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Reviews
Baby on Board (2009)
Unbelievably Bad....Don't waste your time and your money
The Director Brian Herzlinger and the Writers Michael Hamilton-Wright (written by) Russell Scalise (screenplay) should not be allowed to do another film. At least not together.
With the great collection of actors assembled here, there was every expectation that the movie would have been better; much better. I like all of the actors and have seen them play extremely well in other films, yet in this one they all seem to be so, so lost; that had I had never seen these folks before, I would have believed that they were all high school kids doing a bad high school play. (And I have seen much better high school plays)
I watched it in pain hoping that at some point the talent and the timing and the writing would kick in -- never happened !!!! What a waste of talent and my time. I really wanted to see this group work. What missed potential.
Apparently the film was taken out of director Brian Herzlinger's hands and re-edited by the producers. So was it their doing or was it so bad that they couldn't save it?
*** This comment contain spoilers *** (Would that even be possible?)
Director, Brian Herzlinger, is a nude massage parlour patron in one scene. (That speaks for itself)
Russell Scalise, the writer/producer appears as a valet that Heather Graham covers in vomit. (Was this a form of self punishment?)
Don't waste your time and your money.
Mission to Mars (2000)
Might Have Been a Classic
First of I had very high hopes - with the story, the very excellent cast, and even the director (who has had big hits and big misses) First the good The filming was amazingly very well done - both from a very stunning visual sense and a scientific perspective (for the most part) Many of the scenarios are smashing good.(IE.good action) A few ideas are presented to their situations that they are under going and amazingly in the vast improbably of space they just might make a go of it. Yeah gang, go go go.
Next the bad The story was very very lightly presented - "are they on a holiday with the kids, attitude? on the mission to Mars" - no serious pre or post "historic space travel atmosphere" here at all - "or is it just a day at the Mars Park when a few things go wrong" - Even then it seems that these expert scientist have forgotten what they can do; most of the time it seems like they have actually sent a few folks that they found wandering around any city.
The KILLER of this film is not the direction, the lack of a deeper story, nor the amazing coincidences that really make up the most of the film.
It is fact the horridly inappropriate musical score that accompanies all the action and events that transpire though out the film - Fails Exceptionally - The score is totally incompatible with what is happening - If this film was done in the thirties - we could laugh at it - but this is the killer for me. I can actually watch this film much better with the sound off and the subtitles on. Sad to say.
The musical score is as or more important to what is going on visually with what your eyes see; as it is supposed to be "in the back ground","hidden as it where" in SC-FI flicks and all others films. And of course loudly pushing the action parts. Here the score totally distracts from what is visually being presented.
Ennio Morricone played this like it was "Snow White". Really !!! I kid you not.
Vangelis or Giorgio Moroder would have gotten the music behind the story, as the musical score is supposed to do. (Only to name a few composers) ...Sorry, I would have really have like to have enjoyed this Film (the subject, the actors,etc), instead it hurts, even after a number of viewings - first on VHS and then DVD - I got fooled into hoping that there might have been an improvement from one format to the other - no story.
Quite Sadly - Visually 10 Musically -10
THe Lukker