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Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
I slept through many bits of the movie. But I'm sure so did Scorsese when he forgot to say cut in 20 different instances
Was it too long. Was it too slow. Was it too realistic that it forgot it was supposed to feel like a movie? Everyone knows the answer. Just don't wanna say it coz they'll seem too dumb right. I had to go 4 times to coffee in between to stay awake. But whenever I came back, the scene wouldnt have moved one bit from when I left. Yes, I have to say that the performances were excellent, the attention to detail was top notch and the intention was noble. But that's not the only reason one goes to watch movies is it? To be entertained in any way?
I really don't have anything more to say than what I've already written now mainly coz I've already spent way too much time on this movie. Not fair on myself to spend any more.
Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013)
A Movie That Should Have Been Called MakeMyTripHorrible.com
They say this movie is about life. Yes it is. About love. Yes again. About friendship. True. But all of it only as per its hero, Ranbir Kapoors convenience n from his perspective. Centered on him, the movie is literally ON Ranbir Kapoor. If he sings, the world sing along n clap. If he dances, they dance around him. If he enjoys life, be it by being a selfish brat, they appreciate it n encourage him. If he pees, girls sit n stare n if he flirts, no matter how badly, the hottest girl in town gets an instant orgasm. Heavenly eh..
Think of a movie where the plot is blank, the cast is expected to do nothing but smile and dance, logic in the proceedings was never to be asked of, n the director has his brain donated way before his death.. Or, think of a TV serial shortened to 3 hrs. Think of 3 hrs of Mtv on the large screen. Think of boredom competing with tolerance for 3 hrs. Instead, think of Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani. its 3 hrs of weddings n dancing n nonsense beautifully combined in such a way that you'd be proud of man's skill in recreating hell on earth..
So what does this movie offer? U have Ranbir playing a guy whose only aim in life is to be happy. How he affords it is not to be asked. (maybe he's a part time dance instructor whose choreographed dancer students turn up every time he breaks into a dance routine even if it happens around 3 dozen times during the whole movie) he's Mr popular n perfect for whom nothing can ever go wrong.. Almost like a demigod on whom u can expect legends n myths to come up in 50 yrs time..
N u have Deepika playing a geek who transforms into a happening super cool lady in a single day. How she does that is way beyond human logic. Must say though that she portrays her role of a desperate geek quite convincingly, be it by stalking him at every opportunity available including when he's peeing or exploring the mountains alone at 3am, n falling in love with him in an instant.
Then there's Aditya Kapur playing a jealous modern day Devdas whose justification to ruin his life is coz his best friend wasn't on Skype with him 24/7. U have Kalki Koechlin play a tomboy who has got a crush on Aditya, but she never confesses it to him but that doesn't matter cause it doesn't affect the movie in any way. But then y show it in the 1st place? Again not to ask.
Then there's Ranbirs step-mom (who he actually calls 'step-mom') not giving a damn about him not turning up for his dad's funeral as long as he was partying elsewhere. Now that's a message from a producer who once proclaimed its all about loving Ur family..
So what happens during the movie? Well thats simple - Ranbir goes trekking with friends, forms a bond with Deepika the geek n later ditches all of em to pursue his dreams of traveling. N yrs later, though he has his share of life while the rest don't, when they all meet its conveniently forgotten n he gets their love once again with no effort at all. Win win situation for Ranbir Kapur. N for the background dancers too for having more screen time than most of the actors themselves..
What was going thru the directors head when he came up with this no-brainer? Or was the plot conceived after they struck a deal with Makemytrip.com as principle brand sponsor? If that was the case, how I wish they had struck a deal with Durex condoms instead. Wud be interesting to see Ranbir play a man-whore who spent 8 yrs sleeping with women all over the world, n instead of the locales, u get to see .. Well then that may be a future Mahesh Bhatt remake so I'm not gonna spoil it now.. As for this Karan Johar version, watch it if u wanna know where the latest benchmark for crap is placed.. may god be with you..
The Tree of Life (2011)
A movie i loved to hate
OK i had to click on the spoiler alert, even though it doesn't really have any because thats the only option this movie has left me with. what else would you call a spoiler in a movie that has nothing but a few screensavers rearranged with voiceovers n a broody brad pitt n sean penn n a few dinosaurs waking around? nothing. absolutely nothing. thats tree of life for you.
This movie is just terrible to the core that it successfully 'fails' to belong to any list of multimedia, be it movie, short film, documentary, handycam nonsense, advertisements, slideshows, and yet surprisingly it has all of them in it. Pretty sure that brad pitt was high in signing up for this movie or owed terrence malick a huge favour that he couldn't run for his life when he was offered it. as for sean pen, well he would have been excited at the chance to call younger brad pitt his father so he's excused.
As for the rest, i don't even think they realised they were being captured by a camera until the movie came out. and did the director soak his script in his cup of coffee or something? what does the death of the kid have to do with the birth of the universe? or a kid throwing away a stolen nightwear with some dinosaur moving about. how does brad pitt being a bad father and the volcanic eruption correlate and why are they all walking in the beach in the end? i think it would be a more interesting movie to see how the director convinced the stars to act in it.
And for this movie, i would like to request the censor board to make it double A-rated for the elderly nearing a 100 years who have no way to while away their time and might as well die in the cinema. cursing their life before they die though.