Reviews

In what was an attempt at a humorous parody of the film "They Live", Bart vs the Space Mutants used a mechanic in which a pair of sunglasses allow Bart to distinguish which characters were, in fact, aliens in disguise. This concept is cute, albeit it is only used for the sake of gathering coins from said aliens by jumping on their heads. The coins can then be used for purchasing a little arsenal of things to accomplish your goals in each level; the first being a hunt to remove all things purple colored by making them red, but the following level is a mundane hat-hunt where you jump into characters to remove their hats. It makes no sense, and it's this level where the game's ridiculously difficult platforming reaches its apex. This persists throughout, with each new level featuring some odd thing in the world that has to be removed or altered to finish your goal, with the jumps becoming more absurdly difficult along the way. It's not a particularly enjoyable experience, even if you are a diehard fan of the series, and despite having grown up with it, I find Bart's Nightmare to be the more enjoyable Simpsons title of the time, or the arcade game for that matter. Worth playing for the unique concept and overall charm, but also worth rage quitting for the platforming. If you've played it before as a child as I had, some nostalgiac tug at your heart will prevent you from hating it entirely, but I can't see anyone without the same sense of nostalgia enjoying anything about this game.

As a fan of the first two TMNT films, I can still recall the excitement I had as a child walking into the theater to see this new film, and much to my dismay within the first 15 minutes, something already seemed very off. The humor-if you can call it that- comes off very forced, with the unusually horny turtles spouting boring one-liners that even a child would find questionable inbetween ogling April and looking downright frightening.

You can tell the animatronics budget wasn't quite on par with the first two, with some of the terrible, robotic facial expressions being the only source of laughter (or anything resembling entertainment) to be found In this film, whose plot feels dreary and disconnected from the other two films.

As a child, this movie was the first and only film to make me fall asleep in the theater. As an adult, history repeated itself when I attempted to watch this with my boyfriend to show him just how terrible it was. The already lackluster comedy is terribly reused as well, with a handful of jokes spread throughout where the turtles refer to a bad guy as a particular famous person. This happens again and again, and in none of the cases do they resemble the people they're referring to enough to warrant it being used so often for so many different characters.

The voice acting isn't so bad (with one exception just the lines they're delivering. The one exception would be Raphael, whose acting is almost as bad as the material he has to work with.

I don't recommend this movie to anyone- if you're a fan of the series, just stick to the first two, there's literally nothing to enjoy about this film, except its effectiveness as a natural cure for insomnia.

The year is 2135 AD, and you are Casey.

In the midst of a war you were critically wounded in such a way that, the only way to preserve your consciousness, everything that is you, is to place your brain inside of a floating robot- to be fair, the brain is in a mechanism on the ship which wirelessly transmits itself to the robot. Like Space Bluetooth, only with better range.

Bored and looking for some "tasty salvage" to make money from, Ari and Zack decide to go exploring in a former war-torn sector, finding there an old abandoned alien ship.

While this is an FMV title, and there are definitely lengthy sequences with no interactivity whatsoever, there are also segments where exploration is key, where you are given the freedom to fly about the ship, and have to in order to proceed.

For the most part, though, things are pretty linear, where you'll be going from one puzzle to the next, all the while Ari and Zack, portrayed by Tia Carrere (of "Wayne's World" fame) and Christian Bocher (from "Stargate SG-1") respectively, exchange witticisms- these two are genuinely likable characters, a rare trait for an FMV game to have.

While the CGI is pretty dated, and what the actors are working with here is a mostly-CGI alien ship, it also manages to create a bright, often pretty alien atmosphere that manages to fill you with a sense of wonder and mystery as you explore it, hoping to find some way off of it before it finishes its collision course with the sun (hence the name)

It's not all puzzles and occasional ship-exploration, though, there are a variety of action sequences that require you to think fast in order to help Ari & Zack proceed safely through the ship, and your little floating robot self is equipped with its own laser gun as well.

This is a game that I personally absolutely love and return to every few years just because I enjoy the story, the puzzles, the soundtrack, and the feeling of mystery and wonder that it inspired in me growing up, and even today can still feel. It also has a few alternate endings- not enough to give it a ton of replay value, but still cool.

There is also has a difficulty setting, affecting mainly the puzzles, but still a nice touch for someone wanting to go back and experience it again with a new challenge. It has a cute story, witty dialogue, Tia Carrere, it's set on an alien spaceship, what else do you need, really?

While Cadillacs & Dinosaurs: The Second Cataclysm isn't a great game by any means, it has its own charm. The game's premise sees you driving through the jungle whilst trying to shoot obstacles that block your path, a premise that can get monotonous in single-player. However, in the game's multiplayer, where one player drives the car as the other works on shooting rocks, logs, and the occasional poacher, it can be kind of fun... for a time.

Those accustomed to Turok and itching to blow some dinosaurs away will be heavily disappointed, as your goal here is to protect these dinosaurs from the poachers; should you accidentally shoot at the dinos, you'll either be attacked (if close enough) or lose time from the game's 60-minute- you read that right, there's one hour to prevent the titular Second Cataclysm- timer.

And how do you prevent it? By driving through a long, unchanging jungle, shooting at obstacles in the road until a cutscene plays and actual action happens... then back to driving again. It's tedious, and-especially in single player- not very enjoyable.

The graphics look like you're driving through a grainy Sega CD FMV; as that's essentially what you're doing. The levels' look is created by looping the same FMV-rendered jungle scenery passing by.

That's right, six of the game's nine levels look the exact same except for a few new obstacles here and there, otherwise it's like you're driving through the same few miles of jungle over and over again, there's very little in any single chapter to make you feel like you're ever getting anywhere, which can be confusing to players if they don't consciously realize that this is just an on-rails experience with very repetitive scenery.

That said, the game's cutscenes, despite the hardware limitations, are rather well-made, and transition into gameplay well- hit a log, a dino, a crack in the road, whatever it may be, and you'll seamlessly trigger a unique death cutscene, which are fun to see... the first time, anyway.

The game progresses through nine chapters, each of which can be returned to from the menu should you lose all your lives. Because the gameplay is so monotonous, the real reward for completing the chapter is just seeing more of the game's story.

It's a lot like an arcade game, it even sounds like an arcade machine might sound in real life, with its loud, noisy music (that thankfully can be turned off) and like many other on-rails arcade games that weren't as much fun in single player, the multiplayer experience can be at least semi-enjoyable.

It's not a fantastic game, but its unique approach to simulating a pseudo-3D environment using grainy FMV was a novel idea for its time and the cutscenes convey an art style that fits nicely with a game based on a comic.

Difficulty isn't terrible; there are two options, Easy and Hard, and the car can take a tremendous amount of damage from obstacles on Easy, but the difficulty that does exist often comes from avoiding the large insta-kill objects, the things the car cannot hit and survive.

There are also some tiny dinos to try to avoid running over (like innocent civilians in an on-rails shooter) but the game's graphics are so iffy that you'll probably shoot it thinking it's a rock or run over it anyway, which is fine, unlike the aforementioned insta-kill objects, harming dinosaurs may reduce your time but it won't end your game.

If the level design weren't so repetitive, it might not feel quite so much like a chore to play, but shooting rocks or sticks that can otherwise be driven around, or the occasional obstacle that blocks the path altogether, is honestly a pretty boring concept.

There also also occasionally poachers to shoot, but it's infrequent, and the game never provides enough feeling of resistance except from the environment itself- it feels less like you vs the poachers, and more like you vs the jungle, which it is, in every way, but it's not the jungle's obstacles that are going to stop you in your path, it's the sheer soul-crushing monotony of driving through the repetitive levels.

4/10.