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Halloween (2018)
Dont waste your time!
Its sad that movies such as this one inevitably do well at the box office, as a fan of the franchise in general (except Resurrection) I really was excited to see the next iteration after the timeline was reset.
Eagerly awaiting the familiar theme tune, I dug deep into my bag of salty and sweet popcorn and upon viewing the overly stylised mental asylum, I began to feel a familiar urge. Did I really just spend twenty pounds on this? Maybe it will improve if I keep watching? Maybe the annoying teenage girl behind me will stop kicking the seat? But I digress.
The point is that this movie is painful to watch, the atmosphere is completely absent, it is not scary on any level and with no build up to a reveal it kinda felt like watching the movie version of a limping gazelle, fast at points but then utterly monotonous and tropey at other points. None of the characters are likable, theres a really stupid dumb 'twist' if you can call it that in the middle and the ending is just kinda meh.
Sorry its awful but maybe this will finish off the series completely, nightmare on elm street 2010 was bad enough but this just destroyed the last lingering remnants of hope I had left.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
An Adult Kid's Movie or A Kiddy Adult's Movie? Just a BAD movie!
After all the hoopla I took a risk and saw this movie, wow! so this is what Hollywood is doing these days?
I gotta say this was literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen! The script was really poor and any parts that were semi-decent were immediately cut down with cheesy one liners and really BAD humor, seriously this movie script rivaled the one liners from Schwarzenegger in Batman and Robin.
It really bothers me that movies like this with massive budgets and no thought get such a huge rating. Movies like the Babadook; (released the same year) a movie with relatively no budget but a very entertaining ride gets a mediocre IMDb score. I guess it is unfair to compare a family? movie with a horror but GOTG may as well have been a horror because it was uncomfortable to watch.
New ideas are clearly not the way forward if cheese like this can score so highly, I'm sorry but in my opinion if a movie has a huge budget to begin with then there is no need to economize and the movie will just be thrown together. CG does NOT make a movie more watchable and the sooner Hollywood gets it, then I may consider going back to the Movies to watch another Blockbuster. I had the same problem with Avatar, I don't care how pretty the movie looks but a bad script/story will always show a movie for what it really is and this was a real turkey!
The visuals and budget aside, trust me I'm just getting started; the character development is totally non-existent and the characters are extremely one dimensional. You will not care about any of them they are all stereotypical sci-fi fodder (colorful aliens with the same weapons you've seen over and over again and annoying comic relief characters).
As well as the common sci-fi tropes ...travel through space ...aliens coming to Earth. ...a dystopia. ...superhuman abilities. ...a war against evil. ...visiting a world where you were never born.
Each one is present in this movie in one form or another and it just goes to show how formulaic it really is. I honestly almost puked at the last line of this movie too, you'll know it when you hear it.
Lastly the Music, nothing original here its all 70's and 80's pre- made tracks, spliced in with the usual dramatic sci-fi score, I don't buy the whole "it makes it more authentic" thing I also don't buy the fact that he has a seemingly endless supply of AA batteries for his tape player either! How convenient that they had a bank of old tracks to recycle for this movie, definitely not a cost-cutting strategy...
After watching this I have had an epiphany; independent and art movies are obviously the way forward because they never have huge budgets and the result is a movie that has been a struggle from the word 'GO', adversity results in better art and this movie demonstrates another lazy cut and paste Hollywood fail to me.
Seriously don't bother!
The Secret Agent Club (1996)
An excellent kids movie
An Oscar winner this is not, clearly. However as a kids movie this has everything you could want, a kid friendly plot complete with espionage, weapons, martial arts and hammy villains. Hulk Hogan does a decent enough job as Ray and despite what anybody else says, the kids all do a good job with the script. The occasional cheesy bits and possibly unintentional comic moments (due to cheese or cliché) don't detract and if anything, add to the fun nature of the movie.
Family fun that should not be disregarded, it makes no apologies about what it is and that is a solid kids movie that is entertaining and exciting for all ages.
Enjoy!