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Halloween Kills (2021)
Laughable
I didn't expect much from it considering the previous installment, and I should have just skipped it. It starts out terrible (once it picks up from the 1978 flashback) and only gets worse from there. The dialogue is terrible, as is the story. I didn't bother to look up who directed it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were an amateur. Anthony Michael Hall's character is laughably bad, as are some of the others.
The Detour (2016)
Starts Out Decent but is a Mess by Season 4.
The show starts off decent enough. I didn't think it was great, but good enough to keep my attention to give it a chance to improve, which it did. Season 3 is a decline and season 4 is a random and pointless train wreck. It's like they tried to squeak out two final seasons without enough content to do so. By season 4 everything I enjoyed about the show was gone. I'm on episode 8 of season 4, and it just gets worse as it goes along. I nearly stopped by episode 1 of season 4 and probably should have. My rating was a 7 for the first two seasons, but I lowered it due to the last two. If the series had started with season 4 I wouldn't have made it through 2 episodes.
Kamera o tomeru na! (2017)
They Don't Get Much Worse Than This
I made it through twelve minutes of this and it was arduous to even get that far. The acting and dialogue and terrible. There's not much else to say, aside from the ratings clearly being padded here because this isn't even a mediocre film, let alone 7.7 out of 10.
Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind (2018)
Brilliant and Touching
This biography of Robin Williams is brilliant and touching, just like Robin himself. It is a wonderful tribute to him and makes him even more endearing.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Not the Worst Movie I've Seen, but...
Very mild spoilers included...
Instead of waiting until the end to post a conclusion, I'll start right off by saying that the director made a mess of this film. There are too many random and modern types of monsters (for no reason) and jump-scares that are more suitable in movies like the remake of 13 Ghosts.
I'm a fan of Ryan Reynolds and while his acting is fine here, I find myself unable to believe the character transition as the evil is slowly consuming him; that may be my own issue based on the other roles he has taken and his mastery of sarcastic humor. In comparison, James Brolin is very believable in the original as he is overtaken by the evil.
There are multiple "special effect" type camera shots, such as slow motion and stuttering effects, scattered throughout that don't work well and pull your attention away from the experience.
Some additional backstory was added for what seemed solely to serve as an excuse to add a few more monster and "scary" characters, which detract from the flow of the story.
This film is set in the mid-70s, but very few of the hairstyles really seem to be appropriate. Some of the clothing doesn't seem quite correct either. One character wears multiple KISS shirts that are not only not era-correct, but also appear to be bootlegs not resembling any official KISS shirts I recall ever seeing.
With the extra monsters, backstory, jump-scares, era-innapropriate hairstyles and clothing, and cheap-looking camera effects, the movie does not flow well and I was constantly pulled out of the experience as I was continually noticing all those things.
I wanted to like this film, and while it's not the worst film I've seen, I won't likely watch it again despite owning it. There are far better movies out there starring Ryan Reynolds, and the original Amityville succeeds where this unfortunately falls short.
Blade Runner: Black Out 2022 (2017)
Dreadfully awful voice acting
The voice-acting is so bad that I was detached from the experience and spent more time noticing how bad the acting was than following the story. The animation is a mishmash of styles and occasionally incorporates realistic elements into scenes with other elements which have a hand-drawn style; I found this to be distracting and do not consider this short to be visually appealing.
Other reviewers have mentioned the story details, etc, so I'll skip those areas.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Unbelievably Bad
I watched the first 60 minutes and didn't laugh once. There hasn't been anything interesting or redeeming at all up to this point. Even Bill Murray couldn't save this flick. I'm not even going to sit through the remaining 45 minutes. The real stars here are the people who cut the trailer together and made this look like a movie worth watching.
Buffalo '66 (1998)
Awful
Possible minimal spoilers.
I attempted to watch this based on the 7.5 score it received here on IMDb. I can only guess that the majority of the high ratings are from friends and family of the cast and crew, because this film was so bad I didn't make it through thirty minutes before I shut it off. The direction is terrible; I felt like I was watching the film project of a film student who decided on a whim to become a filmmaker and then failed the class, deservedly. The odd overlays and cuts reek of amateur filmmaking. I didn't like anything about the film from the moment it started, aside from the odd clothing choice of Christina Ricci's character, who was in a dance class wearing what doesn't seem to me like clothing someone would be wearing in dance class, especially someone as busty as Christina. The film should've been over as soon as it started, because she had multiple chances when they first got into the car to just lock Gallo's character out and drive off. The car was already running and he got out of the car twice (I believe, maybe 3 times)before her in the parking lot. It's not like he even had a gun or gave her reason to believe he did. She simply could've locked the door, slid over and drove away. The worst he could've done was punch the car's glass. Then he gets out and goes across the street to void his bladder and she just sits and waits. I could understand if her character was mentally challenged, but what person of average intelligence wouldn't have driven off? Personally, I'd have run him down first. A ten year old child would have the sense to lock the doors and drive away, yet somehow Ricci's character didn't. There wasn't even anything likable about the characters. Gallow's character is so unlikable and unintelligent that I struggled to wait as long as I did to shut the film off. His parents have the personalities of stones. I realize that this is a black comedy, but the few areas I detected as being intended as funny simply were not. What little dialogue there is in the portion I sat through is terrible. I'm angry that I wasted a rental on this. This is only my opinion.
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Failed Attempt
I had high hopes for this film and expected to enjoy it based on the trailer, but alas, I did not. I'm not going to get too deep here, as many people have already done so and I really have no intention of watching this movie ever again, let alone to make notes for a review.
I found the movie to be derivative of multiple other works (including Blade Runner and other movies Scarlett has starred in), enough so that it affected my enjoyment level.
I personally feel that the CGI oftentimes was not as good as it should have been. If someone is going to release a CGI reliant movie, then the CGI should be top notch. There are times when Scarlett's body was clearly CGI and at those times, it looks like someone else's body entirely and sometimes it doesn't even look realistic. Bad CGI pulls me straight out of a viewing experience, especially when it involves bad physics (which also occurred in this movie).
There are plenty of other areas that bothered me and I could nitpick, but reviews are only one person's opinion and you may enjoy this film more than did I. I recommend forming your own opinion, but not setting your expectations too high.
John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)
Unbelievably Bad
Possible spoilers.
I'm giving this a 5 out of 10 because Ian McShane is always great in a film and because there are much worse films out there, but make no mistake, this is a terrible film and even worse as a sequel. I'm not going to spend an exorbitant amount of time here, but a review elsewhere on IMDb by Chance&Ru does a great job pointing out the reasons why this is a terrible movie. And before I get started, I did enjoy the first Wick movie for the most part.
Quick points: Major body count, but mostly just boring gun fights with faceless enemies meant as filler. Very little of the great hand-to-hand combat that was so enjoyable in the first Wick movie. Clearly the director was more interested in quantity than quality.
John Wick is a bada$$ in the first movie. So much so that mentioning his name invokes fear and he is called the Boogeyman. In this entry, no one is afraid of him, in fact, everyone is gunning for him. He even gets easily bested in a fight with Cassian before being saved due to falling into the Continental. Wick is winded and basically beaten when the fight stops and Cassian hasn't even broken a sweat.
He destroys his beloved car, which makes absolutely no sense. The Boogeyman we know from the first film would've taken out everyone in the garage before attracting their attention with the Mustang. Beyond that, Aurelio says he can fix it. Make no mistake, the Mustang is totaled. He wouldn't have driven that car anywhere, because among other things, there's no way the radiator wasn't destroyed, and there wasn't a salvageable panel on the car. Maybe they could've saved the rear-end, but in an overhead shot you can see clearly that the unibody is severely twisted. And what's up with the bumper-car scene where cars are just randomly, conveniently waiting to hit Wick's car and spin it in circles? Wow.
Wick is impervious to pain, gravity, broken bones and the limitations of the human body. He gets knocked out of the car at high velocity by the impact of another vehicle and stands up immediately. Insert eye roll here. He gets slammed to the ground from more than a few feet off the ground and it doesn't even knock the wind out of him. It doesn't phase him for a split second. Two rounds at point-blank through the stomach-area? No problem, doesn't slow him down a bit. House explodes and blows him out of the structure? He stands right back up as if an explosion of that magnitude has no concussive effect.
In New York City he can't walk for two minutes without being spotted by an enemy. If this section was intended as a time-lapse, it wasn't conveyed well in the movie at all, aside from the portion with the street musician and the sumo. Which goes back to an earlier point that suddenly no one remotely fears John Wick in this movie, aside from Abram.
I enjoyed the first chapter of John Wick, but after sitting through Chapter 2 (and believe me, I was tempted to shut it off within minutes), I certainly won't waste the time on Chapter 3, if it even gets made. The director should probably stick to his career as a stunt coordinator, as directing is clearly not his forte. Ditto for the writer. Did I mention how bad the writing and direction are? This a film that serves no purpose aside from a cash grab, or a possibly vanity project. The Wick character doesn't grow or evolve here and the "plot" (which consists of Wick being sent to kill someone by another someone to whom he is indebted to the tune of one favor, and then every hitperson in the world trying to kill him) is weak at best.
The Neon Demon (2016)
Easily One of the Worst Films I Have Ever Watched.
This is easily one of the worst films I have ever seen. I just wasted two hours sitting through it so I'm not spending much time here. There are plenty of reviews that go into detail about the reasons this is such a terrible film. I will say that Kendrick and Reeves only seem to be in this film to attract viewers as name-brand actors. Keanu's character is undeveloped and serves no real purpose here, at least not to an extent requiring anyone with the price tag he surely comes with. It's clear that the score here on IMDb and the reviews are padded. Your time would better be spent here reading a few of the 1, 2 and 3 star reviews and then watching anything but this film. When I see a film this terrible, with not a single redeeming quality or moment, I can't help but wonder how a group of writers, directors, producers and actors can all get behind something like this and think it's worth wasting their collective time and money on and then also have a studio promote and market it. So many films with great potential fall through the cracks and never get made or completed for whatever reasons, yet somehow films like this get made and promoted. I feel like I just watched a two hour fetish film written, directed and produced by some spoiled adolescent amateur art student somewhere, whose Daddy has loads of cash and influence. Nothing personal to those involved because obviously there were some folks who really wanted to make this film.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)
Not Terrible but Not a Worthy Successor to Dazed and Confused
As a fan of Dazed and Confused, when I found out about this film I was ecstatic but it just doesn't deliver; I really wanted it to be great but it never really gets there. The characters are mostly forgettable and not even overly likable. At times it seems like a bad copy of Dazed and Confused, with lines like "that's what I'm talking' about" repeated and characters such as the coach (who seems like a carbon copy of the assistant coach from Dazed and Confused) and Finnegan (who seems very much like an attempt to replicate McConaughey's Wooderson). It's set in the 80s but there really isn't an 80s experience here like Dazed and Confused delivered. Dazed and Confused gave us a look at the cars and some of the iconic things about the 70s, as well as experiences that gave the viewer a look at what being a teen in the 70s may have been like, but Everybody Wants Some never really delivers any of that. The performances here aren't bad (with the exception of one character who, to me, seemed like a parody) and it's not a terrible movie, it just lacks the magic of Dazed and Confused and in the end it's really just a flat film that never really gets the viewer excited or delivers. Of course, this is just my opinion and you may really enjoy it, so check it out yourself and form your own opinion because it's at least worth seeing once.
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Not Perfect but Quite Entertaining
I'll avoid dropping major spoilers and only specifically mention areas that I felt detracted from the film and that won't spoil anyone's experience by being mentioned.
It's rare anymore that I find a well-made, enjoyable horror movie. Flicks like Paranormal Activity, It Follows, and anything directed by Rob Zombie have somehow become the acceptable standard for horror. Yawn. I didn't watch any trailers or read anything about the plot of The Conjuring 2 and I didn't expect much from it. I received free pre-screening passes so I went to see it.
I found it to be quite entertaining and there is some creepy imagery. I won't elaborate so not to ruin anything for those not having seen it prior to reading this, but there are definitely some very interesting things visually and also a few that were quite unexpected. That's not to say there aren't moments of predictability and jump-scares, but for me the good far outweighed the bad, and there were even some humorous moments sprinkled throughout that worked quite well.
After only one viewing I certainly can't give an extremely detailed report, but the few negative things that bugged me while watching this are: Throughout the film, everyone seems to sleep like the dead, and loud noises, voices, crashes, etc., mostly don't wake anyone, even while sleeping in the same room as the disturbance. This trend begins at the start of the movie and is continued throughout...and it repeatedly pulled me out of the whole experience. The basement in the Hodgson residence is partially flooded and no one seems to find it strange or problematic. At one point it's raining and water is rushing in down some sort of trough. The whole basement area seems very unnatural. I'm not familiar with British housing, especially of the 70s, so I kept wondering if this was for plot-convenience and to make it more creepy, or if it is historically accurate and normal. There are a few other areas I found to be problematic, but I'm avoiding major spoilers and it's rare that films don't have a few flaws anyway.
Overall, I enjoyed it and I recommend checking it out. I'll be adding it to my horror collection once it arrives on blu-ray.
Victoria (2015)
Not Worth Watching
I don't think anything in this review could be considered a spoiler, but for safety sake I've listed as such. I'm not going to give away any major plot points or discuss the story in depth, as others here have done it. Looking at the overall score of this film here after watching it, I can't help but feel the reviews and score are padded. The fact that the film is shot in one take seems to be what everyone cares about, but to me it's a clear case of form over function because the story itself is extremely lacking and could've been told in an hour and a half instead of dragging it out for an additional hour. When you get right down to it, the plot is thin, and after sitting through the whole film, I felt cheated out of all the time spent watching. I kept waiting for something important to happen, but it was a steady stream of nothingness and pointless interactions. Consider if you filmed a drunken night out with friends and how entertaining that wouldn't be for anyone not involved. It's like forcing a random stranger to look at your family photos or home movies. That's exactly what watching this film is like. I was hard pressed to believe anyone in Victoria's situation would've acted as she did, especially not a woman to put herself in that situation with four drunk men that are shady from the moment they appear on screen. Had she acted as a normal person would've, the film could have been buttoned up in ten to fifteen minutes. I rated the movie five stars because I give credit for filming in one take, but I know it's entirely possible that there are multiple takes combined digitally here.
Cooties (2014)
Words Cannot Describe How Bad This Movie Is.
I wanted to like this movie, but I did not find anything remotely entertaining or redeeming about it. I'm not going to waste much time here because the movie doesn't deserve any more of my time. 40 minutes in I finally shut it off, and I can't say that I enjoyed one minute of it. I do enjoy horror films and also comedy/horror films such as Shaun of the Dead, but I cannot recommend this movie. I hoped the bad reviews here were just from people who didn't quite get the humor, but after sitting through 40 minutes, I can't see how anyone would even rate this movie a 5. I suspect the positive reviews are fake, or at least the majority of them are. I wasted a rental on this...don't make the same mistake.
Spiral (2007)
Not worth the time.
First, I have to say that I picked this film up based on it's rating and after perusing the reviews here. While I was sitting through this terrible film, I started reading the reviews again, and I have to wonder if every person from the crew posted a review, because I, nor the friend that watched this with me, saw none of the good points in this film that many of the other reviewers did. It is painstakingly slow and boring with no payoff. The camera work is oftentimes very shaky and the colors aren't true. I'm not going to waste any more of my time, or yours, reviewing this. In short: It's not pretty, it's not entertaining, and it reeks of pretentious amateurishness.
The Mist (2007)
Absolutely terrible.
About the only good thing I can say about this film is that there are some decent actors that deliver decent performances. Horrible CGI that looks like it was created on a made-for-TV budget, very few likable characters (understatement), characters whose actions are completely irrational and implausible, lame story with a minimal plot...I certainly hope the original story was better than this adaptation. I'm trying to keep this review to a minimum without including spoilers, as there are already plenty of reviews that cover that aspect, but IMDb requires reviews to be a minimum of ten lines. That being said, I'll add that I do personally think that Thomas Jane is a good actor, but that wasn't enough to save this film. I'll also add that I generally do not enjoy film adaptations of Stephen King's work. 10.5 lines. Ha!