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necredeye
Script Writer
(Aren't we all?)
Reviews
Idiocracy (2006)
Hilarious
I thought this movie was hilarious. I really enjoyed it. I rarely laugh out loud at movies, but this movie was good. There have been people saying maybe it's made for dumb people and thats why it was never too popular. Well without tooting my own horn too much, but I'm a college graduate, a professional writer, and, here comes some ego, my IQ has been officially tested by PA Dept. of Edu to be 140, which is above average.
So now that I sound like a pompous ass, I loved this movie. I feel that it probably can be enjoyed more as a commentary on the future downward spiral of the country. People who love low-brow humor (myself included) can get laughs out of the kicks to the balls because they're kicks to the balls. People who are more intellectual can get humor from the fact that this culture of idiots really enjoys kicks to the balls.
I think intelligence is probably, for the most part, negligible in who will find this funny, but intelligent people can surely find a lot to laugh at.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
You Get What You Ask For
And that's rare. Before you go see this movie, ask yourself "Do I want to see this?" If you don't think so, don't see it, you won't like it. Do you want to see a movie in Texas? A movie that features a Chainsaw prominently? A movie that involves the Massacre of teens? The origin story of a serial killer/monster figure? No? Then don't see the freaking Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE.
You get what the title says. Leatheface "Thomas Hewlett" is born and he does bad things to people. A bunch of people die in really horrible ways. It is painful. And guess what, this a prequel, so if you really think about it, probably none of the bad people will die and all of the good people will.
If you're old, squeamish, or only want to see "cinema," skip it. If you want to see a CHAINSAW MASSACRE in Texas, then see this movie. If you want blood, guts, chainsaws, and torture, hey, this film is for you. So don't go see it expecting art or something. Go see it expecting what it tells you.
You didn't go see Snakes on a Plane expecting a political drama involving Republicans and Democrates and espionage. You wanted SNAKES on a PLANE and got it. In this film, you get a Chainsaw Massacre in Texas.
R. Lee Ermey is awesome. The movie isn't as good as the Jessica Biel remake. But it gives you what you asked for and didn't really hold back, and I appreciate that.
Alone (2005)
Saw this at Shriekfest.
I saw this the other day at Shriekfest here in Los Angeles. It's pretty good. Fairly predictable, but interesting. The best thing going for it is Mandy Amano who is very pleasing to look at.
The selling point of this, besides Amano, is that it is a noir and set somewhere around the 1950s, making it a little bit different than the films that share its theme, namely Sorority House Massacre and the like.
Overall, don't ignore it if you can see it, but as a short, don't run too far out of your way. The acting is passable but not amazing, the score works, but I must admit I was impressed with the set dressing. With the exception of the outside of the sorority house, all the costumes and set dressings were spot on for the time period. The color correction inside the house was also nice.
Jack of All Trades (2000)
A lot better than I remembered
When this first came out I was living in an area that only aired a handful of the episodes. Maybe six of them. And although I loved Bruce Campbell and Brisco County, I remember thinking that this show just wasn't very good.
However, thanks to the wonders of DVD I have been able to revisit the story and tons of episodes I never got to see. And to my pleasant surprise, the show is very entertaining. Yes, there is a lot of cheese, but it's way more mature than I remember. Nearly every episode features a half dozen sexual references, many of which are unsuitable for children. Meaning I loved them! The show has good fight choreography, interesting ideas, and the acting is all great. Nearly all of the characters are likable. I must admit, I didn't like Verne Troyer's Napoleon. His acting is the worst. But the entire ensemble is generally awesome.
I highly recommend this series.
The Hillside Strangler (2004)
Pretty Good
This was a pretty decent flick. It wasn't amazing or anything. It had a real dirty 70s feel to it though. Thats what I liked best. The film has dirty language and dirty characters, which I enjoyed. They drop some serious bad words in bad combinations and mistreat women pretty constantly. Its not a happy film. Its a little light on the horror and gore, but its not really focusing on that. It focuses more on what kind people the serial killers were. Namely dirty bad people. But I found myself enjoying it and have recommended it to like-minded individuals. If you like dirty and exploitative films, you'll enjoy this throwback.
I give it an overall 6 of 10, but it will probably find its niche out there.
Terror Toons (2002)
Terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible (Terrible) Toons
This is easily one of the worst movies ever created. Words can not describe how horrible it was. It is the only film ever, in my entire life, that I started watching and didn't finish. I fast forwarded through most of the film because it was utter crap. Some other review compared it to porn, but come on, porn is Oscar caliber to this. Plus, there is only about 2 seconds of boob in it. Granted they're huge fake and wonderful, but 2 seconds barely makes me giggle. Stay away from this movie at all costs, unless you have a mental deathwish and want to destroy your brain and possibly throw up all of yourself.
I give this film a 1. The lowest rating I've ever given a film. And it deserved worse.
DarkWolf (2003)
Howlingly bad?
Well, no, not really. Its not really a good movie, but its not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I really didn't feel ripped off of my rental money, and sometimes thats all you can ask for. The plot is OK, nothing brilliant or new, the acting is pretty bad, but the cast is pretty. The directing is passable, but the effects are horrible, especially the werewolf effects, which in a werewolf movie, is a pretty big problem. There was a fairly decent amount of nudity, which to me is a pretty good thing, but it wasn't all that hot. All in all, its a fairly average direct to video movie, not the worst film I've ever seen and if you're bored a genre fan, check it out sometime. I'd even watch it again.
Bonus fact for horror geeks, Kane Hodder (Jason Vorhees in a few of them) plays the werewolf.
Land of the Dead (2005)
Romero, like Tarantino...
Is overrated. Everyone proclaims Romero a master. Ahem. Even his biggest fans admit that the majority of his movies are crap. His Zombie films are by far his best, but are weighed down with social commentary so blatant it feels as if you're slapped in the face with a wet salmon of political justice. Anyway, onto the film.
Land of the Dead is a pretty fun little flick, without too much going on to overload your brain. It pales in comparison to the Dawn of the Dead Remake, and even Shaun of the Dead (which admired Romero so much). The action is barely action. There is a lot of movement, but you're never really gripped by it. There are a few clever scares tucked in between fairly lame dialog. The acting isn't bad. Dennis Hopper is awesome as usual, and he owns every frame he is in. The special effects are good and its nice to see zombies on the big screen.
Overall this is a decent flick, if you're a fan of the genre I'm sure you'll like it, but if you're not a huge Romero or Zombie fan, you wont really be that excited by it. I'm a huge zombie fan, and this gets a 7.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Its good, but...
It could have been great. Johnny Depp is marvelous and Tim Burton is a master. But this just didn't come across as great. There was something missing. It could just be that the original was so fresh that it sticks with you for a long time, that when you're watching the new version, you're like 'well what about ...' or 'remember when...' But its still a good film. Johnny Depp is amazing as usual and his Wonka is a cool character, definitely weird, and mischievous. Visually, the movie is very fun and nice to look at. Again, its weird, but thats cool. A lot was made of this as being 'darker.' Yeah, some parts can be construed as darker, but I went in thinking the set designs were going to be like Sleepy Hollow. It is a film you can easily take a whole family too.
Overall, its a good fun flick I look forward to seeing again, although its not the best film of the year. (So far, for me, Batman Begins.)
Cursed (2005)
Curse of the Werewolf
Werewolf movies usually aren't that good,despite how cool werewolves are. The only werewolf movie i really like is Dog Soldiers. This movie is fairly lame, but not as bad as everyone said. I saw the Unrated version and wasn't impressed. There aren't very many kills and the ones we do see are fairly tame. There are only two good ones, and there was only one scene that was actually gory/gross and it lasted about 1 second and was soon forgotten. The jokes are lame. Perhaps it was supposed to be like Scream for werewolves, but this didn't work and it was just a lame walk through a predictable storyline. The dialogue is cheesy and the two main characters keep going through extreme situations and never react.
Whether its a car crash, watching someone die, being chased, or turning into a werewolf, or having resolved everything, there is no emotion. Everyone and everything just returns back to normal like nothing happened. If I was involved with werewolves, I'd probably be pretty freaked out or would at least mention it, rather than just show up to work like nothing happened. Its not really worth watching, maybe on HBO sometime.
Batman Begins (2005)
Holy Awesome Experience, Batman!
Batman Begins is an awesome film. Its easily the best movie I've seen in theaters this year, far better than both Star Wars and Mr and Mrs Smith. Christian Bale delivers an excellent performance both in and out of the bat suit. I am gay for Bale!! OK well, no, I'm still straight, but Bale does an excellent job. There is a lot of action, a lot of drama, good character development.
A lot like Spiderman (1), this movie is an origin story and sets up Batman for more good movies in this darker, more realistic style. Goodbye batnipples (and good riddance), hello new age! It really is just a great film over all and I cant recommend it more highly. I'm eagerly awaiting a sequel, which all signs point to the classic villain, The Joker.
This film is darker and hits you with more surprises than you'd expect, thanks to the Scarecrow's gas. It really is sweet, and it even has ninjas. And we all love ninjas.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
John and Jane Smith are, surprisingly, boring.
With names like that, perhaps we should have seen the blandness coming. Now, don't get me wrong, Angelina and Brad are both pretty cool people, and their characters in the movie are fairly interesting. Brad Pitt plays Brad Pitt and thats OK with me. My real problem is the movie takes its time to really get going and then its over. Like a virgin fumbling through his first sexual experience, the movie is slow to start and all too happy to end all too quickly, and I'm unsatisfied.
The action is here and there, and there are two great pieces that I enjoyed. But after the last one, tick, its pretty much over. No real wrap up. The movie is kind of fun, but I'd recommend waiting for DVD and renting, its only worth the watch once.
Koroshiya 1 (2001)
Ichi the Time Killer
OK, I really cant understand how this film is voted a 7. I give it a 3. The ending is utter crap and ridiculous and incomprehensible. I've heard the director's commentary and read an article about it, and NO ONE knows what the ending means, not Takashii Miike, no one. Its stupid.
Its necessary for me to say I saw the cut R-Rated US version, I couldn't find it uncut. I wish I did, because was this supposed to be filled with gore and blood? Was I supposed to be disturbed? Better try harder, or get more uncut copies. I was not impressed with the R cut at all, but the movie was such crap I don't think I'd watch the uncut. Maybe i'd jump right to the kills or something.
Ichi himself is a whining baby and a letdown. Kakatari or whatever was kinda cool at the beginning, but by the end this movie was yawntastic. I really need someone to show me some uncut stuff or otherwise this movie has nothing going for it. I'd like to see what the fuss is about, but the storyline is weak and not the easiest to follow. They try to sow meaning and a lesson of some sort into the fabric of the story, but fail. I did not enjoy this film and I watch a lot of movies and love gore and crazy stuff.
Not impressed. Maybe I'll post again if I see the uncut stuff, but i doubt my feelings on the story and plot will change.
Into the Sun (2005)
Surprise Surprise - Its Good!
Holy crap. I was completely stupified at the end of this movie. Why? Because I liked it. Yeah, its a Seagal straight to DVD release and I thought it was good. I don't really like Seagal and never really have, to me, he's always been 4th in line. (Arnold S., Jean Claud, Dolph Lundgren, then Seagal. Heck, maybe even Chuck Norris is in front of him.) One review said the beginning scene didn't make sense with the rest of the movie. I agree. It was stupid and embarrassing as we see an overweight Seagal try to run. He really needs to hit the gym, but otherwise, the movie is pretty good.
Seagal is sent to Japan to f'k up some Yakuza and Tong (another mafia type group) people who have joined forces. There are a couple of fight scenes, which are good for Seagal. He has never been a great actor to film because his style is too real. What, you ask, too real? In real martial arts, there really aren't many flashy moves, most of it is very quick with as little movement as possible. This is the way Seagal fights and its how he's portrayed, because its all he knows. And he does it well and its filmed pretty good. The fights are very realistic. I wish there was more gunplay, but there the sword stuff at the end is fairly interesting. Although I didn't know so many people still had swords in Japan, but whatever. It was pleasing.
The acting isn't the greatest, but its not bad. The Japanese actors really shine in this and are a blast to watch. They were my favorite part. But to the point of it all. Its a good action film with a decent plot filmed well. Better than Van Damme's latest, Wake of Death. Good action, strong violence, some nudity. Good stuff. Overall I'd recommend it as a rental or to buy on the $9 rack.
Toolbox Murders (2004)
Hooper is Master of Crap
Toolbox Murders is a complete waste of time. Tobe Hooper is attached to the "Masters of Horror" project and some people actually think he's a good director, well, he's finally driven the final nail into his own coffin with this tremendous turd. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, his one and only film worth watching (I'll allow Poltergeist, but he had a lot of help) is widely regarded as scary because of its amateur directing giving it a documentary style. Its minimalism is its charm. Well we're 30 years on and Hooper has learned nothing of the craft of directing. The performances are lackluster (the lead is horrible being able to act freaked out and nothing else), the story is crap, the dialogue blows, the shot selection is lame, nearly everything that happens is implausible, and the lighting is atrocious. OK yes, the dark is scary, but thats when you're in the dark. In a movie the dark is annoying because we don't know whats going on. Pass that memo to Hooper.
Further, Hooper goes through great lengths to set up tons of clichés and then purposefully avoids them. Tons of times you'll see the cliché coming and then he wont deliver, and its not clever, its repetitive and annoying. This film is still predictable though, despite Hooper's very visible attempt to try and make it unique. Simply put, its garbage from start to finish. This is not a slasher film, either. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that its awesome or has great inventive kills or a high body count. The kills are lame and poorly shot and very poorly lit. One guy seriously dies for like no reason. The total body count is around 7, most of which happen quickly near the end. And why does the killer use tools? There is absolutely no explanation for this. As for the killer himself, they feed us some garbage about his birth and the cult, all of which is stupid. But the kills really bothered me because using power tools and stuff should be super messy and gory and hardcore. Nope. The first kill and one of the last are OK in that respect, but most just suck. Oh and for some reason at the end the killer switches from killing to accomplish a goal (a stupid, stupid part of the stupid stupid story) and its pretty much business like, then at the end he giggles when he kills someone. Total crap.
The one positive is the score, which manages to help the film create tension at some points. There are a few jump scares and the film does a relatively decent job of keeping up tension, but it doesn't help at all. Its crap.
Dead End (2003)
Excellent Horror Film..
This was an excellent movie. I really wasn't expecting too much out of it, and was pleasantly surprised. The film has a very good atmosphere about it and maintains a great mood. I'm a horror junky and I was hooked through out. There aren't a lot of jump scares or anything outright nasty about it, it depends on its story to take you through it. And boy does it. The dialog is witty and tight and entirely believable.
There is a twist ending that throws a lot of people and it really didn't do too much for me, but it was clever in a way and didn't take anything away from the movie. The ending could have been a little better I guess, but the way the movie stands its still a 9/10. Its a fantastic film for true horror fans and may no play as well to those not expressly interested in the genre, but I found it to be fantastic. I rarely review films on IMDb, only if one is truly great, truly horrible, or if I'm truly bored. This one was great.
Mou gaan dou (2002)
Exciting Affairs
Wow.
I bought this movie straight away without seeing it first, based on its reputation. I do this a lot and sometimes you get burned. This time, it was worth it. I watched the recent DVD release available in the US.
The movie has a great premise, a triad mole in the police force hunting a police mole in the triad, and vice versa. Its such a great idea, I was wondering why I didn't think of it first.
While there wasn't as much action as I had hoped for, there was a great crime story and the suspense grew solidly throughout the film.
For a movie to impress me, it has to be overall good, but almost most importantly is the ending. There have been a lot of movies that I thought were good, right up until the ending. Underworld is an example. If the ending sucks, I cant enjoy the movie.
This ending was fantastic. At first I thought they were going to sell out on me, but no, this ending spun me in circles, tore a hole in my chest, ripped out my heart and kicked it off the wall, then put it back, gave me the shock paddles and sent me on my way. I was 100% pleased with the way it ended. Like a perfect cigar after a delicious meal.
See this movie. 9/10 I'm looking forward to obtaining the sequels!
Garden State (2004)
Not the Must See of the year, but...
Garden State was good. Especially as a first film for Zach Braff. The directing was simple but well enough. The writing was superior overall. Some parts were eh, but it was written very realistically (who didn't identify with at least one character, or know someone very like them?) and at times was utterly hilarious.
The times that didn't work well for me was when Braff started to go "deep" and it ended up sounding very phony. The comedy was brilliant, but not all of the deep moments translated well. These are simple mistakes by a first time writer. I would be very surprised if this was Braff's best film. I expect good things to come.
I rated this movie an 8. It isn't great, its not what everyone says, but there is something about it that makes you like it. Like i said, i expect Braff to improve. The reply value of this movie, for me, is about a 4/10. I'd watch it again, but I don't think I could watch it very often.
As others have said, Natalie Portman was awesome, especially in her beginning scenes. She was outstanding. If she was nominated for best supporting actress I would be OK with the nomination, but I don't think she deserves to win. It was good, but for the type of movie and character, I don't think it was Oscar worthy.
Good flick. Rent it.
Behind Enemy Lines (2001)
Art vs Action? Action wins by KO
Some people have mentioned film as an art, OK, yes it is. Others have called this movie propaganda. Eh. Not really. Its a money maker. The Government makes nothing off this directly, but Fox makes the green.
Lets get down to it. This movie is good. I love it and can watch it every week. Its just good action! Film is supposed to entertain, and this does. Lots of shooting, lots of explosions - thats what we all want sometimes. The movie is good fun action, the way i feel about SWAT and Terminator 3. They're not great movies, but they are great fun.
As for the politics of this movie, please. They needed a conflict to set the story in. This is not trying to make a point. Its trying to entertain.
Someone talked about Black Hawk Down showing Americans just fighting someone who looks different. Uh. Black Hawk Down was an accurate account of what really happened. A bunch of Americans (a lot of us are white!) went down in Somalia (a lot of them are black!) and the Somalians under command of the local warlord were sent to kill the Americans. The director did not decide to make them black to make it different. They were black. Most of the rangers were white. Thats how it was in the actual battle.
As for Serbs vs Croats and their respective accents, I can't tell the difference, thats my ignorance.
The ending. The ending is fun! He is not being chased by "70 snipers." There is 1 sniper. And yes, there is a tank and a perhaps 2 or 3 platoons of men (between 60 and 90 or so). But its not like he is running and they are shooting at him and missing. (Yes that does happen) But lets not forget the American task force! There are a bunch of Huey's cruising around laying down heavy fire, the Serbs are under constant attack, your aim breaks down. In war, its not like you hit someone every 5 shots. They have statistics that show its more like 1 casualty per 400,000 rounds or something. I thought the end was entertaining and fun.
Patriotism? OK, it is patriotic. Yay America. But this film isn't like "oo America is the best ever." Well, maybe at war. But it isn't saying that America is some peace loving god country. Heck, part of the beginning dialog is about how they want to fight. Also, the US Naval Commander ignores all sorts of orders and NATO opposition. It just shows what America has proved over and over again. We will not leave our people behind NO MATTER WHAT. Time and time again, America proves that. No matter who tries to stop us, we get our men back.
(Ok, maybe some exceptions, ie, USS Pueblo incident and USS Liberty. Look them up, very interesting) Closing point. This movie is fun and entertaining. 8/10 entertainment value. Re-Watchable!
Fei ying gai wak (1991)
Transitional Jackie
This is one of the more popular of Jackie Chans "early" films and with good reason - its a blast. I call it transitional because those who enjoyed movies such as "Shanghai Knights" can enjoy this and so can the followers of Chan's earlier movies.
Jackie is an Indiana Jones type character who, with the help of 3 attractive ladies, has to track down some hidden Nazi gold. Following him are two bumbling Muslim terrorist types who are entirely harmless, and later on a group of sheiks and ex-Nazis.
With a healthy dose of Kung Fu action and kickass motorcycle chases, as well as gunfights and ample doses of comedy, Operation Condor is a must own for any Jackie fan.
Also see Operation Condor 2: The Armor of the Gods, a prequel which is almost as entertaining.
A Guy Thing (2003)
Fairly Lame
I had hoped this movie was going to be mildly entertaining, like other sorts of its genre. However, it was lame and I didn't find myself laughing very much. Watch it on HBO, maybe, or if you've got a free rental to waste and you need a movie to pass the time. But I don't recommend paying to see it.
The plot is simple and straightforward, and it could have been funny, maybe, if the script was better. Jason Lee can be hilarious, and he gets a few laughs here and there, but the movie falls flat. Just don't go see this one. The directing is lackluster, but for what it is, directing isn't that important. I guess its main drawback is that it is just not very funny. See something else, don't waste your time here.
Dorm Daze (2003)
Worst Movie Ever... ?
Yes. This movie was horrible. It's advertised as some sexy college romp. OK, it happens on a college. True. There is otherwise no romping. There is HORRIBLE acting to compliment the horrible script and over all horrible movie. It is utter garbage.
As for sexy, umm... no. None of the chicks are attractive, there is a little pointless nudity added solely so that they could have an "un-rated" version. WEAK-ASS MOVIE.
Its dumb. It was a waste of time. Literally half of the people watching it with me fell asleep. Don't waste your time or money. Its the worst movie I've ever seen. I'd rather watch Rosie O'Donnel crap on fine china... Well OK no, scratch that. Still, you'd have to pay me to watch it again.
The Punisher (2004)
Good start to a Great Character
The Punisher is by no means perfect. Some things work wonderfully, others, while true to the comics, do not translate well into the movie. However, this is an origin tale. These are difficult to pull off perfectly. Hopefully a sequel will come along.
Thomas Jane is wonderful, and the bad guys, hey, we like to see them die. The movie is not overly gory, but it is violent. The last 15 minutes is worth the purchase of the DVD alone. This is a tale of Frank Castle slowly becoming the Punisher. By the end of the film, he is The Punisher and he is the Punisher we know and love from the comics.
The plot is good, the acting is acceptable, the action is great, Thomas Jane wonderful. I recommend this movie. It is a very fun movie and is in my rotation of "Go-To" movies when I'm bored and need some action to watch while at college.
a very respectable 7/10
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Well Done Film
Ok. I gave this a 10 of 10 to boost its rating up from a 7.4. This film is not perfect, but it is good. I'd give it probably an 8 or so. It is not like the original in terms of social commentary. I wish it had more, but it would have needed to be 30 minutes longer. This was an awesome action flick.
While some say that you dont care about the characters, I disagree. The one blonde chick, OK, i dont know her name either. She was hot. Real hot. CJ was such a badass that you had to love him, Ving Rhames was awesome, and the a few others you really cared for. And a handful you really wanted to die...Painfully... And they did.
Overall, if you like Zombies, guns, action, or horror, this movie is a definite must see. Catch it in the theaters so we get a sequel!!
--Quickdraw--