Reviews

This is the worst non-Boll horror movie I have ever seen. It is stupid, and bad, and pretentious, but most of all irritating. Every cliché you thought was hilarious as a preteen in the early eighties is reproduced remarkably poorly here. God, Zombie is probably the stupidest non-president American right now. He tries so hard to be cool but creates instead the single lamest thing I have ever seen. And I've seen "Sabrina the Teenaged Witch the Animated Series." Astonishingly irritating. Incoherent. Poorly conceived, written, acted, produced, and edited. Savagely insufficient and inept.

The best part is Michael J. Pollard's slumming cameo. That's right, Michael J. Pollard slumming. This is that movie.

No, it is worse than Boll. Boll is just a hack, Zombie's a pretentious idiot. The only thing making this movie better than "Gods and Generals" is its brevity.

Spoiler: The South Loses. But more to the point this thing is so bad it does not deserve to be called a movie. What's with all the happy slaves? What's with the profoundly unambiguous Southern propaganda kitsch? God this was awful. The weak attempts to show the other side, the winning side, the right side, by recourse to Chamberlain is fully swallowed in the waves after wave of sickening Confederate treacle. It reminded me of 'Triumph of the Will' but with more Jesus. On the other hand it is very long so you get a lot of minutes per rental dollar. Of course if you are a rational and feeling human being you will have to fast forward through a lot of the sap so actual minutes viewed will vary. And I say all this as a descendant of a Confederate soldier. They should all have been hanged from Davis to Lee down to the little drummer boys, such treason did they commit. Likewise anyone associated with this "filmed entertainment" should have their union cards, industry awards, and American citizenship revoked.

Sure, this is a B Movie but it is moody and creepy and worth a look. Haunting. I haven't seen it since it was on TV nearly 20 years ago and I can't forget it. The Lemurians are really unsettling weirdos. Sure, Timothy Bottoms is always a little suspicious but pretend he's a young George W. Bush and your path to movie fun is free and clear. It'll be great. Plus, Lisa Blount, can't go wrong there. Generally I'm against so-called reviews which say 'for what it is it's whatever' but in this case, when something does manage to be genuinely unsettling, I give it a go. Not much upsets or disturbs me, but this got under my skin and I think that's worth praising. Write your local congressperson or entertainment conglomerate and demand a North American DVD release. Now!

I really thought I was in store for some classic post-Punk mayhem a la Deathrace 2000 or Dead-End Drive-In (which are both fine movies) but instead I saw one of the best movies I've ever seen. Call me a sap but I had tears welling up in my eyes for the entire last forty minutes. Rarely does clarity of direction and story-telling go hand-in-hand with such an unusual movie. Excellent performances are derived from both the actorly and realist schools and even a little over-the-top style but the different kinds don't clash, they combine to make it a fuller, richer film altogether.

I had never really wondered what it would be like if Christopher Lee and Meadowlark Lemon had a son but now I know.

Beautiful camera-work and a truly human sympathy for even minor characters (Julie Dean on her porch, the Troubadour talking to King Billy) make all scenes watchable and invaluable.

This movie is humane and beautiful. A real treat. Odd as hell, to be sure, but remarkable.

Funny enough I suppose. Unfortunately it will remind you of how odious and self-important many comedians are. But when writers from 'Yes, dear' aren't talking about 'the craft' it's a fine enough waste of time. When Bob Saget and Paul Reiser make you laugh there's something not quite usual going on. I suppose that's the upswing, hacks redeeming themselves somewhat. And when this movie is funny it is very funny. Fred Willard, Jake Johanssen, Sarah Silverman, Billy the Mime, and Taylor Negron, steal the show as far as I'm concerned. Phyllis Diller is in this movie but unfortunately so are her arms which are possibly the two scariest things I have ever seen. Those wings of hers are a memento mori like none I've ever seen. It's like they are already decaying.

How could anything, anything, possibly be this bad? People (there were others in the theater!) were talking on cell phones and just to each other -- AND NOBODY MINDED! We were glad for the distraction. Every cliché, no innovations. I've seen a lot of bad movies but I am embarrassed to have seen this. Not a single shred of redeeming material. If they had set it in Vancouver and not just filmed it there it would have improved 114% because then it would at least have the novelty of being about demons running amok in Canada. It is, by the way, the perfect, the ne plus ultra, of Tara Reid vehicles. She mouth-breathes her way through this bullflop like a catfish in a car seat.

Not really, just a little Monheitisme. Wow! This is a bad movie. Really quite stupid but for some reason I have to admit I'm not offended by it. By a movie which actually, truly, and literally desecrated the graves of my ancestors. By a movie which excreted a combination or urine and feces from its unholy cloaca onto my chosen profession (history). By a movie so obviously repeatedly and with malice aforethought script-doctored that it is forced into the corner of commenting on its own poor writing. This is a terrible and stupid movie. Yet somehow not as offensive as most Bruckheimer movies. If you like seeing Nicolas Cage, Christopher Plummer, Harvey Keitel, Jon Voigt, and some hot German chick disgrace themselves, well, this is the movie for you. Let me just say these two specific things, the freezing and thawing of the oceans would rip a ship apart in 200 hours nonetheless 200 years. Why the hell would the Masons try and hide treasure from the British? They're third only to the US and Switzerland in being Masonically entwined.

I loved this movie. Often surrealist wackiness doesn't do it for me, especially if blended into more straightforward narrative, but this film did it, did it well, and made it work. The first act (the wackiest) is beautiful and no matter how strange totally fitting with the rest of the movie. A lot of the previous commentors or summarizers seem to have gotten the facts of the movie a bit skewed, the McCanns live in the Bahamas during World War II, the courtroom scene (which I think worked perfectly) switches the focus not to Claude Maillot van Horn but to Jack's daughter. The murder is truly nauseating and I have a pretty decent tolerance. The story is based on a true story, the odd life and unpleasant end of Sir Harry Oakes but Roeg goes with a more personal story than anything I've ever heard about Oakes. In real life he was the victim of a dispute between HRH the Duke of Windsor, governor of the Bahamas, and the Mafia..