Change Your Image
heathentart
Reviews
The Virginian: One Spring Like Long Ago (1966)
More Igmar Bergman than "The Virginian."
This is truly an obscure and arcane script. Indian lore, the slaughter of a species, justice and retribution all come into play. Morgan Starr, the new boss of Shiloh, and the youngest hand, Randy Benton, travel a long distance to sell a herd of cattle to an unscrupulous Indian agent for the "benefit" of the tribe he controls.
Hopes are raised amongst the tribe when a herd of long-gone buffalo is sighted. Two Hawks, and his son, Tonka, steal Starr's and Benton's horses to go see the truth for themselves. If there are buffalo, it could presage the return of the tribe's strength and freedom from the reservation.
The script jumped around a lot, trying valiantly to encompass many themes. It is marginally successful, and it deserves a star for trying, but there was too much to pack into a 76-minute-or-so script.
Bonanza: The Gentle Ones (1967)
Graphic depiction of animal cruelty unseen since "The Misfits"
It's a good episode, but do not allow small children to watch, or any adult who loves animals. Even though, intellectually, you know the animal wasn't tortured as depicted, it is still incredibly painful to watch.
A brutal man, and his gentler brother, are at the heart of this story. The horrid brother is desperate to sell horses to the Cavalry, and has no compunction about torturing animals to do so.
It's very Cain and Abel in a way, and has a good lesson to learn.
But, if you love horses, as I do, it's painful to watch.
Of course, if you enjoy today's R-rated bloodfests, with limbs going flying and everyone drenched in fake blood, this won't disturb you at all. Which is, honestly, pitiable.
Fearless Fagan (1952)
Absolutely adorable and fun to watch!!
I originally gave this film a 7, but because of the lion, I upped it to 8. "Fearless Fagan" is a fun movie for all ages. Carleton Carpenter is one of our most talented performers, writers, musicians still living. He made movie history with Debbie Reynolds when they were both kids, singing "Aba Daba Honeymoon" or, as I called it as a kid, "that monkey song." "Fearless Fagan" is about a young man, just 21, who is chased down by the draft board and...um.. coerced into inducting into the Army. He has a big problem, though, the titular "Fearless Fagan," his pet lion. Hilston (Carpenter) has had Fagan since he was a four-day-old cub, and they've never been separated.
The basis of the film is slight - trying to keep the lion on base without being found out - and how a Hollywood singer (Janet Leigh) gets involved is contrived, but it's a sweet, fun movie.
There's a tense scene at the end, that even I, the cynic, believed. But don't fear, this ends happily.
The movie is suitable for family viewing and, while not an "important" film, is important for the fun involved. Enjoy yourselves.
A last note: there is no information on IMDb for Fagan, the lion. The screen credits mentioned nothing either, which I think is awful. The lion was amazing, and I was prepared to adopt him myself.
Comin' 'Round the Mountain (1936)
Misidentification of the stalwart Champion
OK, so shoot me. I enjoy Gene Autry's movies, anachronisms (missing from this one) and all.
Gene is helping out a very pretty senorita (Ann Rutherford) from a dastardly man bent on acquiring her ranch for pennies. There's a race between Thoroughbreds and Mustangs to see who'd make better Pony Express ponies. As if there's any doubt!! Mustangs rule!! Smiley Burnette is his usual funny self, doing a wonderful number as a matador against a two-man bull. LOL!!! Classic. He also gets to be the pivotal man who unmasks the evildoers. What a talented man! I've submitted a correction to the cast list. "El Diablo" the black stallion mustang of the film is identified as Champion, Gene's famous horse. El Diablo is a black with a small white star on his forehead. Champion is the first of his line - a dark sorrel with a white blaze down his face, and white stockings (3, I think) that Gene rides throughout, except for the pivotal horse race.
Obviously two different horses. The sad thing for me is there is no documentation about "El Diablo," including breeding, training, etc. Just another hard-working animal that gets no recognition.
If you've enjoyed any of Gene's other movies, you'll like this one. If you prefer Clint Eastwood's kind, don't even bother watching.
The Kid from Texas (1939)
I gave it a *3* for the horse, Lonestar.
This is a loud, loud, LOUD and brash story about a louder man. It's a freaking wall of noise from beginning to end. So much so, that the actors who speak in normal tones seem to be whispering.
I don't understand the *funny* in yelling. And when you have an entire cast just wailing from first to end, you can't give a rip about the story, if there was one.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID script with loud-mouthed actors. Take a gander at Buddy Ebsen screaming his lines. Not funny. Just stupid.
Trust me on this, the cast sucks. Best actor in the bunch, with the best lines, is the pinto, Lonestar.
The only improvement, it seems, is that Dennis O'Keefe finally learned to rachet it back in his future films. What a relief!!
The Thrill of Brazil (1946)
It smells from beginning to end.
You need energy to keep up with "The Front Page" and "His Girl Friday," from which "Thrill of Brazil" stole the story. You need a frontal lobotomy to sit through TOB.
I don't like manic movies. The Marx Brothers always give me headaches. For me, pacing is important and "Thrill of Brazil" has none. You are never allowed to take a deep breath and regroup, but are kept listening to the hue and cry of dialogue, singing and dancing.
The music is eminently forgettable, with little charm and less enjoyment. After seeing the fourth, or was it fifth, dancing number with the same rhythm, same costumes, same dance steps... well, ho-hum.
I wish I could say something - ANYTHING - nice about this movie. The actors had a hard row to hoe and, unfortunately, didn't acquit themselves well. Keenan Wynn was just plain loud. There was no charm to his portrayal, no attractiveness to his character. He was so oily and slimy and underhanded, I wished for someone to shoot him within the first 20 minutes.
I wouldn't waste your time. I'm sorry I wasted mine.
1 out of 10 only because there was no 0.
Wyatt Earp: Return to Tombstone (1994)
Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp, brave, courageous and bold...
Long live his fame and long live his glory, And long may his story be told.
I can remember the theme to this day. The original TV program was a regular stop on my viewing schedule as a kid. My adulation of the legendary lawman composed of many hours pouring over books about Wyatt Earp and those wild West days.
Wyatt Earp: Return to Tombstone is a nice walk back in memory, but it doesn't play half as well as during the Western craze on American TV. It's wonderful seeing the old series, interspersed in new footage with an older, wiser Hugh O'Brien, BUT, it would work so much better if they just bring back the old series in its entirety.
The "current" story just doesn't ring true, hence, the entire film is choppy and uneven. Too bad, IMO, as "Wyatt Earp" was one of the best TV shows ever produced.
I give it 7/10 because of the old footage, but would've given it a 9/10 if the "current" story was better.
Minnamurra (1989)
Lovely period costume drama with great horses
"Wrangler," as it is known in the U.S., is a horse drama with great style and period detail. It's named "Minnamurra" in the Australian market, as that is the name of the cattle station property in dispute in the film.
Minnamurra is a large cattle station, held by the Richards family, with patriarch, James; his wife, Caroline; son, Rupert; and feisty daughter, at the center of this film, Alice May Richards, played by Tushka Bergen.
Ms. Bergen is a lovely, wide-eyed redhead with glorious hair, speaking eyes and a almost-tomboy manner. Her character, Alice, is bound to Minnamurra, their breeding stallion, Barbicon, but is also drawn to two men, one eagerly, Jack Donaghue, drover and militant unionizer; and Ben Creed, businessman and venture capitalist, whom she regards warily with great distrust.
Also in the film is the enemy of James Richards, who is trying to wrest ownership of Minnamurra, named Allenby. He's the dirty deed doer who will do anything to get what he wants. Unfortunately, in the film, he's a one-dimensional character who doesn't really have much of a presence in the movie.
This film has the look and feel of the old Merchant-Ivory movies of the 1990s. Sumptuous settings, opulent lifestyles, elegant people in a monied, elegant time.
The storyline isn't exactly as the one for "Australia" (2008), but it is similar to Nicole Kidman's vehicle.
The story is fraught with contention, albeit in a very gentlemanly manner. Alice Richards knows her father is having problems in holding onto the family station, and she finds herself deeply involved in solving the family's situation. There is no gore in this film, some violence, but of the bloodless variety. The worst part is an explosion where two men get killed. Other than that, the movie is certainly is fine for children to see.
The most exciting part, at least for me, is the horse drive - the cinematography is glorious throughout and very striking visually. There is one scene that shows the magnificent dichotomy of Australia's geography: during the horse drive when the horses go from arable land to complete desert sand in one stride. It's an incredible shot.
While this isn't a compelling story or film, it is certainly enjoyable. The two heroic men, from whom Alice must choose, are played by Jeff Fahey and Steven Vidler, as Ben Creed and Jack Donaghue, respectively. The arch enemy is played by Shane Briant, whom I recognized from other projects. Most of the cast is unknown to me, as they are either Australian or British, but all the company do their parts exceedingly well.
Look for an historical figure in this film, Lord Kitchener, the 1st Earl Kitchener of Boer War fame in South Africa. He plays a vital role in the film.
"Wrangler" or "Minnamurra" is a nice, enjoyable viewing. It's not a monumental film, but a good experience for the whole family. (Well, okay, except for some hard-core guys who'll think this is a chick flick.) I rated it 6 out of 10, as it looks great, has some interesting plot points, but overall, it doesn't delve deeply into any of them.
Unless I missed it, they never explain what Minnamurra (an Aboriginal word) means. A shame, really.
Challenge to Lassie (1949)
A sweet affectionate tale from times gone by
Was there ever an animal actor as compelling and affecting as Lassie? Regardless of the sex confusion (the first Lassie was actually a male, not the female the dog portrayed), Lassie was competent in his roles, this film being no exception.
The story is simple and heartfelt, based upon a true event - a terrier who so loved his master that, when he died, would faithfully guard and sleep on his dead master's grave. Hence "Greyfriar's Bobby" and his story was born. Take the time to look it up online, it's a wonderful story of love, devotion and how a town got involved in the life of one, poor dog.
The cast is delightful, filled with my favorite character actors from the 1940s - Donald Crisp, Edmund Gwenn, Reginald Owen, Alan Napier - wonderful actors no matter what the role.
According to IMDb, some of the filming was done at the actual location of Greyfriar's Churchyard. If true, it brings a beautiful touch of authenticity, even if Lassie is a collie and not a terrier.
This film is especially good for children to watch, as it teaches a lesson about devotion and loyalty and the heavy price one might have to pay for both. But the denouement is uplifting and joyous, and very special to watch.
I've loved this movie since I was a child, and now almost a half-century later, it still holds up,.
Treat your children and yourselves to a sweet, uplifting experience. The "Challenge To Lassie" is worth your time.
No Questions Asked (1951)
Plays real good, like a noir should
I've always liked Barry Sullivan's work, but never saw him in a dark, noir role like his Steve Kiever, man on the run.
The films has a lot of the noir standards: dark environs, some nasty losers, and the set-up, murder and finally the solution.
Kiever is an insurance agent who gets deep into a twisted scam of mobsters, insurance companies, and cops. The plot is fairly simple -crooks stealing insured jewels, then working with Kiever to return them to the insurance company for payment. Ya see, the insurance guys pay less than the insurance claim would have paid. So the jewels are returned, the mobsters make more than they would using a fence, the insurance company goes along - "No Questions Asked." Everything is fine, Kiever has a super girlfriend in the form of gorgeous Arlene Dahl, he's making money hand over fist - And then there's a murder.
This is a good movie which I enjoyed greatly. I have a personal interest because the film was made in the year of my birth, and I've always been interested in what things were like then.
"No Questions Asked" is a nice way to spend a coupla hours. A cold drink, some popcorn, turn the lights down and settle into the couch. Life is good. :)
Southland Tales (2006)
Full of sound and fury, signifying BLECH
There is art. There is cinema. There is entertainment.
When we are very, very lucky, we, the audience, get three out of three. This movie(?) doesn't get even one out of one.
Someone should tell Mr. Kelly that making movies is not synonymous with self-indulgent, drug-addled, miserable attempts to be *new* *different* *intelligent* This movie has nothing to do with talent. What it has is someone's bamboozle over studio executives to waste great gobs of time, money, talent and seemingly endless feet of film.
I can admit I'm not a fan of Mr. Kelly. His "Donnie Darko" was another, albeit shorter, waste of time. I simply didn't enjoy it.
But Kelly's vision of the Book of Revelations from the New Testament is nothing more than regurgitated pap. He has taken an already difficult concept (the Book) and Waring blended it into incomprehensibility.
Trust me, if you don't understand this movie, there is nothing to understand. His (Kelly's) grandiose idea to make the graphic novels, and this movie, into some kind of media Happening as we enjoyed during the drug-addled '60s is a momentous failure.
There is no plot. There is not a shred of rhyme or reason. The poor actors... oh, the HUMANITY!!! I can imagine the actors coming to work drunk in the vain hope the script would suddenly make sense.
Visually, it's attractive, yet, ultimately boring.
Approach it to your own detriment. Remember, this is time you won't get back. Be better served - go kiss your kids and play with the dog - or kiss your dog and play with the kids. That makes better sense than this drivel ever will.
Mr. Kelly, please stop sucking down whatever prompts these images in your head. Coz no one but you can interpret them.
I Dood It (1943)
What clothes!! What jewelry!! What music!! What fun!!
If you adore Red Skelton... If you adore Eleanor Powell... If you adore Swing music and ballads... If you enjoy just kicking back and letting the experience take hold...,
This is a terrific movie to enjoy with a bowl of popcorn. It's especially good when it's on TCM because there are no nasty cuts or commercials.
It's fluff, make no mistake. No Tarantino gore, no Stone conspiracies, no angst... just pure fun watching some of the best talent Hollywood ever had.
Lena Horne, Hazel Scott, Jimmy Dorsey, Bob Eberly, Helen O'Connell for the music. Eleanor Powell's magnificent dancing, Red Skelton's brilliant slapstick and his heart-felt sweetness. Then there's the rest of the cast - Thurston Hall, Sam Levene, John Hodiak, and Richard Ainley as Larry West, for whom this would be his last picture.
The plot has its nuttier moments, none of it meant to be taken seriously. It has plenty of eye-appeal in the costumes (magnificent gowns) created by Irene Sharaff, inarguably one of the greats in the history of design. There are jewels to glitter and shine and, if they were fakes, they were great fakes.
The plot gives Red Skelton plenty of opportunity to do what he did best. Just check out the "beard" scene - you'll know what I mean.
OK, so it ain't "Gone With The Wind," or "Of Human Bondage," but it's not supposed to be, even with the Civil War play going on.
One of the funniest parts for me was the sound effects guy doing the "hoofbeats" with the coconut shells, even though YOU know that the sound was being made by a Foley guy in post production. But it's a sound made within a picture by someone outside a picture... ahhh, now I'm confusing myself, and probably you, poor reader.
Leave your troubles behind. Tune out the kids, the phone, the interruptions, the beds can be made later. Have fun!
Maverick: Mr. Muldoon's Partner (1962)
Fey, funny and got a genuine LOL from me
All right, I know I'm biased. Maverick was one of my favorite shows when it started - when I was about 4 or 5 years old.
This episode is right up there with the best of their forays into humor. I'm sorry the other reviewer was so offended. I'm from a minority group as well, and even if they placed the story within my group, I couldn't be offended.
Drawing on the folklore of the Irish, this story is a sparkling mixture of "is it real" or "is it a dream?" Everyone did their part wonderfully with the fabulous Mickey Shaughnessy as the central character of the mayhem. (How is "Shaughnessy" an Irish stereotype? He IS Irish, after all.) Give this episode a chance, and I'll bet you'll enjoy it as much as I have. This one is going into the "keeper" file.
Every Second Counts (2008)
Complete waster of time
Yet ANOTHER Hallmark movie that adds nothing to entertainment. Yet ANOTHER horsey movie in which no one knows the last thing about horses, especially the riders.
Yet ANOTHER waste of time for the viewers.
The story is again the same - overbearing parent who needs to learn a "life" lesson. A child who is devoted to her family, even to the point of being used by them for their own gain.
Hallmark has a fine history of truly abysmal movies, all with the cheapest production values and usually with one known actor amid a crowd of unknowns. This is no different. I haven't a clue who the actress is that plays Brooke, the daughter. Stephen Collins I know well - he's the sole "name" in the bunch.
The story? Daughter wants to be a veterinarian. Dad wants her to be big-time rodeo star. Mom flitters around the background, uttering bleats of concern, all the while plucking a guitar for her lost dream of being a singer.
What this movie needs for all its lost characters is a big EXIT sign.
I hope everyone who reads this realizes the great sacrifice I made in sticking with this movie till the end, just so I could honorably write this review.
And my last point? I know it's cheaper to film in Canada, BUT STOP IT ALREADY!!!! You are not fooling a soul. We KNOW it's set in the United States (supposedly Washington State), but we can tell it's Canada. Enough already. I get homesick for the States watching these movies.
OK, that wasn't my last point. I was truly concerned for the horses in this movie. I've ridden all my life, and there's nothing so slick and treacherous as mud (except, perhaps, loose slate in the Grand Tetons, Wyoming). These poor animals were in mud up to their hocks, and I was concerned one of them might get seriously hurt.
Move production to Arizona or Texas - make it easier on the animals. Soggy, sodden British Columbia doesn't do it for me.
Now where do I go to get my 120-minute refund? 1* out of 10
Quincannon, Frontier Scout (1956)
A valiant effort
This movie seems to have been contrived from every Western cliché' known to film. I didn't have high hopes for its quality, and, in that, I wasn't disappointed.
It was nice seeing a '50s Western in beautiful color - especially in the scenic panoramic shots, but it showed up the thick pancake makeup terribly. The actors looked as if it had been troweled on.
As for the acting, it's the standard B-list roster except for Tony Martin. He deserved to be put on the Z-list. The man had a gorgeous singing voice, but couldn't act to save his life.
The others, with whom you might be familiar, are Ron Randell, John Smith, John Doucette and the blonde siren of B-listers, Peggie Castle.
There's plenty of action to keep you awake, the story is a standard one - the bad guy trading illegal goods with the Indians, the good guy who finds him out and routs him. And the pretty blonde who falls in love with our hero.
Have to say, aside from the pretty color cinematography, there's little to offer to anyone. I'm glad it was on in the morning on the Western Channel, because if it had been night, I'd have fallen asleep.
This is not an awful movie. It's certainly not a great movie. The best I can say about it is...
meh.
Bonanza: The Smiler (1961)
A great script and unusual staging make this great to watch
Out of the years of watching Bonanza from child to adult, this is one episode that always stayed with me.
Herschel Bernadi has a strange turn here as Clarence Bolling, whose brother was shot by Hoss Cartwright. This episode's name "The Smiler," says it all. It is a creepy story of revenge, all with a smile overlaying it.
Good writing, great staging and pacing. And it can send chills up your spine. Great ripping yarn, all the suspense you could want.
The central character, Bolling, is evil pure and cold. Herschel Benardi was one of my favorite actors, especially having known him in his Broadway performances, like "Zorba." Good acting all around. Try and watch it.
Spring Forward (1999)
An absolute gem of a film in the dross of Hollywood
If Brad Pitt is a box of popcorn, then Ned Beatty and Liev Shreiber are full 4-course gourmet meals.
"Spring Forward" is a snapshot of a year in the life of two disparate men who form a bond as deep and as true as any have been portrayed before. I defy anyone to not be drawn into the bravura performances that dapple the film.
Ned Beatty has been on my personal favorites list since the '70s, and time has only perfected his talents. His performance here is delicate, enwrapping and as sparkling as the best diamond.
Liev Schreiber is a newer vintage of exemplary actor. I first saw him in "Kate & Leopold," and even in the short time he had in the movie, he stood out as the best of the pack. His further work hasn't disappointed, not even ONCE.
I'm not going to tell you what happens in this film. It is for you to discover - this is your treat to be unwrapped and savored.
I can say that every part was played exquisitely, from Peri Gilpin to Catherine Kellner to Bill Raymond to the children. Every scene evoked a feeling, a raison d'etre for its existence.
What a relief from gratuitous violence and cursing and empty sex. No car chases, no super-loud soundtracks. You won't see any $20 million dollar *actors* in this film. Instead be prepared to fall in love with the script, the setting and the players. There is nothing to dislike in "Spring Forward" and instead of getting a sugar rush, you'll be filled and no longer hungry.
P.S. Have a tissue at hand
Mystery Woman: Vision of a Murder (2005)
A good entry into the series
This time around, there's been a murder at a spa near the Mystery Woman bookstore, which, of course, allows the same crew to attend to solving the crime. You couldn't have Casey Sander as the gruff, ex-Marine Chief of Police if the crime were outside his jurisdiction.
This, in the same way it did for Cabot Cove, Maine and Jessica Fletcher, puts the Mystery Woman bookstore on the map - simply "exigent circumstances," as Lenny Briscoe might have said.
In retrospect, whoever casted this project has much the same prescience as does the character, Emily, in the film, as portrayed by Felicia Day. Why? Why because Ms. Day is the exciting new hot thing, playing "Penny" in the Dr. Horrible blogs online, as conjured up by Joss Whedon.
Emily is a psychic who *saw* the death of one of the spa guests. So we're off trying to find the killer, methodically plucking the way through a stream of suspects.
Kellie Martin did a very good job with this one, as director. It's a bit faster paced, with more immediacy and more impact.
I also enjoyed, as usual, Clarence Williams's "Philby." I like his character - 'nuff said. There's a gravitas that I admire greatly.
So, fill the bowl with popcorn, sit back and don't answer the phone. This is a fun one to watch.
Mystery Woman: At First Sight (2006)
They're called "cozies" for a reason...
While not being my favorite genre of mysteries - I prefer puzzles such as those Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot" solves - cozies have their own, intense fan group.
A "cozy" mystery is typified by a nice setting, no grit, no gore - or not much gore. It's evenly paced, with few car chases and no walks down the seamier side of life.
The "Mystery Woman" series typifies just this genre, and does it mostly well. In this particular undertaking, there is a lot to squeeze into a two-hour (minus commercials) timeframe.
Samantha Kinsey tries to find her birth mother, finds her, gets embroiled in a murder investigation and ties it all up neatly. Perfect "cozy" material. What was done well? They found an actress to play Sam's half-sister, Christine Lakin, who does bear a resemblance, especially around the eyes, to Kellie Martin. They're almost the same height, size, and have similar hair. Good job on that!
There is a sub-plot pairing Clarence Williams' "Philby" with Michael Cole's "Desmond" as two old compadres from that mysterious past of "Philby's". We suspect a secret squirrel spy past, but we don't really know. For the middle-aged crowd, for whom these "Mystery Woman" films seem to be aimed, it's a fun little ride back to our younger days watching "The Mod Squad."
This is Miss Martin's 3rd directing job, and it's not a bad one. The scenes are set up neatly, but there are few surprises.
"Mystery Woman: At First Sight" won't win many awards, but it's a pleasant way to spend two hours. It is a LOT better than watching endless re-runs of movies we've seen hundreds of times.
It's a pure pleasure to have something to watch that isn't muddled, befuddled or a stupid reality show. The Hallmark Channel does me very well with their "Crime-Time Sunday" line-up, and I'm enjoying every minute of it.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
It is McG's world. So when is the next rocket ship outta here?
I am SO glad I didn't pay to see this film. In fact, I can confess I haven't seen the film - not in its entirety. I watched about 32 minutes and bugged out.
This is awful. Not "Ed Wood" awful, which was funny in its awfulness. This is embarrassing. I feel so sorry for anyone, except McG, who worked on or appeared in the movie.
Listen to what everyone is saying here. It's so bad, it is unredeemable. The dialogue is puerile, the editing is nauseating and there's nothing there to attract.
On a personal note, I need a story. I need something with a modicum of intelligence to grab onto. I need something besides silly titillation. It's sad that this much money was spent on a film so devoid of wit, laughter, excitement and intrigue. Give me an old "North by Northwest" any day; where the scene on Mount Rushmore is far more exciting and nailbiting than anything in CAFT. Hell, give me an original James Bond film, dated though they might be.
If you're into stupidity, if you need to see women acting like tramps, if you don't need any dialogue worth remembering, if you love music video pacing - this movie is for you.
I have a new drinking game for you guys out there... chug one every time someone's ass is waved at the camera. You'll be drunk in no time. Silly. Sad. Worthless. A travesty of film-making.
Let's hope McG *never* *ever* gets behind a camera again.
Loving Evangeline (1999)
Poor Linda
I've met Linda Howard a few times. I know Linda Howard's writing. And this movie is NO Linda Howard plot. In the true tradition of Harlequin Romances, their movies strip any semblance of passion, pacing and plot.
Linda Howard is known throughout the womens' fiction world as being a writer with very tight plots, slick and sassy words, and the hottest, most erotic love scenes.
How they managed to strip ALL of this, including the original story, from this movie, I don't know. But it must've taken a monstrous effort.
We have Cannon, the hero, who is no Alpha male, by any stretch. He's so New Age, you can smell the Brie on his breath. Which is sad, as Nick Mancuso is a fine actor and capable of so much more. If only it had been written for him! And the heroine... what can one say about the heroine? The eponymous heroine, Evie, has about as much sizzle as an uncooked rasher of bacon. Part of this is due to the lamentable script which never met a cliché' it didn't like. Part is due to the actress, Kelly Rowan, whom I've never seen before. She's petite, meek, and, even when angry, makes you wonder where the fire went. During the climactic scene, where you might think she'd be in fear for her life, she acts as if she's shopping for bread and milk.
The story here bears little resemblance to Ms. Howard's story. The main protagonists have been dumbed down to the level of ho-hum. There's no real pacing, in fact, the entire movie feels more like a stroll in the park. Where is the emotion of two people falling in love, yet not trusting each other? Don't look for it here.
Oh, why go on? Any tension is in the viewer, wondering when it will all end.
The result is a film not worth viewing. Please don't judge Linda Howard's work by this film. It's lamentable that her name be attached. I do hope they paid her a truckload of cash for this travesty.
Jane Doe: The Wrong Face (2005)
Enjoyable way to pass a few hours
I've never been a fan of Leah Thompson, although she's good at comedy, I've never thought her capable of great drama. My opinion is borne out by her Jane Doe series. This installment is little different from the others I've seen.
She's a wife, mother, secret agent. As with other secret agent/housewife vehicles (Mr. & Mr. Smith, etc.), she runs herself slightly ragged hiding her *other* job from her husband and children. The premise is that she works for a puzzle game company, but the puzzles she actually solves have to do with high-level crimes.
As an agent of the fictional "CSA," Jane Doe outwits her boss, played by Joe Penny, every time. Which, of course, only makes her more valuable with every new film.
Billy Moses plays her husband, and he's as sweet and supportive as can be. Almost too much so, as if my partner were running around at all hours and disappearing, I'd want to know why. Jane Doe's family is just *too* perfect, with no terrible issues that embroil the rest of humanity.
I enjoy these movies, and "The Wrong Face" is one of them. They're a nice, uncomplicated way to spend a couple of hours when the chores are done, and there's nothing else you'd rather do.
Just a note to the other commenter: Jane Doe and "Mystery Woman" are two different series, not the same one. You've gotten yourself confused.
The Chinese Typewriter (1979)
A specimen of its time
Watch it for seeing a very young Tom Selleck, albeit with the same old moustache. His acting chops haven't improved much over the years, but he is certainly cute to watch. James Whitemore, Jr. more or less carries the movie.
Interestingly, only 4 of the total cast had a varied and successful career, the rest are unmemorable.
The funniest part of this unfunny "adventure" story is Mr. Whitmore passing himself off as an Arab Sheikh. Without makeup, he makes an extremely pale Arab. Somewhat successful accent, I thought.
The story is typical Stephen J. Cannell fare; with its concomitant mild flirtations (Cannell men don't get too involved with women), car chases, spraying bullets, etc. Don't look for anything deep or meaningful. Lots of bootlegger turns, though.
Gigi (1958)
Fin-de-siecle Paris at its glamorous best!!
From hiring French actors to portray French people, to Cecil Beaton's costumes, to the lyrically lilting score and words of Lerner and Lowe, musicals cannot get better than this.
The script is sophisticated, witty, adult and satirical ("Congratulations, my boy!! Your first suicide!!") - surely an amazing accomplishment in the days of tight-lipped, red-hunting, sexually-repressed Hollywood in the 1950s.
The story is from Collette's novella and adapted from Anita Loos' stage play: a young girl (Gigi) is being groomed by her courtesan grandmother and great-aunt (Madame Alvarez and Aunt Alicia, respectively) for life in the family tradition of courtesanship.
She has a family acquaintance with the Lachaille men, Honore' and Gaston (Maurice Chevalier and Louis Jordan, respectively). Honore' and Madame Alvarez have had a *past* alliance, as spotlighted in the musical number "Yes, I Remember It Well." The younger Gaston is bored ("It's a Bore!) with life, with his brigades of easy women, lavish parties, and languid trips to the watering holes of Europe. He passes some of his time with Gigi and her grandmother, showing a yearning for a different kind of life.
Gigi is simply adorable, as performed by the lovely, talented Leslie Caron. It's quite a stretch to see Leslie Caron as a young girl, but it works if you think of her as 16 verging on 17 and ready to come out of her chrysalis into womanhood.
This movie is charmant from beginning to end. It is impossible for me to pick one musical number from the other; they're all magnifique! When I was a young girl, "The Night They Invented Champagne" was my favorite, spotlighting as it did the yearning to learn what life was about. Listen to the verse at the beginning with all of Gigi's questions about the adventures yet to unfold. Now that I'm much older and more experienced, "Yes, I Remember It Well" is my anthem.
The recreation of Fin-de-siecle France is wonderful, from the proper use of horses: purebloods pulling aristocratic carriages, jobbers pulling swimming cabins, burros on the beach - amazingly well done! Aunt Alicia's lovely Louis Quinze apartment, the Bois de Boulogne, Maxims - ah, Paris!!
The prominent roles are all acted by French natives, except for Madame Alvarez and Aunt Alicia, who are British. But it all works because they sound literate, cultured and there are no nasal American accents to intrude. Don't get me wrong, I love America but our regional accents don't belong in "Gigi."
Have I gushed anywhere nearly enough? I love musicals, full stop. All musicals, but mostly MGM's. But among them all, Gigi is bright, funny, wistful, delightful, enchanting, sweet, and, most of all, it succeeds!!!
Two funny highlights: In Aunt Alicia's apartment for the "fashion show," the mannikin's style of walking, on her toes and pitched forward and, when Gigi is being groomed by Aunt Alicia in the beginning, and the task is eating ortolons, tiny songbirds, by slicing the whole bird in one stroke and eating it, bones and all.
It's very sad the Oscars*tm* do not award for ensemble performance, because "Gigi" would have received 10 awards, instead of 9.
The Prince & Me II: The Royal Wedding (2006)
$2.95 movie presented as a million dollar production
I had the unfortunate experience of viewing the Prince & Me original movie just before the sequel, the Prince & Me 2. The sequel had none of the charm and believability of the first, Whatever on-screen chemistry Julia Stiles and Luke Mably had in the first is completely lacking in the sequel. It's safe to say that Kam Heskin can't act her way out of a paper bag. When the marriage is called off, she's shows as much emotion as one hearing it would rain that day; a momentary contemplation, a shrug and off.
The only enjoyable part was seeing how Luke Mably matured from a care-free student to a more serious King of Denmark. As it should be.
This movie was completely disappointing, not only in the majority of new actors from the original, but the overall cheesiness of the production. Anyone who viewed Lady Diana Spencer's marriage to Prince Charles knows what a royal wedding looks like. The Prince & Me 2 perhaps paid $99 at David's Bridal for the wedding gown. The church was woefully empty of attendees. Very little pomp and almost no circumstance.
One thing that really gnawed at me were Paige's parents, also new actors. They dressed the father well in a very nice suit, but the poor bride's mother looked as if her clothes came from a rubbish bin. Yes, she's a farmer's wife, but believe me, lots of farmers I know have very attractive and well-dressed wives. And how did the parents fly from Podunk, America to Denmark in two hours? The space shuttle?
The script was predictable, the actors weren't stretched by any means and, sadly, when needed most of all, Paige was a dud. She had none of the sparkle, determination, honor and depth of character as written in the first film.
Others have gone into the historical inaccuracies and blase' treatment of Danish history, but 5,000 years indeed!!! There wasn't even a Denmark 5,000 years ago, much less a monarchy. Were they so low on funds that scene couldn't be re-shot??? If the writer made the mistake, was there no one - producer, director, even an actor - who didn't catch this? The role of Soren, so ably portrayed by Ben Miller, with sly sarcasm and stoic wit, in the original movie, was taken on by Jonathan Firth, the brother of able Colin. Unfortunately, the writing wasn't nearly as clever as the first, and subsequently, left Mr. Firth with nothing to work with.
The ball scene was also unbelievable. That a princess of the blood (Kirsten) wouldn't know how to dance? Commmmme onnnnnnnnn. And that an American girl could pull it off flawlessly with no visible training? My suspenders of disbelief were stretched to the max throughout this film, although I stuck it out to the end to give it a chance.
Best thing about the movie? The horses, purebloods all, unlike the actors.