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Reviews
The Sunday Show with Jonathan Capehart (2020)
Unwatchable
MSNBC has an interesting new pair of weekend hosts -- Tiffany Cross and Jonathan Capehart. Cross' voice amazes me -- how'd she ever get a show with that truly awful voice!?!? Capehart's voice isn't much better. I've put up with him as a guest on other programs, but to actually be the host of his own show??? Sorry, no dice. (And his replacing Mark Shields on the PBS Newshour was a terrible choice -- he's unwatchable.)
The Cross Connection with Tiffany Cross (2020)
Unwatchable
That voice. I cannot and will not allow that voice of hers to infiltrate my skull. That voice was NOT made for radio or television.
What Would Ryan Lochte Do? (2013)
One star for the show + One star for his body = 2 stars.
For their next reality show I suggest that the E network comb the United States in search of a person born in the 1980s capable of human thought. It would be a long, on-going series because, if this Lochte show is any indication, there are none. He's the sort of guy Jay Leno would stop on the sidewalk for a Jaywalking segment and ask him questions about general knowledge. He would get them wrong.
When Lochte talks about swimming and when you see him do his exercises, you can see he's in his element and it's of moderate interest. But the rest of his life, which is 95% of this reality show, is one long snore-fest. He is just plain boring. The only saving grace for women and gay men is knowing that at some point in every episode Lochte will remove his shirt and show off his chest. If it weren't for the nipple-fest there would be no reason for this program's existence.
Lochte has spent a good part of his life in the water, he's a bit backward socially and shy. It's refreshing in a way, but I can't imagine building a whole series about it. I don't think that Lochte is much dumber than the average fellow his age. It's just that he's ill-equipped for this gig and the folks at E know it. And it's a shame because he does appear to be a genuine person (he even tears up at one point during an interview). There is more than one time in the first program that the E network made fun of him, more than happy to show Lochte's lack of knowledge and comment on it with a little bit of underlying wise-guy music here or there. Talk about kicking a guy when he's down!
I watched the first show laughing at first at how dumb everyone was (his date never heard of "wontons"), but I didn't laugh for long. I enjoyed Lochte's half-naked body that was constantly being paraded around, but even that wore off before the show was over (THANK GOD this is not a 60 minute show)!
Ryan Lochte was so much more attractive at the start of the show before he opened his mouth. By the end of the 30 minutes he seemed still-born.
The American Bible Challenge (2012)
Ugh.
I've just witnessed an episode of "American Bible Challenge." I go into some detail. Just so you know, I won't be revealing any specific questions or answers and won't tell you who won or didn't win. Ready?? Here's goes:
First, you know a show is in trouble when it takes SEVEN minutes of air-time before the first question is asked. Considering this particular kind of entertainment extravaganza, it's just as well.
The contestants are grouped into three teams of three people. That's nine contestants or "bible experts" as they are called (and it's clear that they really do know about and love the bible -- three of the constants on the day I watched were nuns). For all their expertise it's surprising that the show isn't tough like "Jeopardy," but instead it asks multiple choice questions. Many of the questions are easy enough for people who have never read the bible (like me) to know many of the answers.
And it's not all about knowledge. There was, and I kid you not, a part of the program that asked relatively simple questions but forced the contestants to submit their answers by flipping forks into the drinking glass with the correct answer printed on it (Jesus meets "Beat the Clock"). Today it was forks, but I get the feeling that with each new episode a new game of skill will be hauled out. What's next? Swallowing goldfish? Stuffing nuns into a Volkswagen??
The next round pits the best bible authority of each group against the others (it's still multiple choice and just like Chuck Woolery's "GREED" show only quicker).
Finally, mercifully, comes the last part of the show, the "Final Revelation Round" for $20,000. The two best teams are told the topic and whisked backstage, bibles in tow, to cram as much trivia into their noggins as possible. Then each team is put through a 60 second speed round, with the same questions asked of each team (just like the end round in "Win Ben Stein's Money"). Whichever team answers the most questions correctly wins the dough.
I haven't mentioned Jeff Foxworthy. He does a job similar to his hosting the "5th Grader" show (but doesn't milk the answers nearly as much). I can't help think that this comedian must really be in need of work. I mean, wouldn't he rather be entertaining audiences as a stand-up?
This is a 60 minute show and it tries to be a lot of different games all rolled into one. They couldn't possibly fit all this into 30 minutes, but at 60 minutes it overstays its welcome. The show has several sprinklings of music performed by an extraordinarily enthusiastic and intense gospel-like music group (it's supposed to make you feel like you're in a church down South). You get to hear about 15 seconds of their singing at any one time. The music zooms in and zooms out so quickly, and with so much force, that it comes at you rather aggressively. That said, it is the most entertaining part of the show.
Every Day's a Holiday (1937)
Stinks
I love Mae West but this film stinks. She looks GREAT. She's slimmer, trimmer, and actually looks lovely. The sets are pretty terrific, the costumes grand, etc., but the censors have scrubbed her so clean that one wonders why she bothered to make this film.
I heard perhaps two or three (very mild) sexual double entendres throughout the entire length of this dull dud. Mae West may be in this movie but the Mae West character is absent. Instead we have actors (other than Miss West the film is 99% male) playing up their not-so-funny scenes to the point of hysterical convulsions (Charles Winninger is the most guilty culprit -- he is so over-the-top that he makes Jerry Lewis look tame). There's nothing funny about an unfunny script being desperately played like it's a screwball comedy.
The plot? Ugh. Why would a talented, glamorous, and successful stage star give up her career to become a crook, selling the Brooklyn Bridge to morons and stealing gowns and firs from department store windows? I have no idea, but that's the premise we're asked to swallow. And how is it that as soon as someone suggests to this crook that she give up her lengthy crime spree and resume her career, she's back on stage in a flash, wowing tons of aggressively cheering crowds? Don't ask me, I have a headache. And I HATE films that use this old tired ploy: somehow when Mae puts on a dark wig and speaks with a French accent no one recognizes her. Huh? Does everyone have stupid written on their foreheads?? In most of Mae West's films there is character development for all the essential roles. In this film this crucial element is missing so I found myself never caring a lick about anyone in the film, especially Mae West's Peaches O'Day. "Every Day's a Holiday" is a far cry from her earlier films. Remember rooting for Tira the lion tamer? And how about Mae masquerading as Sister Annie Alden and become serious about religion in her dramatic masterpiece "Klondike Annie"? And it was sure fun to see her spoof her own sexy movie star persona in "Go West, Young Man."
If you buy the entertainer-becomes-a-crook-reverts-to-entertainer premise and you don't mind a Mae West movie without Mae West saying anything funny or sexy and you like a dull script played like it's the Marx Brothers, you may be able to stomach "Every Day's a Holiday."
PS -- there's a boom mike shadow that appears toward the end of Mae's first visit to Charles Winninger's mansion -- it appears on one of the columns. It's the most interesting part of this film.