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zocotroco03
Reviews
Van Helsing (2004)
How do I put this????
As far as the most annoying movies ever made, this one ranks somewhere just a bit above "Freddie got Fingered" and "I Spit on your Grave". Once again, too much dazzle, not enough story. From the first scene, you are overwhelmed with this onslaught of CGI that is unrelenting and seemingly meant only to impress the very computer geeks that created it(congratulations guys, you've ruined another one). After about an hour, not only does this movie stop being scary, but you begin to fantasize about your own Van Helsing type character that sneaks into conference rooms and knocks sense into the very monsters that have ruined potentially good films over the past decade. Take a bow guys so someone can come up behind you an kick you in your ass!!!
The Dead Don't Die (1975)
When movies were crude but better
This is a fun one. I remember being scared as hell. In an attempt to solve a murder mystery, George Hamilton finds himself in a town inhabited by zombies. He even has a love scene with one of them!! It would be cool to see a remake. There has never been a zombie movie movie quite like this one. Hope i find it on a video shelf some day.
Cold Mountain (2003)
NICE BALANCE
Now this is a nice balance of beautiful cinematic imagery and story, very unlike the overrated LOTR trilogy. This had great music, incredible performances, and an insight into the complexities of various southern attitudes towards the civil war. The movie did seem to lose its' rhythm every now and then but overall, it restored my faith in movie making, especially having seen LOTR the night before.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
BEST PICTURE OF ALL TIME???!!!
Yes, it was good, yes it was the "technical" cinematic achievement of all time, but to say that this deserves best pic or that it rates with the other great film trilogies? Come on!! This was a pretentious, manipulative, self serving project of a director who got lost in the technology afforded to him. There were few truly engaging moments and whenever things got slow, the movie would simply resort to showing some beautiful landscape or a marching procession or a long drawn out battle scene.( I think there were eleven or twelve of these). Movies are not supposed to be non-stop slide shows. This was just a big oooh and ahhh fest. And by the way, to say that I didn't like it because I didn't read the books is NOT an argument. New Line can pat themselves on the back but don't put this movie in the same breath as "Star Wars", "Godfather" or "Indiana Jones". Get a grip everyone!!