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Reviews
Priest (2011)
Good potential but weak movie
This could have been a great movie , the story is nice and there are good actors to feet the characters but all this was badly exploited and the result is a pretty average SF flick:
POS : good atmosphere , nice costumes, descent acting, the overall story about the endless war between humans and vampires is nice (I like it) , music and special effects are OK.
CON: the animated cartoon at the beginning is weak and it is OBVIOUSLY a cheap way to show a story, no enough depth in the human citadel (how the people live , how the main hero live), missing fight between black hat vs 3 priest, too much cowboy style near ridiculous, last fight on a train is not interesting, the all plot about the new vampire menace is weak, the kidnapping of the girl is irrelevant, From where the train started (I mean they kidnapped the girl then attacked the city near the hive ?), numerous holes in the world constancy ( how come a city can be near a (only several years) ancient vampire hive without any protection , any guards, how come an big outpost can be overcome by vampires and minions without alarm the main city, how come there are ancient deserted humans city with skyscrapers and no protective walls as there was a war against the vampires at this time), weak annoying humor time to time with the sheriff, missing about 30 min (only 87 min movie, what a joke).
It could have be much much better with a bit more dark and mysterious world, a better explained society and heroes (no cowboy please)to care about and a vampire menace more frightening.
Kick-Ass (2010)
First pedo action movie ?
This movie is just plain horrible, there are not hero there but just sadistic psychopath in costume murdering people. I'n not an angel, I saw a lot of hard core movies but I guess it is the first time than a kid is exploited like this in an "action flick" ... This thing is outrageous as a child porn movie !!! It is not strange as our society is ruled by a ruthless elite class and they show themselves more and more in public view. This movie is testing public reaction, and I hope people will get angry as I was watching this snuff film. Last thing , these M*F* have use one of the best score of an western movie during a scene a child is murdering in cold blood several people like it was a joke, or cool, it is atrocious ...
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
a Z movie del luxe
I have always wondering what a very low budget Z movie flick producer could do with big money ...now I know. Indy is a flat adventure movie with ridiculous stun than make RAMBO 3 an war documentary (really I felt insulted). Indy goes this time against the soviets (ouf the Germans are spare ...for now) to find ....an ...an ...an artifact , or a lost city, I don't remember . Gosh, you can fell the genius touch during all the movie of the silver screen brothers Spielberg/Lucas ...not. I could have write a better story after have been merge in a tank of whiskey for 3 days, this movie sucks where ever you put your eyes on it .
If you plan to go spend your money to see this movie , aboard , aboard I repeat , Aboard !!!!
Bee Movie (2007)
Inter-species breeding propaganda
I'm fortunately filter all what my children are watching (you should do the same) and I enjoy very much the animated movies of all sort.
The BEE MOVIE is an horror movie, after the GMO food and the new law in Britain which allow research with mixing human and animals cells , we have this : the story is truly boring and lame but we have for the first time a love story between a woman and a male bee (with explicit comments) , what is the point of this ..., I could not watch it to the end.
Totally not for our children, boycott this crap, avoid it at all cost , but no, watch it to see this disgusting Inter-species breeding propaganda , but save your poor children from it.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)
Paris bludgeon massacre , stupid movie with one interesting moment
Anyone who has any basic notion in chemistry and biology will find this movie stupid and unreal , I mean... make a SF fantastic movie instead but please stop to try to make some kind of historical style with all these sick macabre view of alternative chemistry with extraordinary and XXX rated result because it's just suck.
I found this movie disturbing and quite lame, but ... one very interesting thing appears in the movie : a view of mass manipulation who can change the mood of the mob and that it is not a fiction , check the HAARP project(the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) on the net.
Alien Apocalypse (2005)
Pretty nice and I will say why ...
We are in October 2007 , and so far he is one of the best movie I saw this year, way better than "Transformer" or "the fantastic four".
With a little budget and made for the TV ,Alien Apocalypse is a post atomic earth with aliens invasion and an atmosphere of the 1968's planet of the apes story , a very good subject for a movie so far.
I saw it with french voices , the movie has hilarious quote than I don't know is was from the original text or the french actors get wild , but half of the movie is in the comedy stand and it was meant to be. The movie carry a very important message which make me feel very happy to hear : "give me freedom or give me death" it is a very very important message than we should all remember in the near years who are coming (I understand myself).
Bruce Campbell is good as always , the rest of the cast is OK and some time very funny , their is action and some gore , the music is good and the special effects OK. The story is simple but not bad at all , but of course the movie could have be MUCH better if the director used some imagination and try a little bit harder.
If you like post atomic and aliens , it is nice to watch it, I think for a TV movie it is pretty nice. I give a 7 and I will say like Dr Zoidberg of "Futurama" : more ...M-O-R-E !!!!!
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Silly movie
The movie starts great but then the story gets more and more total silly situation , who doesn't make any sens at all .
************may contain spoilers******************
Where go the bandits after the robbery , where their share the money, how act the prisoner during the trip to the train station and the reaction of the escort guys and so and so....
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The acting and the filming is good , the story is weak , full of silly situation to make the story advance. It should have be much better , but maybe the main idea was not so good after all for a descent western movie. The ending is a total non sense in my taste.
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
a sick false subversive movie
The punisher meets Mike Guyver meets James Bond meets Bugs Bunny . This is a movie with one page script : a no one know kick ass tough guy protect a baby form an army of killer who want to kill the baby for some reason.
The use of a baby (hopefully a puppet but we never know) for this kind of movie is quite DISTURBING who by the way should has die a real life hundred times by the bad treatment he gets. I was in army , and I can say , shooting at very close range , he dies , the noise is extremely painful for the ears and the heart , also you do not give baby food to a new born , it doesn't work , a new born baby it is extremely weak.
We see during the movie quite much shooting and action, stupid jokes ,necrophic sex (2 times) and tortures. The movie is quite lame and unreal with James Bond moves and stuns , it also has huge holes in the story plots but it is a common thing in movie industry nowadays, the stupid soft "hard rock" score finish to give to the all thing a magnitude of crapyness.
Now let's get to the message , because there is always a hidden message in a movie , I accuse this movie with his stupid conspiracy to be a direct attack to the American second amendment to possess a weapon.
This movie is a false "subversive independent movie " , it is a propaganda movie made... by you know you.
D-War (2007)
Godzilla meets Starwars meets Kunfu meets Crappiest writer ever
Gosh... heu...mmm...ffff how to start, first I didn't understand the main story ...really , it is , I think, some kind of huge serpent dragon who wants to become more strong but has to find a girl with a mark who is born every 500 years , well it is kind of story that if you are not Chinese or Japanese (well here Korean) you cannot understand...well that's it , you know everything, ho yeah crappiest dialog ever , we are at the bottom of the sea , I'm pretty sure they will never take a quote of this movie for a movie trivia game.
I give a 4, because it's a SF movie, for the special effects ,2 jokes with an zoo guardian, and a battle in a city between the US army and some medieval Galactica cylons mounted on dinosaurs shooting rockets. The story is dump and silly, the acting is poor, the dialog are crap, only the special effects save the movie for being a total infamy.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
Silly and almost bad
I understand now how filmmakers write their script, first they think to some "cool scene" , it is that they write first, then they build a story to link theses "cool scene" at the result than stupid people do stupid things making silly events to advance a pointless story.
The movie however starts good , with some trill and action, but here again we have the "stupid shacked hand-held camera motion" who make the action confuse and add NOTHING to the movie, no extra tension, no extra drama, no fancy effect ... ho yeah it give sea-sickness.
The story who follow is 2 kids who mess around and don't fell sorry of it and situations that defy the base of the human logic and intellect. 28 Weeks Later without theses completely silly events and the stupid shacked camera could have be a much better movie.
I'm glad some other people feel the same way and do not over-rate this movie, I give a 4 starts to punish for taking me for a dumb and for messing around with the camera.
Employee of the Month (2006)
pretty cool and under-rated
I have watch this movie last Saturday in a friend place and I liked it very much, I don't understand the under-rate of this movie in IMDb. I was not so happy when my friend announce the title of the movie and tell is a romance/comedy, I was afraid because you can expect the worse in this movie category, so I was ready in the conception of a complain to skip it and move for the next movie of our evening show.
Surprisly I get hook from the start, the movie is light and entertaining, the story is good ,the acting is good, the humor is good.
What is wrong with you people ? Are you "epic movie" fans ? It is a excellent light comedy/romance movie, I give a 8, it deserves it, best comedy with IDIOCRACY for the year 2006.
Grindhouse (2007)
Painful for the eyes to watch
When the movie starts we have a pretty funny trailer of a fake movie with the picture quality quite bad,jumping, scratched with some failure with the sound track in fact a "fake bad quality picture" trailer of a fake movie... I thought it was quite cool but then the real movie starts, the "fake bad quality picture" continue ... killing my eyes for 90 minutes ... I didn't understand why ?
Was it an homage to what the people living in a small village in India or a ghost town in the middle of the desert in south America experimented in their movie theater ? Yeah but there are hundred of millions of people who never experimented that so ...no nostalgia about it for them.
Was it some kind of joke , well it was funny for 5 minutes but like we say the better jokes are the shorter ones ?
The first part movie was nice even so ,R.Rodrigez made a good action and zombies story like it always should be with Tom Savini so funny as always , Michael Biehn from "Aliens" ...well a bunch of nice actors. It was not a serious story, so the movie went well.
Hopfully it will be a "restored" version DVD :) because to difficult to watch it again.
The second part movie was made by Q.Tarentino , a OK/good story with the excellent Kurt Russell, watchable until the 15 last minutes ...Come on Tarentino we all know your kind of women fantasy , but do you have to make all the women who stand the bad guy as a "kill bill" copycat , half masculine , half b*itch ...you know for a loooot of men it is not really their taste. Do you make movies or home made videos for personal use ?
Interressing movie , funny fake movie trailers , but I give a 6 for over-exploiting a good idea, destroying my beautiful eyes and insulting the real women.
Fido (2006)
A disgusting movie
There is people who like better animals than humankind , it is a pathology ...here we have a movie from the same level than Romero's "Land of the dead" where zombies are some what better , more human and friendly than the living ones ...
The movie started good and promising for me but when the pet zombies started to take more and more the place of the living ... maybe even on the bed ??? ... I start to feel disgust about the situation, the situation appears also completely silly with a population of decomposed corpses (what 's about the smell ?) ,serving very goofy the humans, what was the point ???... ho yeah it was the humor parts of the movie ... sorry I didn't get it.
I was not against the fact than the zombies were used as slaves , but the relation between the humans/humans and the humans/zombies described here are just totally unreal to the impossible , and that make the movie interest fall minute by minute ...
The movie tried to be controversial with maybe a criticism of our society somehow , I didn't find where , the situation just cannot stand up the base of the human reaction who will never let zombies walking around especially with a so poor efficiency. I'm fed up of all theses movies writers which to come to a desired situation just distort to the extreme idiocy how any people should react.
OK it's a fantasy movie but please let's us know in a beginning note than the heroes in this movie are totally stupid and not reflect the people in the real life ... at least it will be more honest for us the customers.
I'm a zombies movie fan , but I don't love zombies that much like some necrophiliacs around here , I give a 3 for the beginning of the movie who's pretty cool ... The end of the movie just give me a revulsion , because it is just sick and stupid and the guy who wrote the story or never was a mother or never had child ...
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I edit my post to fix a little mistake and after to have read the others reviews to add few words. I have read around there are in the movie philosophical, political, comedy view of the American society blablabla ...ok but where are the people , the actor play nice, but they don't play as human people , so the criticism of the society is base on what ?
we have totally strange humans who allow falling apart zombies (who much time zombies can stand like that , 6 months , 1 year before to be eat by worms or just decompose themselves ??), who can be near relatives (ok people has lost any emotion ... but difficult to believe), serve them very badly (like I say it was the funny part of the movie , like breaking stuff, very funny indeed ), bring the food without think about any disease (egnouh few days to have mortal epidemic if living near dead bodies), the smell, or the view of these horrible monsters...
So please people do not start to see any thing serious in this movie , to read between the lines,to discover a message or a homage or a critic of anything , because there are no link to the real life.
This movie is a pure fantasy who tends to the horror-comedy style (but definitely not satiric ) where instead to see people involve in a strange adventure , we see strange people involve in a strange adventure.
300 (2006)
Superb movie
I just saw 300 , I liked the movie very much , as usual when a movie doesn't go in the "standard Hollywood correctness" we 've got a bunch of unhappy people for some reason , here complaining about the historical mistake and so ...did the movie tried to tend to historical accuracy ...no ,it's a art action movie "based" of a historical battle and the free adaptation is mentioned at the beginning of the movie , well ...
I could have give a 9 stars but the Queen Gorgo subplot was a little bite weak and her 5 minutes speech and the even who follows was quite stupid and didn't fit with the rest of the movie.
Also the movie spear us , thanks GOD, of the "modern legend of the gay attitude" of the men from antiquity , no ,the Greeks and the Romans were NOT all gay , nothing , I repeat , nothing confirm that myth from serious studies and original archives , nothing ... Theses people have a lot of babies and survive until today with their family ...the family , base of any society since the dawn of mankind , without family , no society can survive . So yes in this movie , the Spartans are hyper-masculine or maybe they are just masculine that change from the last Alexander the great movie...
Nowadays some people do not like to see men act like men...strange.
This movie is special and I like it and I feel it was like a 30 minutes movie because it was good, best movie 2007 so far ...
BloodRayne (2005)
It should have been better
I saw this movie last night ,I thing the story line was OK but badly exploited , the acting was medium , there is quite much gore and action but the stuns are low quality also the main hero who is a woman half vampire almost cannot rise up her 2 heavy swords and is very slow to fight ,that was very funny , also ALL the costumes were totally clean and very bright just from the washing machine , strange from middle-age adventurers , marauders, vampires, mods ...
I give a 5 because it was a movie for adults with action and gore , the story talk about vampires theme I like, and add few cool things like the main hero can see the really face of the vampires who are walking around the population and showing their faces like "it is my territory go away".
They could have make a much better movie with the budget they have even with the clean costumes by just erase from the production , the screenplay writer and the director and ban them to ever think to make a movie in their life.
Idiocracy (2006)
Funniest film of the year and frightening too
As usual when a movie just doesn't follow the regular "crap" standard , it get a bad review , maybe theses dumbs officials movies reviewers get offended because they saw themselves on the screen , who knows ? I say this movie is good , it is not the best but it is good and he is original , for my part it scare me also because I meet more and more dumb people , is it a vision of our future ? hope not even it could be funny to see that ...for a while.
I like "post atomic" SF movies , like Blade runner , Planet of the Apes (1968), escape from New-york, this movie is one of them in his own style .
If you like SF movies with "post atomic" theme , if you like comedy with a little slice of "Beavis and Butt head" touch then you going to like it ...if not, f*ck you !! ( you will understand :) watching it )
Apocalypto (2006)
Best movie of 2006 , and outrageous critics
The problem with the professional movies critic and some of the users of IMDb , is some people around here are aware of the ancient civilizations and have some knowledge about them as ME for instance , but I will talk about it later.
This movie is just the best of the year , Mel Gibson has save the year 2006 and just kick the butt of all the majors productions of this same year who have serve us their hamburgers as usual. Watch this movie is like take a seat in a time machine , every thing is very well made and asked months of preparation , acting , directing , music , story ...are very good , read other users for more informations .
Now for the outrageous criticizes :
1- the violence , about 5 minutes of 2 hours , yes there is some violence who is not free but part of the story and just reflect " a little" what was the reality at this time and at this place, also any ..I say ANY horror movies or slaters thrillers of this year have 10 times more gore than this movies . Some magazines said it is a sick movie , they just lie.
2- the Mayas never were "THE GOOD GUYS" of the south America , it is just a myth, they were cruel as the Aztecs , they sacrificed people and eat them as the Aztecs and ho ...Mel Gibson has forget to film where the Mayas skin alive their prisoners and wear it like cloth during a ritual dance. And we know all that since the 50's from many searchers Americans, French and Italians.
3-the movie is time line very accurate (architecture ,costumes) only for one thing , the prisoners were sacrificed not at once when arrived in the city , but Mel Gibson made a movie not a document .
So why ALL theses incredible attacks from every where ? Also here in France , stupids and untrue reviews in official movies magazines , what is all this ?
It seems they try to attack Mel Gibson instead to review a movie for some reasons maybe because he makes goods movies making Hollywood productions looks stupid and lame , maybe because he has made a Christian movie about Jesus, maybe because his private life , maybe because all this we see personal attacks disguised under fakes movies reviews WHAT A SHAME , fortunately we have IMDb to have some good , clear and honest movies reviews.
I never say that before but if you want to travel in an other dimension and in an other time , go to watch this movie , it is just the best around .
Final Days of Planet Earth (2006)
OK B movie
During a exploring trip to the moon , something go wrong for the crew of the spaceship. Few month later a archaeologist has his work station closed after a strange accident , a reporter give him the will to investigate more bizarre events in his town.
From the title , I was expected a catastrophic style movie , and was surprised to have something different coming .
I just have see this movie to the end , so it's was quite nice for me as I have zapped severals movies previously this one , you know you use the TV command to quickly advance between the actions moments.
Of course , the movie has some little mistakes , but it gives me an overall good impression , maybe helped by the fact I love aliens invasion movies. For a TV movie , the specials effects were descent, the main story, music, action and acting was OK.
I give a 6 , and keep coming aliens invasion movie please .
Feast (2005)
Nice try but ...
It didn't work .
The movie starts good for me , a driving bar is surrounded by monsters from...outer space or an other dimension , well... who cares, and the humans inside make a stand . Nice , but after few minutes I start to be less happy .
I liked few things from the movie like you really don't know who is going to survive , but the plot was low , action is a little bite confusing (camera shakes a lot , and you don't understand who do what ), too much claws crossing doors/windows/wall/floor and grabbing someone making the death too random and cut down the suspense. We have no hint about the monsters , what,where,why ...well you do your own history, also really stupid baby gestation time for them .
A really medium B movie
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*****Maybe spoil ******* Gross moment like monsters have sex and oral rape a women *****Maybe spoil *******
In Hell (2003)
A good B movie
Jean Claude is back for the better . After have made some low z movies , he is back with this good movie . we see him more "human" than usual and we are in his side at once than the movie starts and it is VERY IMPORTANT , I saw some other movies lately than I didn't care much for what was going on , but in this movie you want to know what will happen to him.
After have cross the desert , it sounds like He has take some experience of life and , and we can see it try to act more better , I give a 7 , the movie deserve it .
I like this movie and I wish he will make others from this same brand , I recommend also REPLICANT , a satisfying SF thriller movie with Jean Claude from the same movie company.
V for Vendetta (2005)
S for Stupid
N for non sense , O for Otragious , L for Lame ,G for Give me back my money , and W for Wachowski brothers go to make Matrix 3 with a non crappy ending.
Non sense , how the hero accomplish ALL HIS TRICKS ...???? how he can go there , have that , do that ... (with all the time a ugly mask and a stupid hat) in a total police controlled state , who knows , and the Wachowski brothers say TO YOU , who cares just watch the movie and shut up , because you -do-not-unders-tand , be-cau-se you are stupid.
Otragious , a total insult to Christianity , Christianity = Nazi and pedophile is this movie , and you know what Islam is beautiful ...the Wachowski brothers know who be friend with and who they can attack in total impunity .
Lame , the all story , the plot , the stupid mask , the reaction of the population watching the TV (soooo lame ...they should have take some actors , it is quite embarrassing) , the dialogs ...
Give me back my money. Wachowski brothers , you have made a stupid movie but the worst of it you have insulted Christianity in the most arrogant way , I'm not against to have some bad Christians personages in a movie if the all movie is not against my faith , but hey, I forgive you , the movie is so bad than only poor mind will appreciate it .
Ultraviolet (2006)
An other crappy MTV movie style
Ffff...what to say ...I'm 37 and good movies start to be more and more rare .
I saw few weeks ago Aeon Flux , a MTV movie , it's the same crap , some tough girl who kill a lot of black nazi uniform bad guy , the male friend is quite girlish . I hate movies when women act like men and men like women , by the way in this movie Milla Jovovich has 3 stun girl do to all the action part , she can make all the killers eyes she want ,she's not to much tough for me knowing that .
What about the story , well first the atmosphere was quite a rip of the good movie Equilibrium ,IT IS NOT a excuse it's the same director for this 2 movies , the plot (like Aeon Flux) is confuse and I didn't care so much because ...I don't know ...I feel nothing , I didn't understand nothing and I didn't care for what going on ...
Man , I'm not a difficult person and I saw hundred of SF movie, but this , what is it ? yes there is lot of action (kunfu + matrix + equilibrium + blade), yes there is lot of special effect(not so great) , yes there is techno music , yes it's a movie for 12 years old (nooooo blood)stupid who watch MTV all day long and who just want to watch something jumping and shooting... but it is not a movie it's a video game trailer .
I have pay to see this lame movie so I'm quite rude , it's laaaaame piece of dog food: no plot , a "who cares ?" story , enjoyment = ZERO and so ... I give 2 star , 1 because it's a SF movie and 1 because there are some special effects.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Again a great story spoiled by Steven Spielberg
Steven Spielberg loves to make drama and always makes movies about family relationship , a son with his mother , a daughter with her father , childes with adults , you name it , but as a "good" businessman he is afraid to make a pure drama without any computer special effects , to not lose any dollars he adds specials features to his soap operas like robots (AI), dinosaurs (Jurrasic Park 1,2,3), Meteors (deep impact, the worse movie I ever saw in theater after Jaws 4) and now aliens in this movie , War of the Worlds, he uses also the service of a good famous actor ,here Tom Cruise ...et voilà.
Sadly the trick is working , and people keep coming to watch the Steven Spielberg true dramas fake SF movies .
If you take a SF movie like Aliens or Predator , The central point is the monster and the relationships of the heroes just turn around this central point , theses relations are not too deep but enough to know what everyone is thinking and feeling , the best part is for the plot,the suspense ,the action and the thrill. In this movie the aliens are in the second plan ,in the background ,who are they , what they are doing , if you didn't read the book or seen the first movie , you just don't know , Steven Spilberg confessed it, he wanted to concentrate the story to a relation between a father and his daughter, I don't understand why he has to spoil a great story to make his drama when many many SF fans just don't care about it and want to see a story about aliens. OK , we have some cool specials effects for 10-15 min in a 2 hours movie ( well better than Deep impact who had 5 min of special effects for 3 hours of crappy talking ).
For those who enjoy the original book of HG.wells in 1898 or the very cool old movie made in 1953 by George Pal (both stories didn't involve kids in it, but it seems than Steven Spilberg cannot make a movie without a kid ), this one smells the fraud.
I give a 2 star for this poor movie , with a poor script , a very good original story spoiled with holes and non senses (that were not in the 2 previous versions ), some stupid clichés from the first movie made in 1953 , strangely some obvious political messages included ??? , and a medium soundtrack performed by John Williams himself who was in lack of inspiration this time , i don't blame him.
The two stars go for the specials effects , and the rare exciting scenes .The ones who have put 10 stars on this movie are just some unbrainded fanatic propagandists with no objectives criticizes to argue with, the only question is who are this people , very easy customers , titanium hard core Spielberg fans or else ?
I would like to say two last things , when you watch Steven Spilberg movies its like to go in a restaurant and what ever meal you order you get the same hamburger with different sauce on it , he have made some great movies but this ones will join the low B movies when the specials effects will be old in the few years to come.
Also, there is no movie for adults anymore ( well OK , the porn ), nowadays to make a maximum profit, Hollywood serves us only family movies than include kids,teens and adults together , movies for everyone than are in fact movies for no one.