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2/10
The Magnificent Agent Pope
16 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Agent Pope (Steve Railsback), the star of Termination Man, teams up with Agent Shane (Athena Massey) to complete a secret mission in Serbia. Neither of the them succeed in making us believe that they are in fact secret agents. Railsback looks stiff and old, and his fight scenes are over within seconds because he obviously can't fight. He even has trouble running across a road. Massey is trying very hard to act, but without any result. This is partly because Railsback doesn't give her any response at all. He just keeps on smiling like he's having the greatest time of his life. He looks like he's brain-dead and then suddenly remembers that he's tough and cool.

The script is very bad and almost noting that happens is explained properly. For instance: Pope has to go to Serbia to check if he'll die from a gas that has been produced by the U.S. government. He has been genetically enhanced so that he is immune to the gas. Couldn't they have done this all in a lab instead of roaming the Serbian woods for no apparent reason?! The acting is quite bad, but it's Railsback's "performance" that ruins the movie completely. He must have thought Termination Man would be a comedy. The bad guy is just a sad guy with only about fifteen soldiers under his command. The way it is filmed is mediocre, lots of standard shots, bad editing, direction seems to be absent.

As a vehicle for Railsback Termination Man fails, because he's by far the worst actor in the movie. I give it 3/10 simply because it was amusing to see how far this thing could get out of hand from the start on. And it got pretty far.
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6/10
Terrific acting! (major spoilers)
11 August 2004
Warning: Spoilers
The mentally challenged Bess McNeil lives in a remote and very religious part of Scotland. She decides to marry 'outsider' Jan, who works on an oil rig. They live quite happily for a few weeks and then Jan has to get back to work. He suffers serious injuries after an accident on the oil rig and is almost completely paralyzed. Bess thinks she's responsible for this, because she asked god to bring Jan home. Jan's condition gets worse and worse and he asks Bess to find another man to make love to. Bess, who's willing to do anything for Jan, starts looking for sexual encounters and comes back to Jan to tell the stories. She thinks this will help him get better. In the end she goes to work as a prostitute on a big ship and the second time she goes there, she is attacked and severely injured. She dies in the hospital after seeing Jan a final time. From this moment on Jan recovers and at the end of the film, he's almost able to walk by himself again!

This is the story of a young, not too bright woman who gets married to Jan. She's crazily in love with him and willing to anything he asks. When she asks God to send him home, Jan gets an accident on the rig and is hospitalized. Bess feels this is her fault and she tries anything to make things right. She talks with God (he really talks back!) about what to do. Jan asks her to engage on sexual encounters and tell him the stories, because he can't make love to her anymore. This way, it seems like they can still be together. This eventually leads to Bess making her final sacrifice. In a strange way, Bess getting herself killed results in Jan recovering from his injuries. The biggest sacrifice you can make, it may remind some of Jesus Christ's sacrifice.

The story is not really my cup of tea, a bit too depressing, but the acting is terrific! Emily Watson gives her best performance so far, especially the parts where she's talking to herself (God) are amazing! Katrin Cartlidge is beautiful as sister-in-law Dodo, constantly protecting Bess. Stellan Skarsgård is also doing a great job as the troubled Jan. The photography is good. Nice shots of Scotland's scenery really give you an idea what it's like to live there. How things work in a religious, stern and somewhat backwards community. The music ís my cup of tea! Elton John, Led Zeppelin and a lot of other (mainly 70's bands). It really tied the story together!

I would like to give this a 7/10.
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Atomic Train (1999)
4/10
I have wife and kids, so I'd better leave now!
8 August 2004
Normally, in these type of movies, we get a simple plot where the hero defuses the bomb and the villain is either killed or arrested. Not here, which is the only good thing about it.

The bad stuff is just everywhere. You keep asking yourself: 'why doesn't he do this or that and save us some time?' None of the main characters makes sense.

The boy climbing down a ladder to help his dad finds himself stuck. The father, who is seriously injured, now has to pull his son back up the ladder using a rope. And what does he get in return? A ladder in his face! And so much for his dad, the guy's is goner. Killed by his own son. Nice thing to work with, plotwise? No way, the boy doesn't even care!

Mena Suvari's boyfriend is nothing more than a pain in the ass. He succeeds in getting injured even before anything happens! Then he just lays around feeling sorry for himself. Well done! The would-be-hero-dude (Rob Lowe) who pulls out of the rescue operation and leaves all the work to his college who (of course, he was black and previously unintroduced) dies. It's like saying: 'I'm a firefighter, but I have wife and kids, so I'd better leave now!'

I don't feel like writing anymore about this, as it feels like a waste of time. A strange thing is that I enjoyed watching it, merely to laugh at the mistakes and plot holes. So it might have Ed Wood potential!

O yeah: what ever happened to the black guy leading the firetruck parade?

4/10
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The Birdcage (1996)
10/10
Brilliant
25 March 2004
One of the best gay-comedies i've seen.

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Robin Williams proves that he can play ANY role up to perfection (Insomnia, One Hour Photo).

Their servant is hilarious and the script is just too funny.

How can you call this 'dated' and keep a straight face? There are about 20 billion movies that are more dated then this one.

The acting is very good. It must have been hard for Gene to do.

I give this great piece of comic drama 10/10!
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The Idiots (1998)
8/10
I'm not feeling too well
16 January 2004
This really is a sick piece of film! And maybe I mean this in a positive way, because I do not know what to think of it.

There are two things I do know: It made me feel very sick and I really felt like throwing up a few times while watching. Not because of all the dicks and raw sex, they are in all independant dutch movies too, but because of the constant negative vibes I got from this movie. The second thing was that I still couldn't turn it off. It was like I was trapped in the middle of this and had no choice but to wait for it to end. The acting really grabs you, although I'm not sure if you can call it 'acting'. After all they are still normal people acting like idiots, like you and I would do in thier place. 'Acting', there it is. So it is acting after all..

There I am, confused. Probably exactly what Von Trier was aiming at. He thought: 'Let's make a film that doesn't have a point, makes everyone feel uncomfortable and have semi-intellectuals talk about for years. And while I'm at it, I might as well get it banned in Ireland. Just for fun.'

If I could turn back time a few hours, I might do it. I'm going to smoke something and watch a cheesy Friends-episode. That might get me some sleep tonight...
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