Change Your Image
mojo-obp
Reviews
Party Monster (2003)
WARNING: queer drama ahead!
i thought this was a murder thriller, when I read the summary. but in fact it's a gay movie, about a buncha kids dressing up as women and making gay parties in the '80s. it's quite tasteless, btw.
based on a true story, the movie (at best) tries to show what happens to gay boys who come from nowhere to a big city by themselves. the characters are all losers and hollow-minded.
there is, however, a murder in this one, but there's no suspense, and it happens near the end of the movie, after you see (or fast-forward) about 70 minutes of gay guys dancing and acting and talking all gay-like (you know, like the stereotype, exaggerated). on the plus side (for me), there is absolutely no gay sex or even gay kiss scenes :)
extremely boring and meaningless(if you're heterosexual).
Marci X (2003)
This is like, the WORST movie ... EVER!
yeah, it's that bad. it's horrible. i can't even waste the words to explain it.
don't watch it, don't even consider watching it. if your hair's caught on fire and you go screaming through your building, and your neighbour with a bucket of water, says "watch Marci X or you're not getting this on your head" tell him to sod off. if you fall from an 8 story building break both your legs and have your ribs stuck in your heart, and the doctors in the hospital tell you "watch Marci X or no surgery" tell them to kiss your butt, because it's less painful. Believe me. And if you get abducted by aliens and they "watch Marci X or it's probin' time" tell them to watch it themselves, cause it's the worst thing you could wish for somebody.
You DON'T want to see this tasteless, mindless, pointless, substanceless piece of s**t.
Project Viper (2002)
the movie is total crap, Theresa Russell is awesome
A DoD special agent is sent to investigate the failure of a space-shuttle just above earth. What seems to have killed the astronauts is a creature specially designed on Earth to perform terra-forming on Mars. Of course, as you already suspects, the creature doesn't just create vegetation in order to produce oxygen, it also has some nasty homicidal tendencies. Actually, it feeds on humans. So our special agent goes to meet the scientists who've created the monster to figure out a way to kill it. Again we don't have a full-on military strike, just one law-enforcement agent and a couple of scientists hunting what seems more dangerous than the T-Rex. Yeah, right. The creature settles in a small town in Illinois, where everyone is dropping dead from cancer, which is caused by their uranium-contaminated water purification system (the main water pump is in an old uranium mine, and nobody suspects anything in this town, although they had 38 deaths in 7 years, and over two thirds of the population suffering some form of cancer... another priceless thing in this movie). We also have a "traitor" in the team (it's an inside job, as they say). And yada yada, so on and so on. It's boring as hell, and you could really live better without watching this.
What makes this movie worth watching is Theresa Russell. She does her acting job as usual. But this time, she looks really sexy. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter that she's old. She is a real MILF. And she will certainly lead you through the movie, without switching it off.
Bad Moon (1996)
It's about man's best friend. (german shepherd)
The good thing is that it lasts only 80 minutes. That's the longest run for a script like this. A man, while having a sexual intercourse with his girlfriend, gets bitten by a werewolf, and his gf gets torn to shreds (yes, you've guessed it, she was in mid-orgasm when the beast attacked). He becomes a werewolf. The rules in this movie are such, that he turns into a werewolf every single night, no matter what moon phase it is. And also, silver bullets and garlic are not the only things that can kill him, as he insightfully explains it to his nephew "a good shotgun blast to the head" will get him too. He moves to his sisters (and nephews) house, away from his trailer home in the mountains, because he has murdered 5 hikers already (as a werewolf), and believes that only family love can save him from his destiny. He is dead wrong, and soon, as a man also turns into a psycho, killing all the duality of wolf and man, usually found in these movies, which is just too bad, as it could have been a lot better that way. The real hero of this film is not this man, he is the antagonist. Nor is it his sister, not her son. Actually, the protagonist is a German shepherd. Yes, that's right, throughout the movie, a German shepherd, owned by the little kid, is protective of him and his mother, against his uncle. He is the only one that can suspect that the uncle is not all he seems, and he is also the one who kills the werewolf at the end, and lives to tell, even in the closing shot, we see his "angelic" face down on his paws. So, this movie is actually about the devotion of dogs to men. And that saves it from being a total disaster. In conclusion, watch it, if you get a chance, it's watchable.
Deep Cover (1992)
kinda nourish, but good and proper.
As all thriller comments and reviews, this contains SPOILERS.
Laurence Fishburne plays a cop who is sent undercover to expose the largest American cocaine traffiking cartel, which is led by a man who is supposed to run for president in his native country (doesn't say which one, though). His father was a junkie, who got killed in front of his eyes while robbing a convenience store on a Christmas eve, when he was 10 years old. He swore he'd never do drugs or drink. He gets in the organization from the bottom, and starts climbing up the crime ladder, and eventually manages to bust and/or kill all of them, save a little kid, and get the babe.
What makes this film good is, of course, Laurence Fishburne in the lead, and his narrative capabilities. Most of his voice-off is in nourish metaphores and rhymes, and he makes the flow of the film very smooth. A good watch.
And, a trivia, the theme song "Deep Cover" (heard on the end credits) was performed by Dr.Dre introducing Snoop Dogg. Just an interesting fact, cause this was before "The Chronic" album, so I think it's first Snoops tune ever.
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
If you haven't seen this already, you're not missing anything.
This film, which by reading the summary (I know, we all hate reading summaries for thrillers, but we all still do) could potentially be understood as at least semi-good, is ruined by 3 key aspects.
First, the script is naive and offers us that our lead lady, who is an amnesiac (for 8 years), when finally confronted with her past, changes her personality completely around (amnesia and reminiscences are portrayed here exactly how schizophrenia is usually portrayed in movies). She starts out as a caring mother and domestic wife and then turns into a ruthless, vicious, slutty assassin. There is an abundance of holes in the thriller part as well, but the stated fact, makes the entire movie look ridiculous and childish.
Second, to top the first problem, this role is portrayed by Geena Davis. Who is completely unconvincing and pale (mostly as the second 'personality' Charlie). At times when she is changing and turning her personality 180, we get some 'The Exorcist' (loosely) style changes in her facial expression, voice and language used.
Third, to completely bury this movie is the directing. The director, obviously couldn't decide where and how to take the thriller approach, together with the action-flick approach, and also the drama-approach. Instead of doing one of these averagely, he fails on all three, and we have a mushy final result, which doesn't look like anything categorizable (which can be very good, but this is not the case here).
Samuel L. Jackson plays 'the sidekick'. I find it offensive, that he as the only black member of the cast, gets pushed around, slapped and even kicked out of a car (his friend, Geena Davis, uses her leg to push him out of a moving jeep because she 'don't need him anymore).
They (2002)
Avoid at all costs!
this ain't no horror, this ain't a suspense/thriller as you might have hoped for. the title would maybe suggest that it has an sci-fi element, but it doesn't. and the thing that bothers about this movie is, that it's technical production isn't bad at all, the shots, the lights, the scenes, the props, photography and editing are at a standard Hollywood blockbuster level even! but the story itself, the screenplay is so incredibly stupid, pointless and incoherent, that it could barely pass as something written by one person. i'm serious like, it's as though they gave a 200 word assignment with the topic called "child bad dreams" to a buncha 8-year olds, and than randomly mixed them together to form a screenplay, only cleverly changing the names of the characters to a unique predefined set :) i mean, LOTR is kinda boring, so it would be inappropriate to call this crap "boring" cause it ain't the same feeling. yes, yes, if after reading this you still decide to watch this movie (you must be a mazohist), do your family a favor and buy some ventolin before you do, because even if you never had an asthma attack in your life, i guarantee, you will now. i mentioned that the scary thing is that it looks like a real movie, only it's incredibly stupid. we all must think, where is the industry leading film nowadays, if people like the makers of this crap get this kind of a budget to make a movie.