Reviews

This woefully inept underwritten, very badly edited and directed entry in the otherwise usually reliable Die Hard franchise isn't just disappointing, it's disheartening. I for one was not among the Live Free or Die Hard haters that seem to overpopulate the online community these days. It was entertaining and reasonably exciting with a couple of things they got right from the previous three. Up until now, the Die Hards have been about ordinary people doing extraordinary things in extraordinary situations when pushed to the limit. There were average people like limo drivers, janitors, air traffic controllers, cops, computer nerds and even convenience store clerks all lending a hand to John McClane when the going got tough. McClane used to use his wits and his street smarts. Now he drives crazy, yells a lot and shoots people. The frenetic chainsaw editing makes the action scenes incoherent and the plot hard to follow. The tone is all wrong. There are slow-mo scenes for no reason and overbaked emotive scenes that don't pay off. There are villains with little to no personality and McClane's son is a whiny, thuggish bore. McClane isn't so much smart alecky as kind of an ass-hole now. This would all rate the film okay if even it featured exciting action scenes that you could follow. It doesn't. The shaky cam treatment adds nothing but distraction. This Die Hard blows hard with a vengeance.

The long awaited return of Canada's second greatest comedy export (second maybe to SCTV-arguably) sees the middle aged "kids" in a murder-mystery- miniseries of occasional outrageous proportions. Like the Kid's previous spin-off (1995's critically lambasted "Brain Candy"), it is an uneven affair with almost as many virtues as flaws and therefore is most recommended to the troupe's hard core fans. Still, if you're attuned to it, it can be a real scream of political incorrectness with such taboos as necrophilia, abortion, murder, closet homosexuality, drunk driving, capital punishment, unplanned pregnancy, (animal) euthanasia, child mental retardation along with its' theme of murder and comic mayhem all put to their unique form of comical skewering. "DCTT" is pretty funny overall even though unlike the more clever "Brain Candy", it doesn't have much of a point when all's said and done. Some episodes fare better than others all leading to a rather limp-ish finale with the final revelation of the killer being no revelation at all. Still, at its' much longer running time, it is inevitably funnier than "Brain Candy" with some good performances and some really funny characters. My personal faves include Foley's friendly town abortionist, Macdonald's boom operator (Shaye), McCulloch's arrogant City Lawyer, Thompson's sad closeted coroner and of course McKinney's Death played as the scuzziest drug dealer/skater type you knew post high school only pot bellied and snaggle-toothed with a penchant for redheads. Love that "Got a job to do" song.

Delirious, surreal, and savage, Tobe Hooper's follow-up to his landmark debut ("Chainsaw" for those not in the know), is one of a kind while bearing the same signature stamp he left with his predecessor. A sheer unrelenting onslaught of pure madness, macabre and dark humor. Although not as entirely successful as Chainsaw, "Eaten Alive" is one messed up little drive in flick with good performances particularly by Brand as the psycho Inn keeper of "Starlight Hotel". Mumbling incoherently through most of his screen time and sputtering gibberish when audible, Neville Brand is eerily convincing. The beginning of this picture owes to Psycho in that you meet a character that you are led to believe is the (no pun intended) titular heroine but is quickly dispatched and we are left with the equally sleazy and\or oddball residents of the locale like ole' country boy Buck (Englund, who's a hoot) or that oddball couple who's dog gets chomped by the gator that lives in the swamp behind the hotel. It's that kind of movie folks so be aware what you're getting into. Creepy, oddball fun.

No matter what you think of this film, positive or negative, you can't honestly say you've seen anything like it. For that reason alone, I would recommend watching this film. How many major motion pictures released worldwide can actually bear that distinction? There are both amusing plot twists as well as likable characters. So okay, the film is obviously low budgeted and the musical interludes are a little jarring. The music itself is fine and the low budget special effects are kind of its' charm. It's all still pretty funny with decent performances. The only warning I would give is the film's humor is mostly of the "so strange it's funny" variety, which is personally my favourite but may reason for some of the negative reactions posted here.

Bruce Campbell is surprisingly effective in this strangely moving oddball film with instant cult classic written all over it. I work at a video store and this film rents out all the time for one reason: Campbell. People will take notice if they see this guy's name on the cover and not just the film geeks. This is of course attributed to the underground success of the "evil dead" films. I'm not going bore anyone with the synopsis because you have no doubt already read that before bothering with this review but it really is a grabber. What is more surprising is it is not the action packed gore fest we have come to expect with the combined reputations of director Coscarelli (Phantasm) and Campbell. This is a drama but it's also very funny though it does involve horror elements as well as social commentary. Don't be swayed by the naysayers, this one's a gift.

Now "Escape from New York" is a darker, grim action thriller that suits the environment where the story takes place. When one thinks of New York, you think of a dark, seedy, big, bad city. This is not what comes to mind when one thinks of L.A. You would think sunny, plastic and strangely creepy. Hence the change in tone with this looser, tongue in cheek near self-parody. Now the reason why I say the film still works is Snake Plissken. The only character who is played completely straight against the stable of B-movie cliches and skewed Hollywood stereotypes. Maybe in a few years this film will gain the respect it deserves. Still, although I reasonably enjoyed the picture (especially a few choice cuts like the "Bangkok rules" scene) I must admit I liked the first one better too.

I finally tracked down a copy of this rare gem on VHS here in T.O. and what can I say, this is an underrated and unique piece of fimmaking. I don't believe there's been anything like it before or since. The best use of Bronson's action hero persona since "Once Upon a Time in the West". It really is a shame that in the thirty plus years of Bronson's film career that he never found anything approaching this quality. Intelligently written and beautifully filmed, the movie resembles something of a photographed play with the lovely Marlene Jobert and Charlie squaring off in an unusual cat and mouse tale almost entirely consisting of their two characters during its' running time. I am officially begging either Anchor Bay or Blue Underground or whoever to produce a widescreen DVD of this little known film treasure.

This is one of the great unsung b movies of the 80's and it pulls it off with its' own signature style. With Carpenter at the helm, macho one liners aplenty (which some view as a bad thing), and WWF star Roddy "rowdy" Piper in the lead, this is one of the few true subversive action pictures that I can recall. The film entertainingly mixes elements of the western and sci-fi genre with social commentary by tackling themes of oppression, and media manipulation which seems even more relevant today than upon its' initial release. WWF star Piper is actually not bad in the lead as the working man turned soldier who is awakened to the horror of the American dream through special sunglasses. And of course, that fight in the alley between Piper and genre vet Keith David that goes on and on..and on...(Spoofed in South Park's "Cripple Fight" episode).

Classic.

There's something curiously compelling about this unbelievably strange mix of western and monster movie. It's Charles Bronson in one corner and an obviously phony, mechanical buffalo (!) in the other, (Complete with dinosaur roars and steam spewing from its' nostrils). Good supporting cast (Especially Warden), try their best but are defeated by sloppy film-making. Dig those obviously non-native American extras getting full close-ups! However it is kind of amusing in its' own potential cult-fave, "B-movie" sort of way.

At the height of his stardom, Charles Bronson made this curious oddity. He stars as a bankrobber hiding out at a widow's residence and after a series of comical mishaps, fall in love with one another. This is probably Jill (Bronson's then real life wife) Ireland's best moment. She made a career doing a lot of second stringing in her husband's films but she comes into her own here in a believably sympathetic performance. As for Bronson, well he didn't do a lot of "cute" movies so it's nice to see him in something a little less nasty for a change. Also, he provides some impressive comic relief in his own inimitable, understated way. It is only hampered by some awfully wooden direction. Still, you could do a lot worse.