brighten almost and scene. Except the dimness of this film. Good Luck people, and trust me - just go watch "The Fifth Element" again.

I am a big fan of the rare flower that is the original rom-com. Crazy,Stupid,Love is such a film, and it is remarkably well-rounded with a cast that I would easily follow into much choppier waters than these.

Ryan Gosling shines as the man he naturally looks to be, Emma Stone is deliciously mature and naive at the same time. The best scenes in the film play out between these two highly-talented hotties.

The mature pairing with Steve Carrel as the boring guy who's been married too long is a trope I have seen before (by him), and while well executed it is still not enough to rise above the cliché.

The juniors in the film add an edge to the humor that is distinctly uncomfortable at times, and the scene where conflict is to be found (I'm being vague for spoiler reasons) is far too convenient and feels shoehorned in. Especially our main characters seem to step out of what they have been so far in order to push the plot forward.

This is a brilliant film in many senses, yet lags in so many others really have trouble deciding if I like it or not - it is over- stuffed and at a run-time of two hours over-long...perhaps another viewing is merited...oh JOY!

I love "The Lonely Island". I am a huge fan of their music and I think they brought something fresh and original to the stale format of SNL. I highly enjoy the antics of Andy Samberg no matter in what format, and I think that a lot of the time their humor is intelligent, satirical and highly tongue-in-cheek.

But, as in the case of some of their shorts, songs and highly reminiscent of a Seth Macfarlane sketch, whenever there is spare time in the script they overuse their jokes and run them way too long.

Now imagine a Digital Short at feature-length. For every genius moment that was thoroughly enjoyable (the amazing last number ft. Bolton and Usher and the singing fish, the Mona Lisa and Ben-Ladin songs, the wedding scene...so much when you break it down) there were another two that were all fizzle.

I wish there was a minimalist editor's cut of this film where an outside editor would be able to trim all the fat and leave us with the good solid meaty substance that is definitely present... But seeing as there is no such thing, I cannot help but render Pop-Star a one-time watch with re-watches of clips on Youtube. Sad.

I imagine the pitch for this movie - "Everyone loves Zombie movies, and also everyone loves Pride & Prejudice". Unfortunately, I think that if one were to illustrate such a Venn diagram, they would find the overlap is very small, and that those of us who appreciate the crude humor and violence of zombie movies are not the same "us" who enjoy historical melodrama...

However, this film does in fact- exist. As such, I do not think it is any better (or worse) than what is implied by its title (The most humorous point of the entire endeavor). This is a zombie movie set in the realm of Pride & Prejudice, and in order to enjoy it you apparently have to be better versed in the source material than I was.

Overall - my favorite thing about this film was the opening alt- historical sequence "An Illustrated History of Brittania" which was created with such care and joy that I could not help but get roped in to the silly merriment.

As Above, So Below is a survival-horror video game I would have loved to play. In fact, as I watched it, I couldn't help but wish that someone would adapt it for the much more suitable genre.

The film's premise and basic plot are intelligent enough to enjoy, and as usual the blend of ancient mythologies in a "relic-hunt" (as per Indiana Jones or Tomb Raider) is something I would have liked to explore more fully. Unfortunately since this is a feature film that had to enclose its dose of jump-scares and shaky-cam, it set up a great first act and then proceeded to dash it thoroughly with standard horror-movie tropes for the entire rest of its run-time.

The actors are adequate but their characters unoriginal, and as with all "found-footage" films there are multiple instances in which the camera/cameraman are shoehorned back into the plot so that the footage can continue to be created.

The film was shot on location in the catacombs of Paris, and I am deeply sorry that we did not get more solid camera-work of this unique and fantastic location. Opportunities wasted make me peeved, and as such I could not quite settle in for the mediocre B-Horror that is this film....

River is one of the most original and enticing police shows I have ever had the privilege to see, yet, when it was over, I did not miss it at all.

The show opens strong and deals with some of the more delicate subjects of human society with a deft hand, from death to coping with mental illness to family. River is an eccentric aging police detective as many other have been before him, and throughout the series we see him go through a whole array of emotions and coping mechanisms.

Stellan Skarsgård is a terrific actor, and he does the character justice. Unfortunately, after several thrilling episodes of true emotion and mystery, the series winds down to a disappointing fizzle of an ending. Worth watching - Yes. Re-Watching...Not so much.