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7/10
A Worthy Sequel That Could've Been Even Better...
22 April 2013
Five years ago, ultra-secret agents K (Tommy Lee Jones) and J (Will Smith) stopped the Earth from being destroyed by the actions of an alien "bug". However, K's memory was erased shortly after, so J's been working alone. After "neuralyzing" his latest partner, J is ordered by MIB chief Zed to investigate the landing of a tiny ship in Central Park. Discovering an evil alien named Serleena has arrived to find "the light of Zartha", Zed tells J to bring K back into the fold...but MIB headquarters is invaded before they can return. K's memory is eventually restored, but another event is revealed: the Light of Zartha will self-destruct unless it leaves the planet by midnight! The performances were pretty good all-around, though making the villain a wannabe lingerie-model was completely unnecessary. There's also a reference to aliens called "ballchinians", who have testicle-like appendages on their chins. Another creature's face resembles a pile of dog manure.
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6/10
The Best of the Sequels, But Still Very Short of the Mark...
22 April 2013
The core story of this movie is really good, but like the other sequels, it revels in extreme sexuality and gore, neither of which were in the original.

Eric Mabius ("Resident Evil", TV's "Ugly Betty") stars as Alex Corvis, convicted for the brutal murder of his girlfriend Lauren Randall (Jodi-Lyn O'Keefe). Framed for the crime, and without any evidence to support his innocence, Alex is executed on the night of his 21st birthday. Hours later, he is revived by a hypnotic crow, and given the power of invincibility. Breaking into the police evidence room, Alex finds a list of witnesses from his trial. The first, Tommy Leonard, tells Alex the cops on that list blackmailed him.

Soon, Lauren's sister Erin (Kirsten Dunst) runs into Alex while visiting Lauren's grave, but he disappears. Later, he visits her home with evidence incriminating her father (William Atherton). Faced with the truth, she agrees to help him, but is soon kidnapped by the corrupt police chief (Fred Ward). Killing all the officers in a quest to find Lauren's real murderer, Alex is fooled into thinking his mission's finished. Now mortal, he finds out the captain ordered Lauren's death, but is stabbed repeatedly while confronting him. Dying again, Eric is brought to the captain's lair, but has his powers restored by the crow for a final showdown. Back at the prison's execution chamber, Alex and Erin watch as the captain is electrocuted. Finally free, Alex vanishes for good, and Erin visits his grave sometime later.

My main reasons for rating the film so low are due to explicit sexuality and gore. Several people are repeatedly stabbed, one man has a name carved into his head, and another's arm is cut off. Extended walks through a strip club show topless dancers and fully nude porn workers. The language is about on par with the rest of the series, and definitely fits the R rating.
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Hook (1991)
8/10
What If The Boy Who Never Grew Up...Did?
9 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
That, in a nutshell, is the story of this film.

Many years have passed since Peter Pan took Wendy Darling (Maggie Smith) on annual trips to his magical home of Neverland. Wendy is very old now, having cared for orphans during the decades. Among her former charges is corporate lawyer Peter Banning (Robin Williams), married to Wendy's granddaughter Moira (Caroline Goodall). However, Peter's obsession with his work is rapidly destroying relations with his two kids, Jack (Charlie Korsmo) and Maggie (Amber Scott). One Christmas, Peter and his family journey to London, where Wendy will be honored for her charity work...but disaster soon strikes, with Jack and Maggie missing. The only clue left behind is a letter pinned to the door by a dagger, signed "Jas Hook, Captain".

With no options left, Wendy tries reminding Peter about his past, but he dismisses her as crazy...until an old friend spirits him away for an amazing journey. To save his kids, Peter must not just fight Hook, but embrace the childhood he'd long since forgotten.

I was 11 years old when this film came out, and I've seen it more times than I can remember. With an all-star cast, a fresh take on the popular myth, music by iconic composer John Williams, and Steven Spielberg at the helm, this is a must for any fan of film, literature, or both.
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Spider-Man 3 (2007)
10/10
"Does whatever a spider can"...and a whole lot more...
13 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Life for Peter Parker in the city of New York has never been better. His web-slinging alter-ego, Spider-Man, is the hero of millions; his "day job" at the Daily Bugle is going strong. His college grades are in top form, and to top it all off, he and the lovely Mary-Jane Watson are madly in love with each other. For once in his life, Peter has very little to worry about...until a strange, small object crashes into Central Park, unleashing a living black ooze that eventually...well, more on that later.

On the other side of town, Flint Marko sneaks into his sleeping daughter's bedroom through an open window. Before leaving, he has a few words with his estranged wife about their child, and then leaves, lamenting, "I'm not a bad person. I've just had bad luck." The same night, Peter stops by Aunt May's apartment to tell her of his plans to marry MJ. May shares a heartfelt story about her late husband Ben, and how he proposed to her 50 years prior. Peter is on his trusty moped, when out of nowhere Harry Osborn swoops him into the sky for a battle-royale that ends with Peter sliced a few times, and Harry in a severe coma. A few days later, he awakes with very little of his recent memories, prompting some heartfelt scenes that touch on what Harry's life might have been, had his father not been so neglectful.

As for Mary-Jane...well, her job at a Broadway show is cut off, and due to his crime patrols, Peter hasn't exactly been the most attentive guy on the planet. Neglected, confused, and borderline hopeless, MJ's mood only gets worse when, at a special ceremony, Spidey is given the key to the city, and gets an upside-down kiss from blonde bombshell Gwen Stacy! Jealous and frustrated, she is shattered when Peter takes her for a romantic dinner, and Gwen shows up to say "hi". MJ walks out, blind to Peter's plan of a (now-botched) wedding proposal.

Meanwhile, Harry is recovering at home from his stay in the hospital, when his memories return in a flood of imagery, restoring his desire for vengeance against Peter. He blackmails MJ into dumping Peter, telling her she'll die if she refuses. And, the police inform Peter and Aunt May that Uncle Ben was not killed by a random carjacker. Instead, their new suspect is none other than Flint Marko, who falls into a crater after escaping a chase, only to become trapped in a nuclear experiment that transforms him into a being made entirely of living sand.

And as for that black ooze, it bonds itself with Peter's costume while he sleeps. Peter's mind slowly crumbles under this symbiotic influence, going so far that he retaliates against everyone. A fight with Marko leaves Peter believing him dead after opening a floodgate. Harry and Peter have a fistfight inside the Osborn mansion, leaving Harry disfigured by his own pumpkin bomb. News rival Eddie Brock's work is revealed to be a fraud, causing J. Jonah Jameson to publicly fire him. And Peter even woos Gwen Stacy, right in front of Mary-Jane! All these events come to a devastating head when, during a barfight, Peter forcefully knocks Mary-Jane to the floor. Faced with all the consequences of his actions, Peter flees to a cathedral, where the sound of the tolling bells causes the symbiote to weaken, and Peter rips it away from his body...

...where it drips down through the rafters, and lands on a grieving, bitter, and angry Eddie Brock. Consumed by the evil entity's power, Brock is transformed into the psychotic creature known only as Venom. Tracking down the Sandman, Venom arranges a team-up to take down the heroic wall-crawler, and kidnaps Mary-Jane to use as bait. Soon, Peter swings to the rescue, once again clad in his familiar red-and-blues. But the fight is too much for even him, and as the "Sandman" prepares for a death-blow, Harry appears, having been told the truth behind his evil father's demise. Thus, its two against two across the skies and down the streets of New York. In the end...well, let's just say many lessons are learned, about love, duty, and yes, even responsibility. When all is said and done, Peter somberly approaches MJ, with one sentiment on his mind...
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Smallville (2001–2017)
9/10
Tales of a Modern Legend...
26 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Seventeen years ago, the sweet little community of Smallville, Kansas was on few (if any) travel lists. The self-proclaimed "Creamed Corn Capital of the World" was like any other small town...

...until it happened. Out of nowhere, a huge stream of meteor fragments shot across the sky, decimating the town in their wake. Fire, destruction, and tragedy were suddenly a reality. But there was also hope.

The meteor shower brought with it something else: a spacecraft. Concealed within its protective hull was the last survivor of the dead planet Krypton. Found in a cornfield by a couple driving by (Jonathan and Martha Kent), the boy was raised as if he were their own.

Twelve years later, Clark Kent is a secretive and long-suffering high-school freshman attending Smallville High. For years, Clark has known he was different, concealing his rapidly-developing powers from those around him. He knows nothing of his heritage, until the day that the scheming Lionel Luthor's son, Lex, crashes his Porsche into Clark at 60 miles an hour in a freak accident on a nearby bridge. Saving Lex from the underwater wreck, Clark discovers the truth from his "parents", and slowly but surely begins learning to accept the destiny that now lays before him.

In five years on Warner Bros.' "WB Network" (soon to become "The CW" following a merger with CBS and Paramount), this phenomenal series has seen Clark face one trial after another. Battling Kryptonite-infused "meteor freaks" on a semi-regular basis; learning more of his heritage from a legendary-yet-reclusive scientist; haunted by the will of his Kryptonian father; seeing a massive ice fortress instantly formed in the Arctic; pursuing the love of his life, Lana Lang; dodging secret setups and attacks by the now-unstable Lex Luthor...all of this and more racks up to the success of this amazing show. With a cast that truly symbolizes the emotional undercurrent of the story, to an incredible staff of writers, crew, sound design, and visual-effects artists, "Smallville" is in a class by itself. While some episodes leave much to be desired (Craving, Nicodemus, Magnetic, Spell, Thirst, and Exposed, just to name a select few titles), the series really triumphs, more often than not. A must-see for anyone who loves either Superman and/or great drama, "Smallville" is the best that an adventure show has been in a very long time...
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Men in Black (1997)
8/10
Galaxy Defenders...
11 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
In 1961, Earth made first contact with an alien race. Problem was, no one in the general population knew anything about it. How is that possible? Welcome to the world of the "Men in Black".

They are above and beyond every legal system on Earth, and yet no one but their own knows they exist. They license, monitor, and police alien activity. They have done so in secret for over thirty-five years...

...until New York cop James Darrell Edwards (Will Smith) enters their world. Chasing a seemingly-human perpetrator, Edwards discovers the existence of aliens, and is soon sought out by the MIB's best agent, known only as "K" (Tommy Lee Jones). The older man is impressed by James' work, and convinces MIB chief operative Zed (Rip Torn) to bring him on board as the unit's newest member.

One catch: James Edwards ceases to exist, his identity erased from the memory of anyone aware of him, his very existence denied and hidden from the law. In his place stands new recruit "J", who soon makes it his personal duty to annoy "K" at every turn, even while helping him to thwart an impending invasion over a tiny galaxial jewel hidden from extra-terrestrial forces. In the way is Edgar, once a man, but now a mere host for a deadly alien "bug" that plans to steal this jewel in order to prolong a war that is feeding his vengeful race...
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Cue the John Williams music...
2 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
In 1974, Goerge Lucas began writing the story of a saga that, unbeknownst to anyone, would evolve into a mainstay of modern mythology for generations past, present, and future. Now, that timeless tale is completed with "Episode III - Revenge of the Sith".

3 years have passed since the Separatist leaders began the dreaded Clone Wars, and in that time Darth Sidious has hatched his final plan to control the galaxy once and for all.

War has been raging, transforming ambitious Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) into a powerful and formidable warrior, to say the least. Together with his former-master-turned-General Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan MacGregor), Anakin is bent on rescuing Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) from Separatist lackey General Grevious and Sith Lord Count Dooku (Christopher Lee). What no one knows is that Palpatine has his own agenda for young Skywalker...one that will transform the fate of the galaxy.

Returning home from the wars, Anakin is told by his wife Padme' Amidala (Natalie Portman) that she is pregnant. But joy turns to desperation as Anakin is tormented by prophetic visions of Padme' dying in childbirth. As the war erupts around him, a new desire rages inside his heart. Seeking the power to keep Padme' alive by any means necessary, Anakin turns to the Dark Side of the Force, desperate for answers. But as the hateful energies consume him, he is transformed into the most powerful Sith Lord ever...Darth Vader. And only one man can stop him...
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8/10
The Adventure Continues...
11 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Leonardo DiCaprio, John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrne, and Gerard Depardieu display the continuation of a legendary tale known as "The Three Musketeers".

The year is 1662, and Louis XIV, the King of France, has become a cruel and heartless heir to the throne. He seduces young women galore, only to discard them at a moment's notice. He abuses his power, ordering that spoiled food be given to the people, instead of the fresh amounts being reserved for the French Army. The citizens of France riot in the streets, and aging heroes Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D'Artagnan have long since parted ways.

Aramis is now a priest, seeking retribution for his sins. Porthos, ever the womanizer, has grown old and fears becoming useless. Athos lives peacefully with his son Raoul, and D'Artagnan has become a pained-but-loyal servant to a King unworthy of the title or the glory.

But when Louis commits an unthinkable crime by sending Raoul to the front lines to die so he may court the man's fiancé Christine for himself, Aramis hatches a plan to restore the honor of France...by replacing its king with another. Locked deep in the dungeons lies a prisoner with no name, known only as the Man in the Iron Mask.

Six years earlier, this man was condemned to life in prison by King Louis XIII, for one reason alone: his face was that of Louis XIV himself, in fact a twin brother. Made to disappear for the sake of peace for France, but imprisoned by the elder King for fear of discovery, this twin has never known why he was condemned...until now. Trained by the aging Musketeers in an elaborate deception, the man known as "Phillipe" replaces his brother, but is soon caught in the crossfire when the plan backfires, pitting friends, comrades, royalty, and devotion against each other in a battle for the honor and integrity of France.
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Time Trax (1993–1994)
Marvelous Show That Died Before Its Time...
17 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
"It began in the future. A scientist turning to evil; a time machine, called Trax. Criminals who vanish, and a lawman who must pursue into the past...

Now, he is among us, a special breed of man. A hunter, traveling through our world, searching for fugitives from his own...knowing he can not go home, until he has found them all. His name is Darien Lambert, and this is his story."

TIME TRAX was an absolutely fabulous show that was killed way too soon. Dale Midkiff ("Love Potion No. 9", "The Crow: Salvation") was simply brilliant in his role, as were Elizabeth Alexander & Peter Donat as SELMA and Dr. Mordicai Sahmbi (respectively). I loved this series, and would love to see it come out on DVD. Heck, even shows that only lasted a year like "Tru Calling" get a DVD release, and TIME TRAX lasted 2 years, with no DVD in sight as of yet. Get moving, WB!
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Spider-Man 2 (2004)
An Action-Filled Romantic Thrill-Ride (Contains Spoilers)
1 July 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie a few hours ago, and there is absolutely no comparison to how good this movie is; not even the original film can be compared! This film takes a dark (albeit slightly comedic) look at the life of Peter Parker, and the pressures he is being left to face.

It has been 2 years since Peter narrowly escaped death at the hands of the Green Goblin, also known as Norman Osborn, late father to Peter's friend Harry. As for Harry himself, he has become an angry, heart-wrenching alcoholic, who blames Spider-Man for the death of his father, and hates Peter for his "friendship" with him.

Mary Jane has changed a lot; she is now the star of a hit Broadway play, is successful, and also engaged to the son of J. Jonah Jameson! In the two years since that fateful day in the graveyard, she finds herself so deeply in love with Peter, but unable to depend on him because he has had absolutely no time for her (or anyone else, for that matter). She is fighting a war within herself, wrestling with the decision to confront Peter, or to simply move on with her life.

Meanwhile, Peter witnesses an experiment in fusion by the brilliant Otto Octavius, who assists himself with four mechanical arms to do his work. But when a test goes horribly wrong, the good doctor's dream is destroyed. Rising from the ashes, he vows to make anyone pay who dares to interfere with his quest to rebuild his life; even if that means hurting innocent people. Soon, everybody's favorite wall-crawler arrives, thus starting a "battle of the titans" for the safety of New York's populace.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! -------------------------

(1) In a very climactic scene, Octavius (nicknamed "Dr. Octopus" by J. Jonah Jameson) delivers Spider-Man to Harry Osborn's home, after defeating him in a battle royale on-board a speeding bullet train. Harry, hellbent on avenging his father's death, removes Spidey's mask, only to recoil in shock as he discovers Peter Parker's secret! It is a very monumental moment, one that is echoed near the end of the film.

(2) In the final battle between Spider-Man and Ock, Spidey's mask is torn off, revealing his identity to the doctor...and to Mary Jane Watson, who is held captive! After convincing Octavius to put aside his maniacal ways and help him, Peter realizes that "MJ" is watching. Freed of the burden that his double-life imposes, he is finally free to declare his love for her; there is a wonderfully romantic scene with the two of them, near the end of the film, as well as a few well-placed quips.

(3) The ending of this film sets up what will become Spidey's most challenging battle, for the planned "Spider-Man 3", set by Marvel and Sony to be released in the summer of 2007.
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The Crow (1994)
A Wonderful Dramatic Actioner with a Romantic Twist...
20 June 2004
In 1996 I first saw "The Crow", starring Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, & Michael Wincott. It wasn't until later that I learned of Brandon's tragic death, and the notoriety this film gained because of it.

In 1981, James O'Barr's life was altered forever when the love of his life was killed by a drunk driver. Seeking to overcome this tragedy, he put all of his pain, guilt, anger, and vengefulness into a graphic novel which took him 8 years to write. "The Crow: A Love Story" was published in 1989, and immediately started a phenomenon.

The film, closely adapted from the novel, tells the story of struggling rock musician Eric Draven and his fiancé' Shelly Webster, who are brutally massacred by murderer T-Bird and his gang of ruthless thugs. One year later, Eric is mysteriously resurrected by a hypnotic crow. Completely devoid of a conscience, Eric's soul has returned to seek the ultimate retribution and poetic justice...the men responsible for he and Shelley's murders must die. Then, he will be reunited with Shelley in the afterlife.

Although not as dark as the novel, this film is rated "R", for scenes of violence, sexuality, sexual abuse, language, and thematic elements. At the core of this film is a poetic love story, and I would recommend it to anyone who believes in everlasting love. =)
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A Memorable and Spectacular Family Film (Spoilers)
20 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Every year sees a TON of films, and 1989 was no exception; but the one film that sticks in my mind is "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids".

Rick Moranis ("Spaceballs", the "Ghostbusters" movies) stars as crazy scientist Wayne Szalinkski, who for the last 5 years has been working on his latest invention, a shrink ray. Unfortunately, all of his gizmos thus far have bombed, sometimes literally. But when the neighbor's baseball crashes through the attic window and activates the machine, both of the Szalinkski kids (as well as those of their neighbors) are rendered 3/4" tall! Now, while Wayne searches for them, the kids must fight to survive in a dangerous world concealed by the grass of their backyard. 50-foot tall grass blades, giant ants, a killer scorpion, and bees the size of trucks are just a few of the trials the children must face on their journey home.

This is a must-see film for any comedy or family-film nut, and I would also recommend "Beetlejuice" and "My Best Friend is a Vampire". =)
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Roswell (1999–2002)
One Great Ride!
26 February 2004
My sister got me hooked on "Roswell" at the beginning, but I kept watching because it was such a fantastic show! The episodes are wonderful, I love the music, and the storylines were incredible (even the often-dreaded Season 3, which I actually liked). I identified most with Max because he had been an outsider all his life, and had been in love with one woman but never had the courge to tell her (I felt like that a lot of the time). All the actors were wonderful, but I wish they hadn't made some of the decisions for Season 2 that they had. Well, I might as well list my favorite episodes, so here goes:

Season 1: Pilot, Leaving Normal, Blood Brother, The Toy House, Max to the Max.

Season 2: Skin & Bones, A Roswell Christmas Carol, Heart of Mine, The Departure

Season 3: Who Died & Made You King?, Graduation
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