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Project Dorothy (2024)
Daytime TV cable tv...
I would rather watch weekday, daytime TV over this nonsense... like "My 900 pound life" type of daytime TV. See, I'm normally into quirky types of "B" movies, but this is... quite honestly one of the worst 'films' I have seen in a long, long time. To be fair, I have to put a disclaimer that I saw only about half of it. My whole family agreed we'd rather just watch the Stargate Atlantis rerun that was running on SyFy, so we switched off to that, but I gave it at least a good 40 minutes before I gave up. I'm not sure if you can even call it a film, tbh. I am not exaggerating when I say this has the feel of something I've seen my peers create in Movies class in high school in the late 90s. But they didn't even use Window Movie Maker effects. The production value, effects, and acting are way, way below your typical Matlock episode. It literally seems like a couple of 'bros' got together in a bar and got drunk and decided to make a scifi movie for the hell of it. "uhh huh huh huh dude, yeah man, you should totally make a scifi man, and make sure you give the thing like a hot female face, that always works" . Another way you can look at it is if you were playing the original Half Life and just wandering around Mesa without actually doing anything or encountering anything. My spouse joked that it looks like Iowa Farmland, and although initially I took it as a joke, I became fully convinced that's exactly what they did. It seems like they found an old decommissioned or possibly abandoned car manufacturing plant, as well as a abandoned office building from the 90's +/- 10 years, and just filmed the whole thing there. The initial shots showed car painting/manufacturing robots with literally zero post processing done besides like film grain and upping the contrast. They wander around a large cubicle type of office floor which had been cleared completely of all technology. They placed a couple of old computers on like 2 of the cubicles (out of like 50). The AI's "interface" special effect was literally nothing more than left centered Console Font text in green... There seems to be some sort of AI type entity somewhere in the complex, and that red face you see in the movie posters is literally the ONLY shot they have of the thing. It blinks... Opens and closes it's mouth... looks around. This is worse than stock footage, or maybe that's what it is. You see the camera, on multiple and numerous occasions just sneak up on the characters, as if something is coming up behind them, but it's nothing. Ever. Like how many times can you use a stupid plot device like that? I'm sorry, I just can't... I'll stop now...
The Night They Came Home (2024)
Decent Story "B" western...
Decent Story "B" western... The movie had a pretty good story line. I liked how they presented the viewpoints of different groups and people fairly and realistically, although a bit difficult to swallow at times. It looked like pretty low budget otherwise, but the actors were very well cast I think and most of them did a pretty good job. People have sort of likened it to a Cage movie where you can't quite decide if it's good or bad. But at the end, I'm glad I saw it. It had a realistic message which was explored somewhat with the interactions between the different groups and different interests. I think a good point it made is that getting along is largely determined on an individual by individual basis and how they've decided to fit in into an imperfect world. Sometimes the good guys had good points, sometimes the bad ones did. Nobody's perfect, and this was a good exploration into the complex communities which existed and vied for influence in the twilight years of the Wild Wild West. Some people will surely find it a bit cringe that any of us ever acted this way, but this is just fact. I didn't regret seeing it, let's just put it that way. I would give it 3-4 stars for the actual production, but the story/dialogue/performances really rose above the other issues with sets/wardrobe and were more like around a 6 or so. I'd say this is just about average all things considered; Acceptable.
The Creator (2023)
-3 stars for the creepy, pro AI anti western/US/human agenda.
-3 stars for the creepy, pro AI anti western/US/human agenda. I don't think it is a coincidence at all that the AI home base was in 'new Asia' (where the Chinese communist government is spending far more in AI per gdp than the US is. For the Karens, nothing against the people of China, just their government) and that we're expected to root for the machines. Let's get this straight, machines are here to serve us, humans. They will never be like you and I, no matter how perfectly they approximate human behavior. Their dreams will never be exactly like yours and mine. I would not chose life extension as a machine. It is just blatant advertisement and conditioning for the rise of the east through technological supremacy. It is their stated goal, just search online for it. Nothing wrong with that, generally. The US is not the only country around. I get it. But equating machine/human struggle with human/human struggle is a biiig no no for me. Everybody deserves a fair crack at happiness. But this beyond entertainment. Those who know, will know what I'm referring to :). Remember this: such technology is far, FAR more likely to be used, ultimately, against the common man in most respects than for him, especially when money is involved. Money speaks the loudest. It was just disturbing to watch on so many levels. And I normally love dystopian, alien/ai/tech gone awry movies. This is just plain creepy. No, you will not get me to live around dolls with holes in their sculls and be happy that my skills are no longer relevant. At least make em look human then, not like a sentient coffee maker from the 70s. And the fact that a quasi totalitarian regime, or even worse - predatory-capitalism-vultures like Musk - will be actually the most likely to bring us such tech in the future should be most, most concerning. It's just as bad as the USSR or CCP doing it, if not worse. They portray them as human, but you know that any sort of being like that will be far superior than a human mind at most tasks. Just creepy, dressed up propaganda. It would have been just as fun if all humanity was against the AI which had taken over the moon, for example. Or a base in Antarctica. I hate this constant cultural tension they want us embroiled in, and now with yet another technological angle added to it. Stop with the incessant Kumbaya, or at least keep it realistic! But I still want to give credit to the production team and writers. Otherwise the movie and acting is superb. Visually stunning as well. I totally saw the Rogue One aesthetic throwback, and loved the retromodernism. But it's not a rewatch for me. Too preachy, and in a worrying direction too.
Last Sentinel (2023)
Pretty good B movie
Pretty good modern B movie. Slightly above average because the acting and the story is actually decent. As is the typical casewith these movies, the ending is hanging/disappointing, but not overly so. I've seen much worse.
Dirty oversimplified and opinionated plot summary
(spoilers after this point).
In a water world type of earth, two warring continents exist between a midway point where the sentinel is stationed. An oil-rig type of military platform. A skeleton crew of 4 expects overdue relief. A derelict ship washes up empty. The captain does not wish it investigated, thereafter everyone's behavior starts to get weird and things get complicated. Turns out there is a 20mt atomic bomb in the sentinel which will destroy both continents if activated, so it's like a deterrent for total war. Both sides apparently want it. In the end, 2 of them die to stupid internal bickering and conflicts, two survive with an uncertain end, but presumably they did the 'right thing.' for humanity and the seagulls.
Zvyozdniy razum (2022)
Destroy humanity's 'children' or yourself?
...aaaand the early hater trolls who are out in full force. Usually happens right away, as usual, while the carcass is still young and tender.
This is a budget move, but for a budget movie, it does a great job. Both visually and conceptually. It's hard to miss the mark these days as cgi has gotten so cheap, and this movie delivers. It has a very 90s/80s Alien feel to it, as others have mentioned, the tech, the gear, the vibe. I personally love it. Acting is great too, but in scifi it's really the concept and implications of actions and technology that make the show.
It pays good homage to some classic scifi movies of yore. The suspense is great. Yes, you can basically figure out what's going on, but there's a huge twist, and therein lies the crux. Do you destroy humanity's children, as ugly as they are, in favor of a dying race? Can you even? Rises some very poignant moral and existential questions really. A great balance of visuals, and something that a lot of modern scifi has lost -- actual provocative concepts. Yes it's budget. If you just let it be what it is, you will enjoy it.
This is "hard" scifi too, which means that unless you truly enjoy the genre and really think about what you are seeing, you probably won't enjoy it. It's a psychological thriller more so than a visual one. I'm assuming a lot of the hate comes from people who are into thrillers but NOT necessarily into scifi -- this movie only works for both elements. If you are a fan of dystopian/thriller bordering on horror, and ALSO hard scifi in the Asimov or Clement mode, this one will be a great one for you. Speaking of, I got very "Event Horizon"-ish vibes from it too. So that's basically what you're dealing with, hope you enjoy!
The Requin (2022)
oh god... oh god... oh god... it burns...
You can see the shadow of their raft on the bottom of the swimming pool in which they filmed this 'open water' scene.
I was rooting for the shark the whole time.
I guess the random shots of the sky/clouds constituted about 10% of the movie.
I don't think I could have done it better, but then again... I'm not a producer or actor... they supposedly were...
Nice try though, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but pretty close. The final scene with the dead shark sinking slowly was actually pretty well done, from a visual/artistic standpoint.
Zeros and Ones (2021)
Why, Ethan? Whyyy??
Siggggghhhhhhh....... Ok...... I liked Ethan Hawke in Gattaca years ago... so I was like 'Yea, sure, let's give it a try'. I'm sorry but this is just unwatchable. I guess it's one of those horrible, cheap movies which knows it's horrible and cheap and tries to cover it up as an art film. If you call it art then it makes it good. But it's like trying to cover up the carcass of an elephant with a napkin to stop the smell. The 'explosion' of the Vatican effects? The insemination at gunpoint scene? Are you friggin kidding me?
The end is just the best. 'So, that's the movie... I just watched it... and you just watched it...' and then it's like a full minute of him staring and looking around quietly, rubbing his nose, speechless, as if deeply ashamed. He stated he did not understand the script but 'liked it'. I was half expecting him to confess that the whole thing was a prank. But no such luck. That was just priceless nevertheless.
You know what, nevermind... Enough said.
Dune (2021)
A classic of our times...
I think Herbert would have been thrilled to see where Villeneuve took his classic book, in complete terms of visuals, acting, and overall mood. Every decade or so we are treated to a masterpiece or two, and I'm glad that the trend continues strong. What Jackson did for the Lord of the Rings, or what Kubrick did for 2001, Villeneuve now did for Dune -- and it deserved it to the fullest. The dark mood teeters on the border of Game of Thrones fantasy, brought now to the scifi realm where we are treated to beautiful brutalist interiors, vintage-modern tech, and some characters straight out of some sort of a surreal dream. Great job to everybody who participated into the making of this masterpiece.
Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)
east-meets-west in this trippy art film
As others have pointed out, this movie is pretty trippy. It's tough to describle. It was like a weird mixture of the Walking Dead, Waterworld, Army of the Dead and Army of Darkness... without necessarily having zombies... It does indeed play out like a live action anime. It's not your mainstream action flick. It definitely has an art-film vibe to it. At first, the far-east-far-west mixture was a bit too 'randomly odd,' but it ends up working pretty well in creating this very surreal dream land/limbo setting. If you're not a fan of art house, foreign or other niche film genres, you probably won't like this. I was expecting a pretty typical B Cage movie with this, but was pleasantly surprised. The story is pretty interesting, and the world building is very well done. I think for me the setting was the best part of the film. It somehow doesn't feel quite 'complete', but due to the whole strangeness of it I'm not sure what they could do to round it off a bit more. I would recommend this movie if you like movies on the weirder side, and especially if you like Cage and comic-book like fantasy worlds in general. I'd categorize it more on the fantasy side than scifi, personally. Could have been better, could have definitely been worse. 6/10 overall. 8/10 with some herb.
2036 Origin Unknown (2018)
"It doesn't need to be human, it just needs to be smart"
As others have said, this is actually a great movie if you like to ponder the deeper ramifications of Turing-passing AI. I was impressed by the initial ambiguity of whether or not the AI understood humor. The fact that it didn't laugh does not mean it didn't get it. "It doesn't need to be like a human, it just needs to be smart." Really, why laugh like a human if laughter is a trait of inferior biologicals? A simple statement with very chilling implications for humanity in general. Other than that, yes, it's low budget, yes it's got like 4 actors, and yes it basically takes place in one room. It doesn't really present any brand new concepts or ideas, but it does it in a nice, straightforward and effective way. But I'm glad I gave it a shot despite the negative reviews. A solid 8 imo.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Great zom"B"ie movie.
Not sure what all the hate for this movie is all about. This is a great B movie, and I'd wager to bet that it will be a cult classic in 20ish years. First off, the movie scored points with me right away simply by referring to them as zombies. The movie knows what it is, not ashamed of it, doesn't hide it. It's a B movie. Simple as that, it delivers on gore, action, and some pretty decent effects and worldbuilding, and you'll find it a bit lacking in scripting or trying a bit too hard at times. But the result is just a fun ride. The zombies were pretty great too, the fact that they were at least semi-sentient without being outright smart made them all the more creepy. Lots of semi-overt humor as well. Like primitive cavemen, that sort of society. The movie starts out a bit slow, but picks up once they get inside the city. Nice ending with a chance for a sequel. If you compare it to top tier blockbusters, it would be like a 4, maybe. But for a zombie B flick, easily an 8-9, and if you add a pinch of 42O to the mix easily a 9-10.
Army of Darkness (1992)
20 stars!
One of the most fun, campy, cult classic movies of all time. Non-stop fun from beginning to end. It really is a thing of its' own, pretty much, and it stands out from the rest of the Evil Dead group. As others have pointed out, being shot on real film gives it a very cool look and feel. They also really pushed the edge of non-cgi special effects, especially on a budget. I think that in the end though those cheesy models are just outstanding with so much 'soul' in them which their equivalent modern CGI 'cousins' lack alltogether. It hankers a bit of "Nightmare Before Christmas" with the stop motion stuff, and a bit of Monty Python with the humor and visuals. It's a B level masterpiece of art in every sense of the word. A great, well rounded adventure tale. Fantasy fans and especially D&D and other RPG fans will definitely find this film right up their alley.
Black Sails (2014)
Solid 10, especially if you like 'piratey' stories already
I was very pleasantly surprised by Black Sails. I like period movies and shows in general. To me the story is half of the package, the other half is great acting and amazing sets and costumes. All of these work in tandem, and come together very nicely in this show for an overall amazing experience. A solid 8 or 9 overall, and since I love pirate stories so much, it's easily a 10 for me. I like it's honesty and, at times, uncomfortable scenes as well. Yes, it does have it's moments and this-and-that could be better possibly, but it's so good it kind of blinds you to its defects. I loved reading Treasure Island, so the way this ties in makes it even more interesting as a tale on the high seas! Definitely one of the top produced and thought out shows I have seen come out of the 20-teens ...
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Scrumptious period drama
If this movie could be compared to a meal, it would be a scrumptious, extravagant dining experience for all of your senses. This and Amadeus (1984) would have to be my favorite 18th century period dramas. I love the sets, the costumes, the acting. A great story of conniving and manipulation which, of course, doesn't turn out quite according to plan...
Anna (2019)
Decent plot, bad execution and sets.
Movie was OK. Typical modern low budget flick. The story is actually kind of interesting and gets much better towards the end. The acting is barely good enough to do it justice. Overall, it was actually enjoyable and the concept had a lot of potential. If this was researched better and the sets/costumes were produced better, this would actually be pretty good. As others have pointed out it fails on the "80s", and that's pretty much my biggest gripe with it. Out of 10, the story itself would be around an 8, the scripting and acting around a 5, and the set/historical accuracy/production like a 2 at best.
Who did their set, costume, and tech design? They should be stabbed like the guy in the movie. As if this movie was made by 16 year olds with zero understanding of history and fashion. In everything from interior design, technology, fashion, behavior it is a joke to market it as an 80s period piece. I suspect they only did this because 80s nostalgia has been around a while now and apparently a good marketing tool. If it only was the 80s. I kind if feel betrayed, lol. Flip phones? Laptops? Orange iMacs? Web video chat? It looks like 2019 with 2019 fashion, except somebody gave them a couple of 1998 iMacs, late 90s flip phones, mid 2000s laptops, and some 2015 clothes. They did get the cars right, though. I don't even know what time period they have recreated! It's literally a cheap, horribly done clusterfu** of visuals and sets. It doesn't know what it is, except for poorly thought out. I couldn't really enjoy it because of this.
The fact that it totally blew it visually, there's very little to prop up a cheap plot and scripting. Acting was not the best either, even for a B film, but just sufficient enough for me not to switch it off. I'm glad I didn't, because it actually comes together nicely at the end.. This movie could actually be good if done right, it had good potential in the story. I would recommend it for like a typical worknight movie where you just want to relax and aren't expecting anything super special.
Skyline (2010)
'Brainless' fun...
Not sure why this movie has such a low rating. The effects and aliens were pretty interesting in concept and very well executed for a budget film. The concept and cgi is really all that carries this movie. Of course, if you are looking for lots of substance, character development, and good science, then don't watch B level scifis. People should be able to tell by now what to expect from a movie. This is actually a great family movie for a bit of brainless fun, no pun intended. It started out a bit slow, showing its low budget, but turned pretty fun once the aliens attacked. Not every movie is going to be Avatar or 2001, but it can still be fun. If you go in with an open mind and reasonable expectations given the cast and budget, you will enjoy it.
Horizon Line (2020)
Another one on the pile...
Should have listened to the negative reviews. The whole thing takes place in a small airplane cabin, basically. Predictable to the point of boredom. Not the worst I've seen but pretty dang close. This is all I can say about this movie. I just can't watch this anymore, so I came here to review it....
Deep Rising (1998)
Fun B Classic!
Loved this movie growing up, and still love it today. Saw it recently recommended in a "B" movie list. For a 90's B movie, I have to say it's actually great! It's like Aliens but on a cruise ship! Love it!
Fringe (2008)
Declines very sharply after s2
Season 1-2 rating 9/10. Season 3-4 rating 5/10. Season 5 rating 3/10. I really enjoyed the first few seasons. Clearly a wannabe X-Files, but they eventually won me over with some of their own originality and great cast. However, I am not sure why so many shows start out great, and then as the seasons go by they decline so sharply. It is understandable that they cannot maintain an exceptionally high standard season after season, but the decline here is significant, like with so many other shows. The problem is that they start messing with the overall format and arc. In their effort to 'keep it fresh and unique' they end up totally overtrying and screw everything up. You cannot always be an on the edge breakthrough. People like the show for a specific reason, so I do not understand why they always have to go and ruin a good thing. It was not broken, so why fix it. I was enjoying the episodic nature of it in season 1-2, and the simple arc with Liv and cortexiphan. Then they introduced an alternate universe with interchangeable characters, and it started to lose focus and become a tad ridiculous. Like a woman with just a bit too much jewelry - not enough to be horrible, but enough to be out of taste and slightly ridiculous. Then the show started foraying into Star Trek grounds while trying to maintain a more scientific and realistic mood. Then, finally, it totally became a superheroes vs Aliens crapfest in the last seasons. Liv controlling peter with her mind as an 'unintended' consequence of the drug. Are they for real? If you want to do fantasy-scifi, go for it! I am a huge fan of Star Wars. But they insist on scientifically explaining magic, essentially, at this point. Drug made her into a superhero = lazy scifi writing. When you cannot come up with original and believable explanations, you can always just call it magic and put an end to all questions. Lots of great actors and ideas which fell prey to bad writing later on. Pity.
Underwater (2020)
Great 'B' movie for a weekday night...
This was a great 'B' movie, I wish people would just get off their high horses. It was a fun, brainless action/scifi flick for one of those nights when you just want to come home from work and turn off your brain for a little while and have some simple fun. Yea, there's literally zero character development, as a matter of fact I don't think I've ever seen a movie with no character development at all besides one or two sentences of character intro. The sets, acting and effects -- especially the effects -- were a lot better than I would have expected. There was a somewhat predictable 'twist', but still pretty fun and well presented. Overall, I'm glad I saw it, I really enjoyed my hour and a half of action and suspense, and I recommend it for anyone who is willing to give it a shot for what it is.
Dead Space (1991)
Pretty good as a B movie
This is a pretty good B list movie. If you're into that kind of stuff, you will like it. It's a good way to kill an hour on a workday evening with some pizza. As a B movie it's like a 7/10. If you're not into those, it's like a 3/10. It's clearly an Alien ripoff. The effects are worse than Star Trek TNG TV episodes of that same timeframe, but they try! I liked Tin Pan. It's cute.
The Price Is Right (2011)
The (worst) price is right!
This show is basically a scam if you think about it. Winning is dependent on you guessing the correct price of items, but yet time and time again, the prices claimed by the show are greatly exaggerated. They claim they can find proof of their claims. Sure, just go to Ebay and look up something cheap and inexpensive like a smartphone cover, and you'll see the same model ranging from like $5 to over $50 depending on the seller. There's always someone looking to take advantage of people who don't know what the items are worth, just like the show and its contestants. Just the other week, a Core i3 Dell desktop tower with flat screen and an inkjet printer for $1050? Who the heck still buys a consumer grade, non gaming level DESKTOP? Are you friggin kidding me? I went on the Dell website (I was the only person there too), and found the same system, core i3, added a comparable inkjet printer and it all came out to less than $400, including the shipping, and the printer wasn't even a packaged deal! And the screen was bigger than the one on the show. How the heck did they get 1050 for that? I really don't think I can get scammed that bad even if I was LOOKING to get scammed! They should definitely step into the 21st century. They should allow price-matching for items, just as many modern stores and websites do. I know they'll never do it, but even a slightly savvy shopper will basically bring the show down if the prices are realistic prices based on typical, actual value of the items. We're not talking sales or promos, just actual, realistic prices. Their stuff, even for services, is purposefully ambiguous. In an episode I saw a couple of years back I remember being appalled at the Niagra Falls weekend getaway for two people. The value was like $1900. With services, it's really tricky, and they can EASILY scam you. It also included dinner for two at a restaurant (I forgot the name), but I looked it up later. So, the tickets to Niagara are typically around 200, and that's from where I'm at (miami), so it's pretty far! That restaurant had a typical check of under $150 for two people, booze and dessert included, according to their website. They did not specify the hotel, but a typical hotel would be around 200 per night, and I'm being super generous here. The boat ride is like 75 per person last time I was there, and the rental car would be like 75$, assuming they even get one -- I am purposefully being super liberal with this to demonstrate my point. So 400 for the tickets, 150 for dinner, 400 for hotel, 145 for the boat ride, and 75 for the car. That's $1170. My point is this, they do not specify the hotels, the restaurants, the airline or anything like that, so you can't make a correct estimate at all. It is no better than blind guessing. Because I could come up with a $7000 Niagara Falls getaway for you if you want as well, depending on which hotels I book and what trips I take, where I eat, etc. Similarly, I can come up with a 400$ getaway. (Fly spirit, use Uber, stay at Airbnb or motel 6, and eat at Denny's). Also they don't say when you're going, is it during a holiday weekend, is it in high season, is it in low, what? Bottom line is, this show is a joke. If their prices are really based on 'the average cost for the average consumer' then that means the average consumer must be comparable to a brain dead flea when it comes to shopping, or much more affluent than the 'average person.'
Anon (2018)
We can't control what we can't see; we require persistent identity...
"this level of "anonymizing", makes all crime possible... the integrity of the system is compromised. We rely on transparency. We can't control what we can't see. We require persistent identity."
A very underrated movie imho. The 'Facebook' generation is unlikely to understand why, and I suspect hence the low reviews. The above phrase made a large impact on my rating of this movie. No explosions or wild chases in this one, so it mustn't be good, right? I happen to think it was very well thought out, from the whole idea of no longer being able to be anonymous, to the vector-line superimposed visual interface of the 'mind's eye'. A very sobering look into what a future society without anonymity would be like, with both the benefits and disadvantages that would entail. I think the pacing and filmography worked well for this, giving it a somewhat film-noir feel. The return to mid-century styles and fashion was also very nice, similar as in Gattaca. One of the better, cerebral titles I've seen this year.
The Walking Dead (2010)
Easy Recipe - WD episode! 10 mins prep time, serves 1000!
Ok folks, listen up, we don't have long to come up with the next Walking Dead episode. I know it seems like a hard task, but it's actually not that bad, I promise! Anyone can do it! Let's show our audience how we do it here at the WD so that everyone can try it at home! I guarantee you it won't be a big deal, here, just add 10 minutes of each of the following and throw it in iMovie for a couple 'a minutes and voila!:
First, let's just show people crying and whispering to each other, hugging and moaning and bitching, that should fill about 10 minutes of each episode. Make sure it's just like the ABC daytime soaps -- lots of rehashed drama, with no connection to a zombie apocalypse show. Just remember our mantra here, less is more.
Then we'll have about 10 minutes of zooming in on people's faces or showing them quietly struggling to make a decision, focusing on their eyes, facial expressions and quivering lips for another 10 minutes. Basically anything besides actual content and acting. Extra points if you make the scene real dark so it's basically just listening to heavy breathing and sobbing. If you're feeling creative, we can also substitute this for people dying slowly, very slowly, of superficial wounds which they should be able to survive. Just make sure it's a character nobody cares about. The length of time it takes 'em to die should be inversely proportional with how good and well developed the character was!
We're halfway there people! See, it ain't so hard! Then we'll throw in some asinine, trite monologues by Rick or Neegan, slowly spoken and with plenty of drawn out pauses for 'emotional effect,' and that should kill about another 10 minutes without anyone noticing. Make sure that during the monologues the bystanders have plenty of chances to kill Rick or Neegan and put everyone out of their misery, but also make sure nobody ever takes those chances! If you have a hard time coming up with Rick's dialogue, just copy and paste a speech he's made in season 4 or 5, everyone should have forgotten by now so we can reuse it no biggie. Waste not, want not!See, it's getting exciting already!
What are we up to guys, about 40 minutes? OK, great job everyone, now we have about 5 minutes left, and I know it's Monday and everyone is still sleepy and hung over from the weekend, but come on, we can come up with 5 minutes of something meaningful and exciting for each episode, can't we?
Anyone? Come on guys, we did all the hard work in season 1-3, all you gotta do now is just milk it, just gimme something here so we can get paid and go home! OK, fine, I have to do all the work around here, I guess, here's what we'll do you silly geese :). All we need is 5 minutes. Now, I know that we've done this before, but it's a old and true classic which never fails. We'll have a poorly-done CGI scene of zombies killing a minor character. Make sure they get killed though! Bonus points if they die in a situation even a small child could have escaped. Just have 'em run through the woods, with a zombie hobbling behind at 0.5 mph, trip on a branch, fall on some leaves, and then somehow be too hurt to walk away. It will be a great one, I promise!
Now, one last final itsy-bitsy thing. Throw in a couple of sprinkles of Daryl and Carol, just to make sure we don't lose any more fans, that should keep em coming back for a while. Even if they don't do much, just having them there on screen for a few minutes should help out a bit.
Oh wait, we have a question in the back. What's that? Where's the what? Where's the zombies, good acting, action, adventure, and suspense? What was your name again? Tom? Ok, Tom you're fired. I hate to do this but everyone has to be on board here, this is not what we do on the WD (anymore) Anyone else?
Ok, let's wrap it up people, and serve it up while it's still a hot, steamy crock!
Lost River (2014)
Terrible art-film
Let me give you a better synopsis of this movie:
Category:Art/Performance/Drama
"Mother of poor family falls behind on rent and gets sucked in, as a side job, into a world of extremely conceptual and macabre theater performances, while a teenage boy and his strange girlfriend explore some abandoned industrial and residential buildings which got submerged after a dam was built in the area."
Ryan Gosling should stick to 'acting.' The way the movie was described in the synopsis on IMDb misled me. I was expecting a drama/adventure with a little bit of fantasy. There's no adventure, really, not much drama, and very little fantasy, at least in the classical sense. Basically, this film should be filed under independent cinema or art/theatrical performances. *Way* too far fetched for me, and I'm an indie cinema and fantasy/SF nerd.
To sum it up, this is an art film, which tries to be an art piece, but fails miserably. The only reason why I actually finished this movie was because I was watching it with a group of friends, half of whom fell asleep midway, mind you. There is virtually no dialogue in the latter part of the movie, so you either have to be Kubrick or some other actual artist to pull this off. Very disappointing, and I'm not ashamed to admit I'll give almost anything a chance. I usually respect other tastes and can at least imagine how others may like a film I may happen to hate, but in this case, it was my whole party of 8 people who said this was a waste of time. Very dull, too conceptual to allow you to connect much with any of the characters, the movie starts off with some decent dialogue but the second part of the movie is essentially without any dialogue at all. I'd say avoid!