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Reviews
An American Carol (2008)
Grade B humor for a poignant film
Just got back from seeing American Carol at AMC Pleasure Island 24 in Walt Disney World.
Overall: I'd give it a B.
Funny. Not the funniest film I've seen but still funny. I didn't like the language but other then that it was fairly tame. I counted about 10 s-words, 5 a-words and a couple of s.o.b.s. I've never liked profanity in movies so that is always a notch down in my personal ratings.
The 1968 song was awesome.
I wish George Washington had more screen time.
Not sure I understood the Gary Coleman joke.
The website for "Sarah Conrad of Eagle Creek" is funnier. It has a great story, values-friendly, hopeful.
Our Daily Bread (1934)
Beautiful story, an encouraging masterpiece
It is easy to be a cynic especially in today's society. I am part of the first generation to mature without a sense of community. Common values, common goals, as demonstrated by this film, are greater than almost any circumstances. This is not socialism rather it is community. Socialism takes by force, community gives by goodness. Some may accuse the storyline as being simplistic, however, if you talk to people who lived through the Great Depression you will often hear stories like this one: neighbors helping neighbors. Movies like "Our Daily Bread" perfectly capture the Spirit of America. I am grateful such testaments exist because they can inspire future generations and citizens yet born.
Cloverfield (2008)
Magnificent Mayhem
Simply one of the best films ever made. Packed house at Pleasure Island. See it in Digital. Exciting while being well paced. Romantic while not being sappy. Tender while being tough. Just like the name Cloverfield, the movie conjures up uncertain, ill defined images and internal reactions. It is the perfect analogy for today's listless world.
It was a pleasure to see a film which fully utilized the movie watching experience.
Stay until the end credits for a mysterious clue and an amazing piece of music titled "Roar."
If nothing else, the overture theme should be nominated for an Oscar.
A Date with Your Family (1950)
Propriety never goes out of style.
In an age of Hyper Media Saturation and woefully flagging standards of home decorum one can easily see the value of films as these.
Propriety never goes out of style.
"There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness. There is no family so bust that it can come together in the evening for a dinner date that will give its members something to look back upon with happiness all their days." Who in their right mind could argue with that?
The ability to project clearly defined high expectations and habits is how economies separate the wheat from the chaff. Conjointly, children need high objectives. In all things lead by example for this is not an issue of conformity, it is a statement of love.
Try a little tenderness.
Tiger Heart (1996)
MST3K Potential
"Tiger Heart" is simply one of the worst films of the 90s. Inept actors, bad fight scenes, and a soundtrack from 1985, all adds up to an amazingly bad production. It is fast paced, never dull, but never anything above sub par. I wish MST3K was still around, the bots would love this movie.
The writer should be jailed for stealing clichés from all other weak genre flicks. The director should apologize for not giving Jennifer Lyons more screen time because her presence is one of the only things that makes this tripe watchable. If you ever catch this movie get a couple of sarcastic friends and enjoy the shipwrecked script and classically doltish plot.
Lords of the Deep (1989)
A wonderfully bad movie, enjoyable to watch
I have a great story about the movie. In 1989, I was going to David Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee. Near Lipscomb is 100 Oaks Mall, which at the time had a 99 cent movie theater in one of its strip centers next to the mall.
One Friday night I was hanging with a bunch of friends and we decided to go see a cheap movie. I forget the other show but in theater 1 was Lords of the Deep. It was billed as having the same sfx director as Aliens so we thought it might be good. There were roughly 30 people in the auditorium, including 8 in my group.
Within minutes we realized that we were in for a real gem of a movie. As each minute passed the storyline got more and more ridiculous and the actors looked like they were sleepwalking through the lines fully cognizant that they'd just made a massive career blunder. Within 10 mins. there were the first subdued chuckles from some of the more ridiculous lines and then came snickers, snorts, chortles, and lastly, pure laughter for a supposedly serious Sci-Fi thriller.
After it was over we pledged to try and see the movie again Saturday night. We drove back to campus and told all of our friends. Saturday there were 60 people in the crowd. At the Sunday 9pm showing there were probably 100 people. Monday, the last time I saw it the show was nearly sold out.
If you want a true, blue, so-bad-it-is-good film check out this cinematic calamity at your nearest Blockbuster.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
My thoughts on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Umm, OK. Umm, OK. Umm, OK. Umm, OK. Nope did not like the movie. Reminds me of those college chicks who acted like cartoon characters from some poorly written teenage anarchists/rich bored kid novellete. However, Kirsten Dunsten has a nice back. That is all. Thank you for your time.
I like cheese. I suppose I am just not smart enough or maybe I am a little too sober to enjoy multi-million dollar actors attempting to give themselves "credibility" by making bad faux art house movies.
In conclusion, sanity and adulthood are more enjoyable than the polemedintic imagirations of Sally Cocoa Puffs and her own copy of the Nashville Scene.
The Grudge (2004)
Ghastly Ghouls, Gargling Gophers
***spoilers***spoilers***spoilers***spoilers
There are bad movies and then there are movies which are so awful that they become affectionately comical in their ineptness. Such is the case with Columbia Pictures' 'The Grudge.' This cinematic atrocity began when an otherwise well intentioned American saw a Japanese made for TV film 'Ju-on' and was inspired to remake the movie in English. This began a virtual tsunami of bad decisions which circumnavigated the globe until it washed ashore in Orlando on October 21, 2004.
The premise, and I use the word loosely, involves a house in Tokyo haunted by a skinny Momma ghost who looks like a cross between Margaret Cho and Alanis Morrisette, along with her ghastly sidekick a chubby, rambunctious but evil second grader. Is there anything scarier than a creepy 8 year old Japanese boy? Sure there is! Count Chocula comes to mind. With this whimsical bunch we must add a mysterious black cat who I have affectionately named Chim Chim. (Remember Speed Racer?) As you have already guessed, they were murdered in this domicile of doom and now desire to kill everyone who enters the premises. You see, as explained by a Japanese detective, when someone dies in a rage their ghost seeks revenge on everyone who steps on the property lines as defined by the county commissioner or something like that, I forget.
The story begins innocently enough with acclaimed thespian Bill Pullman leaping to his death from a balcony. My guess is Bill Pullman got this job because of his kids begged him for a trip to Tokyo Disneyland. Next we endure the mildly interesting saga of Nurse Yoko, 'oh no don't go in there' screams the audience, but alas she heeds not the dire warnings and is predictably snuffed out like a magic lantern. About 30 minutes into the movie we finally see its American heroine Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen. Sarah Michelle Gellar might be a competent actress but I could not help thinking of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so much so that it was distracting. It is the equivalent to having Jennifer Anniston star in a movie about the adventures of six friends in New York. Try as you may, you just can't stop thinking about the other project which made her famous. But I digress, Karen, the nurse is hired as a replacement for the original care giver who disappeared at spooks r us.
She snoops around, meets the ghosts, coma lady dies, and some other stuff happens. Watching the fair haired vixen searching for clues I half expected her to find the ghost and pull its mask off to reveal it was actually old man Gower who owned the abandoned amusement park! 'I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and that dog of yours!'
Director Takashi Shimizu, who is vying to be the Ed Wood of Asia, made two unfortunate decisions involving sound. First, he choose to use a soundtrack only when someone is about to be killed. This is an excellent devise for obliterating any suspense because the audience gets a two minute warning to prepare for another miserably predictable murder. Second, he gave the ghosts a bizarre guttural noise that sounds like a gargling gopher. After the movie, I heard several people exiting the theatre making the sound and laughing.
Sarah Michelle Gellar ends up being the sole survivor. And of course we learn that the fire she set to burn down the house was extinguished in time for the obligatory next chapter. However, considering the humorous reactions of the audience, they did not want a sequel but an apology. 'The Grudge' could be easily re-edited into a comedy, perhaps then it will be appreciated for its camp value. Baring that, this will go down as the greatest cinematic thriller since 'Godzilla vs. Megalon.' I would suggest waiting until the movie comes to your local discount theatre where it can receive the public ridicule it so richly deserves.
America's Heart & Soul (2004)
I Hear America Singing
"America's Heart and Soul" is the movie Hollywood does not want you to see. 'What? A film that is openly patriotic and optimistic? Quiet! Someone might hear you and buy a ticket.' This movie should be viewed not only by all Americans but by all people who want to be free. In an amazing series of vignettes we see the people who make our country a continuous celebration of the human spirit.
Here we lift the man crippled with cerebral palsy and put him in a wheel chair, and with the aide of his father, he speeds past his fellow citizens waving flags and yelling 'you can do it!' Together they finish the Boston Marathon.
Here we decorate cars with bobble head dolls or make dinosaur statues from scrap metal or we hurl a flaming bowling ball into a stack of broken televisions. Here we don't just climb mountains we toss a rope to the blind man so he can 'see' the view from the top. Here a man can go from prisoner to captain of the Olympic Boxing Team after twelve months of training and exercise resulting in a well defined dream. Here a clarinet reverberates through a synagogue in Brooklyn and a choir shakes the beams of an old church building in Mississippi. Here a woman dares to enter the male dominated sport of acrobatic flying and wins two years in a row.
We are a nation that represents true cultural diversity in which free enterprise and the free mind are as essential to the human soul as oxygen and water are to the human body.
We don't just get lemons and make lemonade, we plant the seeds our Maker put in the lemon's heart and get a whole forest of trees whose branches provide homes for the birds and shade for the weary land.
"America's Heart and Soul" proclaims the beauty of freedom without resounding political jibes. It reminds us of Providence without being preachy. It makes you weep tears of joy.
For me the only melancholy tear I shed was when the camera soared across Manhattan's mighty skyline, and I couldn't help but notice what was missing.
Such is the price of liberty, when you want to be a shinning city on a hill there are always those with greedy hands and contaminated minds who want to blow out your candle. This Independence Day weekend while you are enjoying the barbeques and rocket's red glare, be sure to tell that grand Lady Liberty holding her torch in Hudson Bay that she's as beautiful as ever because millions of people out there want to fly a passenger plane into her pedestal.
In conclusion, take the time to say 'thank you' by supporting your local movie house with your patronage. Buy a big bag of popcorn and a Coke. In a small way you will be remembering the real life heroes, our friends who daily risk their lives to keep this land safe and self determined. Honor our values and buy a ticket for 'America's Heart and Soul.'
The Explosive Generation (1961)
Suprisingly Realistic for Hollywood
The aspect of The Explosive Generation which intrigued me most was its realistic portrayal of the issue of sex for teens. Most Hollywood films paint with a broad brush. Kids have sex like rabbits at every turn with absolutely no consequences. This film shows how some kids struggle with their sexual mores and value systems. No easy answers just reality is shown.
The film's ancillary theme deals with academic freedom vs. parental responsibility and fear. Timidity can be a virtue but it is not a crutch. The teacher, Mr. Gifford, played by William Shatner is not all gung ho about his role as a provocateur but neither is he completely comfortable with his other option which is to break the confidence he has molded with his students. My guess is other teachers have gone through a similar exercise over good judgment and have faired none the better, but, once again, this is not a topic for the Hollywood especially of the day which must resort to topless bimbos and amoral dolts. Not every kid is so willing to toss their values out the window to get `a little action.' There are still plenty of children who believe their future happiness is not predicated on immediate gratification. Ultimately, as the movie seems to state, these are tomorrow's leaders.
Mars Needs Women (1968)
Watchable Fun
Of all the sci-fi movies that I have seen that were filmed in Houston, this is among the best.
Mars Needs Women is watchable fun. Tommy Kirk pilots a spaceship with a crew of 4 Martian males into an abandoned ice making factory, which is spooky and heavy with the fetor of rotting chemical containers.
They have 24 hours to acquire 5 women who are both beautiful and healthy which they can use to repopulate their loathsome planet.
Tommy must assume the identity of a newspaper reporter and convince a rather strapping Yvonne (Batgirl) Craig through a series of soliloquies and expertly maneuvered tarradiddles that he is more than a bromide journalist rather he is ultimately the urbane, suave Prince Charming who can make her pretty little head swirl with thoughts beyond the realm of standardized lucubration. Behind her horn-rimmed glasses, she quivers for this alluring myrmidon from beyond the stars. He is captivated by this autochthonous siren. To want- to love- to live.
He in turn bespeaks the confusion of his soul, an embodiment of the whole piece, rightly an olla podrida of mental acuity and the most conspicuous of all jigs; that quasi-caromed, state of palpitate we mortals call seduction.
It gives us much to mull. It is to cinema what T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" was to prose; only this classic has a stripper, a groovy soundtrack, and a harpoon gun.
The Broadway Melody (1929)
Snooze fest
"Broadway Melody" is the third poorest Best Picture winner I have seen right behind "Dances with Wolves" and "Out of Africa." It is a snooze fest. Poorly written, acted, and directed. Sorry, but I call 'em like I see 'em. The musical numbers are ill conceived and unoriginal. The plot is filled with characters who fade in and out of the film like celluloid ghosts (cool, that'd make a cool name for a movie!). There are also a myriad of pointless scenes which I can only image were shot as filler material. Scene transitions are mostly awkward with poor editing. If you'd like to see a powerful movie about the golden age of Broadway check out "The Great Ziegfeld."
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Pity, shame, and, above all, Love.
In my opinion, `The Passion of the Christ' is the best movie ever made. Mel Gibson has sculpted a masterpiece equivalent with any work of Rodin, Michelangelo or da Vinci.
Even absent from the obvious spiritual implications of the story; this film is exquisite. With masterful cinematography, art direction, costuming, and make up, the viewer is transported to the time of Christ. Gibson captures the pain, the misery, the hate while buffering it with pity, shame, and, above all, Love. Even if you do not believe in the life changing message of the carpenter from Nazareth, you will know his heart, his spirit, his humanity.
I have never experienced a movie to this degree. Using cinema to bewitch the eyes and the ears, you are there in the crowd with its chaos, confusion, filth, and loathing. Like most Americans in this generation, I have witnessed much bloodshed in the name of entertainment. Today I, and others in the audience, seemingly felt it. Rods bruised my back. Whips tore my flesh. My hands and feet were pierced. I felt Mary's tears, Peter's shame, Judas' madness. As surely as it was happening to the man of sorrows: so was it happening to me. I am grateful the director chose to present this without the use of English. Hearing these words uttered in the original tongue contributes to the stark realism resulting in a piece that is riveting and meditative.
Without being preachy, Gibson communicates Jesus' Divine nature through the words spoken by the immensely talented James Caviezel (at last, a brown eyed Christ!). He leaves little to debate but much to ponder. Artistic license is used to bridge some scenes however this instrument does not distract from the premise.
Allow me to state that it is bewildering how anyone could view this as anti-Semitic. It is not the Jewish people who are slandered; rather it is most of their leaders who are adequately portrayed as lying, thieving sons of Perdition. If anything the rapturous sadism of the Roman soldiers should be enough to make the weak minded hate Italians. But I will let a higher authority comment on such base, visceral thoughts, `Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.' Rosalinda Celentano's androgynous Satan could easily have stolen the show in most Hollywood productions. In `The Passion' she is a consummate background character fading in and out of the tapestry. She may lack a name but she is nightmarishly acquainted to the viewer; sowing seeds of wrath, murder, decadency, and, perhaps worst of all, indifference.
Note: The extraordinary amount of violence leads me to recommend against anyone under the age of 12 of viewing this film. The affects would likely be too disheartening and important lessons may be lost.
It is, in the end, an interpretation, not the event itself. And some critics will not like it even regardless of their opinion about the Galilean. However, in this age, it is likely that most in the entertainment world will not hear the Messiah's sweet, soft voice because they are too busy yelling `Crucify! Crucify! Crucify!' Some will spit on this film because they disagree with its conclusions. Others will strike its face because they lack a conscious. Alas, such scars might testify more about the soul of the perpetrator than the product or for that matter, the subject.