Reviews

It's hard to know where to start with Hallmark Romance films. The money it costs to make these movies they could actually make a decent film and still meet all the romance parameters, but they rarely if ever, take the time. The performances in Royal New Year's Eve, actually manage to be worse than the script and that's saying something. The phoney accents are atrocious. No Sam Page, you did not get away with it! Worse than Keanu Reeves in Dracula, a feat in itself. The Cinderella stakes in this dreary tale are so low you just wish they'd cut to the well posted climax. The moral being a movie all about fashion only to tell us fashion doesn't matter but then have fashion triumph. Too stupid for words.

Visually stunning but way too slow and bleak in content to sustain empathy. Was also surprised how many plot points were similar to Giant, with Cumberbatch's character doubling and outdoing, Mercedes McCambridge. Somehow I always felt 20 min ahead of the script. Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons are outstanding and provide the movie with its only heart. Cumberbatch is okay, but I kept thinking how much better it would have been with an edgy unpredictable actor like Guy Pearce, Joaquin Phoenix or Adam Driver. To complete the Giant analogy it's the difference between Hudson and Dean. Hudson was good but Dean was mesmerising. Jane Campion's script hints but never really delivers, and consequently neither does the film.

Tasteless, witless, soulless and worst of all, unlike the original series, totally humourless. The casting is creepy as the "adult" characters look like siblings of the elderly looking "younger" characters. Specifically Fallon and Blake. If any actors out there are wondering if they should remain in the business, this garbage should be enough for them to turn in their union cards.

This film is so bad. I mean barf, barf Canadian bad. The script is agonising. All the characters talk about their feelings without expressing them. It is so cliche, and over written for the stupid. So predictable you end up shouting at the screen! Production values are nil. Just stick up a bunch of fairy lights in every scene and you're done. This sort of ludicrous, wish fulfilment garbage is so patronising it is truly damaging.

This movie might be modern to someone from say, Farnham, but this whiter than white, ultra heterosexual (with one brief cliched exception) fantasy of modern society hardly reflects the world at large, especially given it's set in present day London. Multiple stories with some very good performances, highlighted by some really amateurish ones, but it's the script that lets the film down and exposes the writers limited life experience.

How does this stuff get made? Who green-lights a project like this? How does a project fail on every level and still get a release. The script is appalling. The casting is laughable. Rome via Kirkcaldy, but with Australian and Malibu accents. Sadly it's not even laughable and reduces Netflix to the septic tank of entertainment! And yes I am being kind!

This has to be one of the most depressing movies I have ever seen. Surprising given the talents involved, but the leading characters are so unsympathetic, so utterly charmless and unlikable, the movie is dead in the water in the first ten minutes. Like others have written here, you really do end up rooting for the aliens. The supporting actors overact terribly,trying to make a very unfunny script entertaining, but their performances only magnify the feeling of despair. It's hard to imagine that anyone sat in an editing suite and couldn't see how misguided this film is. If your looking for that final incentive to swallow a handful of pills then this is the movie for you, otherwise avoid, avoid, avoid.

This is so bad on every single level it's difficult even in the money driven world of films to imagine how they cooked such a turkey. In the past I have been a fan of all involved, but the lack of any chemistry what so ever between the two leads is uncomfortable to watch. Angelina Jolie acts in vacuum letting her costumes do the talking, and Johnny Depp is so distant it's as if he continually just woke up from a nap. The best performance by far is Steven Berkoff, but all are defeated by the red flag waving script... or maybe it's unsubtle direction signaling every contrived twist and turn before it happens. If I'm overly critical it's just when this much talent dishes up this much manure it's important to put the boot in to make sure they don't insult their audience again.

Except for the glossy look, this show had little to recommend it. The writing was patronizing and convoluted. Without exception the characters were shallow and unsympathetic. The female characters came off the worst... reduced to spoiled, selfish airheads whose soul ambition was to run around in slip dresses and stilettos, and try to bag a man. This aspect of the show is all the more curious as the series was produced by two women! The acting for the most part was dull and humourless with the cast playing one dimensional characters attacking every scene on the same note. This is not entirely the actors fault. Had they spent more time developing the characters and the storyline, adding a little injection of style and humour, MVP might have been a hit. What we're left with is something flat and vaguely unpleasant.

This series just gets worse and worse. Poorly written and just plain not funny! The premise is excellent, but the writer's inexperience shines through. By trying so hard to offend no one they end up insulting everyone. Now into the second season the desperate cast have stopped waving their arms about, and resorted to that patronizing, smug, "Oh, silly you" style acting that comes with a no laugh script. They roll their eyes and shake their heads at each other as if to say, aren't we zany? Isn't this funny? Well, no, it's not actually. Gum disease is less painful. No wonder, with the exception of Corner Gas, Canadians generally avoid Canadian TV. Come on CBC you're suppose to be our leading station showcasing the best of Canadian talent. Pull the plug on this amateurish mess.

Misguided attempt by the BBC to turn life at the British Embassy in Washington into something resembling "Bourne Ultimatum". In the hands of the brilliant Paul Greengrass this might have worked, but what we end up with here is a big budget, over heated, over stylized, and frankly ludicrous, vision of the British Ambassador as James Bond. With every character a suspect, and a subplot, the whole venture becomes confused and laughable. Jason Isaacs, and Sharon Gless are great, but most of the performances suffer from the jerky camera work and frenzied editing. They aren't allowed screen time to breathe, and stick in the viewers mind. It's as if the directors are saying "Never mind them. This is my show. Look at what I can do!" Jiggle, jerk, cut.